Love is in the Hair – Celebrating Black Love & Natural Hair
In light of the recent negative media commentary concerning black women and relationships, the creator of the website, Black Girl with Long Hair (a.k.a. BGLH), Leila Noelliste, decided to write a positive post on the subject. Her post consisted of a giveaway asking readers to submit photos of themselves with their significant other and, in keeping with the main theme of the site, their natural hair.
The response was overwhelming, hundreds of pictures (and counting) poured in from women as well as men – BGLH’s post was a success.
Leila shares with Clutch readers how it all began…
Well, there has been a lot of news coverage lately about the fact that 42% of black women have never been married. And then Jill Scott wrote an article for Essence talking about how disappointed she is when she sees successful black men with white women. I just felt that it was a depressing and disappointing media atmosphere for young black women like myself.
My website, Black Girl with Long Hair, already exists to resist media messages that discredit kinky/curly hair. So I figured I’d take it a step further and use it as a platform to discredit the notion that black women are helpless and hopeless when it comes to love and relationships.
I’ve been natural for three years and very active in the online natural community for two, and I’ve noticed a high percentage of natural women are married and engaged women. So I asked my readers to send in photos of themselves with their significant others. I threw in a prize (a vintage ring for a winner selected at random) and I titled it the “Love is in the Hair” giveaway.
After I had finished writing the post I went back and forth for a really long time on whether I should post it. I wondered if people would find it too intrusive or off-topic, or feel that I was making light of a serious issue. After hemming and hawing, and talking to my fiancé at length, I put up the post around midnight, sandwiched another post on top of it and had a couple posts for backup in case the giveaway was an absolute bomb.
When I woke up 8 hours later I had 20 “Love is in the Hair” entries in my inbox. I left my computer for several hours that afternoon and came back to 46 entries! By the end of the first day I had received 73. I extended the series for another day and received 50 more entries. The giveaway ended a week ago and I’m still getting entries!
I was absolutely shocked at the response. I’ve run a lot of contests and giveaways on my blog and NONE have had this kind of response. It lets me know that there is a deep, deep hunger for us as black women to know and see that we are loved because there are so many media messages to the contrary.
Many women who emailed me their pictures also thanked me. Some saying, “You know, no one ever gives me the chance to celebrate my love.” That really struck me. It made me even more convinced that an acknowledgment of young, black love MUST become a part of the media script when we talk about black women and relationships.
I’ve been getting great feedback. A lot of people tweeted and blogged about the post, or put links to it in their Facebook statuses. Many, many people have asked me to make it a permanent fixture on my blog. I have some plans to that effect :) And of course, I’m super excited that Clutch was interested in doing a piece!
BGLH “Love is in the Hair” Submissions
More Information on BGLH
BGLH website
Love is in the Hair Post
BGLH Twitter
BGLH Facebook
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simplyme on
Meagan Good Tells Life & Style She & Her Fiancée Are Waiting For Their Wedding Night
agreed
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grateful on
Meagan Good Tells Life & Style She & Her Fiancée Are Waiting For Their Wedding Night
haffie is very right.
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Elle Michelle on
The Black Beauty Standard
@Ms. Quita: I can relate. I'm 5'3" and 110 lbs. While I haven't received blatant criticism from black men regarding my looks, I have...
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grateful on
Meagan Good Tells Life & Style She & Her Fiancée Are Waiting For Their Wedding Night
this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[...] April 27, 2010 by tatianarichards Black women, love and natural hair. Beautiful. [...]
I really liked the article. It’s one of the best posted on that website. The variety of men with black women was very positive.
Great article! I’m happy to be featured. :) And to add to the debate about “black love” vs. “natural hair love,” the hair is represented because it was first featured on BGLH – but I’m sure many of these ladies, myself included were part of a committed relationship even before going natural. It’s great to see such a positive topic!
Love it! TAKE THAT ECONOMIST!
And oh, I love you Clutch!
[...] Clutch: Love is in the air, celebrating black love and natural hair [...]
I love BGLH! And this article – I was so excited to see Clutch picked it up :).
Even if CLUTCH was promoting natural hair more over relaxed hair, so what. Black women with chemical diluted hair having been saturated up and down the media and there was never a balance. It’s either you have straight hair if you want to be accepted or take a damn hike.And people (black people most of the time) accepted it and actually welcomed and embraced it. Im glad this website shows alot of love to women with natural hair. CLUTCH doesnt need to change for nobody. You need to relate to black women who have straight hair who finds love, then you can just go outside. No really, go outside your house, and lots of black women with relaxed hair have boyfriends, husbands, etc…
and a lot of natural hair women I see have boyfriend and husbands. No clutch doesn’t need to change but I was saying that they have a wide audience than natural hair black women so touch upon all factors of black love not just one
@ binky you actually did say Clutch is catering to the naturals in your original post as a whole not just concerning this article. I think Clutch features more naturals on here than the typical magazine does which is appreciated and uncommon and actually represent a nice balance of who black women are.
