The beauty of a good relationship is being able to act and live freely without ever facing scrutiny—well, maybe in a fairytale.

Unless you’re in the midst of a heightened argument, it might be easier to complain behind your man’s back than it is to tell him to his face what you can’t stand about him most.

It’s no secret. Certain things he does continue to bother you. Matter of fact, those issues ride under your skin like a pulsating artery; how he sucks his thumb at night like a child, the annoying way he mispronounces certain words, or those ashy and calloused hands that he allows to live another day without lotion or hand cream—the same crusty hands that he uses to rub you down every night, that just about peel the skin off of your back every time he touches you.

Ouch! But you get the point.

As small as these issues may seem, they’re simple fixes that can be addressed in passing, yet many of us continue to stay mum. Our silence is the exchange for keeping our honeymoon brewing, and the white flag waving in our relationships. But why fear speaking the truth? No one wants to be the recipient of someone else’s critical eye, but being open and honest is far better than forcing yourself to deal with something that continues to annoy you.

If no other woman will be the bearer of bad news . . .

Here’s a few things women wish they could say to men, but are too afraid to.

  • Unless you’re a tweener, basketball shorts don’t belong under your jeans! Boxers or Briefs are the wears of grown men.
  • If you have a comb over, a front fade that starts towards the middle of your head, or a “peekaboo patch” in the center of the bush, need I say it? You’re balding. Just cut your hair!
  • You can tell a lot about a man’s extracurricular activities by looking at the grime under his nails. Scratch much? Please clean them.
  • Warning: Your love-making isn’t as good as you think it is. Sometimes I wonder why you even smile after we make love, because I’m the only one experiencing the punch-line.
  • God made Listerine so morning kisses wouldn’t cause premature deaths. Use some.
  • Your relaxed fits are starting to look like skinny jeans. Either buy new clothes, or lets both get a membership at the gym.
  • Every time you take off your shoes, I experience smoke signals, yet no one comes to rescue me. A little foot powder goes a long way, my funky friend.
  • There are way too many skincare lines for you to have shave bumps as an adult.
  • Some of your gestures during sex are a bit feminine and can be a turn off.
  • I’ve had better conversations with a television. Can you act more interested when we talk, or make a conscious effort to be more interesting?
  • As if you haven’t heard this before . . . Your mom is pretty mean.
  • Genetics are everything. I’m afraid to have children with you because I’m afraid they’ll turn out looking like your family. I’m sorry.
  • I’m just not that attracted to you anymore.

I know I can’t be the only one with complaints. So, Clutchettes and Gents, what are some of the things you’ve been wanting to tell your mate that you’re too scared to?


  1. LetsBeReal

    You wonder why black women are always single. Because you don’t say this and then lash out at us for no random reason. Because “YOU SHOULD KNOW” or “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID”. SAY IT.

    • Clnmike

      You must not have gotten the memo, black men have the ability to read minds.

  2. Ripley Morant

    yes, most of these i can do without and can be shallow (like using foot powder, hell just put it in his shoes veore he leaves out), however would like to have seen things that bother us about our man that needs to be seriously discussed like…God, adoption, giving back to our our communities, extracurricular activites (other than watching ESPN) and speaking correct me that’s way more important than wether or not he uses foot powder or sucking his thumb…and frankly any grown man who is sucking his thumb at night is GROSSSSSSS!

  3. Yes, I care about a man that has a good heart, respects his mother, works hard and believes in God but that does not mean other things don’t matter. I am not going to deal with morning breath just because a man is nice and kind. It is not being petty but is shows respect. If I get up and take care of grooming issues in the morning, why can’t you. There is no excuse such as it ruins the mood. What ruins the mood is bad breath and please don’t just get up and do a few swishes with mouthwash because there is nothing worse mouthwash over morning breath. Brush your teeth and tongue!! I also have to say that many men need to address dental care issues in general. It seems some men over a certain age have issues with bad breath because of lack of dental care, even those with perfect smile. If you have a cavity, a certain point there is the odor from dental decay.

  4. Aureal

    Stop farting in the bed. It smells and it’s not cute!

  5. Ashly

    I personally over the years have had to learn how to curb back my bluntness with some of the above comments, because trust, not everyone is has to love me or stay with me through it all. However, I feel that I have a relationship where if any of those statements were in any way shape or form connected to my man, I will be able to let him know straight up. I
    It isn’t at all trying to crush my man’s ego or to bring him down, because I truly have brought him up from his past relationships, but it is the fact that he can trust me to be real with him on all levels and I ensure him that no one, especially me is not perfect and as long as we can accept, understand and love our imperfections, hell, we can say PRACTICALLY whatever.

Comments are moderated, please be respectful. View our policy.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Read previous post: