84373551YouTube, is another one of my favorite sites to check out natural hair styles, products etc. The following are summaries of natural women talking about the types of men they now attract since they have begun wearing their hair natural. Check out their videos to get the full effect of their experiences.

Erin creator of Naturally Scandalous and Scandalous Beauty

Erin says she now attracts men who are artsy, cool, calm and collected. She describes them as ‘Dwele type guys’ – guys who have a swag that is not definable, “… they’re on a whole different level.” She says that what puts a smile on her face is when she meets a guy and somewhere in the conversation he says, your hair is beautiful. She calls that a “ding, ding, ding, moment”. Erin thinks that the fact that a man is attracted to natural hair, has a good heart and spirit, and sees a women for who she is is a beautiful thing.

IntlNC

IntlNC aka Andrea, says that she attracts men depending on how she feels about herself. She doesn’t know if it really has anything to do with hair, but says attraction is internal. When she feels insecure, she attracts men who are insecure; when she is confident, likewise, she attracts confident men. Andrea says that going natural was an internal process which changed her into a more confident person, and therefore “the quality of men in my life have definitely improved.”

Veronica Miller creator of Blessed and Highly Textured

Veronica says she has yet to attract the deeper, artistic, Dwele-type men, but does attract men old enough to be her father. She also attracts guys who are more open-minded about beauty – their taste in women is broad and goes across the spectrum. When she straightens her hair, which is not often, she gets more attention, but doesn’t want someone who doesn’t like her natural hair. She tells of an ex-boyfriend who called her Sideshow Bob when she wore her hair in it’s natural state, and would only compliment her when she straightened it. She likes when guys tell her that her straightened hair is nice, but they like it curly better.

Brwnbrbie24

In Brown Barbie’s 2008 video she talks about going out with a friend who looks like her, same build, features etc., and how her friend who wears straight, long weaves gets more attention from men than she does. She describes it as ‘crickets chirping’ regarding the attention she gets. She says she does get compliments, but they are few and far between.

She doesn’t understand how people can dislike features that are natural. Just because she chooses not to chemically alter her hair, she’s looked at as beneath women who relax and/or weave their hair. Nor does she understand how men can have issues with natural hair when they and their sons have it, “… to me, that seems like self hate.”

Krystall 72578

In Krystall’s response to Erin’s video she says that she also attracts a different “breed of men”. She says that men approach her with more respect. She stated that she met her husband when she had a perm and now even he seems to have more respect for her. She says that her husband now notices and points out other naturals when they are out, and that he realizes its rare and beautiful and has a lot of respect for it.

2Kurly4U

In 2Kurly’s 2008 video she says that she received more compliments when her hair was shorter because it was curly, but as it grew out she got less compliments, attributing this to men liking curly styles versus frizzy ones. She feels the bigger issue is society and the media which both play a role in shaping the way beauty is defined i.e. images of black women with long, straight hair.

2Kurly’s husband chimes in and agrees that men have been ‘duked’/misguided with such images. He advises naturals “to keep doing what you’re doing”. “I’m a real man and I’ve got a real woman – naps and all, and I love it,” he says.

Naturally4us creators of Naturally4us.com

Carmen of Naturally4us says that women need to build-up their own self esteem and she has her two sons weigh in. One, a former barber says that he has seen the effects of perm damage and advises women to find a natural style that fits them and makes them feel good.

Her other son, says he understands how naturals must feel when they are not looked upon by men in the same way as those who wear their hair straight. He also believes that it’s all about self confidence and advises women not to change their hair for men, “do it for yourself … the right brother will come along that will appreciate you for who you are.”

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  • Kat

    @ms.jal–
    At least I can say that I know how to work my natural hair!

    I was sick of the perms and burns and my mother’s insistance of getting them. I was 19 when I got my last perm (I’m 25 now). I had burns so bad and I decided I wasn’t going to go thru that torture anymore. I cut my hair and let it grow. I was surprised at my natural hair. It is thick and wavy (I have 3b/3c hair). I really didn’t need to torture it at all. Just wash and wear! I get a lot of compliments from everyone, esepcially women who come up to me and ask where I get my hair done, cos it looks like I had rods put in (I tell them apolgetically that it’s my natural look! no rods!)

    Men esepcially want to touch my hair. I dunno why it facinates them. My hair is more big than long, grr. I guess on my good days, the Shirley Temple look gets to them, haha.

    I do have haters that call me Sideshow Bob, but they’re just jealous that I can just hop out of bed, throw some water on my head, shake it out and I’m done. :)

  • I had just beyond shoulder length relaxed hair for most of my life. Durin a brief stint I shaved it off and kept it very close to my hair because I worked upwards of 50-60 hours per week in a kitchen then grew it back out to the same shoulder length straight mass… I was in a relationship at the time with someone who just wanted my hair neat… (I believe he secretly liked it long though) LOL

    Several years back I opted to stop relaxing but kept pressing my hair. Last December I decided to get sisterlocks. The backlash was horrible “Why would you do that to your pretty hair?” as if pretty was only straight.

    I don’t know that the caliber of men that I attract is any different. It runs the gamut as always.

  • Christine

    Great article. As a natural black woman growing dreads, I can certainly relate to the other comments. I get hit on by black men, but usually they are men who are too young, or waaay older than me. But the response from black men, seems to be more positive. As far as white men, I noticed I seem to attract more vocally blunt white men who seem to think that they can say anything to me for some reason. And it’s usually sexual. The response from white men for me has always been mixed. It almost seems as if the white men are looking at me as some sort of exotic rare piece of meat or something. And they usually turn out to be men who usually don’t date black women.

  • Loquacious_

    I have natural hair and I didn’t attract the “Dwele or Maxwell type.” I attracted white men. I will have white men and white women tell me that they like my natural hair more than when it is pressed straight. It’s funny, when I went to a job interview for a staff attorney position in a non-profit law firm, I wore my afro. It was fluffed and big. Three people interviewed me, two attorneys that were white and one paralegal that was black. After the interview, the black paralegal pulled me to the side and told me that I would have to straighten my hair if I got a job offer. In the second interview, I asked the white attorney if my hair would be a problem or a distraction because I wanted to wear it natural and they were shocked by my question. The white folks didn’t notice that my hair was natural, they said, “we just see hair. We didn’t think there was anything distracting about it.”

    It is a shame that some black people (emphasis on the word “some”) see hair and then the person while some white folks see just the person.

  • von

    honestly i get more flack about my natural 4a/b hair from black women than men. When i wear it in a huge fro or afro puff they always assume i never get my hair done when in actuality i wear it straight, twisted, weaved up, braided etc. They think because i dont have “good hair” i should not have went natural. Which sometimes makes me mad. Like one time a woman with natural hair that was wavy (what some people would call “good hair”)asked me why dont i just perm my hair. Most men on the other hand ask me can they touch it and seem amazed by it. I guess some men are turned off by it but i wouldnt want someone that shallow to approach me anyway. At the end of the day i love my “nappy hair” and thats all that matters to me!