The Myth of ‘P*ssy Power’

by Jamilah Lemieux

As a non-watcher of television, I’m grateful to Jezebel for posting this commercial, as I never would have seen it.

Despite the number of things wrong with the clip, a part of me liked it under the “Summer’s Eve Commercials Are Going To Be Ridiculous No Matter What, At Least This One Had THREE Pretty Black Ladies” act. However, what did irk me is the reinforcement of the “p*ssy power” meme.

You’ve heard it, perhaps many times before: “p*ssy is the most powerful thing in the world.” Ha! Seriously? LMFAO!

Can something really be the most powerful thing in the world when people who don’t have one have been able to wield control over it for centuries? When it is widely available and widely abused?

There have absolutely been conflicts, scandals, and all sorts of madness that have been waged because of sex. But to suggest that vagina alone is some sort of mythical, all-conquering force is absurd. Is it a special part of our bodies? Absolutely! It is integral to the continued survival of the human race. And it is a pleasure center for many women–one that brings ecstasy to both them and their partners. P*ssy matters; but it does not run the world.

People love to talk about “the temptations of the flesh,” or how many great men have been “brought down” by what women have between their legs. Please. No matter how wet, delicious, or inviting a woman’s vagina is, it isn’t bringing an outsider down; that person brought himself down. We should change the terminology; perhaps, d*ck (and where they choose to stick it) is the one bringing men down.

But to say that this gender of people–who have managed to dominate most of the world–are too weak to fight the allure of sex, and to make women the ones to blame for such a think, is a clusterf*ck of foolishness. One that does men, themselves, a real disservice and puts an undue burden on women when it comes to how they manage the ownership of something that over fifty percent of the world’s population possesses.

We are told not to give it up for free but not to sell it either. We have to be careful how we walk around with it because someone might take it. And if someone does take it, then be prepared for every available excuse in the world to be used to justify why it wasn’t really taken–it was simply mismanaged by its foolhardy owner. Why? Because, you see, while we may posses the “strongest thing in the world,” we really don’t have the brainpower to govern it. At least that’s how society makes it seem.

The suggestion that a man (or another woman) may get some p*ssy–or the actual act of sex–has been used for bartering, coercion, blackmail, and many other unseemly tactics to get someone what they want. But the same has and can be done with penis, money, and anything else that one may consider to be desirable. If men are particularly inept when it comes to keeping a cool head when it comes to sex, that doesn’t make p*ssy powerful; it makes them lacking in judgement or willpower. This isn’t a universal male condition, yet the suggestion that p*ssy is so damn tempting is used to justify or explain everything from extramarital affairs to political corruption–even rape.

Does good p*ssy make a man do crazy things? No, but his reaction to it and failure to govern himself accordingly does. Good penis catches women up the same way.  Similarly, gay folks are sometimes felled by their inability to think wisely in the face of some good sex. Good food can make someone choose to overeat; Good clothes can make someone want to steal; Good drinks can have you passed out in the middle of a bar. The point is this: overindulgence, bad judgement, and even addiction to sex cannot be blamed on the “punany.” If a woman wittingly participates in an affair, then sure, we should absolutely hold her accountable for her role. But, what she holds between her legs is not the most powerful thing in the world–no matter how tempting it may be.

So this is for Cousin Mookie, who spent two years in the pen after fighting a dude over his girlfriend. For Clyde, who laments the loss of three month’s wages that were wasted on Tania’s purse collection. This is for Robert, who left his wife for the arms of Shanelle, only to find that she considered him to be a passing fancy. I’m so sorry that you had a bad experience that was largely molded by your own bad choices. But stop running around blaming p*ssy for what you did to yourself.

  • Chaz

    Love it!

  • AustralianGirl

    hear hear!

  • http://www.redboneafropuff.com Mariam

    “Can something really be the most powerful thing in the world when people who don’t have one have been able to wield control over it for centuries?” and “We are told not to give it up for free but not to sell it either. …” Nice job pointing out the contradictions.

