Say What? Tyrese Says Men Are Raised To Cheat?!
Today singer-turned-actor Tyrese stopped by the Wendy Williams Show to discuss his new book, How to Get Out Of Your Own Way. If you’ve been following Tyrese on Twitter this year (or if you’re like me, you’re subjected to re-tweets of his words), then you know he’s been trying his best to get his Steve Harvey on. For the past year Tyrese has been doling out relationship “advice” and words of wisdom to his followers, and it’s finally led us here—to a book.
Today, the newly published author, and apparently, relationship “expert” let Wendy Williams in on a little secrete—why men cheat.
When Williams asked Tyrese, why do some men stray away from their relationships, Tyrese sounded less like a guru and more like a man who enjoys the fruits of double standards.
;
“I don’t have all the answers, but I can say that most mothers raised their daughters to believe that if you cook, clean, thoroughly take care of your man and go all out for your man, that should keep him home. Unfortunately that’s not the truth, but I will say to my daughter when she gets old and starts dating is, if you end up being cheated on, don’t own the cheat. Don’t make the cheat yours. It’s something in that skirt and those legs and whatever the case may be, and [he] decided to dip off. Does he see the value in his woman at home? Yes, but if he ends up dipping off, that spaghetti couldn’t keep him at home.”
Hmm. Interesting.
Despite his apparent lackadaisical view of cheating, when Williams asked if Tyrese would be as forgiving and nonchalant about his (future/potential) wife’s infidelities, the crooner sang a totally different tune.
“No way. See, it’s expected of men to cheat, even though all men don’t cheat. I can’t just generalize and say all men cheat, but it’s expected because it’s a part of our upbringing…no listen if your in high school or in college, if one dude has sex with ten different women he is a hero, he’s the champion of the campus. If one woman has sex with ten different guys, they’re all kind of things in the book right?…It’s just a part of what instilled in us growing up.”
While I agree with not blaming yourself for being cheated on, I can’t get with the notion that men are “brought up” to cheat and therefore their partners should “expect” it to happen. Continuing to perpetuate the notion that men must “dip off” into a woman (or man) at any given time is not only false, but reduces men to animals unable to control their urges.
Like Wendy, I call b.s.
But what do you think Clutchettes and Gents? Should we “expect” men to cheat?
[Shout out to Necole Bitchie for the video.]
52 Comments – Add Yours
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i know im late on this but I just realized Tyrese no longer looks hot to me…looks more like my pervy uncle. Maybe its the comments?
I wouldn’t pay a dime for Tyrese’s book. That’s (part) of what’s wrong with the men cheating syndrome in that we continue to (try) to validate that it’s ok to cheat. Also, has Tyrese ever been married?
Obviously this book is all about money. Which duuuuh that’s the point in writing a book…2 make money. Again I wouldn’t spend a dime on this book. I’m so glad Wendy put Tyrese in check.
Weather or not we want to admit it, what he said had a ring of truth to it. Men are raised to believe that if they have more than one women, then it’s ok by societies standard and they are “the man”. You rarely hear a man tell his child to only have one women.
Men and women will always have different views on cheating. No, it should not be expected for a man to cheat, but his point about the difference between a man having multiple partners vs a woman is instilled in us from the beginning.
As far as the book goes, its sad that the people he targets in the book wont read it. I bought the book before seeing this interview and it has some really good points in it.
Superfail for Tyrese.He should stick to music and quit imitating Steve Harvey.I am so sick of men dreaming up any excuse to cheat.Why not be a man for once?
Tyrese insert foot in mouth……Real Men don’t cheat on their wives and children and they hold each other accountable.
I guess we know who we’ll be seeing in his 50s and unmarried…. I ain’t going to marry any man with that type of thinking!
I like Wendy now, and I roll my eyes at Tyrese now.
#signsof2012
Does Tyrese know that women cheat more than men?
Lawd have mercy….another relationship “guru”!…I think black men (and women) should be banned from writing books on relationships unless they have been happily married for over 10 years…..oh wait!…what’s that I hear….*crickets*…..
ROFL :D
I think Tyrese was speaking from what he sees…I see that a lot in my life also with men. No, I will not stay with a man that cheats. But on the whole, I do believe that the majority do.
Some women just don’t want to believe they can be cheated on. He is somewhat right; food, sex, etc; isn’t going to stop a man from cheating…if he wants too. I know a lot of women(married) who did just that and still got cheated on.
