In one of the most important pieces of literature in the 20th century, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston brilliantly captured an unfortunate truth about Black womanhood in the following passage:

So de white man throw down de load and tell de nigger man tuh pick it up. He pick it up because he have to, but he don’t tote it. He hand it to his womenfolks. De nigger woman is de mule uh de world so fur as Ah can see. Ah been prayin’ fur it tuh be different wid you.

My mind wanders to this passage- written in the 1930’s when I think about the constant attack of Black women in the media. The vilification and debasement of Black women has a long, troubled history in America that lingers with its rotten stench into our pseudo post-racial society.

Michelle Obama’s presence in the White House has invoked a plan of sorts, by certain individuals and entities, to defy her image by reinforcing all things negative about Black women.

Every week there is a new study focusing on how and why Black women are at the bottom of the totem pole in the land of the free.

Psychology Today is the most recent culprit participating in the campaign to demean Black women. Evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa deemed it appropriate to write an incredibly flawed article, using equally flawed science titled, “Why Are Black Women Rated Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women?” In April it was Cassandra Dorius, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, whose study found that 59 percent of Black women have children by multiple fathers. Before that it was the abortion ad in SoHo claiming the most dangerous place for a child is in the Black woman’s womb. Prior to the SoHo ad there was the study that found Black women’s median wealth to be $5. And of course, there are the ambiguous studies, articles and broadcast segments that will have you believe Black women, especially successful ones, are so undesirable they cannot find Black men to wed.

Let’s not forget the attacks on Michelle Obama early in her husband’s campaign and inauguration into office. A segment of our very ill and racist society hated the idea of a loving, supportive and intelligent Black woman so much that the erroneous Fox News Network reduced her to a “baby mama.” Her senior thesis at Princeton garnered her the label of a racist. God forbid someone write a thesis on if the Black alumni of Princeton will be “more or less motivated to benefit the Black community.” And her infamous statement, “for the first time in my adult life I’m proud of my country,” where sound bites conveniently clipped “adult life” from the speech, was used as some sort of litmus test to prove how unpatriotic she was.

The image of both President Obama and the First Lady in the White House has been a triumphant victory for Blacks. Not because his policies will essentially pull our community out of its rut, but solely because Barack and Michelle’s image, globally, awakens the world to the multiplicity of Blacks in America. They represent what is far too often ignored.

It is painstakingly obvious that far too many people consider a beautiful, intelligent, elegant, Ivy-league educated couple devoid of scandal as dangerous because it challenges the very depictions of Blacks that support people’s unchallenged biases.

Michelle’s image, in particular, has defied the effects of Regan’s “welfare queen” campaign. Whenever she speaks, her words dispel the idea that we are somehow intellectually inferior. Her very existence is contrary to all of the misguided boxes Black women are placed in–attitudinal, hypersexual, loud, inarticulate and uncouth. And because she represents the countless Black women who are none of those things, dubious forces are operating in overdrive to counter her positive image.

Be very clear about what is happening and what will continue to get worse as idiots, racists and sexists are given platforms. bell hooks eloquently describes it better than I ever could:

So what we see is that the mass media, film, TV, all of these things, are powerful vehicles for maintaining the kinds of systems of domination we live under, imperialism, racism, sexism etc. Often there’s a denial of this and art is presented as politically neutral, as though it is not shaped by a reality of domination.

America cannot comprehend a country where Black women hold advanced degrees; a world where we are more qualified than our White counterparts. It is beyond comprehension for the ilk of the Bill O’Reilleys of the world to imagine a country where not all Blacks were raised in the ‘hood. Our racist nation cannot fathom the legions of Black women who have some of the shared experiences as our First Lady.

As long as Black women are getting ahead of ourselves in thinking we can achieve anything, futile articles on why we’re less attractive will continue to be published. Our reproductive practices will continue to be viewed as a spectacle for everyone to see, and the attacks on our personhood will continue to flourish.

What we must remember is that the media does not define us. They do not understand us, and have no desire to. Know that this is deliberate.

But we must not grow weary. We must continue to uplift one another. Use our voices to tell our multifaceted stories. Our mere existence is a testament against an oppressive system that would rather we continue on as the mules of the world Zora noted decades ago. But like Zora, we must not “weep at the world.” We should be “too busy sharpening our oyster knife.”

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  • Justsaying…

    I don’t honestly think there is a conspiracy against black women now that Michelle Obama is in office.

    I think what’s happening is people are taking a good look at black women’s more often than not SELF-INFLICTED condition (out of wedlock kids, health, rising incarceration rates, etc) and asking a real simple question: Why don’t they take more responsibility for their plight? That is it in a nutshell.

    You have a choice of eating healthy.
    You have a choice of protecting yourself from pregnancy.
    You have a choice of what type of men you deal with.
    You have a choice to pursue education, improve your economic status, and build security.
    You have a choice between potentially being someone’s wife or their babymama.
    This list could go on, but unfortunately too many black women are making BAD choices.

    I think people outside of the black community are starting to see this and black women are now feeling attacked. Personally I have no problem with the media coverage as long as it’s accurate (the so-called study was subjective which makes it crap). Maybe if the media keeps descending some of these chicks will get their lives together and think twice about essentially becoming social misfits and welfare cases. You invite America into your lives when you ask them to pick up the tab with their tax dollars for your mistakes.

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    • Justsaying…

      Also, the conspiracy theory doesn’t hold weight because Michelle Obama isn’t the first black woman to be in the public eye where politics and race are concerned. There have been others who were equally or more successful before her. She might be the first lady, but she isn’t the first black woman to be in the spotlight here.

      I don’t see a connection between her and this new media heatwave on black women. I see it as a sign of the times with the media finally picking up on the fall of the black nuclear family (thanks to the black women single debates) etc. The irony here is that it’s black women who ran to the media with these stories. They opened the door and now it’s free for all who are interested in exploring more.

      It’s similar to media picking up the crack cocaine epidemic five years after crack hit the scene. Once it happened it set off a series of media coverage.

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    • Dave

      Usually dont agree with you but their is a great deal of truth in what you put here.

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    • BluTopaz

      Bullshit.

      What is this ‘Black women are running to the media with their stories’ when the stories usually prefer to lump ALL Black women together regardless of education, income, etc? And when we are doing something positive like being successful in great careers then the story becomes: ‘but why can’t they find men, what’s wrong with them???’ (as opposed to, what’s going on with the men in these groups and how can they measure up), and as if this a problem that is exclusive to only professional Black women. Do you know how many 6 figure White women i have met/overheard or read about crying in their beers because they can’t find husbands? When was the last time you saw the headline “Unmarried Professional White Women: What is the Problem?”

