T.I. and Tiny Arrested: Is Being a Ride-or-Die Chick Overrated?
From Black Voices — Straight off the heels of his number one box office movie, ‘Takers,’ Clifford “T.I” Harris, 29, has found himself in trouble with the law, yet again. Instead of gun possession, this time around T.I. and his wife Tameka “Tiny” Cottle-Harris, 36, were arrested and taken into custody for possession of controlled substances. The LA County Sheriff department reports that after recognizing the smell of marijuana in the car, the vehicle was searched and the couple was immediately arrested.
This unfortunate occurrence also comes days after the couple’s July nuptials. T.I.’s repeated run in with the law — just five months after his release from prison — is beyond disappointing. However, his wife Tiny’s involvement appears to be the most unfortunate aspect of the situation. As if she hasn’t already, Tiny proves once again she is the poster child for the term ‘Ride-or-Die Chick.’
The former ‘Xscape’ member has been with Harris through it all. When T.I first started his career and she had to stand in the background, she rode it out. When he became a megastar and she had to deal with ‘groupie’ rumors, she rode it out. Bearing child after child and still being known as the ‘longtime girlfriend,’ indeed she rode that out too. It was Tiny who was in the car when T.I got caught with possessing guns and it was Tiny who did the bid with her man when he was locked up.
But in the end what’s in it for Tiny? Yes, it’s commendable that she’s been able to work things out in her relationship and has stuck by her man, but for what? Ride-or-die chicks are known for doing absolutely anything for their men, where the operative word ‘anything’ is not an exaggeration. These are the types of women that would kill, steal, lie, cook, clean, sleep with — and if necessary like Tiny — go to jail for their man. In fact, proving how much she will do and how unafraid she is to do it becomes the ultimate measure and testament of her love for her partner.
On the second season of her BET reality series, ‘Tiny and Toya’, Tiny revealed that although she would love to revisit her singing her career, T.I hasn’t been supportive about the idea, which begs the question: At what point does being labeled a ride-or-die chick become overrated?
(Continue Reading @ Black Voices…)
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hell yes it is overrated. it is beyond overrated, as is “keepin’ it real’. next question.
Again the issue is the Idea of splitting a union between two who possibly love one another do we Know all the facts and will we continue to print the negativity of posible unhealthy relationships of track for one moment Roger Clemens is about to get away with purgery and the black press allowed Barry Bonds to be Kicked out out of Baseball ithout so much as a word because they had no proof so we let it go away like the lynching in the south and the black holucost that we call the passage yes make negative light of how a Black woman will stand by her man no matter what the circumstances you make it negative I say its positive and admirable but maybe thats the problem today and why our divorce rate and illigitimacy is at a high divorce and abortion not just you but all who participate in this type of bashing,one of our true falls that remains an issue is unity and positive reporting instead of stories to sell magazines
Is she a ride or die or is she just caught up in drama with him. Despite the situations they are in, she STILL loves him. Should she just walk away because of legal woes? I am not excusing their behavior, but we all know that “law of the land aside”, black men are sought out to lock up. Yeah, they make it easy to do, but still we have to consider that when asking:
At what point does being labeled a ride-or-die chick become overrated?
Now with all that said—I am not going to jail for NO ONE, stealing for NO ONE or any other stupid thing that will get me hemmed up. No love is that serious. I tell my husband, you better not get locked up, unless you saving our children or something else righteous. I do not do BIDS. I am against anything that will take my man away from his family, so if he does it, its on him……
If she was in the car blazing too, she is just as wrong as he is. That is not ride or die, that is just being irresponsible! But—if she was saying boo, wait til we get home because you know they out to get us, than kudos to her for standing up somewhat.
Any woman/man that stands back and not voice concern when they see his/her partner doing something that could devastate lives—IS STUPID! They may see it as keeping a partner happy but it’s actually causing harm to entire relationship/family. That is the time when The Creator expects you to speak up.
