This is the question that swirls in my head, every year I hear the occasion mentioned on news sites, blogs and by media commentators. As a non-married young Black woman, I am caught between statistics about divorce rates, unmarried mothers and the husbands we should/might/don’t have. And I get them- I see them. I just feel like I see them all the time.
There’s a definite relevance to the conversation. No one can pretend the numbers, the effects aren’t seen. Whether it the story line plays out in our own lives or in the lives of those we love- our communities have a complicated relationship with marriage.
While I feel the day can inspire a candid dialogue about conditions within African-American communities, I wonder if we spend to much time on this conversation on marriage and the utopia of Black love.
Hear me out.
How many issues with separate roots get easily associated with Black marriage? Keep counting- because I am sure you can come up with a couple more. And perhaps this is where my reluctance to join the hundreds of marriage activists as they celebrate Black Marriage on this particular day because I feel like this conversation permeates our dialogue and inundates us all of the other 364 days of the year.
Black Marriage Day often brings to light the problems in our perception of what marriage itself actually represents. It’s become the land of milk honey, the thing that if we can reach it, we will have achieved what we were meant to in our lives. There’s no doubting that marriage helps foster stronger families and communities, but I do take issue with the assumption that it should take priority in how we measure completion in our lives.
Tell us Clutchettes, what are your thoughts? Does Black Marriage Day inspire a conversation we need to have or one put too much emphasis on?