      So if we are single with kids, that’s an issue. If we go to school and do well and don’t marry nor have children, that’s an issue to be dissected over as well by everybody. Damned if we do and so forth and if we don’t fit into either of these camps, we’re told we make about $5 dollars a year or we’re the ugliest women on the planet. And you want to blame Black women for this? How about calmly asserting yourself in an office setting against a red in the face, screaming cursing White girl and being told by HR “everyone knows Suzie just has a strong personality, but why are so dismissive towards her when she only wants to make her point?” Do you see how egregious this is—if they can’t label you as “angry” then you are something else–meanwhile they can be however the f– they want to be.

      Sure personal accountability is important, but if you think it’s a coincidence that all this recent heightened attention over the plight of the American Black woman is not some contrived reaction perhaps you are not media savvy. And as far as Michelle having predecessors, sorry but the image of the FLOTUS carries a lot of weight in this culture and beyond, and besides Oprah, there really has not been anyone near Michelle’s position. And much of this started with Fox referring to her as Obama’s ‘babymama’ and those other fools painting her with an afro. She is a unicorn to a LOT of White people, and it’s more than a coincidence that all this attention has occurred over the past 3 years.

      You also said: “a sign of the times with the media finally picking up on the fall of the black nuclear family (thanks to the black women single debates)’

      Finally? Guess the name Pat Moynihan doesn’t ring a bell for you. This is an old trope that’s been going on for about 4 decades now, it’s nothing brand new. And I am the first one to say someone should not expect others to pay for their mistakes, and I also don’t like being told that I’m part of the problem, especially when all the factors are not being discussed as well. Like you, I don’t get hooking up with loser males and expecting a different outcome. Does that mean every single Black mother should be put under that umbrella and penalized?

      The “media” is not going to differentiate between the screaming hoodrat on Jerry Springer nor the young mom who for whatever reason, is doing her best to raise her child alone. And granted, the ‘how come Black men don’t love us no mo’ rally cry annoys the hell out of me–it paints us all as desperate and feeds many Black male egos.

      We also have many Black women who are happy, successful, married or happily single who are out here and many are writers and bout sick of this–find it odd that you don’t see THEIR stories plastered all over the media? I do.

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    • kim

      So, because this is how you and your mother live, I and all the other black women in the US are guilty of the same? Come on now. There are way too many black women who do not fit the stereotype.

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    • kim

      @Blu,
      Thank You.

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    • Justsaying…

      @BluTopaz

      You need to get mad at THOSE BLACK WOMEN who more often than not CHOOSE to speak on behalf of all black women. I have seen it over and over again. I have seen black single mothers jump up and tell their story and then try to portray it as the story of ALL black women. There have been MANY times where I have thought to myself, “Sit your ass down. As a childless black woman with her life together you don’t speak for me.” So, yeah…black women run to the media and it’s been happening for DECADES now. I grew up watching it happen and chances are if you were coming to age in the mid 1990s you saw it too.

      You said, “And when we are doing something positive like being successful in great careers then the story becomes: ‘but why can’t they find men, what’s wrong with them???’ (as opposed to, what’s going on with the men in these groups and how can they measure up), and as if this a problem that is exclusive to only professional Black women.”

      Again it’s black women who keep running to the media with these “I can’t find a successful black men on my level stories.” If they aren’t on Dateline they are usually writing about it in books and on blogs like this one.

      Also, no one is telling black women to stick to black men. They don’t typically come up in the conversation because everyone knows black women’s single woes can’t realistically be blamed on them.

      You said, “Do you know how many 6 figure White women i have met/overheard or read about crying in their beers because they can’t find husbands? When was the last time you saw the headline “Unmarried Professional White Women: What is the Problem?”

      When was the last time you saw successful white women in mass willing to get on national television and talk about their inability to find a man??? There is the difference.

      You said, “So if we are single with kids, that’s an issue. If we go to school and do well and don’t marry nor have children, that’s an issue to be dissected over as well by everybody. Damned if we do and so forth and if we don’t fit into either of these camps, we’re told we make about $5 dollars a year or we’re the ugliest women on the planet.”

      The educated black women are mainly dissected because they set themselves up to be dissected. This is the group most vocal about their personal lives. Less educated poor black women don’t typically have a problem getting men. This gender war is between the educated successful class…not the poor.

      Also, you’re being dishonest. The $5 dollar study was about net worth….not salary. Considering that many black women have children without marriage it’s possibly true. I’m also sure this doesn’t hold true for successful black women.

      And beauty is subjective.

      You said, “And you want to blame Black women for this?”

      I didn’t say black women were to blame. I said it’s a sign of the times and people are looking at black women’s choices. Again I don’t have a problem with this as long as it’s accurate.

      You said, “Sure personal accountability is important, but if you think it’s a coincidence that all this recent heightened attention over the plight of the American Black woman is not some contrived reaction perhaps you are not media savvy.”

      You must be living in a cave or something. The media attention was THERE before Obama took office boo. The 70% out of wedlock rate was there. The 70% single rate was there. The HIV stats were there. Bill Cosby was going around the country talking about these things BEFORE Obama took office. So please stop selectively remember things. People were talking about these issues BEFORE the Obamas and they will be talking abut them after Obama unless black folks get up and do something about it.

      You said, “And as far as Michelle having predecessors, sorry but the image of the FLOTUS carries a lot of weight in this culture and beyond, and besides Oprah, there really has not been anyone near Michelle’s position. And much of this started with Fox referring to her as Obama’s ‘babymama’ and those other fools painting her with an afro. She is a unicorn to a LOT of White people, and it’s more than a coincidence that all this attention has occurred over the past 3 years.”

      I beg to differ. Condoleezza Rice was considered the most powerful woman in the world at one point and guess what? People were talking about these issues when she was on top too. She was demonized by black media and white media so again the conspiracy theory about all this coming about as a result of Michelle Obama doesn’t hold weight.

      You said, “Finally? Guess the name Pat Moynihan doesn’t ring a bell for you.”

      In fact it does. The report was disputed then by damn near everyone because it wasn’t accurate. Can we say the same today? NO! Which is why the media is finally catching on and saying, “Hey…that guy was wrong when that report came out in the 1960s but he sure as hell isn’t wrong NOW. Let’s look closer at this problem.”

      You said, ” Does that mean every single Black mother should be put under that umbrella and penalized?”

      I’m not personally hurt by most of the media attention because I know they are NOT talking about me. Other black women need to take this same attitude.

      Also, the media isn’t 9 times out of 10 talking about every single black mother. They are talking about the majority who have their kids out of wedlock.

