Why We Need to Let Ochocinco Go
NFL star Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson is in promotional high-drive for his new VH1 reality show “Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch.” The 32-year-old athlete recently appeared on ‘The Wendy Williams’ show and just spoke to Essence.com. Naturally his relationship with Black women came up.
When asked about why he only choose two Black women on his show and how some Black women feel about it, the former ‘Dancing With The Stars’ candidate says, “I can’t do anything about that. I’ve never heard other races complaining about their men dating outside of their race besides Black people.” The man who changed his name to a Spanish name says, “I hate that we continue to pull that race card.”
When further questioned if he could understand where some Black women are coming from, Ochocinco says, “Yeah, but I can’t appease you. I have a preference.”
The new VH1 star explains he wants to find happiness on his own terms and that he deals with all kinds of women, Black, White and Chinese. He says, “keep your nails and feet done, and we’re good to go.”
Sisterly brethren, listen up. We can’t keep being the woman in the mall giving the evil stare at the brotha walking with a blonde. Let him be. And we can’t continue giving the side eye to Black men in entertainment who have their ‘preference.’ As long as these fellas don’t pull Slim Thug antics, praising White women while slamming Black women, then we really shouldn’t have a problem. We can not force Black men love us. They either want us, or they don’t.
Let Ochocinco go. He loosed us a long time ago.
What do you think about Ochocinco’s new VH1 show? Have you tuned in? What do you think about his comments?
Photo Source: ABC/Craig Sjodin
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since the wendy williams show aired & ocho cinco made it his business to tell the world about his light and damn near white “preference” i became mildly obsessed with this man. i couldn’t figure out if i loathed him for this societal/media induced preference or if i could relate to the choices he made when choosing some of those light & damn near white women on his dating show. (not a bisexual—but i can appreciate the beauty of a woman whether despite skin color.) this interracial dating topic has been an internal struggle for me. i cannot decide which end of the rope i’m joining in this ‘white girl vs black girl’ beauty debate.
i think we all suffer from a bit of social conditioning. we all might be products of our environment, BET tells us that light skin, & curly hair beats dark & kinky any day of the week.
i’m confused to say the least, && being that all five of his kids have DARK SKINNED african-american mothers i’m sure he is too…..
give him a break!
Yeees! Preach it girl! AMEN! This came up on a radio show last night on BlogTalkRadio. I told the sistas to not care and don’t WATCH! A network does not care if you like the show or not if you are viewing it at anytime then you are doing them a favor! STOP IT! Let OhNoCino go! Who cares?
If you don’t like it, don’t support the show…
I know I don’t plan on watching it AT ALL ..
Im not interested in listening to ocho and his speach impediment date over 30 women anyway
I think ochocinco is a punk not because he doesn’t “prefer” black women, but because he too arrogant and ugly to top it off!
Enough with this dude! I do not care about him and what he likes. I am tired of our women letting these men ‘s personal preferences be a problem to them. Who cares about these black men liking white women?
Get a life women and do you. I am a european girl and a Black one. I had to come to the US to see how big of a deal this issue is. How stupid is that. I have noticed that many black men here tend to date outside of their race for whatever the reasons may be. So what! I always tell my african american friends to go to Europe and be more open instead of complaining about this issue. No, they love their black men. While they want to stay true to their race, these men are busy dating white women.
I stick to my white european men because I love them and that is what I prefer. they know how to make you feel like a queen, yes ladies like a queen. I would love to see more black women open to date outside of their race instead of complaining about such a stupid issue. It is time to let it go.
You know what? Black women should just start doing what black men have been doing–date a rainbow, find some love. Drop the torch girls–there’s plenty of men who will love and cherish you, just as soon as you turn in your “nothin’ but a brotha” cards. Yes, let 85 go, along with all the others who feel as he does. Enough is enough. Get YOUR swirl on.
Listen, please open your minds and stop making yourself exclusive to black men when they do not stay exclusive to us. Of course I am Black, however I date many ethnicities. I am looking for the man that is going to treat me right. And sorry he does not have to be black.
Now here is the kicker when I am out with a non Black man, i get a lot of flack from Black men. They get angry and a few have even had the nerve to approach me when my date went to the bathroom. As if I am dating this man until I find a black one. Get off of it.
I love my brothers but I love me more.