    I have to add one: Sexual empowerment can be an incredibly strong, confidence-building, and hence, even life-changing feeling, but women don’t want to judged or valued only for their looks and sexuality either.

  • rhea

    Amen, amen, and amen!!!!

    I does feel good for a second to think that women, just by being born women, wield the most powerful thing on Earth. Then you remember all the justifications for rape and coercion. It is not fair to us to have our bodies fetishized and have one part put on a pedestal, even if we do it to ourselves.And it’s not fair to anyone to position men as uncontrollable animals chasing after something. Men can control themselves, and can only become powerful by what we do, not what we possess. I agree that sexual empowerment is very powerful.

  • http://selfra.blogspot.com dantresomi

    “Hail to the V!” wth ?

    dope post btw.

  • dragonlady73

    I totally agree with the article. I never understood why women, especially, felt they had power of the man by withholding it. Um, newsflash–a lot of other “P” is right outside the door. And most of it doesn’t require a lot of work to get it. LOL> I really ahve to laugh at people. Because I hate it when I used to hear guys tell their buddies that they were P-whipped. Huh? No, that means they are probably in love with and committed to their woman. Grow up for Christ’s sake!!!

    BTW, it took me watching taht commercial about four times to catch on to what it was saying. Shoot I had to watch it twice to know it was a Summer’s Eve commercial. When I did finally get it I literally screamed in laughter. Too funny, but creative nonetheless.

  • http://www.storageauctionguru.com Glendon Cameron

    I have been saying this for years!!! If the P was so powerful why aren’t more women use that power to get married? To avoid being single mothers? Choosing significant other status versus jump off? Because it ain’t that powerful, poor choice and a lack of control is what brought these men down, great article.

  • http://undilutedsoul.tumblr.com Taji

    You go girl. (:

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  • ThisIshRightHereNinja

    “We have to be careful how we walk around with it because someone might take it. And if someone does take it, then be prepared for every available excuse in the world to be used to justify why it wasn’t really taken–it was simply mismanaged by its foolhardy owner. ”

    ^^ THIS…brought a tear to my eye. Never heard it put quite so well. Also, I dig the hostility in your writing tone. Wholly appropriate.

  • iQgraphics

    Its not about “p*ssy power*
    Its about PUSSY CONTROL

    If you have control over yourself, you can easily dominate.

  • yesindeedchild

    now that men have sex with men behind close doors alot with strings attached ..there is no incentive for the vagina anymore.. just boyp*ssy

  • http://[email protected] Magister Veritatis

    I don’t think pussy makes men go crazy. I think weak men go crazy for pussy. With so many single women in society today why go crazy? Realistically, there is no need to go buck wild over vagina when i can go to the club and find a new chick for the night. I never understand why some men act a fool over women. Perhaps it just me, but I refuse to chase after a woman for sex. Pussy is only valuable to those who don’t get it. Guys who get sex on a regular basis fail to go crazy over vagina. I have a woman begging me right now to blow her back out and I have no interests in doing so. Pussy doesn’t make every man jump, only some. I, for one, am the type to turn you down and enjoy watching you look confused. Ah, priceless.

  • dvine

    great article.. now if only women would stop giving it out to each and every guy they meet..

  • http://twitter.com/EvolvingElle Elle

    Thank you for this! I could not have voiced this better myself. I just commented last night on Twitter that I didn’t know how I felt about this commercial. Everytime I see it, my spirit irks.

  • Tarissa

    cool story bro

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  • http://www.thebeautifulstruggler.com Jamilah Lemieux

    Okaaaay? That’s the REAL truth! We just be out here f*cking eeeeeverybody! Oh women, we so dumb and irresponsible. We just need somebody to tell us how to do this whole ‘everything’ thing. Thank GOD for mens!

