84373551YouTube, is another one of my favorite sites to check out natural hair styles, products etc. The following are summaries of natural women talking about the types of men they now attract since they have begun wearing their hair natural. Check out their videos to get the full effect of their experiences.

Erin creator of Naturally Scandalous and Scandalous Beauty

Erin says she now attracts men who are artsy, cool, calm and collected. She describes them as ‘Dwele type guys’ – guys who have a swag that is not definable, “… they’re on a whole different level.” She says that what puts a smile on her face is when she meets a guy and somewhere in the conversation he says, your hair is beautiful. She calls that a “ding, ding, ding, moment”. Erin thinks that the fact that a man is attracted to natural hair, has a good heart and spirit, and sees a women for who she is is a beautiful thing.

IntlNC

IntlNC aka Andrea, says that she attracts men depending on how she feels about herself. She doesn’t know if it really has anything to do with hair, but says attraction is internal. When she feels insecure, she attracts men who are insecure; when she is confident, likewise, she attracts confident men. Andrea says that going natural was an internal process which changed her into a more confident person, and therefore “the quality of men in my life have definitely improved.”

Veronica Miller creator of Blessed and Highly Textured

Veronica says she has yet to attract the deeper, artistic, Dwele-type men, but does attract men old enough to be her father. She also attracts guys who are more open-minded about beauty – their taste in women is broad and goes across the spectrum. When she straightens her hair, which is not often, she gets more attention, but doesn’t want someone who doesn’t like her natural hair. She tells of an ex-boyfriend who called her Sideshow Bob when she wore her hair in it’s natural state, and would only compliment her when she straightened it. She likes when guys tell her that her straightened hair is nice, but they like it curly better.

Brwnbrbie24

In Brown Barbie’s 2008 video she talks about going out with a friend who looks like her, same build, features etc., and how her friend who wears straight, long weaves gets more attention from men than she does. She describes it as ‘crickets chirping’ regarding the attention she gets. She says she does get compliments, but they are few and far between.

She doesn’t understand how people can dislike features that are natural. Just because she chooses not to chemically alter her hair, she’s looked at as beneath women who relax and/or weave their hair. Nor does she understand how men can have issues with natural hair when they and their sons have it, “… to me, that seems like self hate.”

Krystall 72578

In Krystall’s response to Erin’s video she says that she also attracts a different “breed of men”. She says that men approach her with more respect. She stated that she met her husband when she had a perm and now even he seems to have more respect for her. She says that her husband now notices and points out other naturals when they are out, and that he realizes its rare and beautiful and has a lot of respect for it.

2Kurly4U

In 2Kurly’s 2008 video she says that she received more compliments when her hair was shorter because it was curly, but as it grew out she got less compliments, attributing this to men liking curly styles versus frizzy ones. She feels the bigger issue is society and the media which both play a role in shaping the way beauty is defined i.e. images of black women with long, straight hair.

2Kurly’s husband chimes in and agrees that men have been ‘duked’/misguided with such images. He advises naturals “to keep doing what you’re doing”. “I’m a real man and I’ve got a real woman – naps and all, and I love it,” he says.

Naturally4us creators of Naturally4us.com

Carmen of Naturally4us says that women need to build-up their own self esteem and she has her two sons weigh in. One, a former barber says that he has seen the effects of perm damage and advises women to find a natural style that fits them and makes them feel good.

Her other son, says he understands how naturals must feel when they are not looked upon by men in the same way as those who wear their hair straight. He also believes that it’s all about self confidence and advises women not to change their hair for men, “do it for yourself … the right brother will come along that will appreciate you for who you are.”

  • http://www.whoisrafe.com Raf

    I’m a man who appreciates sisters w/ relaxed hair. . . but a sister rocking natural hair or lack thereof just does it for me (I’m talking to you Nazri Segaro and Tracey Moore!) Maybe its the aesthetics, or just the concept of a woman comfortable enough with her image to buck the norm (Janelle Monae for instance).

    http://tinyurl.com/m7x8nw
    http://tinyurl.com/nucca5
    http://tinyurl.com/naqqjk

    But to quote Andre 3k “Oh i just oh i wanna lay in her hair… “

  • RObleu

    Thank you Clutch for posting this article. Based on my experience attracting men when I wore my hair straightened or natural, there is a definite difference in the type of guys that I attracted. However the same can be said about the type of outfit a woman wears. As a person who doesn’t plan to EVER straighten her hair in the near future, I had to come to the realization that my hair in its natural state as well as my desire to flaunt it is a part of my identity that any future partner of mind has to accept and appreciate.