AND I must say (as it relate to your 1st comment), may not be how you meant it but you should still be able to relate to these stories rather the female is a black woman with natural hair or a black woman with relaxed hair. I can pick up Vanity Fair (may or may not be relevant first mag that came to mind:))and relate to an article on love with an image of a white couple, let alone someone who likely shares my culture.
I don’t read other magazines because frankly I find most of them a waste of money and time, hence why I stick to Clutch because I like it. So what other magazines features and do, doesn’t apply to me because I don’t read them. Which is why I said, Clutch needs more of a “balance” between hair articles because not all of their readers wear their hair a certain way. Trust, I’ am not saying it to be mean or a pain in the butt :) just wanted to shed some light and say hold up, let’s make it an even balance.
and your right, I should have made my second comment more clear. Love is love and should be related too no matter what form and shape it is in. I do relate to the black women and I like reading and seeing their stories and testment of the black women finding love and isn’t the underdog in that arena. However, I think this article should have been a two parter of first showcasing black love with natural hair sistahs finding and holding onto love and other forms of black love like the suggestions I mention above to discredit the reportings that black women are lonely and unlucky in love.
But everybody is a critic right :P
This is beautiful. That is all.
I love it! I have been wearing my hair natural for six years and it’s a money and time saver. My skin has not looked beter and it has also boosted my confidence. Any while I hate to admit this, my boyfriend actually suggested that I go natural.
This post is refreshing in the midst of this whole disparity that the media is covering.
this is really nice to see.. saw the post on the blog before this.. I love LOVE stories! :-)
I am really happy to have been one of the ladies featured in this article. I’ve been following the comments since the article was posted the other day and have vented enough to my boyfriend to not have to put it on blast here. I believe that the point of it all was to show that Kinky hair gets love too. Those of us Natural women know how hard it is to face the world going against the grain of what the media, our peers and, even our own family perceive to be beautiful. We have to deal with such negative BS because of our decision to become natural, that it’s refreshing to meet someone and share your life with them and they accept you for who you are. There is a certain level self-acceptance and personal discovery a woman undergoes when she makes the transition to Natural Hair. Our significant others appreciate that we have taken the time to really get to know ourselves because in turn we can bring a whole and happy person into the relationship.
Excellent article. I’m glad that it’s titled black love. Yeah we know that some white boys are down with natural hair, what we needed to see is that brothers are equally down with natural hair and are not the “black women haters/white women chasers” the media portrays them to be. Sorry media moguls but black love is real and here to stay.
This is absolutely beautiful. Without writing a monologue I once had a co worker tell me that I didn’t have to worry about my natural hair because I didn’t have a husband. As if to say, I would be single due to my natural status. I wish I could print these pictures and forward them to her, because these couple were absolutely STUNNING. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!
This is beautiful! As much as I wanted to wear my relaxed hair, my husband really wanted me to go natural. He said that was the biggest thing he was attracted to when he met me. It feels good for a man to appreaciate things about you that are REAL and you at your natural state.
[...] at my school who is Indian dating a white female. black female indian male couple on this post: Love is in the Hair – Celebrating Black Love & Natural Hair | Clutch Magazine: The Digital… Don't know if that was helpful but i've heard black and white females i know note some hott [...]
I loved this article, thank you! So happy to share some of the things that have been brewing in my head when it comes to this black hair topic…
What i find fascinating is that mostly its white folk who tell me how great i look and how this natural looks great on me.
Even more fascinating is how my fellow sisters ask me how come my hair is this kinky and ask me how i manage it, when they must surely have this hair too.
It worries me immensely!
Is this how far out of touch we are with ourselves? Is this our level of self acceptance?
“Is this our level of self acceptance?”
I can understand that many think it’s all about brainwashign and not “accepting” your natural hair but can we also accept that to some people it is about finding a simple routine or likign a certain look?
I’ve been going back and forth between different types of styles. Like many others
rediscovering my hair. When you relax your hair it makes things so simple. Most people can follow a pretty basic and generic regimine but we all know that kinky, curly, knotty, and nappy can come in so many different lengths and textures that it’s harder to get a method down pact when it comes to day to day hair care.I for one am not equipped with the funds to go to a natural haircare stylist so I have to manage and figure out things on my own. I can go to a salon once in a blue moon and keep my hair healthy. When I go natural woo boy do I have to put in some work.
Even my mom, whose hair is natural, often wonders how I get my hair to do what it does and she is often approached by other women with natural styles who wonder how she gets the style that she does.
I wish we could start pushing for healthy hair no matter how you chose to do it instead of having it become some issue of self-hate or denial when that is not always the case. So many women are trying or lovign different hair even if it’s not for them. I think that shows that we’ve come a long way from simply accepting the conk as the way it has to be and deciding to do your hair the way you want fully knowing and loving the other choices out there.
[...] in photos of themselves and their significant others. That contest proved to be a huge hit. And as Leila explained in this interview with Clutch Magazine, it proved a larger point to [...]
[...] April, my RSS feed picked up an article that Clutch Magazine posted about the Black Girl with Long Hair blog. After a subsequent thorough perusing of various related [...]