What’s Wrong With The “Nice Guy”?

OK. I tried to avoid presenting a relationship-oriented piece this Friday, but when I stumbled upon an amusing article from Yahoo personals, I couldn’t resist. I have one question: Ladies, what is up with the “nice guy”? In other words, what is it about us that have such a difficult time embracing the good guy (Mr. Right) vs. the not-so good guy (Mr. Wrong)?

I’ll use myself for example. I had this great friend in college. Handsome, smart, focused, honest, just an all around good guy. He liked me – but always treated me with respect, and never took advantage of, or exploited, my trust in him. While I recognized all these wonderful traits in my dear friend, he never managed to get my juices flowing. Even the thought of trying to get romantic with the fella put one of those automatic expressions on my face – you know the one that looks like you just imagined something really monstrous.

Looking back, I have to wonder why I could barely fathom the idea of getting serious with such a great guy. Was I too immature to be with a guy that upstanding? Did I develop too much brotherly love for ole boy? Or does the scintillating rush of dating a dude with an edge trump the security that an honorable trustworthy gentleman can provide?

The piece that inspired this particular tirade stated these four reasons for why cats like my buddy – we’ll call him “Mike” – may have a harder time getting involved than the guys who are officially classified as jerks:

1. He’s so nice, he can only be a friend
2. He’s so nice, he’s not challenging enough
3. He’s so nice, he’ll always be there
4. He’s too nice, you can’t trust him

Somewhere within my dating lifespan, I’ve been able to relate to all of these excuses reasons, but numbers 2 and 3 speak to me the most. I think nice guys are supreme, trust me, but please don’t bore me to death. Cop an attitude from time to time, or let’s have a healthy debate, because there’s nothing more annoying than a yes man (or a desperate one, for that matter). And to point #3, I admit being guilty of making the mistake of thinking that the nice guy will always be there when once you realize that the not-so nice guys aren’t worth the energy it takes to even look their way. Case in point: My dear friend “Mike” is now happily married to a woman who hopefully recognizes how lucky she is.

At the end of the day, you’re going to like whoever turns you on. Navigating the dating scene can be stressful, but it can also be an excellent means for you to discover who you are and the kind of man who will compliment you. So next time you’re faced with the debate as to whether you should give the nice guy the time of day, take a little extra time to consider the outcome.

And…..Happy Friday Clutchettes!