Thomas Lobel of Berkeley CA, aged 11, is now known as Tammy: He’s in the process of becoming a female. Adopted son of 2 lesbians, The Daily Mail reports that his moms, Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel, support their decision to allow the child’s gender reassignment claiming that children with identity disorder are more likely to commit suicide.

The couple adopted the boy at age 2, and by age 3, they claim that Thomas told them, in sign language, that he was a girl. Things took a turn for the worse when at 7, the boy threatened to genitally mutilate himself. Moreno and Lobel finally took action. Pauline Moreno recalled their decision to let the boy transition.

Never comfortable in his own skin, she said his spirits were lifted once he was allowed to dress like a girl, wearing bras, headbands, and the like. “He was in his own world just completely detached and that was a problem we always had was getting Thomas to participate in life,” she said. “What we saw emerge when Tammy was allowed to be Tammy is, “Whoa!”… It was an immediate transformation. She was so giggly and she was now interacting she was now making it a point to defend herself.”

What began with cross-dressing, took on a new dimension when Thomas’ mothers agreed to let the boy begin hormone-blocking drugs this summer, designed to prevent the onset of puberty. The Mail states that the hormone-suppressant, implanted in his upper left arm, will postpone the 11-year-old developing broad shoulders, deep voice and facial hair.

Naturally, Moreno and Lobel have come under fire for allowing a child to undergo such a controversial procedure. Moreno said even friends and family disapproved exclaiming, “Everybody was angry with us. ‘How could you be doing this? You might be ruining his whole life!’” But the pair stands by their decision based on a statistic that 50 per cent of transgender youth will have had at least one suicide attempt by their 20th birthday.

Moreno continues, “What is so frightening to me is that you would be willing to say ‘no’ just because you don’t like it – even though your child could lose their life? She adds, “The protocol now is to transition these children as soon as you can make a diagnosis, because otherwise they end up being not one thing or the other… because they experienced puberty.”

Wed in 1990, Lobel and Moreno have 2 older sons, as well as grandchildren. They admit that they struggled to come to their decision – and assert that their sexuality was not a factor in little Tommy/Tammy’s decision. ‘It was odd to us,’ she said. “Even though she has lesbians as parents, this is all new to us in every possible way. We know what it’s like to feel different – we’ve got that one. But to feel like you’re not in the right body was just something we could not put our heads around.”
The Daily Mail provides a brief explanation on how Thomas’ journey to womanhood is to play out:

• Tammy Lobel’s hormones are being blocked by an implant on the inside of the 11-year-old’s upper left arm, which must be replaced once a year.

• Ms Moreno explained: ‘In other words, she will stay as a pre-pubescent boy until she decides and we feel that she can make this decision about surgery.’
• His parents say the hormone treatment will give him time to figure out if he wants to fully transition to being female or go through puberty as a boy.

• By age 14 or 15 the device will need to be removed so that Tammy can go through puberty, Ms Moreno said.

• If he chooses to stop taking the drugs, he will undergo natural male puberty at a later stage and his future fertility would not be impacted.

• Should their son decide to transition to an adult female, he can take female hormones as well, which would raise his voice, allow him to grow breasts and develop other feminine physical characteristics.

 

Speak on it Clutch. With their lives potentially hanging in the balance, is it wrong for parents to allow children with gender identity issues to take the journey towards reassignment? What’s your view on this matter of controversy?

  • JS….

    SMH ridiculous. There needs to be law against this ish. His parents need to be locked up.

    When he/she experiences sexism as a woman I bet he’s going to wish he still had his d—

  • jane

    Stop eating the meat in this country. I am telling you it is shrinking mens balls and lower their testosterone levels making them very feminine.

  • Pilot

    How can this not be child abuse? There must be some state statue by which these two women can be prosecuted, because they are seriously messing up this kid’s mind and body. This is just sort of unreal.

  • Bri

    You all need to calm down. You have no idea what tourture it can be for some children. I bet you all are the same people who think that people CHOOSE to be gay as well. THE CHILD TRIED TO HURT HIMSELF. Thats a huge wake up call. Stop being so judgmental.

