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Baby… What Do You Think?

Wednesday Oct 1, 2008 – by

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Welcome to “Baby… What Do You Think?” where fashion faux pas are taken to task and sartorial excellence is championed! Clutch is crazy (like a fox!) for giving these two a forum to take their fashion commentary, usually delivered at home in front of the tv to each other and their Chihuahua named Angel, to the masses, saying exactly what you’re thinking, but are too couth and refined to say out loud! A Brooklyn-based couple, Filthy is a New York-born, loud mouth, aspiring music impresario with a penchant for Funkadelic, Barker Blacks and fancy ties and Kristy is a professional spindoctor with Southern roots, a vintage clothing junkie and an inherited shoe fetish.

?uestlove, Solange and Cassie
Kristy: Cassie STAYS forgetting her damn pants, man. But those shoes KINDA make up for it. That’s a good color for Solange, too – not feeling her shoes as much.
Filthy: Ugh, not this photo again… I had this sent to me enough last week when all the boys were drooling over it.
Kristy: You know ?uestlove designed those sneakers he’s wearing, right?
Thandie Newton
Kristy: This dress is origami gone wrong. Or a fancy table napkin.
Filthy: Is this her competitive ice skating ensemble?

Sanaa Lathan
Kristy: I’m loving this whole get-up The dress is beautiful and the color – which is THE fall color by the way – looks great on us brown gals. Big thumbs up.
Filthy: Yeah she looks beautiful, as usual.
Golden Brooks
Kristy: Is she wearing wax lips?
Filthy: And what’s going on with the back of this dress?
Kristy: I think she meant that dress to flatter her back, but with the belt it just makes her butt look flat and wide. Not a good combo.
Filthy: The top just looks unfinished, not flattering at all.
Kristy: We’ve been watching too much Project Runway.

Andre 3000 and John Legend
Kristy: First let me say, I love Andre with his country ass… dressed like a fly Bagger Vance. Second, why do their outfits match!? Are they starting a band?
Filthy: To all the readers that would like to donate to my wardrobe, please feel free to send me a couple of Benjamin Bixby pieces … That goes double for you Andre! Thanks!
Kristy: Ol’ beggin’ ass.
Vanessa and Angela Simmons
Kristy: HA! No seriously, what’s going on here?
Filthy: Wow, so many things are wrong .. Angela looks like a little girl playing dress up in the Olsen twins’ closet and Vanessa looks like she’s wearing a really bad Siouxsie Sioux Halloween costume.
Kristy: I don’t know how they pissed off their stylist, but dressing one like Elvira and the other in bulk fabric bin samples is just mean. You KNOW they think they’re fly right now, too.

Vanessa and Angela Simmons
Kristy: Vanessa looks like the princess from A Neverending Story here. Where’s Atreyu?
Filthy: Well at least it’s a step up from the playing dress up and goth queen outfits from the previous photo.
Kristy: Is it though?
Brandy Norwood
Kristy: Missy had the trash bag look on LOCK in the late 90s. Brandy… not so much.
Filthy: Yeah but it’s good to see that the shimmering skin, trademark smile and shocked eyebrows that we’ve all grown to love haven’t faded.

Lil’ Mama
Kristy: Are they bringing back Circus of the Stars? She looks like the ring master, the clowns and the trapeze act, all in one.
Filthy: She looks like a long lost Muppet.
Kristy: Named Hot Mess.
Melissa Ford
Filthy: Damn. Did she just wake up? Why does her face look so damn colorless?
Kristy: A shirt, duct tape and fishnets do not make an outfit.

Solange
Kristy: Where do we start?
Filthy: Why in the world would she want to look like some exotic bird? This is way too much.
Kristy: She looks like a goth Christmas bush. HATED IT!
Solange (2)
Kristy: In addition to being a singer, Solange is also a huge proponent of recycling. Note the dress she made of shredded magazines featuring her sister on the cover! YAY ECO FASHION!
Filthy: Who knew a paper shredder could be so chic!

André Leon Talley and Venus Williams
Kristy: He’s quietly judging her whole ensemble. Look at his face.
Filthy: I don’t know why, she actually looks cute… for her.
Kristy: And she’s thinking “Whatever dude, you’re carrying a purse and wearing rest home slides. Miss me with that attitude.”
Filthy: A patent leather purse at that.
Alexis Phifer
Filthy: Can we talk about the girl next to her? Homegirl’s cleavage and droopy face? What is seriously going on back there?
Kristy: I know, right! Alexis looks cute though… I wonder if Liberace knows she stole his bracelet?

Zoe Saldana
Kristy: Her dress looks like Silly Putty. I want to press it against a comics page to make it more interesting. BLAH.
Filthy: I didn’t know Zoe was Amish.
Ciara
Kristy: That’s interesting… this is her new, grown-up, sophisticated look, right?
Filthy: It’s her gala look? But again the golden shimmer makes it hard for me to hate, or in this case, be confused by the dress.
Kristy: It looks like a background set from The Wiz.