  • Jeramie Tate

    Pussy in the right context is the most power tool in the world. It is the gateway to the matrix, womb, or cipher. It is the producer of our being! I am here because PUSSY and some dude I really don’t know were on a pleasure trip. Pussy dominates our society and can be used to influence, but the true power comes from the respect one demands of you.
    Some women give it away and others made me earn it. I respected the ladies that demanded that I bond mentally and emotionally before they allowed me to have my way sexually. I didn’t do right by women that allowed me to only make late night booty calls because they either did not value the pussy or over valued getting some dick!
    In the end ,people do what they desire and operate to their ability of self control. As a married man, I don’t know how much Pussy I can turn down, I do know I can limit the compromising positions I place myself in. I’m an open book, keeping my cellphone in the open and my email open because I don’t have secrets nor do I trust myself.
    Pussy only has the power you give it. I have more than I can handle at home. It’s easy to get caught putting your hand in the cookie jar. I’ve lived long enough to know if you play with pussy, you get burned! I will say over the years I’ve had chances to step out, but I was losing more than I was gaining. I have a special bond with my family and I enjoy the peace my children. My darkest memories come from wondering why momma and daddy aren’t together at 2AM. I’m giving my children what I didn’t have: a dad in the home; therefore, outside PUSSY has no power at all!

  • http://www.storageauctionguru.com Glendon Cameron

    “I’m an open book, keeping my cellphone in the open and my email open because I don’t have secrets nor do I trust myself.”

    All I can say is WOW!!!

    Dude I am turning down pussy left and right , this is coming from a single guy! It ain’t that damn hard ( pun intended) when you understand, your power. The fact that you don’t trust yourself speaks volumes man! Pussy only has power over a weak mind or a very desperate soul.

    The most powerful organ in the world is the brain, wedded to a strong intellect and powerful reasoning skill set, you can move mountains, control your own sphere of influence and if you want have pussy on tap, like spring water……

    I am so sick and tired of these weak ass men , making the rest of us look bad

    ((GEEESHHHH))) MTFU!!!!

  • Clnmike

    Women need to know there worth, we don’t call pussy the Power U for nothing. If not for it dudes would have never have left the damn cave. Every song, poem, ritual, art, tradition hell even religion has ben constructed with pussy in mind. Wars have been fought over pussy, cities constructed because of it. The problem is you have half of women not understanding its worth, and the other half not wanting to take responsibility for it. That’s why men try to control it cause we know the whole world is going to be flipped (and not in our favor) if women got together and put the cat on pause. You think dudes do the things they do because there weak minded? They do it to secure the thing that is worth most to them. If you want to put a cheap price tag on it go ahead, men know a bargain when they see one.

  • Bisous

    Oh my goodness did I really just see that? Is that seriously on television? O_O

  • http://nocturneadagio.blogspot.com/ LainaLain

    We need to put this whole post on primetime news and wake up the people. WE NEED TO STOP THE PRESSES LMAO!

  • jujis86

    Could it be a possiblity that what we have between in our legs is indeed the most powerful thing in the world (or one of the most powerful), and that is the reason why the other gender has used it’s physical strength to overpower it? After all, rape is about power and control. It’s my opinion that the vagina is not in and of itself the most pwoerful thing in the world. The most powerful thing in the world is the being that it is attached to when they know their worth, pwoer, and strength and use it wisely.

  • NaiB

    Preach!!

    Well (and definitely needed to be) said.

  • Jess

    The fact is, it IS powerful, truly the most powerful thing in the world. Why? Because it brings forth life of living animal species on this earth, not even just human. Even though it takes a sperm to impregnate a woman, in the end, it is solely up to us to bring it into fruition (barring any physical problems or injuries).

    Menn have serious envy, which is why they have always worked so hard to overpower and use violence against women. We create life and bring it into existence, they cannot.

