“Why The *%# Are They Famous??”

A celebrity is a famous person.
A famous person is one who has a widespread reputation usually of a favorable nature.
A star is a person who is celebrated or distinguished in some art, profession, or other field…

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So – some may ask – how is it that an increasing number of “celebrities”, who possess no discernable talent, manage to obtain a lavish lifestyle of the rich and famous? Millions of people who are even vaguely familiar with pop culture are perplexed by the heightened celebrity status bestowed upon those whose fame stems from activities once considered obscure, vulgar, or unflinchingly trifling – and completely devoid of what is commonly referred to as talent.

One wonders if 25 years ago or more, talent agencies would’ve considered taking on clients who offered no on-screen talent or training whatsoever, instead, relying on tawdry marketing strategies to ensure notoriety. For example, game shows contestants stayed in their respective lanes, and the only place you may find a former contestant was in your local mall or supermarket. Now, these contestants and other ‘non-scripted’ show participants seek to use their 15 minutes as a portal to create a whole freakin’ hour.

Sex sells for men and women alike, but for 99% of female celebs, sex appeal has always been paramount. Upon reflection however, those whose roots originated in (and failed to deviate from) X-rated activities, thrived in their own genre. Nowadays, it appears as though the lines are blurred, and women who would’ve reigned freely within the confines of the adult entertainment world are able to carve out tenuous careers in the mainstream. On the other end of the spectrum exist “the awkward” bunch who are willing to exploit their own eccentricities for the sake of prolonged media attention.

What fuels this phenomenon? Is it an insatiable need for attention? The media’s habit of nurturing the sensational rather than the substantive? The jury is still out on this convoluted debate. So we took a survey, which lists alleged “no talent” notables that receive far too much air time. Each of the celebs listed below falls under one or more of the following categories: pornographic; general opportunist; nepotism; gimmick. Take a guess as to who’s who in each category:

• Amber Rose
• Karrine Steffans
• The Kardashian Sisters
• Paris Hilton
• Nicole Richie
• Soulja Boy
• Kevin Federline
• Most popular reality show contestants
• All Flavor of Love contestants
• Nick Cannon
• Teyana Taylor
• Rumer Willis

The findings of the survey were intended to uncover the perspectives of concerned readers, and are by no means presented as irrefutable facts. As an online magazine, we are aware that new media is a major factor in the rise of the 15 minute famous set. The bigger issue at hand is the long-term impact this new trend will have on our society. What happens when newscasts become gossip – or scandal trumps talent and cheapness obliterates creativity? For starters, it may manifest in two media-crazed parents staging a hoax involving their missing son weather balloon…

No matter how you slice it, the fact is that a good deal of these so called ‘skill-free’ stars not only permeate the media, but have an avid fan base to boot. At the end of the day, that may be all it takes to be on top. Either that or one damn good publicist.

So, what say you Clutchettes and Gents? Why in the freak are ‘they’ famous? We’d like to hear your thoughts on this speculative issue.