If it equates to stupidity then hell YES it is overrated! I get the concept of standing by your man come hell or high water but at the same time you just have to say when enough is enough. Sorry but I’ am not standing by no damn body if they are blatantly doing wrong and not trying to be right, being immature and just irresponsible. Sorry but I didn’t sign up for jail time and to do illegal activities for or with you while we are in a relationship. Love maybe be a lot of things, but one of the things it shouldn’t be is stupid. Why would you stand by someone who will drag you down, make you look bad and bring the drama to your life, no ma’am. I thought your other half is suppose to make you be a better person not regress. Personally, in this situation with Tiny and TI they are both wrong because one should have use better judgement and common sense to wait until you are home or something, not driving around in an expensive car calling attention to yourself
bonnie and clyde
Overrated is based on how NON*ride or die chicc’s see it. A ride or die chicc well damn the name explains it all RIDE or DIE.
The second thing TRUE LOVE is UNCONDITIONAL, if u put conditions on love then it aint true. TINY has stuck by T.I.’s side through it all yes it’s commendable, respectable, and the fact that she has submitted to her husband, because she has found TRUE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. A REAL WOMAN would see the good in her man when the rest of the world see’s his faults. A REAL WOMAN would stick by her man when his wrongs are NOT outweighed by his RIGHTS. If her man tells her he don’t want her to do something it’s in the bible the man is the head of the household, he is looking out for his wife. Good grief they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t by society.
well the real woman you describing sounds REAL dumb.
“…A REAL WOMAN would see the good in her man when the rest of the world see’s his faults…”
True…
“…A REAL WOMAN would stick by her man when his wrongs are NOT outweighed by his RIGHTS…”
True…
“The second thing TRUE LOVE is UNCONDITIONAL, if u put conditions on love then it aint true…”
I disagree with this statement, sort of.
@batman*mami – you’re right about submission to one’s husband being in the Bible, but you are taking that message out of context. a man is the head of the household and his wife is supposed to submit to him, but the line is drawn when her submission to him comes at the price of her relationship with God. headship to God always comes first, above any other relationship. i doubt God includes riding in a car with your husband while he (or both of you) are participating in illegal activities as submission to your husband. i doubt God includes in that submission advocating/supporting your husband while he continues in behavior that is detrimental to himself, yourself, and the family you have made together. i believe in standing by your husband, but sometimes a man will not listen to his wife when she is trying to tell him that what he is doing is hurting himself and his family. love is a two way street, if he (T.I.) really loves his wife, then he would try very hard to leave that old way of life behind. he has a wife and children now and his actions are very, very, very selfish. sometimes you have to give an ultimatum- it’s the vices you have or me and our children. pick one, because you can not have them both. i am not saying she should divorce him, but maybe Tiny (and women like her) needs to tell her husband, you can’t come back in our home until you get your stuff together. i wish people would stop trying to gloss over what a ‘ride or die’ chick’ really means. it means exactly what has been implied in many songs, it is very much a Bonnie and Clyde type of deal. a ‘ride or die chick’ is an enabler.
@ secret ninja
AMEN to everything you said!! I don’t know where batman*mami gets off using the bible to justify Tiny’s support of T.I.’s illegal activity. A supportive and strong wife does not equal an enabler.
@Ari
Amen 2 what? Ya’ll not even being CHRIST like, casting the first stones so ya’ll without sin the last time I was at church JESUS was still the ONLY1 who walked this earth PERFECT. Second
judgement is also a sin, only GOD’S judgement matters.
Nowhere did I justify using the bible about anyone’s activity. First get off your devil’s pedistle u hold urself on and realize I was making a statement about the article talking about T.I. not wanting TINY to go back to singing, u have no idea what occures between T.I. nor his wife, nor do I, I was merly stating what the bible SAYS about a woman submitting to her husband and looking at it from a married POV. Second of all u don’t know ALL the facts as to what took place in LA, was u there in the car with them or was u the po*po’s because from what I know to be true tabloids lie that is why their is still so many different facts circulating. Take the time and realize (in this case) that their are 3 sides to every story his/her side, the po*po’s side and the truth. So use ur AMEN to something that gives GOD praise instead of another sinner.
‘Ride Or Die Chick’…
I dislike that term. I understand the definition of the term and I agree with the term. But, I don’t like the misguided definition of the term. There are a lot of women and girls who believe it means being the ‘Bonnie’ to their men’s ‘Clyde’. But they fail to acknowledge that even Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow was killed.