  • http://@clnmike Clnmike

    This story is so spectacular it can’t be real. Let’s say I believe it, you mean to say an 11 year old boy claims to be a girl through sign language and if he doesn’t get what he wants he will mutilate himself, as in cut his genitals off? And the response is to give in? No mental evaluations, no saying he buddy your going to have to wait till your grown and experience the world to make that decision. No wait till after puberty when you get a healthy dose of hormones to see if that thinking still stands. No where just going to “correct” a mistake. There are so many angles this can be attacked by any number of advocates/organisations both good and bad I am surprised the media has not lived off of this. And this is definitely not a good look for lesbians raising boys.

  • Umm

    I think he should be at a consenting age before the gender change. Wouldn’t hormone treatments be bad for a growing child? How is that legal?

  • sli

    Yes, it is wrong. I say leave the kid alone and let him make his own decision when he turns 18. The parents should have found others ways to support their child other than allowing him to begin the gender assignment process at such a young age. They’re worried about him possibly hurting himself or committing suicide, but they don’t really know if allowing this procedure will decrease the likelihood of that. He’s happy now because he gets to dress up in girl’s clothes, but puberty is going to bring on an onslaught of emotional, mental and physical issues. This is too much.

  • sli

    *gender reassignment process

  • LN

    I’m on the fence. On the one hand, I can understand the boy feeling distraught if he feels he’s a girl. But on the other hand, I think that, honestly — for a child — 11 years old is TOO YOUNG to make such a critical decision. Just like I cringe when I watch “Dance Moms”, and see the girls being forced to be so competitive and viscious at such a young age (though it makes for great TV!), so I cringe when I hear this.

    Children’s brains are not fully formed, they’re maleable and their opinions change often. So it’s dangerous to base such a critical decision on an 11-year old’s feeling.

  • LN

    “this is definitely not a good look for lesbians raising boys.”

    I totally agree :( I wish the story had mentioned whether their two older sons were straight or gay.

    Though most gay couples go on to raise straight kids, I suspect that a few probably try to have undue influence on the sexuality of their children.

  • Pilot

    Hmmm, I’m not one of those people that think homsexuals or lesbians choose to be that way, and I think this is child abuse. The parents (through some doctor) are pumping lots of extra hormones into their kid. How is that not physical abuse?

    If you had a heterosexual man giving his heterosexual son anabolic steroids and human growth hormone to make him more manly and better in sports (which is also more manly to his way of thinking), you would be the first to scream, “That isn’t right!” And I’d be right behind you, saying that father needs to go to jail.

    But, somehow, it’s okay for these lesbians to give their son female hormones to make him more female? When he’s legally still a child?

  • Mimi

    What ever happened to telling your child no? I think back to the story of the parents who allowed their little boy to dress as a girl by wearing skirts and dresses. The parents were just trying to make it seem like everything was okay and that none of the kids at school made fun of him or anything. BULLSH!T!!!! We all know that bullying is at an all time high now so you know those kids were messing with that little boy wearing a skirt to school. If it were me, I’d just have to tell my son that no. It is not acceptable for a boy to wear skirts or dresses. It’s not acceptable by society, or by mom so no, you can’t do it.

    As for this Tommy/Tammy situation, I would really question the parenting skills of any parent that would allow such expirimentation on their child. How do they know that the hormone suppressant is really safe? Are there any long term effects? And why would you let an 11 year old dictate to you, the parent, what they should be? Was there any type of psychological evaluations done before the parents came to this drastic decision?