  • Jeramie Tate

    @ Glendon if a wise man were to read my comments, he would understand Pussy has no power over me because I remove myself from the position to take it. Never knock another man until you have walked in his shoes. Before I was 22, I had been around the world twice having had sex with women of many nations. I found that it was all the same. I’m married so we are in different positions. I leave my cell phone out because I don’t play games with other women. Every call I receive, I can take it in front of my wife. Discreetness can open the door if you aren’t careful. I mentor young men and have been approached because women appreciate the time I put in with their sons. I’ve dropped young men off at home at night, finding mom at home in a robe with nothing on. As a precaution now, I allow my son to walk his team mates to the door. I’ve been married faithful for 16 years. With that being said giving a certain appearance can be more damaging than the act of sex. It is WEAK for you to say another man’s actions can mess something up for you. A real man has the wisdom to reach a woman and isolate her from her past. Pussy has no power, but I know women like me so I don’t put myself in the position to get it. The biggest lie ever told is SEX just happened. If it happened there was some build up to it! Let it soak in. Brother I respect your opinion and it would be great if you grant me the liberty to have mine. I’m speaking from having traveled a road you have yet to begin. Peace! Holla at me after you’ve helped a young man get an academic scholarship in college and his mom gives you a big girl hug. She is a sexy size 6! You probably will keep hugging her. I start shaking her hand because I don’t trust me. Pussy may not have power over me, but I respect it and the feeling it gives!

  • Rani

    jamilah co-sign this article!its ridiculus like the world has bigger things to talk about then a women’s private parts its just so immature.

  • http://missproctor.tumblr.com Doc

    A testament to the myth of “Pussy Power” is illustrated by the comments by men BLASTING themselves and talking about how many women they’ve been with and additionally, having no one call them out for it. If I was a woman and sought to exercise my voice/opinion by detailing the ions of men I slept or didn’t sleep with (yet), I’d be labeled as a hoe or a jumpoff by both men and women.

    It’s so interesting to see how women’s subjection (particularly sexual) is at the source of men proving their capacity to be “mentally strong” and able to think on their own…

  • http://opine365.wordpress.com SNH

    Did I miss the part of the article where it mentioned that everything that was said in the commercial was true? Some people may not think it’s the most powerful thing but wars have been fought over women people have died etc (now if you want to translate women to pussy, so be it).
    Don’t be jealous because no one is saying dick runs the world … the saying “behind every strong man is a STRONGER woman” is true; if women stopped doing all of the things they do for men (including sex) men would be miserable (gay & straight)!

  • http://www.storageauctionguru.com Glendon Cameron

    @Jeramie- I was in the military and had sex from Brazil to Japan, did things many dream about, was married got divorced because wife converted to what I consider a cult. For many years worked in a hospital, you know that place that is 75% female, so I saw fine from 7A to 7P and never cheated on my wife and many pushed up.

    I am not the most handsome guy in the world, but I get stared down when I am out about, so I know what it is to command female attention. I have a bone of contention to pick on this pussy runs the world crap, it is amazing how people embrace stereotypes when they like the benefits of that myth.

    ” I start shaking her hand because I don’t trust me. ” I agree it ain’t the pussy, it is YOU, lol and I have been in some situations I easily blew off, because I trust me!

    No woman is going to make me me do something I should not, plane and simple, if I were ever to cross the line, a weak mindset and a lack of loyalty are the culprits , not pussy.

    The reason I came so strong is, this one of sexual politic lies that is keeps men debased and often gives those who are weak at heart a easy pass to do wrong. “Baby it was not me, it was the pussy that made me do it” ,give me a break.

    So you know under certain circumstance you could be induced to “bow down” so you don’t put yourself in those circumstance- SMART MOVE, but once again it is YOU and not the pussy.

    As for not hugging up on mom in the robe, my man that is just common sense and courtesy. Back in the day, you would have never crossed the thresh hold of her doorstep and a hand is all a “respectable ” man would touch anyway. So kudos for showing some common sense and being a mentor.

  • @SugarKovalczyk

    To me the ad was most definitely tongue in cheek. They get it. All the talk about pussy power is a goof, that’s why the cut to the “real world” of the woman shopping, not welding magic pussy power. Just shopping. I saw it as playing to a funny stereotype then dismissing it. Love it.

    But your article was perfectly on point and I loved that even more.

