Over the weekend, I met up with my girls for a little wine and conversation. Predictably, the talk turned to one of our favorite topics: Men!

After one of my friends mentioned that someone told her she should try Paul Carrick Brunson’s challenge and ask out 10 men (she scoffed), we got into a conversation about who should make the first move.

Although I advocated that women can and should make the first move, many of my friends weren’t having it. The consensus was that men should always approach the woman first.

When I told them that some men are (admittedly) shy about approaching women, one friend exclaimed, “Then they aren’t the man for me. The type of woman I am…I need a man who isn’t afraid.” Although I disagree with the idea of waiting for a man to always initiate the meet and greet, I wondered what kind of signs we giving off to show we are open to meeting them.

Eye contact. A seductive glance. A smile. A wave of the hand.

When you’re out, Clutchettes and Gents, how to you make sure the cutie you’ve been eyeing approaches you?

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  • Over the years I have become really good at being aware of my own body language and mannerisms..I sit up straight, walk tall, and I speak back to whoever speaks to me (as long as its not crazy or disrespectful). Whether it’s thank you/your welcome, excuse me/sure, how are you/good, you. And I try to just give off a pleasant vibe or say it with a smile (no scowling here).

    If there is someone I’m interested in, I may put myself in his way or line of sight and if our eyes meet, I make sure to give a little smile or a look that says “hey, im not mean so come over here!”. If that doesn’t work, then I just say hello or hi and let him take it from there. As a woman I like to be pursued, but I see nothing wrong with paying another human being the respect of a simple greeting/smile. Especially if it lets the guy I like know that he can feel free to make his approach.

    It only takes about a second after one person says hello for BOTH people to have a sense of the other’s level of interest in further conversation or a possible date. If there is no interest or you aren’t feeling it, no harm/no foul. Just keep it moving.