      You said, “We also have many Black women who are happy, successful, married or happily single who are out here and many are writers and bout sick of this–find it odd that you don’t see THEIR stories plastered all over the media? I do.”

      It’s simple: These women don’t seem to be the majority. We know the majority of black women aren’t married. We know the majority of black women who are mothers had them out of wedlock. We know the majority of these women will probably struggle financially. Those of us who are single, successful and free of poor choices are a MINORITY which is why were aren’t seen and heard like the rest.

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    • BluTopaz

      An entire INDUSTRY has been built on White women who are dissatisified with their single lives–why do you think Sex and the City and their knock offs are so popular? And again-do you see that framed as a racial issue? No, because White women are the default. It’s only a race issue when you see the handful of Black women on tv who are talking about their personal lack of choices, and it becomes ‘what is wrong with ALL of them?’ I’ll help you out with your research, if you think this is not an issue for White women as well:

      http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html

      And you forgot one thing about Condoleeza: yes, she was considered the most powerful Black woman in the world. Very powerful and uber educated, and as long as she stays unattached to a powerful man she does not represent the same threat to the image of White womanhood that Michelle does; a devoted wife and mother married to the most powerful man on earth and in a patriarchal society that still trumps a woman with brass balls. And Michelle also happened to be a very successful businesswoman so they can’t even call her a golddigger. And don’t forget: Condoleeza polarizes a lot of people because of her politics, the only people Michelle are pissing off are crazy White nutjobs and for what reason? One guess. Even those who are not on the fringe can’t figure it out: I watched an interview with then Senator Obama and Diane Sawyer, and she kept asking him to elaborate on a very brief passage in one of his books about a romantic relationship he had with a White woman eons ago in college. He answered her question and moved on, but she was reaaaalllly interested to know if he could have actually chosen her to be his life partner. The fact that a very powerful Black man is not married to a White woman has driven a lot of these people insane, because it does not fit into any neat boxes they like to put us in. Condi? Well it’s ok that she is super smart and GWB’s water carrier-no biggie. Did you see any of the racist venom directed towards her by the GOP that we see thrown at Michelle? Wonder why, and no it’s not because she’s a Democrat.

      you also said: ““Hey…that guy was wrong when that report came out in the 1960s but he sure as hell isn’t wrong NOW. Let’s look closer at this problem”

      Do you actually see anyone looking closer at the problem, or merely pointing fingers again? Have you seen any in depth discussions regarding racism in the workplace and how that affects single/married/wed/unwed whateva Black women, or more of the same using the image of Black women as visual shorthand for welfare queens? Let’s discuss how most welfare recipients are White. And more stati–let’s discuss how unwed pregnant White teenagers are more likely to have abortions as opposed to Black girls giving birth. I am not saying one is better than the other, but let’s talk about all the factors in society. Sure there are some families where generational dependence on social services are the norm. I don’t see the same level of discussion on racism in the workplace, esp now with even Black grad school professionals not finding jobs at the same level as their White counterparts. It’s not as simplistic as ‘well they’re single mothers causing the downfall of western society blah’ and you sound just as bad as a lot of the right wing pundits.

      “Those of us who are single, successful and free of poor choices are a MINORITY which is why were aren’t seen and heard like the rest.”

      Sounds like you are more concerned with seperating yourself from what you think are the masses. Anyone spending a day just reading Black women’s blogs (like this one) would take away geez, they are educated, opinionated, some single, some married, funny, angry, nice, bitchy, whatever–you know, diverse. But you keep on thinking all of us are defined by which statistic we fit into, if it keeps you happy.

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    • BluTopaz

      Why do you think Sex and the City and all their knock offs are so popular, if White women are not discussing this as well? But in case you need help with research:

      http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html

      Now go through that and see if there are any descriptors identifying the plight of White women as being so bad, it must be singled out ad nauseum.

      As for Condi, yes at one point she was the most powerful woman in the world but you forgot something: she wasn’t married to the most powerful man and didn’t represent the epitoome of womanhood for a lot of people: the ideal wife and mother to a powerful man. As long as we’re in a patriarchal society that still trumps a woman being considered powerful, unfortunately. So she is super smart and was GWB’s water carrier-no biggie. Do you see the the media throwing the same level of racist venom at her as they do Michelle and no, it’s not because she is Dem. Hell, Bush had people throwing shoes at him and still Laura was not the focus of hatred the way Michelle is, she must be doing something right I say.

      “Also, the media isn’t 9 times out of 10 talking about every single black mother. They are talking about the majority who have their kids out of wedlock.” Where are you getting this statistic?

      “The educated black women are mainly dissected because they set themselves up to be dissected. This is the group most vocal about their personal lives.” Set themselves up or talk amongst themselves–sounds like you are generalizing about the handful of panels you have seen on Nightline and justifying the broad brush treatment.

      “guy was wrong when that report came out in the 1960s but he sure as hell isn’t wrong NOW. Let’s look closer at this problem.” Is anyone actually looking at the problem or still pointing fingers?

      “Those of us who are single, successful and free of poor choices are a MINORITY which is why were aren’t seen and heard like the rest.”

      Anyone just reading Black women’s blogs could come away with geez they’re educated, opinionated, crazy, funny, sweet tempered, bitchy, whateva–you know, diverse. You continue living your life feeling defined by statistics you may or may not fit into, if it makes you feel superior.

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    • BluTopaz

      –apologies for any dbl posts!!!—

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    • Jess

      You all, just ignore JustSaying.

      He/she is full of straight up bullshit.

      Arnold Schwazenegger just cheated on his wife with a Latina, and the head of the IMF has been running up and attacking African ladies, but where are all the headlines about “What’s wrong with white women??? Why are their men leaving them for non-white women??”

      White people have the highest rates of genetic diseases, white men were the first to have HIV/Aids, white wome have the highest rates of throat cancer and throat ghonorrea, white people have all kinds of trashy people on Jerry Springer”, but where are all the statistics about them? Or about Asian women? Or anybody else?

      Why are all the Black male comedians asked to put on fat suits, bad makeup and wigs and told to make fun of Black women? I see WAYY more white women who are obese and tons of other non-blacks who are fat, but we’re the only ones who get made fun of. Where are the back-to-back derogatory word and movies for other women? Why are there studies out now saying that ALL other women are beautiful, except Black women?

      Nowhere, they are almost exclusively reserved for Black women. It’s absolute racist attacks on Black women, non-stop. So Shut the F*ck up, Just Saying. You’re way off base and probably just some stringy haired white chick talking trash.

      THERE IS A DEFINITE CAMPAIGN AGAINST BLACK WOMEN.