I’ve read the many blogs and comments on articles written on this subject and I just don’t get it!! What is the fascination with dating someone of another race (particularly of the white race)? Less than (50) years ago in many parts of our country, we could not live where we wanted, shop where we wanted, get an education where we wanted and was hosed down and attacked by snarling dogs and racist cops in the south for daring to sit at a lunch counter and fast forward today and all of sudden white men/women (the original oppressors and their off spring) are suddenly love and relationship solutions to some of the very same problems they helped to create in the first place?!!
While I applaud the selfless and courageous white people and others who championed our civil rights in this country, there were and still are countless more that pine for the days when black people were “kept in our place” and were prostrated and rendered socially and politically impotent.
Instead of looking outside for a white or other race savior, why don’t we try to re-connect and make a committment to erecting strong male/female relationships, uplifting our race and building lasting legacies for our children and communities?
And, no, I am not racist or “stuck in the past.” Many intolerant and downright racist views still permeate. Just look at the comments made about our biracial president and first lady (even if she had a prominent white ancestor, lol). Dating and marrying interracially and even producing biracial off spring will not change the fact that you are still black (and that is a GREAT THING) and besides, an entire class of biracial children will grow up to be biracial adults and may be partial to people who come from similar circumstances. Oh, yes, I forgot, they will be lucky to, as stated in that old cliche (“get the best of both words”) and somehow serve as some kind of impartial or neutral racial conduit to broker peace and harmony amongst the races. :)
In (my experience) with some people who marry interracially, I’ve found that they do not necessarily possess the open, world view towards race relations as one might think. Just like many on this site have opined, they were open to and found love with a person from another race, but that did not seem to automatically mitigate or change the views they had (particulary) of the black race!! I suspect that this is because, in spite of our assertions otherwise, we’ve all been impacted by the racial stereotypes and caste systems that have plagued America and cultures all over the world.
As expressed, black women/men do not need a “black permission slip” to date outside of their race. But, please don’t be naive into thinking that some of the same “problems” you found with your own men/women will be absent from interracial relationships.
If just having relationships with white, Asian, Middle Eastern, Native American, etc. men/women were a panacea to all relationship problems, then divorce, domestic violence, rage killings, extortion, bankruptcy, adultery, rape, female oppression, war, alcoholism, drug abuse, child abuse, pedophilia, sexually transmitted diseases, being on the down low, and other societal ills would be virtuallly nonexistent in these groups or present in such insufficient numbers with virtually little social impact. And, intellectually, we know that this is not the case.
And, NO, black/black relationships do not guarantee domestic tranquility or eliminate any or all of the aforementioned problems!! But as African Americans, we will never solve our relationship woes, let alone all of our other problems, if we look to other races as some kind of omnipotent security blanket!!
Why is it that when someone who is realistic about the prospects of dating interracially, we have this knee-jerk reaction and assume “interracially” is code for white? (not that I have a problem with that) Are the only races in existence black and white? Umm….no. But hey! Let’s go through a list of other races and see what we can find what’s wrong with them so we can AGAIN make another excuse to not have women exercise their options to increase their chances for love and happiness:
Indian: Nah, they worship cows. Black folks like to eats ribs.
Mexican: Are you kidding? They’re taking all our jobs!
Asian: They own too many black beauty salons. Plus, ALL of them are rude.
Italian: (as in, from Italy) They are entirely too adoring of dark skinned women–that’s just weird.
Swedish (as in Sweden): Did you know they treat the black women they marry like trophies? Pfffft!
Native American: Ah hell naw, they drink too much, and they’re hair is prettier than my weave. I’m not having that!
I could go on, but then I would have to tap WAY into my inner Archy Bunker.
Just thought I’d help you generalize…
SMDH
“But, please don’t be naive into thinking that some of the same “problems” you found with your own men/women will be absent from interracial relationships.”
Once again subtly demonizing black women that have found love outside of their race by suggesting they are somehow betraying their people. Almost every point you made is based on the assumption that black people date outside of their race to somehow change or better the issues we deal with as a people, which is soooo not true! Nine times out of ten a black woman with any common sense is not falling for this “white Knight” theory and any black person with commons sense knows this is not a good reason or realistic reason for dating outside of ones race.