Rocsi
Filthy: Boring. Just like her.
Kristy: Ouch. I like the shoes?
Filthy: Yeah but take the shoes away and this is a regular cubicle outfit.
Melody Thornton
Kristy: Not much is sadder than a cute girl in a terrible outfit.
Filthy: She must be getting ready for her Charlie’s Angels audition.
Kristy: The pantsuit itself isn’t bad, but with the fedora and fringy saddle bag, she looks silly.

Tichina Arnold
Kristy: Why is she standing like that and why does her dress look like an Easter basket?
Filthy: She’s definitely in the middle of cursing someone out.
Kristy: Yup, her stylist.
Keri Hilson
Filthy: Keri Hilson is doing a trapeze act for Cirque De Soleil!?
Kristy: Nah, she was an extra in The 300, so she recycled the outfit… do chicks not realize shoes like that shorten their legs?

Estelle
Kristy: Something so chic about a woman in a white tuxedo. I wish her heels were a tad higher though. The pants don’t lay right.
Filthy: Yeah I dig this. Very Grace Jones/Annie Lennox.
Kristy: Viva androgyny!
Jill Marie Jones
Kristy: Cute retro outfit, though the shoes are boring and boatish. She’s smilin’ HELLA hard.
Filthy: Yeah that dress is perfect on her.

Serena Williams
Kristy: Dating Common is good for this gals wardrobe. She looks fly here and the dress is really flattering. He’s shown her “The Light!” Get it!?
Filthy: Is she really dating Common? I just heard a million hearts break.
Alek Wek
Kristy: As gorgeous as I feel this woman is, I can’t sign-off on this ensemble. Maybe separately, but as a unit? It looks like “No. Not today.”
Filthy: That bag is fresh though… even if it doesn’t go with what she’s wearing.
Kristy: Super models can do that, I guess.

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14 Comments – Add Yours

  1. avatar chichi says:
    October 1, 2008 at 7:07 am

    thanks for the update, but is Serena really dating common?
    cause I was one of the hearts breaking.

    ↑ Reply
  2. avatar esilenire says:
    October 1, 2008 at 10:15 am

    Filthy & Kristy—your commentary is spot on! I couldn’t agree with you more about Estelle needing a higher heel to offset the length of those pants. That’s a fashion pet peeve of mine: wearing shorter heels with long pants, or (the absolute worst) wearing pants that don’t fall down far enough to cover mid-heel!

    You two are gems!

    ↑ Reply
  3. avatar Lish says:
    October 1, 2008 at 10:40 am

    Lil mama is taking cues from T-pain??? Andre Leon Tally ugh…he’s always a tacky old man to me!

    ↑ Reply
  4. avatar Michelle says:
    October 1, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Lolzies — HATED IT!

    And three snaps in Z formation!!!

    ↑ Reply
  5. avatar jennife says:
    October 1, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    I love this feature! You guys are too much!

    ↑ Reply
  6. avatar Jasmina says:
    October 1, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    Ok, I finally broke my silence and laughed out loud HEARTILY at the Andre/Venus comments. I just reread and laughed again. I have a special place in my heart for Mr. Talley, but you were right on.

    ↑ Reply
  7. avatar angie says:
    October 1, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    GREAT & FUNNY AS ALWAYS!

    ↑ Reply
  8. avatar Yaya says:
    October 2, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    WHY does Ciarra ALWAYS look like a MAN who’s stylist is in the background screaming “SEXY DAAAHLING – SEXY!!!” If you ain’t got it, please go with what works – which is pop-lockin, non-sangin tomboy.

    ↑ Reply
  9. avatar ceecee says:
    October 3, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    I thought Ciara was Tyra, she’s posing like her.

    ↑ Reply
  10. avatar tremaine says:
    October 5, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    I swear I’m shedding hella calories by the second whilst reading the thoughts u guys have for these celebs and their “getups.”

    ↑ Reply
  11. avatar Clutch « LUV says:
    October 9, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    [...] “Baby… What do you Think” [...]

    ↑ Reply
  12. avatar Park Ave. says:
    October 9, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    I swear, Lil Mama reminds me of a lil girl who gets lost in a rich person’s closet. She doesn’t even run from the camera either, she stands right there. Maybe we can get a fashion doctor’s to prescribe her an outfit — she’ll just go to a boutique like a CVS pharmacy and pick it up.

    u|T|o

    ↑ Reply
  13. avatar Teina says:
    October 12, 2008 at 1:31 am

    You two are absolutely hilarious!

    ↑ Reply
  14. avatar Nai says:
    October 21, 2008 at 7:54 pm

    LMAO!!!!! SO OUT LOUD!!!! OMG!!!!

    ↑ Reply
  15. avatar D-Ski says:
    October 22, 2008 at 3:29 am

    Yes, Serenan and Common are “gettin it in” and it seems to be very serious with them. You two are brilliant in the observations….I swear the two of you need your own show!

    ↑ Reply
  16. avatar We’re Having A Baby | Poor Kid: Parenting & Children says:
    November 1, 2008 at 3:50 am

    [...] wear glasses. I’m sure some of you know this because of our main photo on “Baby … What Do You Think?” and it’s a very important part of how I found out about our pregnancy. Now I don’t wear [...]

    ↑ Reply

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