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    • Justsaying…

      @Blutopaz

      You said, “An entire INDUSTRY has been built on White women who are dissatisified with their single lives–why do you think Sex and the City and their knock offs are so popular? And again-do you see that framed as a racial issue? No, because White women are the default. It’s only a race issue when you see the handful of Black women on tv who are talking about their personal lack of choices, and it becomes ‘what is wrong with ALL of them?’”

      You know Sex and the City was based on WAITING TO EXHALE right? Forrest Whitaker sued Showtime for stealing his idea. So black women hit that ground BEFORE white women.

      The argument with black women being mass single isn’t framed as a racial issue either. It’s framed as a social issue that affects black women more so than any other race of women. I mean no matter how you try to slice it that much is true.

      I think the issue become one of “white is wrong with all of them” when those women 1). Proceed to talk for the collective and 2). When the media points out (accurately so) that only 29% of black women are actually married. No other race of women is affected so greatly by this issue as black women.

      You said, “I’ll help you out with your research, if you think this is not an issue for White women as well:”

      I never said this wasn’t an issue for white women. You actually brought them into the conversation…not me. I don’t know why black women automatically go to white women when the conversation is about BLACK WOMEN. Collective white women are getting married. The same is not true for black women. You are comparing apples to oranges.

      You said, “And you forgot one thing about Condoleeza: yes, she was considered the most powerful Black woman in the world.”

      I called her the most powerful WOMAN in the world. I didn’t stick her race to it. Notice how you continue to do that.

      You said, “Very powerful and uber educated, and as long as she stays unattached to a powerful man she does not represent the same threat to the image of White womanhood that Michelle does; a devoted wife and mother married to the most powerful man on earth and in a patriarchal society that still trumps a woman with brass balls.”

      This statement is ridiculous. As long as white men are running things (and they are…even with Barack in office) white women will never have to feel threatened. That is the truth.

      Furthermore, I think anyone can look around and see the condition of black people in this condition. There is nothing to be threatened by. Michelle Obama is ONE black woman and anyone being honest with themselves will admit she is one of the exceptions. Most black women don’t have a college education least of all one from two IVY LEAGUE universities. Most college educated black women don’t have a biracial man who equally shares their educational level. Most black women don’t share Michelle Obama physique etc.

      You said, “And Michelle also happened to be a very successful businesswoman so they can’t even call her a golddigger.”

      It’s not whites who usually brand black women golddiggers…plus Barack Obama wasn’t a rich man when they met.

      You said, “And don’t forget: Condoleeza polarizes a lot of people because of her politics, the only people Michelle are pissing off are crazy White nutjobs and for what reason?”

      Only people I see polorized by Condoleeza Rice are the less educated and black folks who subscribe to groupthink. She caught it more from black people than anyone else. These people don’t know a thing about her background. They simply see her as a trader to her race. Why doesn’t anyone ever mention these crazy black nutjobs?? I don’t think it’s solely racial. I think it stems from ignorance from both sides.

      You said, “One guess. Even those who are not on the fringe can’t figure it out: I watched an interview with then Senator Obama and Diane Sawyer, and she kept asking him to elaborate on a very brief passage in one of his books about a romantic relationship he had with a White woman eons ago in college. He answered her question and moved on, but she was reaaaalllly interested to know if he could have actually chosen her to be his life partner.”

      Diane Sawyer had a job to do. She didn’t pick the questions. And those shows are about ratings so they are going to try to cross the line (ex. Chris Brown and Rihanna).

      You said, “The fact that a very powerful Black man is not married to a White woman has driven a lot of these people insane, because it does not fit into any neat boxes they like to put us in. Condi? Well it’s ok that she is super smart and GWB’s water carrier-no biggie. Did you see any of the racist venom directed towards her by the GOP that we see thrown at Michelle? Wonder why, and no it’s not because she’s a Democrat.”

      Barack Obama is a very powerful BIRACIAL man…one that some whites identify with. I am going to prove you wrong with the ridiculous notions you are sprewing. Look up this guy: Harold Ford Jr. He is a black man who was in politics who married a WHITE WOMAN. Guess what happened to his career? It went to hell. Neither blacks nor whites liked his mate choice. His family is successful. He is a successful man. Some would argue he picked the wrong race of woman to marry.

      Whites don’t have a problem with Barack Obama picking a black woman. They would however have a problem with if she were white. He wouldn’t even have a career. That is the truth. The fact that some of you are trying to push this idea in reverse shows your own insecurity. I agree some whites probably have a problem with Michelle Obama but I think those issues are purely racial…not deeper involving her relationship with Barack. They would rather see him with a black woman than a white woman. Bet on that.

      Furthermore, both Condi and Colin faced racism from both sides (democrats and republicans alike).

      you also said: “Do you actually see anyone looking closer at the problem, or merely pointing fingers again? Have you seen any in depth discussions regarding racism in the workplace and how that affects single/married/wed/unwed whateva Black women, or more of the same using the image of Black women as visual shorthand for welfare queens?”

      As a matter of fact I do, but these people don’t get the media attention they deserve. There are black intellectuals studying and writing about the problem. They are simply not as well-known as the Steve Harvey’s black women chose to focus on.

      I think most people are tired of black folks making racism the scapegoat for all their issues and poor choices. I don’t blame them. I sick of it too. Racism isn’t stopping black women from advancing in a lot of case…poor choices are.

      I don’t see black women doing anything at all to combat the stereotype of the welfare queen. I see chicks popping out babies as young as 15. I see women having babies (plural) out of wedlock. Get that under control and then complain about the stereotype.

      You said,”Let’s discuss how most welfare recipients are White.”

      Bringing whites into the conversation about black women AGAIN.

      Yes, let’s discuss how whites (the majority) population are 38% of welfare recipents and black folks (the minority) population are 37% of welfare recipients. I don’t think you really want to have this conversation.

      You said, “And more stati–let’s discuss how unwed pregnant White teenagers are more likely to have abortions as opposed to Black girls giving birth.”

      I don’t know what the numbers are for whites but the black abortion rate is approaching 19 million…nothing to be proud of and nothing to compare to other races.

      You said, ” It’s not as simplistic as ‘well they’re single mothers causing the downfall of western society blah’ and you sound just as bad as a lot of the right wing pundits.”

      Actually it simply comes down to personal accountability…everyone need to accept it. I sound like I got some sense..an oddity on this thread of the delusional.

      You said, “Sounds like you are more concerned with seperating yourself from what you think are the masses. But you keep on thinking all of us are defined by which statistic we fit into, if it keeps you happy.”

      With good reason too. Again I didn’t say nothing about ALL of us. You keep taking my words and the media as encompassing all of us.

