Lately, I’ve felt like my life is too full. Normally, I’d argue that this is a good thing but this time it’s not. Let me explain.
When you’re life is filled with people and things you love, you really can never get enough. There was a point with me where it was like that and I remember it well. There was no amount of overtime that would find me complaining because I was doing what I knew I was destined to. There was no appointment that I felt was too taxing because every person I spent time with was someone I felt was worth it. I checked in to work everyday with my blue press pass, I wrote stories about people around the world whose voices needed to be heard, slept when I could and I was constantly making an effort to be there for the people I loved.
At the time, I knew that things were at that rare balance point where the world was readying me to do what I loved. And because I felt that energy, I had enough to give back to the world and to the people who deserved it the most. I think when there is order in our lives, it opens us up for more moments of blessing and more moments of kindness. In other words, it gives us more opportunities to be to others what we should. I strive to be that person so when I know I’m not, it jabs me inside. And lately, I’ve been feeling the jab like a pin into a voodoo doll.
Still, even though I see the clutter, sometimes it feels like every piece has its place. It’s like emotionally hoarding: ask me to get rid of something and I’ll have a million back stories and excuses on why I can’t just throw it out. This inability to let go is a vice that many of us have but often it’s clearer to see it in someone else’s life. You know it when you see it, “She needs to cut back with that job” or “she needs to stop playing someone’s wife” or “she doesn’t see those ‘friends’ around her are toxic?”
Pointing them out takes little to no effort. After all it’s glaringly obvious, everyone can see. But what about our cluttered up mess? Why is it so hard to get it in order?
Often times we think that letting go is giving away. We think that if we take one hand off something in our lives that we’re bound to lose it forever. So we put on hand to hold down a bad relationship, the other to hold down the job we know is wrong and soon enough we’re clinging onto an unfulfilling life we never really loved in the first place.
My mother always says, “Blessings only come when you make room.” Even though I’ve heard her say it all my life, it’s only been of late that I understood what she was saying. While it’s scary to think what your life would be like without the things you’ve come to know, it’s even more frightening to think that the life you’re meant to have is waiting to be able to come in. When what’s right fills the space then nothing will be too much. In fact when what’s right fills the space you make, you’ll find that you’ll always have just enough.
Today, stop clinging to a life that was not meant for you. Make room for your blessings and trust that you’ll never feel empty again.