You act like it is impossible for a black person to simply have a connection with and fall in love with someone who isn’t black. There always has to be some kind of weird hidden agenda to escape some sort of issues within the black race. Most of my black female friends who have boyfriends/husbands that are non-black are very aware of social issues within our community and work as educators, lawyers, activists and concentrate much of their time and money in the betterment of black people, particularly our youth. Just because they are not with a black person romantically does not mean that have somehow forgotten who they are as a black person as well as our history as a people. Most of these women have done more for black people than some blacks who exclusively date within their race.
Ari,
I never meant to subtly or otherwise “demonize” black women or men for dating or marrying outside of their race. I simply related my opinions and experiences on this omnipresent topic that I just don’t understand why so many people are looking outward in choosing relationships with other races and some seem to display antipathy toward members of their own race.
Yes, many historical and present day figures to include civil rights pioneers, athletes and entertainers married to nonblack people have made great contributions to America. But, I still find it interesting that while they’ve work so tirelessly for black people supposedly more so than some blacks who’ve chosen to marry or partner with other blacks, that when it is time to make one of the most important and intimate life choices with serious black community survival implications, they choose someone of another race. And, I’m not sorry to say, their choices speak volumes.
Maybe you are enlightened and have “common sense” when choosing to date interracially, but I have read many comments and blogs to suggest that some black women and men are so fed up with each other that they have adopted a kind of juvenile “tit for tat” mentality. I don’t believe that this animosity is healthy for our race.
As stated in my original comment, black people who cross over the romantic color line do not need permission slips. There are obviously many perspectives on this issue and I felt obligated to offer my own. Take care.
Jean-Anne,
I can tell your comments are not coming from a place of malice or anger toward blacks who date/marry outside of their race. I can see it is more about your concern that there are black men/women who make conscious decisions to not date other blacks (which is true in some cases unfortunately) as well as the fact that the product of these relationships are children and new generations that are multi/bi-racial and are not 100% black, which would begin to change our identity as black people. All in all I guess your comments are based on your experiences and what you have read or absorbed in the media that perpetuate the idea that black date outside of their race due to some degree of self hate, but I have also seen positivity and self love among our race, even those who date and marry outside of their race.
First I’ll just say that as widely reported as the issue of blacks dating interstitially has become, statistics show that the majority of black men and an even greater majority of black women are actually dating and marrying within their race. We are bombarded with images of Ocho Cinco’s and blatantly ignorant blacks who make their preference for non-black men/women known and put down their own race in the process. However, there are many black people who marry and date interracially that don’t have any malice or negative feelings toward their own race. They simply form close bonds with and are also attracted to non-black people. You stated:
“But, I still find it interesting that while they’ve work so tirelessly for black people supposedly more so than some blacks who’ve chosen to marry or partner with other blacks, that when it is time to make one of the most important and intimate life choices with serious black community survival implications, they choose someone of another race. And, I’m not sorry to say, their choices speak volumes.”
I don’t think it’s fair to put that kind of pressure on black people or any human being for that matter. If they fall in love with someone who is not black it undermines all of the positive things they have done for their own race? The survival of our people does not lie in making conscious decisions to not fall in love with or date anyone that isn’t black. It lies in the conditioning of our minds and uplifting the mentality of our people. Yes, there are some of us who have conditioned our minds to harbor negative feelings toward other blacks, but there are also smart and conscious black people who do not feel the need to date outside of their race in order to “escape” problems within their own race. It is possible to fall in love with a non-black person and keep your pride in your people in tact.
Jean-Anne,
Thank you for being such a thoughtful sister and thinking outside the box. The power of suggestion is strong and I am glad you can see past propaganda, contextualize the problem and deliver such timely and poignant words. A lot of what these ladies are saying about IR dating sounds like rhetoric repeated over and over at those so called BLACK FEMALE EMPOWERMENT sites which to me are actually leading us farther from unity and progress and into a white supremacist mindset. I admit I was on the Date-A-White-Guy, bandwagon at one point to until i began to see it was basically aimed at the division and destruction of our community/self image. Its so much deeper than “dating”.
Thank you for being such an intelligent an thoughtful sister and I am happy ladies like you are continuing to step out of line and move to the front of the bus.
Much Love
I’ve heard that ochocinco’s show is doing horribly in ratings. who wants to watch a self-hating black man on tv with a bunch of uninteresting botoxed types? think about it
browngal, co-signing what you said 100%.
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