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    • Justsaying…

      @Jess

      You said, “Arnold Schwazenegger just cheated on his wife with a Latina, and the head of the IMF has been running up and attacking African ladies, but where are all the headlines about “What’s wrong with white women??? Why are their men leaving them for non-white women??”

      I don’t see this with black women either so what the heck are you talking about??? Usually in this day and age if a black man leaves a black woman for a non-black woman he was NEVER married to her to begin with. And it’s black women who usually take black men dating non-black women as a personal affront. Then they turn to the media and starting singing the same old woe is me song.

      You said, “White people have the highest rates of genetic diseases, white men were the first to have HIV/Aids, white wome have the highest rates of throat cancer and throat ghonorrea, white people have all kinds of trashy people on Jerry Springer”, but where are all the statistics about them? Or about Asian women? Or anybody else?”

      They are out there obviously you found them but you CHOOSE to focus on the negative media about black folks.

      You asked, “Why are all the Black male comedians asked to put on fat suits, bad makeup and wigs and told to make fun of Black women? I see WAYY more white women who are obese and tons of other non-blacks who are fat, but we’re the only ones who get made fun of. Where are the back-to-back derogatory word and movies for other women? Why are there studies out now saying that ALL other women are beautiful, except Black women?”

      This is what I mean by delusional. Boo no one ask black male comedians to dress like women. THEY DO IT COMPLETELY ON THEIR OWN. They do it to get rich and to get laughs. No one has to con them into anything. Black men will throw your ass under the bus with a quickness and it’s because they want to do it. Or are you foolish enough to believe otherwise.

      You said, ” It’s absolute racist attacks on Black women, non-stop. So Shut the F*ck up, Just Saying. You’re way off base and probably just some stringy haired white chick talking trash.”

      Honey I’m a black woman and unlike the rest of you I know how to brush B.S. off my shoulder. I personally believe a flame NEEDS to be lit under the black women out here not pulling their weight. That is the only way I can see the situation getting better.

      Funny how you talk about racism in ONE BREATH and then make a racist comment in the next. Please check yourself!

      0
    • Justsaying…

      Correction Forrest sued HBO.

      0
    • BluTopaz

      @JS

      “You know Sex and the City was based on WAITING TO EXHALE right? Forrest Whitaker sued Showtime for stealing his idea. So black women hit that ground BEFORE white women.”

      Why would he do that, when Terry McMillan wrote WTE? And who said SATC was based on WTE? How do you know it wasn’t based on Girlfriends, or even Living Single?

      Even if this was true, it still does not negate that it’s a hugely popular theme with a lot of single White women because it resonates with them. And I’ll ask it again–do you see this being framed as a White women’s problem? And yep, I’ll bring up White people on a Black blog because none of us are in a vacuum, and why Black women are constantly targeted with the broad brush of being one demographic.

      “The argument with black women being mass single isn’t framed as a racial issue either. It’s framed as a social issue that affects black women more so than any other race of women. I mean no matter how you try to slice it that much is true.”

      And you’re trying to say the media is not malicious in its constant framing as Black women as non-marriage material, esp, since there are plenty Black women who are married and happy who we never seem to hear from on CNN-guess they don’t exist.

      “I called her the most powerful WOMAN in the world. I didn’t stick her race to it. Notice how you continue to do that. ”

      So she was the most powerful woman–your argument that there were others before Michelle doesn’t hold water here because Condi represented something totally different.

      “This statement is ridiculous. As long as white men are running things (and they are…even with Barack in office) white women will never have to feel threatened. That is the truth.”

      Tell that to the racists that you have spent the last three years calling Michelle everything but a child of God they have nothing to fear. I don’t think they know their roles are secure, THEIR insecurities are drowning them out.

      “Michelle Obama is ONE black woman and anyone being honest with themselves will admit she is one of the exceptions. Most black women don’t have a college education least of all one from two IVY LEAGUE universities. Most college educated black women don’t have a biracial man who equally shares their educational level. Most black women don’t share Michelle Obama physique etc”.

      Sounds like you think Michelle is one of those unicorns also. My sister raised 3 college kids alone, sound like a stereotype? She is now one of the top technology experts in the country, and her kids are adults and raising traditional families as well. And her sorors are the same, and we are always laughing about the double takes when colleagues meet her the first time. Michelle has commented herself that there are plenty professional Black women like her, and she wants young Black girls and women to see themselves in her. Look at Valerie Jarrett, Desiree Rogers, etc. If you stop watching so much trash tv and look around you might learn something.

      But if you want to talk numbers let’s look at real ones from http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/26/marriage-and-women-over-40/
      :
      “Overall marriage rates are lower among African-Americans, but black women don’t incur a “marriage penalty” when they pursue college degrees. Among black women, 70 percent of college graduates are married by 40″ from”

      70 % of Black women college grads get married. Sure stats are often skewed, but when they are slanted in a way that does not make us look like spinsters it’s never blasted from the rooftops, is it.

      “Only people I see polorized by Condoleeza Rice are the less educated and black folks who subscribe to groupthink. She caught it more from black people than anyone else. These people don’t know a thing about her background. They simply see her as a trader to her race. Why doesn’t anyone ever mention these crazy black nutjobs??”

      Yes, and Black people who disagree with Condi being a war criminal (me being one of them) are making the same amount of noise as Palin & Co. bitching about Michelle trying to get kids to eat right, or her wearing sleeveless tops, or not loving her country, or, or… Talk about apples & oranges. I actually find her upbringing interesting esp growing up in the deep South- but still think she’s a criminal because of her actions.

      “Diane Sawyer had a job to do. She didn’t pick the questions. And those shows are about ratings so they are going to try to cross the line (ex. Chris Brown and Rihanna)”
      .
      How do you know she did not pick the questions? Obama also talked about Black women he had relationships with, interesting why she didn’t ask about them, isn’t it

      “Barack Obama is a very powerful BIRACIAL man…one that some whites identify with. I am going to prove you wrong with the ridiculous notions you are sprewing. Look up this guy: Harold Ford Jr. He is a black man who was in politics who married a WHITE WOMAN. Guess what happened to his career? It went to hell. Neither blacks nor whites liked his mate choice. His family is successful. He is a successful man. Some would argue he picked the wrong race of woman to marry.

      I don’t know much about Ford’s career other than the controversial ad, but now you can prove to me that his career tanked because he married a White woman. Was it the same way Clarence Thomas’s career flopped because he married a White woman?

      “I agree some whites probably have a problem with Michelle Obama but I think those issues are purely racial… ”

      A lot of the ugly comments I’ve heard about her don’t even mention Barack-it’s often HER they have a problem with and that’s telling.