  • lw

    I think these parents are acting in the best interest of their child and not committing child abuse. It seems that the child’s mental state was already troubled and allowing her to express her gender has helped. I think the sign language they mentioned in the article is the toddler sign language, so from an early age the child thought of herself as female.
    I can’t imagine a medical doctor not evaluating the child before giving her medical treatment. I also can’t imagine the doctor not recommending a psychological evaluation. I think the lack of these details in the article are partly due to lack of research and investigation for this post.
    The title is inflammatory and makes it seem that the child will have a sex change while she’s still a child, but at the end of the article it states, “Should their son decide to transition to an adult female,” alluding to a sex change only when the child is of age. Plus, they say that using the hormones will give her time to make a decision about her true gender. A lot of transsexuals have an extremely jarring time mentally during puberty, as they feel that their body is betraying them since they feel they are the opposite sex. Also, the process of undergoing a sex change is involves many physical examinations and discussions and it involves a trail period of time (a year, I think) living as the opposite sex, and undergoing psychological counseling. One can’t just decide they want to change their sex and then go schedule the surgery.
    The fact that the couple is lesbian has nothing to do with the child’s gender identity. They also have two grown children with no stated gender identity issues. I think that since they are lesbian they are more sensitive to the wishes of their child (and medical/psychological opinion) regarding gender expression.

  • Pilot

    (Typing too fast) Not pumping extra female hormones into him, but, rather, suppressing the male hormones.

    Either way, the result is that it’s a huge hormonal imblance that the adult parents are are approving and orchestrating, just like the heterosexual father giving out anabolic steroids for the result he wants in his heterosexual son.

  • I got sense!

    Wow, I’m surprised at all the people saying it’s wrong and the parents should be “locked up” or claiming it’s “child abuse”. I am glad kids have this option now and I’m glad these concerned loving parents are allowing Tammy to be who she really is. I guess no one cares about the suicide rate for gay, lesbian, and transgendered people. Not to mention how hard it is to deny who you really are and pretend to be someone else for so long. I am so happy she is able to do this. As the article said Tammy will have the choice to go into puberty as a male or female when she’s older and more mature to make the decision for herself. I’m SO HAPPY FOR THEM!

  • I got sense!

    @Pilot
    Your comparison does not makes sense. The big issue in your example is that the FATHER wants something FOR his son.

    Tammy wants this FOR HERSELF. Her parents are simply letting her be who SHE wants to be not forcing her to be a girl.

    Also, I don’t think people realize the EXTENSIVE process you have to go through in order to get this drugs. This is not a “oh he likes dolls, so let’s make him a girl”. There is a long and thorough psychological process. Also, they have already raised to healthy sons so obviously they are doing something right because adopting a child is also an extremely long and extensive process. They don’t give you a kid just because you want one. They look at EVERYTHING including your health you can’t adopt if you have any kind of illnesses) your income, your relationship they give preference to two parent homes), your home and neighborhood, etc.

  • http://@clnmike Clnmike

    That’s why this is a sticky situation, it is opening a can of worms from gay adoption, women raising boys, sexuality, religion, child rearing, and pretty much anything else you can think of that has the slightest amount of relevance to the story, and all for something you would think is common sense, do not give a kid everything they want cause they dont know what they want. Who is it going to kill to let him be an adult and make that choice? If he is willing to take extreme measure like self mutilation than that’s all the proof you need that he is incapable of making decision like that. There are a lot of parents running around here thinking that raising a child to be an adult is the same thing as treating them as an adult. Those are two different things and your going to lose big with the latter.

  • Nadell

    Exactly…I fee the same way. I remember at the age of 15, I went to my doctor and told her “I don’t plan on having kids so can you remove my ovaries?” My poor doctor had the most puzzling look on her face. She certainly was shocked or more so surprised. She informed me medically of why I could not do it and factored in that I am too young to make such a life-changing decision.
    I was already a teen – this poor child is only 11…

  • http://@clnmike Clnmike

    “A lot of transsexuals have an extremely jarring time mentally during puberty…….” Hey news flash, ALL kids have a jarring time mentally during puberty.

  • Pilot

    Well, if it suits you better, then let’s just say the heterosexual boy wants the steroids, too. That’s hardly implausible, since lots of teenage boys abused anabolic steroids when they were more readily available. They liked being bigger and stronger than all the other boys, they liked being a star athlete, etc.

    Now is it the same? And is that situation warrant criminal charges of child abuse or negligence towards a child? I think it does; I think that father should have charges brought against him. And I think these women should have charges brought against them.

  • honeyxzillah

    Whatever. They’re the parents and the kid is happy, so nonissue.

  • servant.dc

    This is a free country, in which people have the right to do whatever idiotic thing that they want to themselves.