  • Jeramie Tate

    @ Glendon it’s always good when brothers can chop it up and communicate. Although were are wording different we are very much the same. I was also in the military and was in Japan for 2 years, on the midway aircraft carrier. I saw a lot and experienced a lot. I learned so much from the pain many of my shipmates and their spouses experienced due to getting married so young. From my experience and their pain, I knew what I desired when I got married. Because of my experiences, I can make decision beneficial to my family. We may not have walked in the same shoes,but I think we wear the same brand. You can imagine what I’ve seen and did as a single man. The true power is in the decisions men CHOOSE to make. Take care brother

  • @SugarKovalczyk

    Girl you caught that shit too? If their male-ness had nothing to do with pussy it would make their argument stronger.

    “I’ve had this many women!”

    “Oh yeah, well I’ve had this many women”

    They subvert their own argument when their respect for one another is gained/loss by how much pussy they’ve had and how many women want them that and poor men always being debased. Lmao

  • @SugarKovalczyk

    I mean, do you know how many men I’ve sexed with this pussy over the years?? No really, I’m asking. I got a bad memory.

  • Jeramie Tate

    @ Suga i was misled and misguided when it came to women. I was taught your value as a man was based on the number of women I slept with. Traveling around the world gave me an opportunity to do that. I was EMPTY! Once I learned how to love and respect myself. I learn how to respect women and see you for the gift you are. See when I see my ladies I can respect your intellect, appreciate your beauty, and be thankful you were created. The P has no more power than you give it. As a man I’ve leaned to respect women enough also not to take advantage of people I know in vulnarable positions. At this point, life is about respect! As a responsible man, I choose not to make decisions I can’t handle the consequences for; therefore, outside P has no power, but my wife can have my all! I’m happy providing for my family, but I admire watching you in sandals and spaghetti straps. I can respect your beauty and take my punk ass home: DRAMA free.

  • http://missproctor.tumblr.com Doc

    lmao!!!!!! @SugarKovalczyk I would have to ask you the same, I’ve seemed to lost track of all the men my pussy has sexed too! Whoa…lol

    But I do think that their is something to be said about how powerless a pussy is when subjugated by men…gay and straight. We, as women, merely attempt to have control over our vaginas….people musn’t mistake attempts with actualized power.

    Long live women who attempt to actualize the power of their vagina! …Which really just means to actualize their humanity. Our pussies make us no more powerful or weak in comparison to men…they make us HUMAN!

  • GeekyDiorGirl

    Without women men would be in a cave somewhere picking ticks out of each others hair and hitting each other in the head w/ clubs. Everything a man seeks comes back to the love of a woman. Wars, jobs, power, civilization, money all created to catch the eye and be the baddest man on the block. Mankind got booted to coach because of a man’s desire to please a woman. Let’s not forget Eve suggested and Adam complied. It’s not the p****y it’s the love of the creature that’s packing it around. That’s where the power lies.

  • Simone

    @ Glendon…Men and women need each other…Like we do. Both are weak and strong in areas that the other needs to appreciate. One is not better or worse than the other. Just different; complementary. If we mean something to each other…then lets work things out.

  • LemonNLime

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that! Stating, “I was in the military and had sex from Brazil to Japan, did things many dream about” does not prove you point or make it stronger but it does make me think this either 1. you trying to inflate or over compensate or 2. you are just gross. Either way it is pretty pathetic and detracts from your argument.

  • EmpressDivine

    LMAO! This was excellent!

  • Nick Swift

    These are lessons I can pass on to my daughter…thank you

  • http://armedandintelligent.blogspot.com/ k3k3_n

    love it especially the ending solid points i found the commerical to be seriously ridiculous even one of the greatest occasions of pussy bringing an man down (king henry and anne bolyen aka the original sideline hoe) was actually more about power and pride than anything else it usally just stands as a symobol of one’s downfall never the cause

  • apples

    The Blame Game. It reminds of my cousin who fought a boy after second period and got suspended……..simply because he looked at his girlfriend. Or the other cousin who brought a BB gun to school and shot a guy…….who liked flirting with his girlfriend(of which he got expelled). Some men in my family have issues LOL

  • @SugarKovalczyk

    Oooh you thought about that too! In this culture we seem to have eradicated love in favor of bad sex but in the past and in other cultures maybe it wasn’t pussy. Maybe it was love that caused all the commotion? The power of love?

