Last year it seemed like everyone was talking about the plight of single Black women. From the Nightline special that wondered why successful, educated, and totally available Black women were still unmarried, to the shocking statistics that screamed, “70% of Black women are unmarried!” It seemed like everybody was talking about why many of us weren’t walking down the aisle.

Instead of investigating the root causes of why many of us are single (unrealistic expectations perhaps?), some women bought into the hype and assumed that there was a “black girl curse” that prevented us from having our fantasy wedding.

While many waxed poetic about why we weren’t running down the isle like our White counterparts (who, by the way, are also waiting longer to get married), others declared it was time for Black women to break out of the black dating box and date a White man (or Latino man, or Asian man, or whomever).

In the book, Don’t Bring Home a White Boy, Karyn Langhorne explores the stigma still attached to interracial dating, and why it shouldn’t be a deterrent for Black women looking to find love.

 

Although many Black men have embraced their dating options and have married many non-Black women (Note: the majority of Black men who are married, nearly 80%, are married to Black women), Black women are still slow to embrace interracial dating.

But why?

Why do Black women find it difficult dating White men, when Black men seem to be comfortable embracing all of their options? Are we stuck on stupid or just holding firm to our dream of a Black prince?

So Clutchettes, would you marry a White (or other non-Black) man?

Let’s talk about it!

 

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  • ade

    i feel like non-black men are a lot less open to dating black women in comparison to non-black women’s openness to dating black men. How many of you ladies have been approached by an Asian or White or Latino, etc man? and how often?

    I am totally open to dating a white man but I must admit, I do think it could be possibly a little difficult being that i am so racially conscious. I’d try it though.

    • Ravi

      I saw a study done by a dating website that would support what you are saying. Based on rates of sending messages and answering messages that black women were more open to dating interracially than most people, but were less likely to be sent notes than any other group of women. Moreover, black women were the least likely to have there notes responded to by any race of men.

      I don’t think that black women in general have a problem with not being open to different types of men. That is evidenced by the majority of the posts I’m seeing on this thread. Veritably, quite a few women on here seem to prefer a man that isn’t black.

    • Leah

      @Ravi, not to nitpick but that wasn’t exactly what that study illustrated. The study, performed by the online dating website OkCupid, found that black women are more responsive (i.e. write back ) to men that reach out to them than any other race of women (I should also point out that the study did not measure the number of initial contacts that are sent to black women to determine if they were “less likely to be sent notes than any other group of women”). To put it bluntly, men had a greater chance of receiving a response to their emails if they sent them to a black woman; however OkCupid was not able to determine a reason why. There was nothing in the study that correlated a black woman’s response rate with her desire or openness to interacial dating. Furthermore, the data did not show that black women were “more open to interacial dating than most people”. In fact, the study showed that Asian and Hispanic women preferred white men to the exclusion of almost everyone else (including black men and men of their own race)–they clearly are more interested in interacial dating.

      http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

    • Ravi

      true enough, it did not give the number of initial messages sent. my mistake. not that it changes my original point. The data that is in this study clearly supports that black women are open to dating interracially. The fact that they respond to a message sent by non black men at a higher rate than they do black men demonstrates this. So to also put it bluntly, Black women were more likely to respond to a message when the sender was white than when the sender was black. While this admittedly does not get at the reasons why, a quite reasonable inference is that black women are not close minded when it comes to being receptive to non-black men.

      It’s also a little fishy that you question the data in terms of showing any sort of correlation to black women’s openness to dating non-black men and their response rate, yet you argue that Asian and Hispanic women prefer white men. What is your basis for this? Is it because Asian and Hispanic women respond more often when the sender is white? well given that the differential in responding to a white male sender and responding to their own men is larger with black women than Asian and Hispanic, then what does that suggest about black women’s desire for white men? you can’t have it both ways, either this study can tell us something about desiring white men or it can’t.

  • Yolanda

    I have said this before and I will say it again: I don’t care what color you are.

  • COCOEL

    I would love to marry a brother but they don’t seem interested in me.It appears that if I don’t look like KIm Kardashian or Beyonce I’m not wanted. I love brothers but will go out with who’s interested in me.Period.Me and my girls are starting to travel overseas and I plan to come back and date whoEVER!!!!!! If anything learning new cultures will be fun.

  • Kenia

    I open to dating and marrying a white man/ non black man ;)