      “I don’t see black women doing anything at all to combat the stereotype of the welfare queen. ”

      Now I know you are out of your freaking mind. No self respecting Black woman is going to generalize ALL Black women like this. If you are Black and this is all you see around you then you need to move. Seriously. Or maybe you are a White troll as suggested above. Sorry to disappoint but I don’t fit into any little ugly boxes, and neither of my friends/colleagues ‘popping out babies’ and we’re all 100% Black, and not looking for a pat on the back either.

      “Actually it simply comes down to personal accountability…”

      And you are not the only one who is using it, as much as you’d like to think you’re unique.

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    • Justsaying…

      @BluTopaz

      You said, “Why would he do that, when Terry McMillan wrote WTE? And who said SATC was based on WTE? How do you know it wasn’t based on Girlfriends, or even Living Single?”

      It’s a fact that HBO did not deny. You can look it up. I think he pitched them an idea for a show about four black women and they stole the concept and made Sex and The City. I read about it not too long ago. The case was settled.

      You said, “Even if this was true, it still does not negate that it’s a hugely popular theme with a lot of single White women because it resonates with them. And I’ll ask it again–do you see this being framed as a White women’s problem? And yep, I’ll bring up White people on a Black blog because none of us are in a vacuum, and why Black women are constantly targeted with the broad brush of being one demographic.”

      And I’ll say it again…it’s not really a white woman’s problem because white women collectively ARE getting married. They may not be staying married but they are getting there and therefore are not lacking for men. That is simply what it comes down to with them. They don’t have the single market on lock.

      You said, “And you’re trying to say the media is not malicious in its constant framing as Black women as non-marriage material, esp, since there are plenty Black women who are married and happy who we never seem to hear from on CNN-guess they don’t exist.”

      How can it be malicious when it’s usually BLACK WOMEN who volunteer to speak on camera during these programs? It would be one thing if black women weren’t being used in news segment about themselves but that is not the case. There are black women like Sherri Shepherd (who has a man) jumping up and volunteering for this stuff. And if you call 29-30% plenty I’m going to have to give you the side-eye.

      You said, “So she was the most powerful woman–your argument that there were others before Michelle doesn’t hold water here because Condi represented something totally different.”

      I agree she actually had POWER and therefore was a BIGGER threat that Michelle Obama. Yet you and the rest of the “don’t make any sense” set keep trying to say, “that Michelle Obama is the most powerful black woman we have every seen and therefore the reason for all the hate.” Whatever power Michelle has it comes from being married to Barack…meaning HE not she has some power. She is purely a symbol in the background like all other first ladies. Condi actually had a job. She had pull. I would argue that she was more powerful in her time than Michelle Obama.

      You said, “Tell that to the racists that you have spent the last three years calling Michelle everything but a child of God they have nothing to fear. I don’t think they know their roles are secure, THEIR insecurities are drowning them out.”

      Exactly you are talking about racist-people known for living in fear–while I’m talking about common everyday white folks. They don’t see her as a threat. I imagine most of you must not associate with too many white people. White women see ASIAN women as a threat…not black women.

      You said, “Sounds like you think Michelle is one of those unicorns also. ”

      She IS and the number prove it. Denial won’t change the situation.

      You said, “My sister raised 3 college kids alone, sound like a stereotype? She is now one of the top technology experts in the country, and her kids are adults and raising traditional families as well. And her sorors are the same, and we are always laughing about the double takes when colleagues meet her the first time. Michelle has commented herself that there are plenty professional Black women like her, and she wants young Black girls and women to see themselves in her. Look at Valerie Jarrett, Desiree Rogers, etc. If you stop watching so much trash tv and look around you might learn something.”

      Plenty? NO! Only about 19% of black people even have a bachelor’s degree. No is denying that there are professional black women. The problem here comes when black women actually sit around believing those are the MAJORITY or even HALF of the black female population: They are not. The vast majority of black women do not have a college education. If you stop sticking your head up your put and actually read something you might learn something.

      You said, “70 % of Black women college grads get married. Sure stats are often skewed, but when they are slanted in a way that does not make us look like spinsters it’s never blasted from the rooftops, is it.”

      Again you are talking about a SMALL group of people. College educated black women aren’t the majority. Those are most often the individuals getting on TV talking about their marriage woes…not the hood chicks. So something is amiss even with the link you offered. I can go across the internet right now and find 50 or so articles about marriage evading college educated black women.

      You said, “Yes, and Black people who disagree with Condi being a war criminal (me being one of them) are making the same amount of noise as Palin & Co. bitching about Michelle trying to get kids to eat right, or her wearing sleeveless tops, or not loving her country, or, or… Talk about apples & oranges. I actually find her upbringing interesting esp growing up in the deep South- but still think she’s a criminal because of her actions.”

      If you say so. So it’s okay for you to bitch about Condi but it’s not okay for them to bitch about Michelle? Alrighty then.
      .
      You said, “How do you know she did not pick the questions? Obama also talked about Black women he had relationships with, interesting why she didn’t ask about them, isn’t it.”

      If you did you research you would know this…they have a job to do and they are typically told what question TO ASK. Please refer to Chris Brown’s last interview with Good Morning America.

      You said, “I don’t know much about Ford’s career other than the controversial ad, but now you can prove to me that his career tanked because he married a White woman. Was it the same way Clarence Thomas’s career flopped because he married a White woman?”

      Clarence Thomas didn’t have a career in politics. He had one in LAW. Again and apples and oranges comparison. Harold Ford Jr. ran for a public office. There is a difference. And yes, the white woman shot his career to hell (though I am sure there were other bumps in the road). Google him.

      You said, “A lot of the ugly comments I’ve heard about her don’t even mention Barack-it’s often HER they have a problem with and that’s telling.”

      I’ve heard this from BLACK PEOPLE too. I’ve heard black people call her unattrative. So, it’s not just the white folks doing this.

      You said, “Now I know you are out of your freaking mind. No self respecting Black woman is going to generalize ALL Black women like this. If you are Black and this is all you see around you then you need to move. Seriously. Or maybe you are a White troll as suggested above. Sorry to disappoint but I don’t fit into any little ugly boxes, and neither of my friends/colleagues ‘popping out babies’ and we’re all 100% Black, and not looking for a pat on the back either.”

      I’m just honest. With a 70% out of wedlock rate it’s true black women aren’t doing anything to combat the stereotype. Keep living in denial. It would be different if that number were 10% but no over half of black children are born out of wedlock and a great deal of black women have their children by more than ONE man. It’s not about self-respect. These chicks don’t represent me. It’s about reality. The welfare queen stereotype has largely stuck because black women have done NOTHING as a collective to combat it. You keep pointing to yourself and your friends….you are not the only black women out here. Open your eyes.

