Why deal with the groupie love?

by Zettler Clay

newclutchlogoblackContrary to the title, this article is not a scathing article towards the men about their sub rosa love affairs. No, this is for the women who pursue men of power for reasons other than the important reasons. We all know that the athletes, actors, and musicians garner an exorbitant amount of attention from the opposite sex. We know that men in positions of leadership, whether it be a church pastor, business exec, or professional sports coach (you didn’t think that it was just the players who attracted the women, no?) get the triple takes.

We get that.

One would think that if there were only a select group of men who hold said careers, then one would look elsewhere to avoid the heartache that comes with being the mate of a person who is highly visible and attractive.

You would think.

Having recently graduated from college, I have seen this firsthand, on a smaller scale. Greeks and athletes are the “rock stars” of a college campus. Women know this. They see them step in full view, stroll or hop in parties, dress in GQ gear in the lounge, and wear all kinds of distinctive colors. They hear the stories, but yet, they fall prey. But this article isn’t merely about women chasing men of power and esteem. It is about the limited supply, high demand principle that we become familiar with in economics.

We are talking about the 90/10 principle: 90 percent of the women want 10 percent of the men. Ask any woman what they want in a man, and you are virtually assured to hear the same qualities in different variations. This is not about standards either. There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want. Just know that there are consequences, and one of them being that as long as this mentality is shared, then there will always seem like a shortage of men.

This is in no way me hating on another man’s game. Blokes, if you pull by the dozens, more power to you. I am talking to the women who – in business terms – foolishly seek out the high demand product for reasons that have nothing to do with the product’s durability, ability to fulfill need, and entertainment value over a lifetime. If you don’t heed these factors before you buy the product, then you will do nothing but repurchase it. Nobody wants to keep buying the same good every year.

In other words, check out the consumer reviews before you purchase. This is not exclusive to the entertainers of the world. That married, doting-father at your job or the deacon in church or even the author whose book just made Oprah’s book list. The 90/10 principle is ubiquitous. Men fall prey to this rule as well. But again, I am talking to the women.

I am talking to the ones who are tired of picking the wrong dude time after time because of poor due diligence. Approach a relationship like you would approach a business investment: when everybody envies the same product, the smart investor looks to buy another stock. Why? Market saturation. Why buy the high-priced stock when there are plenty of diamonds that haven’t been discovered and have more potential for growth? In fact, buying a home and choosing a life-long mate parallel more than one would think:

Both are decisions made to last for a significant amount of time.

Both require endless maintenance.

There are endless costs, thus work is necessary to keep it.

You always look for the home with the best equity; likewise, you always look for the man who will “pay” you more throughout the years.

Now of course, if you are just looking for a quick purchase, flip, and resale, then this doesn’t apply and you can look for the short-term fix. Groupie love is what I call it.

Strange thing about groupies though, is that that somewhere down the road, you’re going to get caught up. Some day…some time.

  • ceecee

    “Why buy the high-priced stock when there are plenty of diamonds that haven’t been discovered and have more potential for growth?”

    I’m still looking for that diamond cos everyone I’ve picked up just turned out to be glass stones.

  • http://stylespotlight.blogspot.com Talysha

    OMG! If only I had read this article 2 years ago, I wouldn’t be in the mess I’m in now. Great article though! I really appreciate the message and it made me really think about what I want. I’m with CeeCee… I’m still looking for that diamond too because I’ve really been selling myself short. BTW, where are the Zettler Clay-like guys at any way? I’m just sayin.

  • tremaine

    I think most people don’t focus on the longterm anyway, it’s more about instant gratification. It’s honorable of you to bring this to the forefront. Some of us are *still* single b/c we cannot find that certain someone who’d be willing to take a chance on the present and the future instead of just the present. Great article.

  • chris caliente

    Most of us hate to admit that at one point we were the “groupie”. If we all recognized our own worth we wouldn’t fall into this. That’s a great post. I’m sending this to all women I know. Thanks!

  • Coco

    I think that it is just as easy to be hurt by the high post brother as it is by the regular dude. I know many women who have settled with the dude who was not the most popular or the most attractive or the most successful only to be cheated on or lied to, I don’t really think that we can just think that we are safe because a man doesn’t have groupie love. Recently a friend of mine was going out with this guy that we knew from high school. During high school, the guy was nice but not anyone that my friend wanted to talk to and then we grew up and he grew up and she decided to go out with him and was feeling him. However, he seemed to be still upset that she didn’t want to talk to him back in the day!!! He had a chip on his shoulder like Mike Jones. Needless to say we found out that he had a fiance and he didn’t want to tell my friend because he didn’t want to give up on going out with one of the hot girls that he had always wanted from high school. Anyway, I think that this is an excellent post.

  • http://blogadonna.blogspot.com Donna

    Wow! I love this article. This is so true. Trust me, I am in college and use to date a football player and he dogged me out so bad. When I met him I did not know he was a football player, and I naturally took a liking to him. However, I do believe that if I knew how much of a dog the athletes on this campus were, I would have been more cautius, but now I know. I am on to all the game! I have been with my current bf for 2 yrs and I still make sure to stay alert.

  • Sharonda

    Well, some females would think because a guy take them out one time, they in a relationship.They talk and they think they a couple.So eager to have something no their arms, they just don’t know.I had many friends like that.Go out on one date, give it up and be dogged the next.Of course we want nice things, but like education you have to work for it.

  • http://neteralmagazine.com My

    This is a good article… The author must have dealings in Real Estate.

  • Tip

    I have been living by this principle for years! I DO NOT date what I call high profile men, at least not seriously, even though I have had the option to. You are right to many women are chasing them and many of them have an air about them. One of you should feel lucky to be with me cause I the ish. I always go for the cute, unassuming, low profile guy. I’m glad somebody else put it out there!

  • http://www.myspace.com/meachammusic J.D. Meacham

    Very introspective and true for the most part. You had me until you started comparing people to rocks…

  • Leaven

    I am a stripper whore and I definetley have seen it all. I have found that men love to throw their arogance around and make you fall to their standards of constant bull shit. They are disrespectful and full of themselves at any cost to any one that they feel are beneathe them and they use their money to see how far you will go and how many laughs they can get from you. They are cruel indivisuals that are normally on the DL they don’t respect them selves and are carrying several diseases including HIV and they don’t mind spreading it. Most men of power that I have met are jokes to me and to themselves. Men have no color scheme and they don’t care about how hard you work or the goals you are trying to accomplish they think their shit don’t stink, and they do it because they can.

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