When does this ‘ride or die chick’ becomes overrated?
In my opinion, it becomes overrated when a woman is compromising herself, her children and her family for some worthless S.O.B.
Like I said before, I appreciate the message of ‘ride or die chick’. But regardless if my man is great person, I will always love myself more.
True love is not unconditional. Love has boundaries and limits. There are always confitions to every relationship. There have to be or there would be chaos.
She’s 36 and a Mom. Her loyalty is to her children first. Anything that jeopardizes her ability to be a mom needs to go.
This relationship is beyond toxic. Tiny and TI need to do some soul searching and maturing. If for no other reason than for the children, they need to make some drastic and immediate changes to their lives.
@Monie
How do u figure true love is NOT unconditional? so do u say GOD has conditions on loving u? God only loves u if u do right?God’s love IS UNCONDITIONAL. and we are suppose to live or lives according to what the bible says. i guess u have shared with us that when u love u put conditions on ur love with some1, that if they hurt u then it’s over. the way u r putting it is love is conditional, well then u haven’t had TRUE love. LOVE doesn’t have boundaries and limits. Try reading the bible about love.
Also Bonnie and Clyde were not romantically involved. I don’t know where this misconception comes from. Also, they were both killed, why the hell are people proud to immulate dead criminals? Some people are too damn lost to save. I swear people need to pass aptitude tests before they are allowed to reproduce.
im 13 dumbshit,not planning on reproducing to soon.lol yeah bonnie and clyde(was a joke).shit ppl just run der mouths on shit they dont know.blah blah :P
******************************************************************************************************************
Batman*mami wrote: “…TRUE LOVE is UNCONDITIONAL, if u put conditions on love then it aint true.”
******************************************************************************************************************
Tell that to T.I. since he put conditions on his relationship and ‘love’ for Tiny by forbidding her to work (perform).
******************************************************************************************************************
Batman*mami wrote: “… the fact that she has submitted to her husband…”
******************************************************************************************************************
Using that verse to justify ordering one’s spouse around as if they were a dog is not in line with scripture since being bossy, mean, selfish, overbearing etc. to one’s wife is not love. People always tickle me when they quote this scripture for their own benefit since there are responsibilities that both wives and husbands have to their spouses. Men can’t harp on Ephesians 5:22′s “Wives, submit to your husbands…” yet fail to read the entire book and heed the equally important and binding commands that come after it:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church…” – Ephesians 5:25
“…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” – Ephesians 5:28
“…each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself… — Ephesians 5:33
******************************************************************************************************************
Batman*mami wrote: “If her man tells her he don’t want her to do something it’s in the bible the man is the head of the household, he is looking out for his wife.”
******************************************************************************************************************
Oh, please, T.I. and Tiny haven’t been married 2 months; he’s merely been a baby daddy so how did T.I. have any leg to stand to “tell her he doesn’t want her to do something” when he wasn’t even her husband for the last 10 years? A dude can’t use the ‘good book’ when it serves his selfish agenda and spit some “head of the household” or “wives should submit” lines if he is not a husband and failed to heed biblical prohibitions against fornication and adultery.
@ Akai
“Tell that to T.I. since he put conditions on his relationship and ‘love’ for Tiny by forbidding her to work (perform).”
That is not putting conditions on their realtionship he told tiny how he felt it was a decison that would affect their entire family with her doing that. Have u never been in a realtionship where u have come to a mutual understanding and be in agreement about something major in ur life? u r taking my words and twisting it into something that u feel is correct and it is incorrect in the way that I am expressing it.
“Using that verse to justify ordering one’s spouse around as if they were a dog is not in line with scripture since being bossy, mean, selfish, overbearing etc. to one’s wife is not love. People always tickle me when they quote this scripture for their own benefit since there are responsibilities that both wives and husbands have to their spouses. Men can’t harp on Ephesians 5:22′s “Wives, submit to your husbands…” yet fail to read the entire book and heed the equally important and binding commands that come after it:“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church…” – Ephesians 5:25“…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” – Ephesians 5:28“…each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself… — Ephesians 5:33
How is he orderin his wife around by ur standards? Tiny doesn’t appear to share the same feelings that u do that he is bossy, etc….. so ultimately what u think doesn’t matter. Keep getting tickled with ur high and mighty on ur devil’s pedistle self wantin to read in and out of scipture and take it how u see fit. Yes their is more to the bible than the verse that I was referring to, but u also left out many scriptures talking about marriage, forgivesness, ect.
