Black America’s faux relationship expert, and the latest cover boy of Essence magazine, made a recent appearance on CNN and officially declared platonic relationships a fallacy.

According the 53-year-old comedian turned radio host, women and men can’t be friends. Harvey told CNN that he’s incapable of having female friends. In promotion of his latest book, Straight Talk No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man, Harvey says this about women’s male friends:

“He’s your friend only because you have made it absolutely clear that nothing else is happening except this friendship we have. We remain your friend in hopes that one day there will be a crack in the door, a chink in the armor and trust and believe that guy that you think is your friend will slide in that crack the moment he gets the opportunity. Cause we’re guys.” Harvey claims that this is the case with women’s male friends 99.9 percent of the time.

Once again, Harvey struts his unempirical “cause we’re men” unsubstantiated relationship advice, and major networks like CNN takes it all in. I know loads of women and men who are genuine friends; they have a sturdy respect for each other, and wouldn’t dare cross the line.

But what do you say? Can women and men truly be friends? Or is a male friend, like Harvey says, only waiting for the opportunity to make a move?

Can women and men be friends? Sound off!


  • http://sweetilocks.blogspot.com Sweetilocks

    Hmmm, maybe that’s why he’s had so many successful marriages. Wait, ummm? Yeah. Exactly!

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    • zy

      BINGO! This is precisely why we shouldn’t take a damn thing he says seriously. Steve Harvey speaks for HIMSELF and then generalizes it for all men. It’s ridiculous. Why people buy into his foolishness is beyond me and the way white America has praised him for his “expertise” is a joke.

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    • jay

      I don’t think his advice is for black men only. It should be for ALL men.
      I think generalizations are bad..but we gotta pay attention to themes. I don’t think he is preaching anything none of haven’t heard . Is it bad because he is a man?
      If we support other relationship gurus, why can’t we respect Steve? I think he is experienced enough.

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    • http://sweetilocks.blogspot.com Sweetilocks

      @Jay, He’s basically claiming that all men think as simple-mindedly as he. That he cannot have a relationship with a woman without wanting sex. It says a lot about how Steve Harvey functions in his relationships, but it definitely does not speak for all men. Granted, I have known many men who think just like him! Thus, I don’t have as many male friends as I would like to.

      I’ve found from personal experience that as soon as they started having sex, I lost all my male friends (when I was younger). Later on, I found that very few men wanted to be my friend because they were attracted to me. I can’t say I have any male BEST friends, but I do have male friends and we are cool because we don’t look at each other like that. It takes a lot of maturity, which is lacking in most folks’ relationships, thus they can’t handle platonic friendships.

      People must realize that there are different types of attraction. You can be attracted to someone’s personality, you may even find them physically attractive, and NOT want to have sex with them. People get too hung up on sex as if it’s the end all, be all, as if it’s the only connection you can have to the opposite sex. Clearly it’s not, otherwise we’d all be pedophiles and inbreeders. Think about it.

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  • http://www.myspace.com/804dimpledqt Miss Jae

    While Steve Harvey isn’t capable of being friends with women, that’s not the same for everyone. Just because Mr. Harvey has seen the light and gotten married, doesn’t make him the spokesman for relationships. It’s one thing for mainstream media to fall for this bull—-. For Essence to not only fall for this, but put Mr. Harvey on the cover reminds me of why I stopped reading the magazine long ago.

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  • Chante’l

    I am about tired of Steve Harvey.

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  • dvine

    unless he is God, then sorry but Mr. Steve Harvey doesn’t hold all the answers.. I value his opinion but it is just that, an opinion.. what he says is not LAW!

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  • jazzyphile

    He’s right, for the most part.

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