Let’s revisit a situation experienced by a fellow natural. She’s in a classroom packing up her books when she notices her white, male teacher looking at her. His look is not just a passing glance, but a stare. Although feeling annoyed, she ignores his staring and keeps packing. The teacher continues to stare. All of a sudden, her teacher gets up and walks up to her. “Your hair looks nice. What is that — natural?” he asks smiling up at her hair. She answers yes. “Great, that’s what I like to see,” he adds.
That experience was an eye opener for her – a white man staring at her all because of her hair. “He definitely made my day!” she said. Later, our fellow natural finds out that her teacher is married to a women of African descent and that her hair is also natural. She feels that it is therefore safe to assume that, “As a Caucasian male, he loves Black people, especially those with natural hair.” You can hear the ‘live’ version of this experience, and see the actual hairstyle she was wearing in ItalEmpress199 aka Kimberley Kerr’s YouTube Video, “White Men Like Natural Hair!”
Since going natural have you noticed that you get more compliments from white men, or white people in general? Do you find that for some reason they seem more accepting? Yardley Messeroux, creator of The Coil Review says,
“I feel like white men have been fascinated with black beauty for decades. Not all, but many. It has a lot to do with their view of black beauty. Overall, they see it to be different – unique – exotic, especially our natural hair. ”
Something much different from what they know and what they’ve grown up around in their households. They’re interested in learning more about it. And guess what? I don’t blame them. We’re pretty fly.” The Coil Review has a series called “Memoirs of a White Man” by Alex Barnett. It is the tale of a white man and how his fascination with natural hair (the afro) aided in his girlfriend’s transition.
“For her, it was perhaps the scariest thing she had done in her life, because this woman had straightened her hair for more than 25 years, since the age of 10. As for me, well, the hardest part was just learning the basics. As the White boyfriend of a Black woman, there was a lot I needed to learn –and quick– if I was going to help her navigate this journey. And, as she so often reminded me, I better learn, because it was my dumb ass who suggested this in the first place. Oops!” he writes.
I also came across more on this subject on Siditty.blogspot.com. In one of her posts, entitled “Natural Hair and IR Relationships”, Siditty, who is natural and married to a white man writes, “One thing I did notice was with white people they didn’t seem to be repulsed by my hair, they thought it was odd, but they didn’t ask me when I was going to go get it “done”.
My husband actually likes it because I spend less time in the bathroom and I am less inclined to fear rain or humidity. That, and he can actually touch my hair without fear of drawing back a nub. I think guys overall still prefer the straight look, but white guys who are open to dating black women seem to be more open to the concept of “natural hair”.”
Check out her above post and others: www.siditty.blogspot.com/2008/04/natural-hair-and-ir-relationships.html, www.siditty.blogspot.com/2008/01/black-hair-and-ir-relationships.html for a more insightful commentary on naturals and interracial dating.
Another one of my favorite blogs is On The Road to Queendom by Writing Addict. She has a head full of lovely locs and has also written on the topic. Her post is entitled “Do Men of Other Races Like Natural Black Women?”
In her post she states, “The men of other races told me that I was beautiful just like I was, that they loved my hair. That all of me was beautiful, not just some but all…” She goes on to add, “I don’t know how you feel about dating outside of your race, and I respect everyone’s decision. But let me say this, if you are open to love from different races, but think those other races don’t like you because you have tightly coiled or loc’d hair, well you need to think again.
Maybe slow down a bit when walking past … lift up that head and stop staring at the ground when you walk. Remember honey, you are a Queen and Queens are proud, they walk with eloquence and pride. You may just be surprised at “who” is checking you out! I know I was.” She also posted an excerpt from another site created by a white man called Black is Beautiful giving his take on ‘sexy’ roots, be sure to check it out on her blog.
Natural Hair Forum Discussions on the topic:
Black Hair Media Forum
Long Hair Care Forum