I grew up seeing the value and importance of marriage. Not in my own household, but definitely from the likes of family and friends. If I wanted to know whether someone was married or not, I’d glance at their left hand. No ring, no spouse. Pretty simple, and even more, self-explanatory. Or so I thought.

I remember swearing up and down this guy at my church wasn’t married—couldn’t be. I did the subtle glance at the left hand, nothing. While his actions weren’t ever inappropriate, during our many casual conversations, he never mentioned his wife. Ever. When I finally found out he was indeed married, I was taken aback. I completely lost all respect for him. Even though our relationship was strictly platonic, just the mere thought of me possibly being interested in a married man was enough for me to pluck my eyeballs out.

Over the last couple of years I’ve noticed an increase of missing rings from very married couples. And if you take a look at some of our favorite celebrity twosomes (Will and Jada, Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Carmelo and Lala, etc.), almost none of them wear their wedding rings. If you do catch a glimpse of the diamond, it’s most likely on the hand of the bride and not the groom.

This brought up an array of questions in my mind.

Are wedding rings not deemed necessary anymore? Is it this new age of freedom and understanding that makes it acceptable for your spouse to not have to wear their ring? Does the ring even hold the same amount of value as it did in our parents’ and grandparents’ generation? And I know what most will argue, a ring won’t stop the infidelities. I get it. I really do. But infidelities aside, to exchange vows and place upon my finger the very symbol of what those vows supposedly mean only to decide not to wear the ring, feels like a slap in the face. It is a blatant disregard of feelings and the ultimate disrespect.

Let’s be real, while you may be secure enough to handle your husband not wearing his ring, why should you have to? Where is the mandate?

Tell us, is the wedding ring a thing of the past? Would you be okay if your husband decided not to wear his ring? We’re listening!

 

  • Stephanie

    My husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years and for most of that time neither of us have worn our wedding rings. However, I do wear mine when I go out with my girlfriends because I know that you can usually flash that at unwanted advances and they go away. It’s not that our marriage means nothing, it’s that our relationship and what we have means more to us than a piece of jewelry. My husband and I have enough trust in each other to not cheat that we don’t have to wear our wedding rings because if one of us cheats then that’s it… the relationship and marriage are over. This is just what works for us, I have countless stories of married friends of mine that whether they had their rings on or not have cheated and didn’t regret it.

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