I grew up seeing the value and importance of marriage. Not in my own household, but definitely from the likes of family and friends. If I wanted to know whether someone was married or not, I’d glance at their left hand. No ring, no spouse. Pretty simple, and even more, self-explanatory. Or so I thought.

I remember swearing up and down this guy at my church wasn’t married—couldn’t be. I did the subtle glance at the left hand, nothing. While his actions weren’t ever inappropriate, during our many casual conversations, he never mentioned his wife. Ever. When I finally found out he was indeed married, I was taken aback. I completely lost all respect for him. Even though our relationship was strictly platonic, just the mere thought of me possibly being interested in a married man was enough for me to pluck my eyeballs out.

Over the last couple of years I’ve noticed an increase of missing rings from very married couples. And if you take a look at some of our favorite celebrity twosomes (Will and Jada, Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Carmelo and Lala, etc.), almost none of them wear their wedding rings. If you do catch a glimpse of the diamond, it’s most likely on the hand of the bride and not the groom.

This brought up an array of questions in my mind.

Are wedding rings not deemed necessary anymore? Is it this new age of freedom and understanding that makes it acceptable for your spouse to not have to wear their ring? Does the ring even hold the same amount of value as it did in our parents’ and grandparents’ generation? And I know what most will argue, a ring won’t stop the infidelities. I get it. I really do. But infidelities aside, to exchange vows and place upon my finger the very symbol of what those vows supposedly mean only to decide not to wear the ring, feels like a slap in the face. It is a blatant disregard of feelings and the ultimate disrespect.

Let’s be real, while you may be secure enough to handle your husband not wearing his ring, why should you have to? Where is the mandate?

Tell us, is the wedding ring a thing of the past? Would you be okay if your husband decided not to wear his ring? We’re listening!

 

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52 Comments

  1. I don’t see it as a big deal, I personally would not want to wear a ring. I never have worn them and when I do, I end up taking them off within the hour. I’d much rather get another piece of jewelry, like a diamond white goal industrial bar for my ear piercing (which I will never take out). Besides marriage is much more than just rings.

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  2. Although not yet married, my beloved and I wear a simple gold knotted ring that I made for us. It’s not expensive but it means the world to us. I forget it sometimes because I don’t like wearing rings when I wash my hair but I actually enjoy wearing it…I do like certain people to know right off the bat that they don’t have a chance in hell (mainly the pushy, annoyingly arrogant men) and this pretty much helps with that area. Everyone’s different though. It doesn’t make sense to lose sleep over what other people have or don’t have on their finger.

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  3. No rings, no marriage..simply put. Apparently the ring didn’t mean a thing, when you took your vows, and too me the marriage didnt mean anything either.

    Like Krystal said, its “a symbol of what those vows supposedly mean…” I couldnt agree more!

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  4. Robbie

    Let’s be real, I will expect my future husband to wear his wedding ring. It will be something that we will discuss before we get married. Before I approach any man, I always check his left hand to see if his wearing a ring. If he does, I back off. If he does not wear one, I get the message that he is not married so I may go for it.

    It would be so embarrassing for me to go out of my way to speak to a man that I find cute and then later find out in the conversation that he is married.

    If you do not want to wear your ring, keep a photo of your wife on your desk at work, in your wallet, in your pocket, your locker etc…anywhere you like so that others can see that you are married.

    if you are a man and you do not want to wear your ring for whatever the reason may be, if a young woman comes up to you, as soon as the conversation starts give her hints that you are a married man. At least, if she is a woman with values, real values, she will hit the road.

    Bottom line, you don’t want to wear it fine but let other knows that you are off the market.

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    • I recently married after dating for 10 years and we chose not to exchange rings of any kind. Its superficial, and historically a symbol of the exchange of monetary goods in arranged marriages. To us, the exchanging of vows means everything, and a metal band on your finger does not make you married or not. Its just old fashioned and people need to be open to new ideas and not be so traditional. Just because your parents and their parents did it a certain way, doesn’t mean you have to! This is why marriages fail because people focus on money and keeping appearances, and not on the simplicity of love and trust.

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  5. Stephanie

    My husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years and for most of that time neither of us have worn our wedding rings. However, I do wear mine when I go out with my girlfriends because I know that you can usually flash that at unwanted advances and they go away. It’s not that our marriage means nothing, it’s that our relationship and what we have means more to us than a piece of jewelry. My husband and I have enough trust in each other to not cheat that we don’t have to wear our wedding rings because if one of us cheats then that’s it… the relationship and marriage are over. This is just what works for us, I have countless stories of married friends of mine that whether they had their rings on or not have cheated and didn’t regret it.

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