What’s in a Name?
Congratulations – you’re having a baby! Now through all the changes going on with your life and body (ugh!), you’ve got a grand task ahead of you: Whatever will we name this little bundle of joy?
For many families, a baby name is the least of anyone’s concerns during this exciting time. It was decided long ago that you and your spouse would keep the family tradition going strong by passing on the names of your elders. [Sidenote: Both of my middle names belong to my grandmothers, so I’m all too familiar with this one.] Or perhaps you’ll just take the safe route. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with another little Ashley or Brittany, Justin or Anthony – right? I guess.
But for others, the naming process is the time to finally express one’s innermost most creative desires. The world is yours and you’ve made up your mind that you’re gonna get funky with it! If your baby is going to be the superstar that you always dreamed of becoming, he or she will have to have a name that sets them apart from the rest. Uh huh, they’re going to be unique, alright.
Sometimes, though, things don’t turn out so great. Not for the child, at least. Here are a few common “uh-oh” errors that occur in our community when it comes to naming our newborns.
The 7 [Potentially] Deadly Sins of Baby Naming:
Now on a more serious note, as entertaining as the conversation of baby names can get, the social implications of these decisions are very serious and long lasting. Keep in mind that your child will have to spell this name everyday for the rest of their life. Is it something that can be sounded out, or even remembered for that matter? Also, I’m sure you remember your grade school days. Children are very cruel, so let’s hope we’re not giving our kids a name that will make them the constant subject of humility and shame. And of course, as little boys and girls become grown men and women, they will need to find a job. Will this name be the cause for instant résumé rejection or discrimination in the workplace? Some things to think about.
We all know that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover – or title, in this case. But the sad truth is: people do it everyday. If you or anyone else you know has been set up in the name game, let’s stop the cycle here and help a baby out! They’ll appreciate you for it in the long run.
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Congratulations Tanyetta. What a wonderful and precious gift! Have fun and let it come from the heart. No matter what decision you make, there will be people in the wings ready to judge you. Please remember, you are your child’s first example of how and who to be. Be confident in your decision and you baby will have no other option but to follow suit. Have fun and love with reckless abandon!
To Clutch and Chelsea Smith, thank you this wonderful conversation. To the
readers and commentors, take a little minute to google “name discrimination.” Among the first links to come up…..”How it Affects Job, Career Choices, Life Status, and Overall Success.” And there are others that go on and on, some of which were prompted by lawsuits when folks did not even get to set foot in door to show how well groomed and articulate he/she might be. I respect every opinion I’ve read here and more importantly, I respect your right to make choices, but there are some cold realities and statistics (as evidenced by research) that demonstrates that the world is not as warm and fuzzy as we would like or imagine it to be.
P.S. These are some of the most impressive and well-reasoned, for the most part, comments on a blog (on both sides of the issue) that I’ve ever seen. Love you all, and continue to “write on.”
i think that we should re-evaluate what’s really in a name..I mean, can we say “Barack Hussein Obama”, really, let’s not get too caught up in pleasing others to stay “in-line”, our “creative” names can equal success just as much as the Ashleys, Jennifers, and Bobs.
Naming…what an interesting and sensitive topic. I once heard that teenage girls spend more time on the topic of naming their future children than thinking about the future dad. As you can see I share the same spelling as another reader not sure if the same pronunciation (Juh-nay) I used to love my name but the older I get not so much. What I loved about my name was the uniqueness of it but as I get older I am seeing so many variations of the name it is boring. I think that is what is going on with all the different names, the parents are aiming for something unique and different as all parents like to think of their child. Me personally I feel it is the parents perogative. I just would like for the parents to follow the rules of the English language. I know technically you can’t misspell a name if it’s your creation but come on Antoine is not pronounced An-tone; Knik is not Ka-neek.
naming your child is a very serious matter and shouldn’t be entered into selfishly or lightly. what’s cute or cool to you now, may not be so cute to your child. the name should be a badge of honor and pride, not shame and/or constant mispronunciation and confusion. we had our baby in November and toiled over what his name would be up until a few hours before he was born.
ultimately, it took seeing his beautiful face for us to finally settle on a name, one that wasn’t even among the 4 we had on reserve! it came to my honey during my labor as he was mentally begging any deity out there who would listen to bring me some relief. now, our little man is happy, healthy and will soon know that that noise we’re constantly making is his direction is actually his name. ;) and the story of his naming is pretty cool so we look forward to sharing that with him.
Let’s be real here. There is a major difference between an “ethnic” name and a “ghetto” one. Ethnic names have meanings in their respective cultures and languages. Barack Hussain, Chukwuemeka, Anawara Aana all have meanings in their respective cultures. These people just sound like they ain’t from ’round here. But Aquanetta, Quafaisha, Toilet(pronounced Toi-lay) and Rosemica sound just plain ghetto. Unfortunately, most people still equate Black, ghetto, vulgar and unintelligent as one and the same. That is why people with made up “ghetto” names encounter the most difficulties. Whether that is right or wrong is moot. The reality is unless they are at the top of their class, the will face a lot more discrimination than people with normal(anglicized) or ethnic (ain’t from ’round here) names.