I don’t agree with him all the way, but I think he’s saying don’t let the cheat hearbreak take you over. Don’t let it deter your future judgment.
I think what he was saying was misconstrued. He didn’t deliver it the best way, but he was speaking on the age old double standard for women and men. That’s what I got. And it is what it is. It’s more acceptable for men to cheat and/or be promiscuous. Period. Point. Blank. I don’t get the problem. I’m not inclined to take relationship advice from Tyrese, but I don’t relate to the whole disgust with black men giving their opinion on black love. Don’t they have a point of view? Doesn’t make it right or gospel, but they’re allowed to speak on it. As we’re allowed to do what we please. No disrespect to anyone and their opinions but people just look for sh*t to get riled up about. Don’t beat up Tyrese, Steve Harvey, or whoever else wants to run their mouth on black women and relationships. They’ve lived enough to have a say. And we reserve the right not to care. Problem solved.
[...] cliche is completely false — Why? Well, people change and sh*t. Just look at Tyrese (Wait, nevermind. Bad example) — the perceived “truth” of this saying comes from the mouths and minds of the [...]
[...] a cheater” cliche is completely false — Why? Well, people change and sh*t. Just look at Tyrese (Wait, nevermind. Bad example) — the perceived “truth” of this saying comes from the mouths and minds of the hundreds of [...]
“I don’t have all the answers, but I can say that most mothers raised their daughters to believe that if you cook, clean, thoroughly take care of your man and go all out for your man, that should keep him home. ”
SWP Response –
I’m just gonna throw this question out here to all you ladies.
Based off what Tyrese just said – How many of you black women, TRUTHFULLY, were taught to behave this way FOR A BLACK MAN verse taught – black men ain’t gonna amount to anything by ur own mothers?
I mean be it that the overwhelming majority of BW grew up with out a father – WHY would a mother teach her daughter to cater to a black man like that – If the mans not there its obvious the mother is not doing it therefore not setting the example.
What I wanna know – is how many of you black women – obviously the ones who read this – were taught to cook, clean, and take care of man.
I come across way more – STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMEN – than Traditional Wives – when it pertains to black women.
This is a Serious question.
Yeah this is surely the age of the independent woman, and the ‘do for self’ mentality. I too come across more of these women then not. A good number of these independent women (that I know) can’t cook and have no real desire to, and if their curiosity is peeked its only because they’ve been watching the cooking channel.
The experience of the mother has a lot to do with how they raise their daughters.
with that said the same exact thing is true of sons and fathers.
Was Tyresse father a pimp, rolling stone, playa, a creeper or what-have-you?
How did his father view women, holy matrimony, the value of integrity when it comes to a commited relationship? Heck whats his definition of true love and how to maintain it?
Whatever his answers were (and I think we have an idea) he taught it to his son.
I happen to agree with Tyrese. Boys are raised (by society’s standards) to “sow their wild oats” before they marry (and sometimes even during) and girls are taught to be the cook, maid, nanny AND bedmate from birth to mate with one man for life. (I happen to think these standards are full of crap!!) If I ever have a child(ren), I would teach them against these ignorant beliefs.
I think we, as women, should listen more to men when they discuss men instead of being combative like Wendy. Ladies, men know men much better than we do, shut up and listen!
In regards to Tyrese’s comments about cheating, I agree again. Someone’s cheating is not a reflection on the person that is being cheated on. It is the cheater’s “issue”. However, if the person who is being cheated on stays, they must deal whatever the results of that. (However I not saying that because cheating is expected of men it should be more exceptable.)
Tyrese, just shut up!
“I don’t have all the answers, but I can say that most mothers raised their daughters to believe that if you cook, clean, thoroughly take care of your man and go all out for your man, that should keep him home.”
lol. i was just saying this the other day. tyrese is not lying at all.
i believe in my heart that there’s not much a woman can do to keep a man from cheating. if it’s in his dna and value system to do so, nothing you do will keep him from straying – not even the best poon. lmao.
don’t hate on him for being honest.
Tyrese is dumb and when I was younger I used to love this man I mean love but now I see I was in love with his body if you doing you bests believe I’m doing me ( and if your faithful I’ll be also) so all men kno if you cheat and your lady knows and you’ll still together and u haven’t heard about it it’s because she cheated also but didn’t get caught let’s keep it real here