Last week actor and singer Tyrese stopped by the Wendy Williams show to promote his new book, How to Get Out of Your Own Way, During his appearance, Wendy asked him why men cheat, and Tyrese in his infinite “wisdom” said that men cheat because they are brought up, and even “expected,” to do so.
Many of you disagreed with Tyrese’s assertion that men are “expected” to cheat, but one reader brought up an interesting point.
While he agreed with the majority of commenters that men are not hard-wired to cheat, he wondered why many of us treat infidelity as if it’s the most heinous thing that can happen in a relationship.
“It is true all men do not cheat sexually and it is probably because they are quite mature and responsible when it comes to their commitment to their partners. However, we need to quit reacting like sexual infidelity is somehow the worst thing that can occur in a relationship. It is a violation of trust and so any behavior that violates the trust between a couple will be equally devastating. We continue to be overly dramatic in our responses to sexual violations of trust but according to the stats financial issues are the number one cause of divorces.”
While financial issues are indeed one of the leading cause of divorce, America has long practiced a seemingly zero tolerance on infidelity. In the book, Lust in Translation, Pamela Druckerman took a look at ideas about infidelity in different countries.
One interesting thing Druckerman found was that although Americans cheat just as much their counterparts around the world, how we deal with adultery is quite different. In France, for instance, Druckerman says people are less confrontational about cheating, while here in America we deal with cheaters head on.
In an interview with NPR, Druckerman says:
“In America, the sort of story goes that you find the e-mail from your husband’s mistress and you march into the living room and you say, I gotcha, you know, this relationship is over. And in France there isn’t an assumption that you would even confront your spouse about what happened. It’s something that you might sense for years and never bring to the surface.”
To be clear, cheating on your partner is one of the biggest violations of trust in any relationship, but should it automatically signal the end?
Clutchettes and Gents, if your partner cheated on you would you stay or would you go?
Let’s talk about it.