Funky Brown Chick

by Sky Obercam

Exactly who is the Funky Brown Chick? Twanna A. Hines: Multi-faceted world traveler; sociologist; writer; blogger and self proclaimed sexpot. As the sole owner and operator of FunkyBrownChick.com, Ms. Hines blogs about any and all things related to sex, dating and relationships with a sinfully clever playfulness that keeps us tuning in habitually. We recently got down with the funky brown to learn more about this wonderfully spicy Clutch fave, and of course, the dynamic woman behind it.


Twanna: FunkyBrownChick.com

Q: When and why did you launch FunkyBrownChick.com?
I’d just moved to NYC in April of 2005. At the time, I had a job at a small non-profit that wasn’t working out at all. So I quit, and took another job (that knew I wasn’t going to like either). I was also having trouble with my roommate at the time. After making so many sacrifices, I thought maybe I made the wrong decision to come to NY. I felt really low but I decided to just stick it out. I realized that [NYC] is my home for better or for worse. I had to make it work. So in June 2005, I started Funky Brown Chick to chronicle my experiences in NY.

Q: So It wasn’t a sex/dating/relationship blog from the beginning?
No. It was just about my life in New York, but a lot of that was dating. I was going out a lot when I first moved here, and I had all these crazy stories about the dates I went on.

Q: How has your blog changed since its inception?
It’s changed a lot through the years. I’m still the same person, but I’m no longer writing anonymously. I used to write under the name “Stoli” (short for Stolichnaya) which gave me freedom to speak a little more freely. Now as, Twanna A. Hines, everyone from my employers, family, church members (including my minister) reads my blog. I have to be a little more selective about what I say.

Q: What made you drop your alias and embrace your given name?
I “came out” when Nerve.com hired me to write about my dating life. When I found out I had to put a picture up, I knew someone would make the connection so I decided to tell my friends about it. Also, as “Stoli” I didn’t feel like I wasn’t being true to myself. I needed to meld the two. I understand why some [remain anonymous]. I can’t be as emotionally raw as I’d like to be at times, but I’m comfortable with the choice.

Q: By the way, what’s the A for?
My mom gave me my middle name, my dad my first, so I usually use both. Angela is for the civil rights activist Angela Davis. As far as my first name, my paternal grandmother is from the Skokomish tribe from the Pacific Northwest, also known as the Twana (but my name has 2 n’s).

Q: Sex, dating and relationships – have these topics always been of interest to you?
Totally. I didn’t loose my virginity until I was 22 years old. I was raised Southern Baptist, and I thought I wasn’t going to have sex until I got married. While growing up, no one ever talked to me about sex, period. Once I had sex, however, I realized it was a very natural thing, and there’s nothing wrong or evil about it. I did my degrees both undergrad & grad in Sociology. I’m fascinated with how people relate to each other. If someone asks you: “What did you do last night?” it’s ok to respond, “I went out, got drunk and threw up all over the place,” and people laugh. But if some one asks the same question and you respond, “My man cooked me dinner last night, gave me a massage and I orgasmed three times,“ people would say “Oh my God, What’s wrong with her! “TMI! TMI!” What’s wrong with talking about love, sex and relationships?

FBC is such a fun, juicy, yet informative source. Explain the creative genius behind the content.
I just sit down and write. I write my all my posts the morning of based on experiences in my daily life. The only thing that’s planned is “Manly Monday’s” – otherwise there’s no rhyme to it.

Q: Describe your most gratifying sexual encounter?
This music writer who was way too young for me (he was 22-23 and I was close to 30) was amongst a group of friends that were hanging out at my old place in Chicago. Towards the end of the night, I noticed him gazing at me from across the room, so when it was time to call it a night, he followed me into my bedroom and said “What do you want to happen?” I was shocked, so I said, “I said I don’t know, what could happen? “Then he started to kiss me. He took care of me before we even started to have sex. It was amazing! He really knew what he was doing. We went all night long, it was the best sex ever!

Q: In your blog you’ve mentioned a book you’ve been working on, tell us a little about that.
I have the frame; It’s a work in progress. I can’t really say what the message is at this point because it’s still forming but I can tell you that it’s a memoir.

