Can Women and Men Be Friends? Steve Harvey Says No
Black America’s faux relationship expert, and the latest cover boy of Essence magazine, made a recent appearance on CNN and officially declared platonic relationships a fallacy.
According the 53-year-old comedian turned radio host, women and men can’t be friends. Harvey told CNN that he’s incapable of having female friends. In promotion of his latest book, Straight Talk No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man, Harvey says this about women’s male friends:
“He’s your friend only because you have made it absolutely clear that nothing else is happening except this friendship we have. We remain your friend in hopes that one day there will be a crack in the door, a chink in the armor and trust and believe that guy that you think is your friend will slide in that crack the moment he gets the opportunity. Cause we’re guys.” Harvey claims that this is the case with women’s male friends 99.9 percent of the time.
Once again, Harvey struts his unempirical “cause we’re men” unsubstantiated relationship advice, and major networks like CNN takes it all in. I know loads of women and men who are genuine friends; they have a sturdy respect for each other, and wouldn’t dare cross the line.
But what do you say? Can women and men truly be friends? Or is a male friend, like Harvey says, only waiting for the opportunity to make a move?
Can women and men be friends? Sound off!
While I don’t consider Mr. Harvey a true relationship guru by any means, I believe he has a very valid point. Mature, responsible men and women CAN remain friends but in my opinion and experience there will always be a point in the friendship that one or both parties consider the “what if…?”. I have had several male friends that I have never crossed that line with BUT have wondered what dating them would be like and vice versa. And, with a lot of male/female friendships, I believe that the woman is the deciding factor on how far things will go. A vast majority of men would be willing to consumate a friendship if given the opportunity.
Just because he sexualizes all women, that doesn’t mean all other dudes do. An analogous argument would be, “I think rainbows are pretty. 99.9% of all guys think rainbows are pretty.”
I appreciate the fact that author refers to him as Black America’s “faux relationship expert,” because the damn truth.
so just because you want to sleep with your friend doesn’t make it a valid relationship?
Steve Harvey’s opinion isn’t worth the bandwidth it’s broadcast on. If women want to keep relying on these old cliches instead of demanding men treat them like equals, good luck with that.
I think everyone who has many failed relationship can be considered an expert to some extent. Sometimes, WE, women hate the truth that certain men give us. I don’t understand why Steve Harvey is constantly under attack. He is a trife dude who probably know trife dudes that women constantly make excuses for. This comment wasn’t really articulated properly.. but I think I see the point he is trying to make. I would possibly add- married men should not acquire new female friends (outside relationships they have at work). My momma even told me that one. It adds to the entire – men are sexual beings – they cannot fight temptation as easy as women ! Fact! Put your man in certain scenarios expecting different results is plain dumb!