  • RObleu

    I would also like to pose a question for the ladies: Do you find that you attract more white when you wear your hair natural or when its straightened?

  • http://www.besoulfullyunique.com Alaina

    Nice Laquita! I think who you attract also depends on where you live. Here in Minnesota( the land of milk and honey, if you get my drift), when i was wearing my hair natural (I say was because underneath these extensions it’s still natural, so I’m still in the game folks, just on vacation) I would attract just like Veronica stated older men INSTEAD of the preferable Dwele types which there aren’t many of here in Minneapolis.

    @RObleu- Up here, sistas don’t really get the opportunity to date white men whether they’d want to or not. We are world famous for our interracial dating, but that’s brothers with white women and anyone else but the sisters. Come check it out! ; ) Here a mass majority of our sistas NATURAL or not, are single, if they can’t get a brother. White men don’t often approach us up here.

  • http://www.myspace.com/chorizo4lif Melanie

    aye yi yi…why the need to refer to “Dwele-type men?” Does anyone actually know what type of women Dwele likes? Or is the author assuming that Dwele is is an example of the wide stereotype that the people who puportedly listen to his music like women with natural hair?

    Two things can be gleaned from the personal experiences of the women above: i) that girls with straight hair seem to get more attention, and ii) that girls with natural hair attract more “quality” men. We all know why #1 happens. We’ve (as in all americans) have been conditioned to think that white is the standard of beauty, especially when it comes to hair. As for #2, I would venture to say that the men appear to be of a higher “quality” i.e., more introspective, intellectual, etc., because they are probably more educated, aware of the inferior beauty standard, and of the standards and stereotypes that they, themselves are subjected to, and work hard to overcome them.

    For me, this is the key: “she attracts men depending on how she feels about herself. She doesn’t know if it really has anything to do with hair, but says attraction is internal.” I think it’s really sad that we have to categorize ourselves those who go “natural” and “unnatural.” Ironically, the confidence factor, I believe, is in extricably linked to the stereotype/standard of beauty concept I discussed above. I wear my hair both natural, and straight. When I’m at work and I wear my hair natural (I’m a lawyer) people are constantly undermining my authority, especially when I’m in court. Baliffs and Judges repeatedly ask me “are you a lawyer?” When I step above the bar to the lawyer table, as all lawyers do when they walk into a court room. Other lawyers will push in front of me, and I always have to raise my voice a little more in order to be heard. However, when I wear my hair straight or pulled back in a tight bun, I might as well be walking with President Obama, because I get star treatment. Especially when I wear my hair straight, people tell me that I look “different” and “professional.” And I only wear my hair straight about one week a month. So the crappy treatment is pretty much the norm. At the end of the day, at work, I wonder whether wearing my hair straight makes me exude more confidence, and whether stemmed from others’ confidence in me once I was whitified and less threatnening. Which came first: the chicken or the egg? It’s depressing, and of course, it doesn’t help that I’m in Cincinnati.

    On the other hand, when I wear my hair natural (i.e., in all its poofy glory) in an environment where many people have and appreciate natural hair I feel just as confident, if not more confident. It is rare, however, that I’m in such a situation, and it doesn’t help that I’m in Cincinnati.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that…I don’t think a certain “type of man” (i.e., “Dwele” type, whatever that is) likes natural hair. I think that we live in an f’d up world were notions of black beauty are incredibly twisted and wrought with the history of oppression, hate and racism. Those of us who are able to live outside of the man’s box, or, in other words, live and work with educated and enlightened people, are lucky, and hopefully one of these days, that will be the norm. For now, I’m glad that my family, friends, husband and other educated brothas ( I can’t believe I just used that word…I hate it lol) give me enough confidence to overcome the rest of the world’s issues.

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