It’s probably just a stupid rumor. It more than likely is. But gossip and entertainment sites are poppin’ nonetheless that Rihanna and J. Cole have made a sex tape and it’s gone public. Or at least it’s well on its way.

Sigh. Another day, another headline, another opportunity to see a star get smutted thanks to a video recorded boo boo.

Outside of the wild, crazy, what-will-they-do-next? world of celebrity, anonymous folk who turn all kinds of sexual acrobatics and not make so much as a lead story in a condo association newsletter are doing it too. And while regular women may not have the big names, they are becoming stars—so to speak. Those videos of you putting in your A head game just might make you an overnight celebrity all on your own. Two words: homemade porn. Two more words: bad idea.

Men (and plenty of women) seem to have a special place in their hearts for capturing their lovemaking in action. For some reason, seeing themselves all caught up in the backstroke is a complete and total turn-on. So when you finally cave to his ten thousand and fiftieth request to make a little “home movie,” he promises it’s for his eyes only. You’re hot. The video will be hot. He guarantees it. And since you love you some him, you go on ahead and do your best Pinky impersonation when the recording starts. Then, for whatever reason, y’all break up and that masterfully shot skin flick is in the storage space of his iPhone or digital camera.

Just your luck, video vixen. Ex-girlfriend porn is the next big thing in get-back tactics for scorned men with axes to grind and footage to upload. There are sites dedicated exclusively to the purpose of humiliating the chick who crossed the dude whose ethics and morals may not be as upstanding as they were when he vowed to keep the video tucked way, way away. And it’s just as seedy and underworldly as it sounds. Some of these online portals allow disgruntled douchebags and former flames to post your name, address, and contact information along with their footage. That’s just trifling.

Back in the day a guy might’ve cut you out of pics or wrote something nasty about you on a bathroom stall somewhere, even include your phone number if he was feeling real ig’nant. But that was so before the world wide web gave jerks the chance to post your naked, up-in-the-air bare bottom on every website that would have it—and there sure are plenty. Jim from accounting at your job, your next door neighbor with the weird eye, the freaky guy that sits five rows back from you at church, even (dear God) your hormonal little brother can stumble across your ride ‘em cowgirl handiwork with the click of a mouse.
Porn havens like XTube.com, which has little to no watchdog system for what and who’s being uploaded, allows users to add clips no questions asked, which means its thousands and thousands of featured videos can come from a mixture of wannabe professional smut makers and women with the misfortune of having an evil, twisted scumbag in their past (even though gay revenge porn is also a rising trend).

But there are also sites like realexgirlfriends.com and Iknowthatgirl.com that cater specifically to the market of scorned jerks and voyeuristic freaks. They are web homes designed for the deliberate humiliation of women who find themselves on the wrong side of the homemade booty movie. Some sites let these losers vent their little emasculated bleeding hearts along with their scandalous material, and the main excuse for their bad behavior usually falls under the “she cheated” category. That is apparently supposed to be justification enough for committing all kinds of legal violations and moral ratchetness—especially considering that once videos are online, it’s all but impossible to keep them from spreading. The legacy of your skin flick could live on for all eternity. It might even make it big.

Here’s to hoping that everybody who let themselves get smacked, flipped and rubbed down for the camera entrusted that footage to somebody who deserved to be entrusted. There’s more than 20,000 clips on some of these sites, so it’d be kind of hard to search. But to avoid being the main subject of somebody’s Vaseline-and-baby-lotion self-love fest, I personally think it’s a better idea to keep the lovin’ off camera. Just in case.

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  • Tameko P

    All I can say is this: always be aware of your surroundings! If you told your man no recording, check out his room before you get down in it. Look for that hidden camera. Better yet, get busy at your place.

  • clnmikeisannoying

    I have no issue with dissenting opinion. I do have an issue when someone doesn’t present logic and carries on and on negating any point that might’ve been hidden in their commentary.

    I swear I bristle when clnmike speaks. Because I WANT to understand why someone might think differently. But all I get is another online reminder of why one should stay the eff away from black men

    then I have to remind myself over and over not every black man is a victim and a sad dropping of the castrated masculine energy spreading around my generation like the herp.

    feel free to disagree. but damn it, make sense. you have no idea how ugly it is when you support the negative stereotype of those who look like you.

    .. jerk.

    • Courtney

      You probably bristle because he’s repeatedly shown himself to be absolutely incapable of empathizing with the suffering of women. He’s a nasty, nasty piece of work.