He Matches My Fly: How to Find Guys that Match your Personality & Lifestyle.

Tuesday Mar 24, 2009 – by Sky Obercam

84552004 If you haven’t figured this out by now, one of the most futile mistakes a woman can make, is to think she can mold the man that she digs into her perfect mate. The plain and simple fact is that you can’t change anyone accept yourself. So when searching for a man, it’s imperative that you make an unwavering effort to find a guy who compliments your personality, values and lifestyle.

While it may be tempting to view certain men as a work in progress, it’s more important to seek out fellas who are ‘complete’, meaning they meet you more than halfway in terms of matching your fly. How, you may ask, do you find the right fit? Two crucial ideas come to mind. You stand a good chance finding “Mr. Right Up My Alley” by attending activities and events that peak your interest. Are you obsessed with a healthy lifestyle? Then your perfect mate may be found at your gym, or local organic produce store. If you’re more of the chill type who prefers reading and watching films, a reading of your favorite author or film festival could be an excellent place to “shop” for your potential mate.

Many of us may be too busy with work and family to get out as much as we like, which makes the Internet an ideal means to find a guy that matches your fly. Online dating sites may be rife with unsavory fellows, but there are also some really great guys on the look out as well. One of the key things to remember when using any method in your quest for a partner is to drop the desperation. Hold your values, interests and standards firm, and never compromise for the sake of having a companion. Set your intention: To meet a “complete” man who is on you your level, and have no reservations. Once that happens, you’ll know you’ve found the perfect match.

Ainz Neal says:

March 25, 2009 at 12:03 am

This was a good read, and your right also don’t pick a dude and then try to change him it won’t never work.

↑ Reply

Talysha says:

March 25, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Very good article. So many women need to read this and take the time to find a guy who complements them. It’s important for us to find a “complete” man, not one who will complete us. That is one reason why so many relationships fail, we’re too busy searching for someone to complete us rather than being a complete person on our own. Being complete and at peace with one’s self ensures that if the relationship doesn’t last, you will be able to move on and continue living as the “whole” person you are. Also, I believe that it is imperative for us to exude the qualities that we want in a mate, therefore we can truly say, “he matches my fly.”

ceecee says:

March 25, 2009 at 4:55 pm

“You stand a good chance finding “Mr. Right Up My Alley” by attending activities and events that peak your interest.”

I guess sleeping or shopping won’t help… :|

Nelly says:

March 26, 2009 at 7:31 am

“…you can’t change anyone except for yourself.”

It is important that once you’ve arrived to your favorite scouting grounds to sieze the opportunity of connecting with potentials… the popular suggestion by men that, “women should be more aggressive,” comes into play. You may elect to speak first, seek eye contact, or the not so subtle nudge or proximity advance(get close).

A quality question about what your potential is “shopping for” is a great ice breaker to conversation and much more…

be creative, be open, watch your body language, and remember – jeans and a t-shirt or sweat pants does not limit your flyness. Guys have been checkin out females for years, we know a good thing when it passes by!

-Lunatiq

Nikia says:

March 26, 2009 at 6:33 pm

I completely agree with Talysha about being complete yourself…but I’ll take it a step further…sometimes we put too much emphasis on someone completing us or us completing them….lets just find mates that COMPLIMENT us….& vice versa…

March 26, 2009 at 6:37 pm

& please disreguard the avatar…theres a site I frequent where we all have off the wall pictures & things that are inside jokes…LOL

naj says:

March 30, 2009 at 9:08 am

Clutch does it again! I swear I just had this same convo with my friends over the weekend.
Also someone who completes your flyness at the right time is key–you may find him–but at the wrong time–yikes!!!!!!!

Iniqua says:

March 31, 2009 at 1:17 am

Amen! thank you for such a thoughtful and intelligent perspective on the dating scene. I really appreciated the part of dropping the desperation and sticking to your standards! Thank you Clutch for not being like other “mags” out there selling cheap tricks to get in a relationship which ultimately waters down the essence of what a true relationship is–two people on the SAME level pursuing life together. This makes for a truely well-based relationship for love to flourish.