Q: What’s your most shameful exploit?
I’ve never dated any of my bosses, but I have slept with people’s boyfriends – as long as there’s no ring and you’re not promised to someone else. Married men are hands off. Girlfriends come and go.

This one really got to me though, I went on a date with this guy and while I kept ordering wine, I noticed he continually ordered seltzer. So I asked him why aren’t you drinking? He told me couldn’t drink. He was an alcoholic. That was a lot to be thrown at me on for a first date. I had too much going on in my life. I couldn’t date an alcoholic too. So after the date, he called and emailed, and I never responded. But I did mention that “I’d never go out with that guy again” in my Nerve column. Unfortunately, he read it, along with thousands of other readers. I felt bad about that. There was a person on the other end of that [story]. In the end, I contacted him and apologized for not being open with him in the first place.

Q: Describe your dream man.
Well hung (laughs). I used to really like guys with accents, guys who work in non-creative fields like law or finance so we can balance each other out. Now I’m moving from “This guy looks really good and I just get horny looking at him” to thinking of someone who knows me, knows what I like – just a really decent human being that I could enjoy being around.

Q: Ok – now that we know a little about the kind of guy you’re looking for, tell us: What would make you kick this guy to the curb?
Lying. If I can’t trust you, we have nothing. Also, if I feel worse after spending time with him, he’s out. I should feel good or better after spending time with someone.

Q: African American culture, like U.S. culture in general, is by and large fairly conservative. Has this ever been an obstacle for you as the FBC?
I had to stop caring about what other people think. That’s the quickest way to be unhappy. I never fit into anyone’s box. If you read my blog you’ll find many things that conservatives would disapprove of. I’m just me. I’m not saying you have to be like me. I’m not even saying you have to like me. I‘m just saying this is who I am and I’m ok with that.

Q: What do you love most about sex?
Touch. I have a very high need for touch. I love when people touch me, I love touching people, and I love kissing.

Q: Being Twanna A. Hines, The Funky Brown Chick certainly has its rewards; describe them, as well as some of the challenges.
Best part about being FBC is that it’s me %100. Whether I’m church, with my friends or at work, I am Twanna Hines, Funky Brown Chick.

Challenges, well not a lot of guys want to go out on a date then read about it on a blog the next day. It makes it more difficult to date. Part of being me and being open is great but part of it is difficult because it’s uncomfortable for a lot of people – understandably so.

Q: What’s on the horizon for Twanna Hines, The Funky Brown Chick?
I don’t like to shut myself off from possibilities. Life’s more interesting when you leave the doors open. 5 years from now I could be living in Amsterdam again. If you’re open to it, you’ll never know what the future will bring.

  • http://www.cocoababies.com Nia

    I love it!

  • http://www.whowantsgossip.blogspot.com Erica

    I read funkybrownchick.com on the daily! Twanna’s blog is the one i start with every morning! Keep up the good work! I’m looking forward to hearing more about the book. I’m sure it will be a good read!

  • From Detroit

    I was having a good time until she said that she would sleep with people’s boyfriends, but no married men. WTF? Why not just avoid sleeping with men who are involved with other women PERIOD? As big as NYC is, I find it very difficult to believe that she cannot find a man who is not attached to another woman. Maybe Ms. Hines should think twice about participating in adultery and cheating, especially if one day she is on the opposite side. Very poor taste…

  • http://hissip.com hissip

    Thanks Clutch for another great interview. I haven’t had the chance to read all the Blogger Index profiles, but what I can say about this one, is that it’s one of the most introspective, personal ones I’ve read from the column/series.

  • Cree

    Yeah I was not feeling her on that sleeping with her friends boyfriends!
    And NO, friends don’t come and go in my opinion..associates maybe! But hey thats her thing.

    Otherwise, her interview was interesting.

  • http://thehappygoluckybachelor.blogspot.com Mike

    The women dates every race of man on the planet how the hell cant she find single man in NYC?

    And sleeping with your friends man?

    Thats cold blooded.

    YOU KNOW those are not black women she is doing that too, we wouldnt be hearing from her.

    Other than that it is an entertaining blog.

  • Pingback: FunkyBrownChick : My GF Sez

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