Oh, please, T.I. and Tiny haven’t been married 2 months; he’s merely been a baby daddy so how did T.I. have any leg to stand to “tell her he doesn’t want her to do something” when he wasn’t even her husband for the last 10 years? A dude can’t use the ‘good book’ when it serves his selfish agenda and spit some “head of the household” or “wives should submit” lines if he is not a husband and failed to heed biblical prohibitions against fornication and adultery.
Oh please urself. How high and mighty that u get in and out ur word that quick to quote me and then have nothing but negative words for me and then speak on ti and tiny, that is why people like u make it so hard for people who actually love the lord to get his word spread cuz 1 minute u quoten the next u are have nothing but anger and negativity comin from bumping ur gums. good for him for taking care of his kids maybe u r jealous that u kids lack that? only jealousy makes anger. He had a leg cuz tiny said he did. u must not know the purpose of the bible… the bible is full of sinners do some research and read ur bible… don’t just quote it sinner. May GOD bless the negative.
Mercy, mercy. TI is the same ole TI. It seems “getting married” was a part of his probation. smdh.
This chick isn’t some innocent girlfriend dealing with a thug. She is an active participant in his shady dealings, she is on that shit too. As for career if he doesn’t want her to work and she accepts that’s on her. He seems to have common sense enough that two people touring and making music while raising kids is a recipe for disaster for a marriage. Besides he played the sidelines when she was hot now its her turn.
Not sure of all the details – so I won’t necessarily apportion blame to either TI and/or Tiny. But I do have to agree with Clnmike in terms of the reality of the situation. I know alot of viewers of the Tiny reality TV show take issue with the fact that Tiny has apparently sidelined her career at TI’s insistence – but her decision is one that thousands of career women now mothers (and perhaps career men now fathers) are faced with. The was on article on Slate sometime ago (http://www.slate.com/id/2249312/) that highlighted the growing trend among accomplished females (in this case, Harvard Law School grads) who turn to the “mommy track” that is become full-time housewives – despite their potential to become powerhouses in their careers. Looks like Tiny and TI are simply jumping on a band-wagon that white and other-race women have jumped on for some time – but hitherto, has been somewhat (and still is) discouraged among black women. Despite the obvious trouble with the law, drug possession charges, and other related foolishness, to some of the most educated and accomplished women – Tiny’s position is somehow desirable.
Yeah, I don’t really take issue with Tiny deciding to be a “stay at home mom” I guess you could say. They have a lot of kids and it is probably beneficial to the family if at least one parent holds down the fort while the other is out earning. Plus like any other couple with a family, any arrangement made (financial, career wise, etc.) is only between the two of them and none of our business.
The reason why Tiny gets the side eye is because she is a 36 year old mother with young children and she needs to act accordingly for the sake of her family and herself. Smoking weed and/or using other narcotics in a car with your husband who just got out of jail and is on probation is extremely stupid, irresponsible, dangerous and selfish.
I hope she was at least discouraging T.I. from using those substances as well as advising him to stay away from people that would encourage drug usage or have them in their possession. However I have a strong feeling she (stupidly) was a willing participant like Clnmike said.
Ride-or-die chick? Really?? Are we still doing that? This isn’t about love, it’s about black women feeling they have to sacrifice everything for a man. It’s one thing to support your man, but when your whole life takes a backseat because that’s what he wants, its not support. Its martyrdom for the flimsiest of causes. What has he given up for her? But hey, its her life, if the broad wants to be so stupid and lowdown on herself that she feels like she needs to follow him to hell and back, so be it. That’s her. But I really thought we had come further than being a prop for a man at this point. Ugh.
@hehe
Well thank u for sharing with us u a NON RIDE*or*DIE chicc
@ Michelle
u either agree or disagree with the statement u can’t sort of disagree that doesn’t make sense.
