“Sunny days, everybody loves them/but tell me baby/can you stand the rain…” Ralph never lied.

Relationships are a lot of hard work, I can’t say this enough. And that’s during good times. When we think about being in love, finding a partner and getting coupled up, how many of us really consider what you are asking for? It’s cute to take care of someone when they have the sniffles, but are you gonna be there if he gets pneumonia? Great, what if its cancer? What if he loses his ability to function sexually or to work everyday? Speaking of work, those three-course meals were great when the relationship started…you gonna hang when he gets fired nine months later and can’t take you any further than the value menu? What if he has a family emergency and has to go be home with his folks for three months, leaving you a thousand miles behind?

Being the ride-or-die chick is more than a notion. Being there for someone during their darkest, most difficult hours is often like having those same challenges yourself (perhaps even more painful because you are watching someone you care about suffer); being a true partner can sometimes feel like living for two. If you expect to have it in return, you have to be prepared to give of yourself in such a way that your lover never feels alone in the midst of a storm.

I’m not saying we should fret and fuss over things that haven’t happened yet. I’m saying that we should give serious consideration to what our threshold of tolerance is. What sort of things are you willing to endure as a partner? How much could you stand before you might find yourself looking for comfort in someone else’s arms? Be choosy with your words; don’t tell someone you’re ready to stand by them through anything when you don’t have the strength of connection, character or perhaps will to do so.

And since I quoted them, let the soothing sounds of New Edition take you into the second half of your workday:

 

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