    I would submit that normal people still have the right to vote with their feet…just get out of California if you don’t want to be subjected to such deranged behavior…

    There are plenty of places in the country in which this type of lunacy would not be an issue…let all the fruits and nuts have each other and just get away from them…

    California is pretty much a lost cause…let it go…those people deserve each other…

  • I got sense!

    @ Pilot
    It’s not about suiting me better because at the end of this conversations the results will be the same. It’s legal and the decision that family has made but still, there are issues with your comparison.

    1. Steroids are illegal. Hormone therapy and changing sexes is not.

    2. Tammy is not a teenager and is not competing with other girls or trying to be more feminine than the other girls. “That’s hardly implausible, since lots of teenage boys abused anabolic steroids when they were more readily available. They liked being bigger and stronger than all the other boys, they liked being a star athlete, etc.” Also, she is not trying to get accolades (star athlete) from other people. In fact, she will be judged harshly for the rest of her life just because she wants to be who she feels she really is and is willing to endure this anyway.

    3. The boy didn’t try to cut his arm open to insert balls to make his biceps bigger. (do you get it now??)

    4. The suicide rate for boys who don’t take steroids hasn’t be documented and constantly rising because of society’s judgment on there lack of muscles and ability to be “star athletes”.

    If you think it’s criminal that fine, (I actually really don’t have an issue with that because it’s not regardless of what we think) but your arguments for this are weak.

  • lostluv224

    They are tripping. He’s too young to make such a decision, and they’re too old to be so foolish. It might not be abuse because they may genuinly think they’re helping him, but its sure is stupid.

  • Pilot

    @I got sense!

    Valid point regarding the legality issue; obviously what the mothers are doing is legal in California, or at least legal in Ber-zerkley. So I will concede that.

    Concerning the lack of accolades coming the little boy’s way in the future, I can certainly concede that – that is going to be a pretty tough road for him.

    Concerning the cutting open of flesh part, you can’t compare the abstract logic skills of a teenager and a little boy; obviously a teenager knows that inserting a metal ball in his arm and pretending it’s a bicep isn’t going to get him anywhere. Whereas a little boy aged 7 could posiibly think it would make sense that cutting off his penis would make him a girl. So that point is cast aside.

    Meh, I don’t know; I still think the two adult women are acting very irresponsibly (even if it’s not illegally) and performing a social experiment on their son. And I can’t help thinking there is some PC/feminist/LGBT sentiment at work from their end in their decision as well. Sorry, call me cynical. But, anyway, poor kid.

  • ghosttown

    they should wait until he’s 18 or at least 17 so he can be sure that this is what he wants and he’s fully developed.. there was a guy who got a sex change and then years later changed his mind.. now he can only get an erection by pumping his testicles (he had to get a fake penis since he got the change)

  • Candy (aka Leanee)

    Wow. Please be kidding…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Hareema-Akinak/100000531851239 Hareema Akinak

    I agree. I think 11 is way too young to allow a sex change myself. The hormones aren’t even fully developed @ that age, so what kind of trauma could this be doing to the body? If that was my child, I would have made them to wait until they were over 18 to get the sex change.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Hareema-Akinak/100000531851239 Hareema Akinak

    Agreed. 11 is waaay too young for a sex change. I understand parents want to support their children unconditionally, but have some boundaries!

  • bosslady

    This only adds fuel to the fire of why I believe homosexuals SHOULD NOT adopt. I have nothing against people being gay, BUT it only caused a child confusion…This is the perfect example.

  • African Mami

    SIGN LANGUAGE AT TWO YEARS OF AGE AND TOLD YA’LL HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHE….GTFOH!

    GENDER REASSIGNMENT AT SUCH A TENDER AGE….I DO NOT CARE WHETHER IT WAS DONE ON LEGAL GROUNDS OR WHATEVER, BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, THE DECISION SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIS

    SO MANY QUESTIONS AND LOTS OF WTF ANSWERS!

  • African Mami

    @ honeyxzillah,

    For heaven’s sake the baby is only 11 years old. Not mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally developed. What if years down the line she decides that she is not happy about the now, I would think irreversible procedure. and wants to revert back to being a boy. Then what?! As the parents, I think the ultimate decision maker should have been their kid, and not them!!!!! Some of their explanations do not make any damn sense…2 year old communicating gender issues. I call it BULL!