@secretninja
says who i am taking it out of context u? u tell me where it says in the bible what u r saying, besides u r giving ur opinion when u say “u doubt GOD… or u doubt GOD includes” so u are merly interpreting how u believe. so call it as u c it, n i’ll call it as i c it.TRUE GOD comes b4 anyone including ur children and man.
I’ve nothing but admiration for educated career wives who can afford it and make the choice to be stay-at-home mothers, especially when they’ve small children.
When T.I. and Tiny started dating in 2001, she was basically an unknown former member of a girl’s group (Xscape) that only had one moderately successful CD in the 90′s and had long ago dropped off the charts. On her reality show, Tiny clearly stated that she wanted to work and perform but didn’t because T.I. didn’t want her to and would get angry. She made her own decisions and if Tiny likes it, I love it, but there are lots of working ‘artists’ (singers, actors etc.) that are parents.
Tiny chose to do a reality show and basically send out invitations for observers to comment so IMO her acquiescing is indicative of an unfulfilled female placing herself last and putting aside the pursuit of her own goals, wants and needs to satisfy the demands and desires of some dude (that wasn’t even her husband). Another commenter asked what had T.I. given up for her and that was an excellent question.
Anyway, risking one’s personal freedom (prison), life (driving while under the influence) and jeopardizing the welfare of one’s children – especially for an individual that probably wouldn’t do the same for you – reeks of zero self-esteem. ‘Riding’ for a fool that goes in and out of the pokie, expects you to put money on his ‘jail account’, considers you good enough to boink and impregnate but not marry, hangs up and lays up but won’t get a job, has a bunch of baby mamas and kids they don’t take care of, disrespects you, beats your ass, cheats, is able-bodied yet contributes nothing to the household etc. is dumber than dumb…so being a “ride or die” chick is neither cute nor honorable; it’s plain ol’ stupid!
Correction: “…hangs out and lays up but won’t get a job…”
I’m not sure what the connection is between her being relegated to background in their relationship/marriage and her being arrested for smoking weed. Why are we assuming that she did not actually want to possess and smoke marijuana and that the only reason she had it in the first place was because she was with T.I.?
I think Americans, and particularly the black community need to see this incident as a catalyst for a discussion on decriminalizing the smoking of weed. To me, this incident has nothing to do with their relationship. It’s not like she was arrested because she stashed guns for T.I. to help him pull off some bank heist. She was arrested because she, along with T.I., were both in possession of marijuana and therefore both broke the law. It’s not much deeper than that.
*decriminalizing marijuana
sigh…i have to agree with everything akai’s said.
Batman*Mami you were the first one that brought the bible up (which I personally found inappropriate, irrelevant and out of place), then you applied directives about ‘wives’ and ‘submitting’ on Tiny’s situation. You accused another of not knowing “all the facts,” so do you know for sure whether Tiny or T.I. are Wiccan, Christian, atheist, Buddhist or practitioners of voudoun that drink chicken blood by the light of a full moon?
For some reason you are ignoring the fact that these two have not been married for 2 months and — more importantly – were not married for most of their relationship. So, where in the heck does scripture even remotely state that a female is supposed to ‘submit’ to her boyfriend or baby daddy? That’s right, it doesn’t!
What part of ‘Tiny said (out her own mouth) she wanted to work and perform but T.I. didn’t want her to!’ do you just not get? Obviously they were not “in agreement” as Tiny did not do what she wanted and, instead, acquiesced to her felonious baby daddy like a dingbat!
And yeah I’m the devil, on the “devil’s pedistle” [sic], directed “negative words” towards you, whatever else and yada yada yada simply because I respectfully disagreed.
Don’t you know you lose when you get hysterical and start yelling “sinner,” “devil” and try to get personal instead of addressing what was actually stated? It was an epic fail as I’m happily married and we’ve no children yet but this is not about “forgiveness.” T.I. hasn’t personally violated anyone here but I personally wouldn’t have ever had a “baby daddy” for all the tea in Tokyo — especially one who was a felon or ever donned an orange jumpsuit! …jes sayin’!
@Sloane: There’s hope for you yet. *olive branch*