If you want a unique name or a name that reflects your culture, then give the kid an African name. If you want something that sounds pretty try a Polynesian name. They sound pretty and at least they mean something. Or just put the unique name as the middle name and chose something else as the first. When you are at home you can call the kid the unique name, but the kid will have a better chance.
I seriously doubt anyone will have the opportunity to read this, but I’ll post anyway…
To the last three post’s and Edie specifically, the bigger point that I am trying to make is that people are discriminated against for even less. Remember when it was your SKIN tone that made you a vile, dispicable creature? Remember when you were written out of society, history, the constitution, the bible? It didn’t take much to make you one quater of a human being. Do you remember what we did in response? We rose from the dead (yeah, he was black), we built monumental structures that housed and commemorated our deceased, the pyramids. We succeeded in business, had our own ‘Wall Street’ in Tulsa,OK long before we dominated sports and entertainment. We sat down in the front of buses, we walked and had dreams. Despite years of oppression, and mental degradation we have survived. Unfortunately, our capacity to blindly LOVE one another has disipated incredibly. You mean to tell me a NAME, someone else’s name, which does not affect anyone on this post personally, is YOUR biggest problem? Because someone else cant get a job, or will be looked at by others funny, YOU have a problem? Why? How does it affect you? What does it do to you for someone else’s name to have 5 syllables and begin with the letter Q? Nothing… at all!
Now, with all the energy it took to be mean, to ridicule another person’s CHOICE, wouldn’t it have been easier to get to know the aformentioned people of which we speak, and perhaps find out their personal history? Why they are were named as such? Perhaps even influence them in a positive way? You may learn something, or even gain a friend.
You all have valid points, albeit MEAN. I think that is the major point the that I don’t agree with, the meaness. Who cares what others think about us, what we name our children, how we look. Be yourself, love yourself, and try your best to love others.
And Janee, like you, my name is pronounced like Renee with a J. I have always loved my name because my mom breathed life into my existence long before I was conceived. If my name has a meaning, it is totally coincidental. My mom feels she ‘created’ my name one afternoon long ago as a teenager. I appreciate my mother’s ingenuity in naming me. She could’ve been lees lucky, but I think her intentions were right on point.
If this is the last post, I hope it falls on tender ears and heart. I hope people learn to have more toerance and love for one another if nothing else. Be well… it was a pleasure sharing with you all.
Janee Michele
Be mindful folks! It’s not YOUR name. Its your child’s who has to grow up and live with it. Don’t give them anything that can hurt them.
Ma Red: “he’ll be 94 with youngblood. I’m through explaining to folks. I’m stuck on these names. Abbie is too plain for me, but works as nickname”
That’s the point!! Abbie may be too plain for YOU, but this is not about YOU. It should be about your child. Alot of people work under this idea that their children are extensions of themselves, but they are not. You are merely a vessel. I say, if you child turns out to be as artistic and creative as you, then let them change their name to be something more unique. However, don’t start them off that way! Those developmental years are far too important for an innocent child to spend them defending ideas that they cannot possibly understand until it’s too late.
Let you children find their own way. Don’t label them before they get a chance to figure it out.
I just had a baby boy in February. His name is Justin Xavier (Justin after his father). So be it if I am contributing to “common” names of the world. I almost went the unique name route. I was extremely close to naming my son Romeo, and am glad that I chose otherwise. I honestly think it is a person’s personality that makes him unique, not his name. Having a unique name might make one’s child stand out, but not always for a good reason.
for those of you who don’t know why our community began giving our children such unusual name. i once read it was an attempt to reclaim ethnic identity, after centuries of ethnic names being removed and replaced with euro names during captivity, but it has gotten out of control due to the fact extremely illiterate and uneducated individuals are naming their children after any and everything regardless of the origin, erectile disfunction medication or a vehicle they will never own even see in person. unfortunately for the name mercedes, which was a common name for germany girls long before the car company existed, (infact the car was named for the creators daughter)it is now ghetto-not-so-fab!!! my little sis is having a baby girl and is going to give her some god awful name. i am so glad my father prevented my mother from naming me peaches!!!! now done get me wrong there is nothing wrong with a unique name, infact i encourage it, but their is a difference between unique and absurd!! i believe your name partially effects who you become, i have never met a doctor, lawyer,professor, or rocket scientist named bonquesha!!! i think it should have been a heads up when these names became the butt-end of lame mad tv jokes!!!
“i am so glad my father prevented my mother from naming me peaches!!!!” LOL
you are funny and Solange middle name is “Plaget” what in the french creole hell!!!!!
A name is for life. Got to make sure its right.
WHATEVER! I am thankfully (and regretfully) apart of an extremely small-minded bunch who refuse to think independently.
Best of everything, and go with God!