      You said, “And you are not the only one who is using it, as much as you’d like to think you’re unique.”

      Try using logic and not resorting to personal attacks because you don’t like my thoughts. I never said I was the only individual using anything.

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    • Justsaying…

      You said, “Why would he do that, when Terry McMillan wrote WTE? And who said SATC was based on WTE? How do you know it wasn’t based on Girlfriends, or even Living Single?”

      It’s a fact that HBO did not deny. You can look it up. I think he pitched them an idea for a show about four black women and they stole the concept and made Sex and The City. I read about it not too long ago. The case was settled.

      You said, “Even if this was true, it still does not negate that it’s a hugely popular theme with a lot of single White women because it resonates with them. And I’ll ask it again–do you see this being framed as a White women’s problem? And yep, I’ll bring up White people on a Black blog because none of us are in a vacuum, and why Black women are constantly targeted with the broad brush of being one demographic.”

      And I’ll say it again…it’s not really a white woman’s problem because white women collectively ARE getting married. They may not be staying married but they are getting there and therefore are not lacking for men. That is simply what it comes down to with them. They don’t have the single market on loc.

      You said, “And you’re trying to say the media is not malicious in its constant framing as Black women as non-marriage material, esp, since there are plenty Black women who are married and happy who we never seem to hear from on CNN-guess they don’t exist.”

      How can it be malicious when it’s usually BLACK WOMEN who volunteer to speak on camera during these programs? It would be one thing if black women weren’t being used in news segment about themselves but that is not the case. There are black women like Sherri Shepherd (who has a man) jumping up and volunteering for this stuff. And if you call 29-30% plenty I’m going to have to give you the side eye.

      You said, “So she was the most powerful woman–your argument that there were others before Michelle doesn’t hold water here because Condi represented something totally different.”

      I agree she actually had POWER and therefore was a BIGGER threat that Michelle Obama. Yet you and the rest of the “don’t make any sense” set keep trying to say, “that Michelle Obama is the most powerful black woman we have every seen and therefore the reason for all the hate.” Whatever power Michelle has it comes from being married to Barack…meaning HE not she has some power. She is purely a symbol in the background like all other first ladies. Condi actually had a job. She had pull. I would argue that she was more powerful in her time than Michelle Obama.

      You said, “Tell that to the racists that you have spent the last three years calling Michelle everything but a child of God they have nothing to fear. I don’t think they know their roles are secure, THEIR insecurities are drowning them out.”

      Exactly you are talking about racist-people known for living in fear–while I’m talking about common everyday white folks. They don’t see her as a threat. I imagine most of you must not associate with too many white people. White women see ASIAN women as a threat…not black women.

      You said, “Sounds like you think Michelle is one of those unicorns also. ”

      She IS and the numbers prove it. Denial won’t change the situation.

      You said, “My sister raised 3 college kids alone, sound like a stereotype? She is now one of the top technology experts in the country, and her kids are adults and raising traditional families as well. And her sorors are the same, and we are always laughing about the double takes when colleagues meet her the first time. Michelle has commented herself that there are plenty professional Black women like her, and she wants young Black girls and women to see themselves in her. Look at Valerie Jarrett, Desiree Rogers, etc. If you stop watching so much trash tv and look around you might learn something.”

      Plenty? NO! Only about 19% of black people even have a bachelor’s degree. No is denying that there are professional black women. The problem here comes when black women actually sit around believing those are the MAJORITY or even HALF of the black female population: They are not. The vast majority of black women do not have a college education and almost half don’t complete high school. If you stop sticking your head up your put and actually read something you might learn something.

      You said, “70 % of Black women college grads get married. Sure stats are often skewed, but when they are slanted in a way that does not make us look like spinsters it’s never blasted from the rooftops, is it.”

      Again you are talking about a SMALL group of people. College educated black women aren’t the majority. Those are most often the individuals getting on TV talking about their marriage woes…not lower class less educated chicks. So something is amiss even with the link you offered. I can go across the internet right now and find 50 or so articles about marriage evading college educated black women.

      Continued…

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    • Justsaying…

      You said, “Yes, and Black people who disagree with Condi being a war criminal (me being one of them) are making the same amount of noise as Palin & Co. bitching about Michelle trying to get kids to eat right, or her wearing sleeveless tops, or not loving her country, or, or… Talk about apples & oranges. I actually find her upbringing interesting esp growing up in the deep South- but still think she’s a criminal because of her actions.”

      If you say so. But don’t get mad at someone for doing something you are just as guilty of doing.
      .
      You said, “How do you know she did not pick the questions? Obama also talked about Black women he had relationships with, interesting why she didn’t ask about them, isn’t it.”

      If you did you research you would know this…they have a job to do and they are typically told what questions TO ASK. Please refer to Chris Brown’s last interview with Good Morning America.

      You said, “I don’t know much about Ford’s career other than the controversial ad, but now you can prove to me that his career tanked because he married a White woman. Was it the same way Clarence Thomas’s career flopped because he married a White woman?”

      Clarence Thomas didn’t have a career in politics. He had one in LAW. Again and apples and oranges comparison. Harold Ford Jr. ran for a public office. There is a difference. And yes, the white woman shot his career to hell (though I am sure there were other bumps in the road). Google him.

      You said, “A lot of the ugly comments I’ve heard about her don’t even mention Barack-it’s often HER they have a problem with and that’s telling.”

      I’ve heard this from BLACK PEOPLE too. I’ve heard black people call her unattractive. So, it’s not just the white folks doing this.

      You said, “Now I know you are out of your freaking mind. No self respecting Black woman is going to generalize ALL Black women like this. If you are Black and this is all you see around you then you need to move. Seriously. Or maybe you are a White troll as suggested above. Sorry to disappoint but I don’t fit into any little ugly boxes, and neither of my friends/colleagues ‘popping out babies’ and we’re all 100% Black, and not looking for a pat on the back either.”

      I’m just honest. With a 70% out of wedlock rate it’s true black women aren’t doing anything to combat the stereotype. Keep living in denial. It would be different if that number were 10% but no over half of black children are born out of wedlock and a great deal of black women have their children by more than ONE man. It’s not about self-respect. These women don’t represent me so no self-respect is lost. It’s about reality. The welfare queen stereotype has largely stuck because black women have done NOTHING as a collective to combat it. You keep pointing to yourself and your friends….you are not the only black women out here. Open your eyes.

      You said, “And you are not the only one who is using it, as much as you’d like to think you’re unique.”

      Try using logic and not resorting to personal attacks because you don’t like my thoughts. I never said I was the only individual using anything.

