Home (Not So) Sweet Home

Having people over is something that can be relaxing, inexpensive, fun and an overall bonding experience. It’s cozy being at home, especially during the cold winter months and cooking a large meal and having friends over for a heated challenge of Taboo is always hilarious.

I miss these social gatherings and since I’ve lived in my apartment I haven’t had too many get-togethers. I know there are some people who don’t really like the idea of having company, but it truly does make me happy to roast a whole chicken and have people in my presence. The upsetting part about it all is the reason why I don’t have people over, and when I think about it, it really makes me want to scream! My dilemma is I don’t know where to begin with decorating my home (insert sad face), but no seriously, I’m really frustrated!

Aside from having my own room growing up (and not even my whole childhood, this didn’t come until high school) and my dorm room in college, this is really my first home that I have had to buy furniture for and fully decorate on my own.

Every time I go to someone’s house I’m always trying to take a mental note of creative things they do so that I can go home and try to recreate them, but in the end I get scared and feel like I can’t recreate things on my own. In my living room I have a couch, a lamp that is causing me to squint right now as I’m typing and a coffee table. In my bedroom I have a bed and a dresser. There is nothing on my walls, no rugs; I have a clear shower curtain, everything is so boring. I hear people complaining about lack of space and having too many things, but my issue is actually the exact opposite, I have plenty of unused space.

For some reason I feel like this is interfering with my mind a little bit, because they say that your home should be your sanctuary and while I do feel comfortable and relieved when I open my front door, take off my shoes and begin to strip, what I really long for is to walk in my apartment and love what I see. I want to feel like my apartment says who I am and has a true voice, because all it’s saying right now is “somebody add some life and color to me.”

I watch home makeover shows trying to get ideas and sometimes I even imagine them knocking on my door and telling me I need to go on vacation until they finish fixing my place up for me, and then I cry when they tell me how hideous my couch is and how I will be so much happier with the new one they will buy me. But then I snap out of it because this surely isn’t going to happen. So I guess you could call this my cry for help. If you have any ideas, pictures, personal stories or just words of encouragement PLEASE share. It’s a new year and time to make quite a few changes, my living environment being at the top of the list.