We live in a very narcissistic society. From constantly updating our Facebook pages to documenting our every move via Twitter, finding people who are concerned with their own lives—and aren’t afraid to share it—is not a difficult task.

But despite all of the hype we create about ourselves and our lives, do we really love ourselves?

I was over on Paul Carrick Brunson’s site OneDegreeFromMe when I happened upon his video entitled, “Do You Love Yourself?”

If you asked most people this question, the overwhelming majority would reflexively answer, “Hell yeah, I love myself!” but this isn’t always the case.

Although we may like ourselves, and hell, may even be cool with who we are (or are becoming), getting to the place of total self-acceptance and self-love can be an arduous task.

With the media constantly bombarding us with messages that we are too fat, too skinny, too bossy, too broke, too ambitious, or [insert any perceived negative attribute here], it’s hard to really love and accept yourself for who you are.

Many people say that you cannot give love if you don’t love yourself first…so Clutchettes and Gents, do you love yourself?

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  • African Mami

    Oh yes I do. I’m a work in progress BUT as cliche as it may sound, if I don’t love myself first, how do you expect me to love another humankind?! Fuck the media and the images it continues to sell and propogate.The same media is made up of individuals who have the same insecurities they tirelessly write about! Hypocritical much?! Magazines constantly showcase one image, a woman who is size 0 as being the ultimate, what about the size 5,7,12,16? She is non-existent? It’s time women realize that the media is in the business of its sales,bullshit and ultimately bottom line. Stop being sold on photoshopped madness. Love yourself and stop loving the falsehoods that the media constantly bombards you with!!!!

  • ALIG83

    No.

  • ChanelA

    honestly? not all the time. its very hard to love yourself as a young black woman when the world is constantly viewing you as ugly and men of your own race avoid you like the plague. where i work i see about 20 black men a day and only 2 or 3 would be with a black woman… that speaks VOLUMES. most men of other races wouldnt dare be caught dead with a black woman on his arm. how the hell can you feel beautiful and love yourself with that stuff going on? sure you can say ” i’m sexy” all day long but lets face it human beings (epecially women) like a little bit of validation. if you call yourself and if NOBODY is trying to get your number or even look at you then it would hurt. it makes you feel beautiful when people compliment you and/or ask you out (even if you’re taken ) it feels nice to know you’re desired.

    its sooo depressing going on youtube and seeing all these videos of black men talking about how much they hate black women (well asian women act the same way towards asian men but thats another post.aha)

    so no i dont love myself most times. how can i?

    • Brina

      Get it together ChanelA!

      Your self love shouldn’t be based on how others view you. You probably aren’t desired because of how you feel about yourself and that’s one of the characters that most men avoid like a plague…A Woman with No Confidence. If you honestly feel that way internally then it probably shows externally and you need to fix that….not for the sake of men/compliments but for your own piece of mind.

      And for the record…all men of other races don’t think that way. Trust me.

    • AN

      I agree with Brina, Chanel take some pointers from her, its called self-esteem “SELF”-esteem dont let any other person validate you. Most likely they are worried about themselves trust me and letting other peoples opinions matter is setting yourself for destruction, they dont matter what matters is what you feel about yourself and once you feel good about yourself it shows, keep hope there is someone out there for you. If i listened to all the negativity hurled at me i wouldnt have found my husband, everyones deals with negative people its part of life never let them validate you hun.

    • chanelA

      @brina @an

      its easier said than done : ( i cant go nowhere without seeing stuff about how much nobody likes black women and how we’re at the bottom of the barrel. i have tried to psyche myself out and try to ignore it but its just way too overwhelming.

      its driving me crazy. one day after watching tv for a while i turned to my boyfriend (like a crazy person) and i told him ” wow, maybe black women ARE the ugliest race.” anything on those commercials regarding beauty are always other races of women and if you ask any man their preference of women they will 8/10 not mention black women. it makes me sad that i let this stuff get to me and that even i am starting to believe it. i dont know how i let it happen but its embedded in my brain and wont go away. like i said its way too overwhelming for me and hard to handle.

      it is very hard to love yourself in this world, especially as a young black woman. if i feel so brainwashed like this way now, just imagine girls younger than me? sorry for the rant but i’m just being 100% honest right now thanks for the advice though, ill keep it with me : )

    • minna k.

      I understand where you are coming from, Chanel A. But YOu know what? Don’t even worry about all of that. If YOU don’t feel as if YOU are at the bottom of the barrel, then you don’t need to accept those kinds of burdens on yourself. They are lies! I am a black woman, and despite hearing that I am SUPPOSED to feel badly about myself in some way shape or form EVERYDAY, I honestly do what is best for me, because that junk is not my F’ing problem, and it really is not yours either, and you don’t need it. You have every right to happiness, just because. And on the flip, you have a right to your own sadness, or anger, as well as mistakes. I think the secret is let these things be YOURS and not someone else’s infliction, becoming your struggle.

  • Brittany

    Yes and sometimes I feel down. But I look at myself and read my journal then I feel better. I came into this world by myself and with that , no one has a right ( they couldn’t anyway) to try to make me feel bad about myself.