Why Are You Single?

The dating game is getting hard. There are so many of us who are beautiful, funny, educated, grounded, artistic and well-versed on many subjects, but for some reason most of us are still waiting for Mr. Right to walk in to our life. That is why your sisters at Clutch have decided to get to the root of this problem by talking to single men and women! At the same time highlighting them, while letting them vent on why they are single.

Name/Alias: Johan AKA TROUBLMan
Location: NY
Age: 26
Sign: Aquarius
Website: www.troubl.org

Clutch: So Johan . . . why are you single?
Johan: I’m single because I lost trust for my last girlfriend. It was long distance and our lines of communication started to fade. Once the trust was lost, I decided to cut things off.

Clutch: When was your last relationship and how long were you two together?
Johan: My last relationship ended in May. We were together for a year and a half.

Clutch: What do you look for in a woman?
Johan: Brains, ambition, imagination, audacity all wrapped in a positive attitude.

Clutch: What turns you off?
Johan: Fear — women who anticipate the worst from a man; women who carry their past pains into new relationships; women who accept what society tells them they are supposed to. Also, women with daddy issues. And lastly, women don’t think they’re too cute to do some grimy or rugged ish.

Clutch: When you take out a date, do you foot the bill or do you go dutch?
Johan: I foot the bill. I take pride in being a gentlemen.

Clutch: Where do you usually look or run into potential date material? (club, work, church, library)
Johan: Through friends or while I’m working.

Clutch: Have you ever dated outside your race and did you notice any differences?
Johan: If so, what? Yes. I’m a man of the world. The differences are minimal. Everyone has their own culture, but people are people.

Clutch: As a Black man, what do you love about Black women?
Johan: I love black women’s strength, their spunk, their inner sensitivity and of course their beauty.

Clutch: When you think of us (Black women), what’s the first three things that come to mind?
Johan: I think of the strength that black women have, holding down our communities and our young ones. I think of the natural beauty that black women posses. I think of the attitude black women have. I love it if it’s balanced with a genuine sensitivity.

Clutch: Do you have any physical requirements for a woman? (weight, body type)
Johan: No requirements.

Clutch: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Johan: Yes.

Clutch: How important is sex to you?
Johan: Sex is important, but it’s not the ultimate. Sex has a lot to do with chemistry. Chemistry is important.

Clutch: What advice would you give to a woman that’s single?”
Johan: If you want a King, be a Queen. This means have high standards for yourself. Accomplish big things. Demand respect.

Clutch: In your opinion, what makes a man want to settle down?
Johan: Peace. If a woman is a man’s peace he’ll always come home.

Clutch: Do you want to be attached or are you still in your “having fun” phase?
Johan: I’d like to have fun with someone I’m attached to.

Clutch: Do you believe in marriage? Do you plan on being married one day?
Johan: I believe in marriage. I plan on being married one day.

Clutch: What’s the one mistake you think women and men make in relationships?
Johan: Trying to change another. Instead of seeing the person for who they are we see who we want them to be and then get upset for them not living up to our assumptions of them. Also, people not trusting fully and guarding their heart because they’re afraid of being hurt.

Clutch: Any crazy relationship stories? (stalking, busting windows, etc)
Johan: Of course, but I’d rather not tell.

Clutch: Describe the perfect date.
Johan: We’d start off with a late lunch. After we’d hit a museum or a play so I can gauge her patience and interest in worldly things. Next we change clothes, do dinner, one because I like to eat and also because I like conversation. From dinner we’d go dancing.

Clutch: Do you date women with children? Why or why not?
Johan: I do. Just because someone has a kid doesn’t count them out. Plus a lot of the time kids make people grow up.

Clutch: When dating, how important are her family values to you?
Johan: To me family values come down to loyalty.

Clutch: Are you a man scorned?
Johan: I’ve had my feeling hurt before, but I’m definitely not scorned. I judge people off of their actions not my previous relationships.

Clutch: Do you think the reason you’re single is because of unrealistic standards or possibly your personality?
Johan: A lil’ bit of both. I’m a King, so I want a Queen. I love smart, opinionated women who aren’t afraid to admit when they’re wrong. That’s hard to find. Also, my personality plays a part. I’m very personable and somehow I also get jealous women. Plus my time is distributed among many people.

Clutch: Are you accepting date proposals?
Johan: Yes.

If you are interested in learning more about Johan please email us at single@clutchmagazine.com.