      **I broke my comment down because it was NOT post.

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    • Justsaying…

      You said, “Yes, and Black people who disagree with Condi being a war criminal (me being one of them) are making the same amount of noise as Palin & Co. —–about Michelle trying to get kids to eat right, or her wearing sleeveless tops, or not loving her country, or, or… Talk about apples & oranges. I actually find her upbringing interesting esp growing up in the deep South- but still think she’s a criminal because of her actions.”

      If you say so. But don’t get mad at someone for doing something you are just as guilty of doing.
      .
      You said, “How do you know she did not pick the questions? Obama also talked about Black women he had relationships with, interesting why she didn’t ask about them, isn’t it.”

      If you did you research you would know this…they have a job to do and they are typically told what questions TO ASK. Please refer to Chris Brown’s last interview with Good Morning America.

      You said, “I don’t know much about Ford’s career other than the controversial ad, but now you can prove to me that his career tanked because he married a White woman. Was it the same way Clarence Thomas’s career flopped because he married a White woman?”

      Clarence Thomas didn’t have a career in politics. He had one in LAW. Again and apples and oranges comparison. Harold Ford Jr. ran for a public office. There is a difference. And yes, the white woman shot his career to hell (though I am sure there were other bumps in the road). Google him.

      Continued…

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    • Justsaying…

      You said, “A lot of the ugly comments I’ve heard about her don’t even mention Barack-it’s often HER they have a problem with and that’s telling.”

      I’ve heard this from BLACK PEOPLE too. I’ve heard black people call her unattractive. So, it’s not just the white folks doing this.

      You said, “Now I know you are out of your freaking mind. No self respecting Black woman is going to generalize ALL Black women like this. If you are Black and this is all you see around you then you need to move. Seriously. Or maybe you are a White troll as suggested above. Sorry to disappoint but I don’t fit into any little ugly boxes, and neither of my friends/colleagues ‘popping out babies’ and we’re all 100% Black, and not looking for a pat on the back either.”

      I’m just honest. With a 70% out of wedlock rate it’s true black women aren’t doing anything to combat the stereotype. Keep living in denial. It would be different if that number were 10% but no over half of black children are born out of wedlock and a great deal of black women have their children by more than ONE man. It’s not about self-respect. These women don’t represent me so no self-respect is lost. It’s about reality. The welfare queen stereotype has largely stuck because black women have done NOTHING as a collective to combat it. You keep pointing to yourself and your friends….you are not the only black women out here. Open your eyes.

      You said, “And you are not the only one who is using it, as much as you’d like to think you’re unique.”

      I never said I was the only individual using anything. Please stop with the personal attacks.

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    • Justsaying…

      *I brought my comment down because it wasn’t posting.

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    • Justsaying…

      *Broke

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    • Isis

      Again I agree with Justsaying

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    • Jess

      @BluTopaz:
      “And you forgot one thing about Condoleeza: yes, she was considered the most powerful Black woman in the world. Very powerful and uber educated, and as long as she stays unattached to a powerful man she does not represent the same threat to the image of White womanhood that Michelle does; a devoted wife and mother married to the most powerful man on earth and in a patriarchal society that still trumps a woman with brass balls. And Michelle also happened to be a very successful businesswoman so they can’t even call her a golddigger. And don’t forget: Condoleeza polarizes a lot of people because of her politics, the only people Michelle are pissing off are crazy White nutjobs and for what reason? One guess. Even those who are not on the fringe can’t figure it out: I watched an interview with then Senator Obama and Diane Sawyer, and she kept asking him to elaborate on a very brief passage in one of his books about a romantic relationship he had with a White woman eons ago in college. He answered her question and moved on, but she was reaaaalllly interested to know if he could have actually chosen her to be his life partner. The fact that a very powerful Black man is not married to a White woman has driven a lot of these people insane, because it does not fit into any neat boxes they like to put us in. Condi? Well it’s ok that she is super smart and GWB’s water carrier-no biggie. Did you see any of the racist venom directed towards her by the GOP that we see thrown at Michelle? Wonder why, and no it’s not because she’s a Democrat. ”

      GREAT POINT ABOUT CONDI VS. MICHELLE OBAMA. GREAT POINT. I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT, BUT YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT.

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  • Ayisha

    You are so in my head!!! I’ve been discussing this with anyone who will listen for the last month. I knew something was up when everyone was insisting that a professional black woman would have a hard time marrying. Really?? I can understand a story here and there and it seemed like EVERYONE was on that issue. “Why does everyone want to discuss our love lives – or perceived lack thereof – now?” is what I was thinking at the time.

    And then came of the other attacks you mentioned. I couldn’t understand what the hell was going on and then it just hit me – Its Michelle Obama – or rather what she represents. It is the explicit intent of those racist/sexist entities of our society to undermine and diminish her value – and as a result our value.

    While I do agree with some of the other comments regarding personal responsibility, that does not negate the point and the truth of the story.

    We cannot let ANYONE else define us to ourselves or to the world. We have the power, but they want to kill us. Literally, Figuratively, Spiritually, Emotionally and Mentally. Believe it. Our survival and success depend on our insistence on defining and fighting for ourselves.

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  • Roberta

    Thank you for writing such an excellent article. I co-sign with much of what the ladies have already said, except for the part about black men not having our backs. As someone who is married to a loving Black man, I KNOW they exist. This, too, is a part of the lie that the media tries to perpetuate. Don’t believe it.

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    • Maurice

      @Roberta: So true and thank you. A must read article for everyone.

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  • Jess

    Just wanted to say Thank You for writing this article. I honestly had begun to think that only I saw it. There has been a concerted, malevolent effort (read: campaign) of late to belittle, demean and even “de-humanize” Black Women. As a lovely, elegant, educated and confident Black Woman, I am here to tell the media, pundits and pseudo-psychologists that I am here to stay. More importantly–I know my worth. I am loved, coveted and appreciated by Black Men who have not been brainwashed. White Men who are more than intrigued. Latin Men enthralled by my form. And even Asian and Middle Eastern Men fascinated by my essence. I will not be relegated to a role as a fourth class citizen in a country built in large part on the backs of my ancestors. I will not allow your not so secret “hidden” agenda to damage my self esteem or tank my self worth. I know the truth. You are threatened by my inherent sensuality, passionate sexuality and endearing strength. Not to mention the rich beauty of my skin, ample round bottom, pouty lips and our ability to halt aging in it’s tracks. We will not allow you to summarily dismiss us as ineffectual or irrelevant. So stand with me my Sisters, stand beside us Black Men, any Men– all Men who love us. I know my worth.

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    • alyssa j.

      Love this

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    • bb

      Best comment by far.

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  • d_nicegirl

    Best article I’ve read on Clutch.

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