  • Rastaman

    The irony of this is: Pussy has power over most men but most women have no power over their pussy.”

    Just a another deliciously humorous aspect of the human condition.

  • james

    There are two types of men: one that gets laid as part of who he is and then the Other Guy ALL he wants to do is get laid. Its basically his only identity though he goes to great lengths to layer a atmosphere of success. Some women let this guy get the goods and then cry foul when he disappears. They are stunned that a man would do “all that” just to get laid. This does not speak for all men.

    Sex, its power is fleeting for both sexes. Now that men and women are (supposedly) free to have sex in any manner, we are in my opinion seeing things the way they really should be.

    Some women like millions of men just thought in an affair they can just show up and “give him some” and that man would melt. Oh yea it worked but then like men some women found out sex no matter how good only gets you more sex. He (or she) never turns around, gets the degree, starts to share in household chores. You then start to resent having let yourself get your real freak on with someone who is really a douchbag. Who forced you to let yourself go with that person? Oh yea You did. Not his D or her P. It was the organ between our ears that led you astray.

    Like my boy Jah, his reckless sexual behavior has cramped his life. In the 90′s at 16 he got two girls pregnant simultaneously, its been a debacle ever since. He is in his early forties with five kids (4 different women) and here’s a man that I dont think has a high school education. He fooled himself with the fleeting power of sex. I think now the same is happening to lots of women difference being some are older and have an education (though they may never see its full potential because of having a kid they didnt plan on).

    I think both men and women strut too hard as if they “got it” yet truth they are caught up and are in waaaay over their heads. I am sure this is what Jah would have said in ’93, no he isnt caught up, he knows what he’s doing. His moms still pays his car note and she is in the projects. Yea he got this all right.

    Sex is powerful but fleeting, its power is gone the moment its used. I have to agree here when all you offered was sex you cant blame anyone for the ills of the affair but yourself.

  • http://www.storageauctionguru.com Glendon Cameron

    @James

    I agree, it is not the sex it is the person, its a myth that pussy or dick did anything. You placed yourself in these situations. I know of someone who has 5 kids by 3 different women, his life is HELL and he is always broke. Decisions can make you or break you.

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  • call tyrone

    pussy power does exist. ask any man that has ever dated Erykah Badu

  • Serenity

    How so?

  • Teearejay

    Agreed. We have all at some point or another felt the need to blame our bad choices on an object or mystical force “the devil made me do it” How do we begin to take ownership and responsibility for these bad choices. Whats the lesson behind the pain we inflicted? Even bigger than that.. Why do we keep repeating the same things and seem to be complacent about our failure to grow positively out of these habits? Open dialogue is key… Love ya sis.

  • Bella

    Rastaman…as I woman, I must say *ahem* “shutup!” 1. Please don’t try to make something sound deeper than you can explain 2. Women have power over their pussy. Everytime we decide to let a man inside, or keep him out, we exert power. Simple as that. Men will strategically (emphasis on strategically) order their actions so that they can at some point, get in on a woman’s p*ssy. Is that not power? Fine, fine, should we use another word? Influence. But influence and power both yield similar results: the ability to get someone do something they wouldn’t otherwise had done at that given time. I don’t completely agree with this article, because I am a firm believer…there is power in the p*ssy! And I don’t have to be giving it up all will-nilly to have that power. And to take it a step further, or to be “polically correct” women have great influence on the men who “run the world.”

  • Alexandra

    Well her current situation says otherwise.

  • sunganani

    Amen.

  • paintgurl40

    EXACTLY!!

  • conswipe

    We would be sitting in caves chillin but if you believe in your own words than we would have no reason to hit each other with clubs.
    Of course they need to talk about their sexual exploits because that gives them experience. How do you know that pussy doesn’t control you if you’ve never had any?
    Also, generally men are judged by how much pussy they get and women are judged by how little pussy they give. I wish it was different then we could all just fuck and it wouldn’t be such a big deal but oh well. If I ruled the world.

  • conswipe

    Maybe we should just let gays be in charge

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