So You Wanna Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents?

Accept who they are, don’t try to change them. Just because your folks may not do and say the things you may need them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all their heart. Try to accept their brand of love, and be willing to speak out when and if their unique style causes you personal harm. It’s also important to remember that the only person you can change is yourself.

Keep realistic expectations for you and your loved ones. Strive develop to a healthier state of mind; the rest will surely follow. You may not be able to forget their indiscretions, but in time, you may be able to forgive your parents for the hurts they may have caused. Try healing a relationship with resentment in your heart. It’s a no win situation – period. It’s very critical to create boundaries in any healthy relationship, and parents are no exception to that rule.

Deciding when and how to spend time with them, and the type of information to share is key when developing, and maintaining, a positive bond. If you know your mom, dad or grandparent blames everything on you, you may want to avoid telling her about the argument you just had with your sibling, or significant other, unless you’re just in the mood to have your heart broken.

Understand your intentions and don’t give into guilt. Sometimes when our loved ones catch wind of our attempt to build a healthy relationship, they tend to put their ‘annoying’ tendencies on full blast, so to speak. Just remember your true purpose: To sustain a lasting, loving relationship. Take their inevitable guilt trips with a grain of salt. If you are lucky enough to get things on track, they’ll be grateful for it, and of course, so will you.