  • I got sense!

    @Pilot

    You said:
    “Concerning the cutting open of flesh part, you can’t compare the abstract logic skills of a teenager and a little boy; obviously a teenager knows that inserting a metal ball in his arm and pretending it’s a bicep isn’t going to get him anywhere. Whereas a little boy aged 7 could posiibly think it would make sense that cutting off his penis would make him a girl. So that point is cast aside.”

    This proves my point. A teenage boy would know better but a 7 year old little boy only knows that this penis and testicles makes me a boy and is so desperate for his outsides to match his insides that he is willing to do anything to achieve this, even hurt himself. This is also why I feel that the parents are NOT being irresponsible. Because the teenage boy will NOT cut his arm open to implant fake biceps but this child has tried to castrate himself. This is why I stated your argument is weak. You can’t compare the emotional, psychological, and physical developments of a 7 year old to a teenager. You did that with your originally comparison of a father and son wanting to be the best athlete and stronger than all the other boys, not me. I am simply pointing out how flawed that argument was. Do you get it now?

    You said:
    “Meh, I don’t know; I still think the two adult women are acting very irresponsibly (even if it’s not illegally) and performing a social experiment on their son. And I can’t help thinking there is some PC/feminist/LGBT sentiment at work from their end in their decision as well. Sorry, call me cynical. But, anyway, poor kid.”

    This is not the first child to undergo this process but it is still very new and controversial so who knows but I wouldn’t call it a experiment simply because the little boy initiated the reaction. The parents didn’t come up with the idea and force it on him. As far as the “PC/feminist/LGBT sentiment at work from their end” (there is not data to support this) obviously no one knows for sure but they already stated in the article that this is confusing and new to them as well, “Even though she has lesbians as parents, this is all new to us in every possible way. We know what it’s like to feel different – we’ve got that one. But to feel like you’re not in the right body was just something we could not put our heads around.” So they are just as confused as everyone else but would rather keep their child alive than to lose them to suicide because they wouldn’t (or couldn’t) accept them.

    It just breaks my heart every time someone kills themselves because people wouldn’t let them be who they are, but especially children and teens.

  • I got sense!

    I’ve read a couple of your comments and I just wanted to point out that she hasn’t had surgery or anything. You keep saying gender reassignment which she hasn’t done, she’s only taking hormones and the parents have already stated that it will be her decision when she’s older to have the surgery and proceed as female or stop the hormones and develop into a male, “‘In other words, she will stay as a pre-pubescent boy until she decides and we feel that she can make this decision about surgery. His parents say the hormone treatment will give him time to figure out if he wants to fully transition to being female or go through puberty as a boy”.

  • Shirl

    @LN …I couldn’t have said it better. And also, why would his moms put this out there. This is absolutely no body’s business but their own. This poor child is going through enough as it is without some of the ignorant and hurtful comments that she is going to get from the public.

  • Ketta

    There was a time where the pre opt transgendered had to under go a mental evaluation before proceeding with the changing of gender. I’m not sure if this is strictly for those wanting surgery or for all, but where is the boy’s evaluation. Perhaps getting the mental help he needs so he wouldn’t mutilate himself would have suppressed or eliminated feelings to change genders at such a young age.
    Parents seem to have given up on parenting! Giving in to a child knowing what lies ahead of him/her in the future is child abuse. Neglect to be more specific.

  • mw

    all due respect African Mami, but so far, the parents haven’t done anything medically irreversible

  • mw

    There was an earlier comment that said the title of the post was inflammatory. After reading many of the comments, I have to agree: too many people seem to have commented before/in lieu of reading the article.

    Though I’m sure the writer of the post meant well, she’s left out much analysis and many facts and so conclusions are being made.

    The sign language that the baby used wasn’t gibberish but actual sign due to apraxia.

    If you do some research on Tammy, she’s already been diagnosed with gender identity issues.

    What the mothers are buying their daughter is time: time to figure out if this is indeed what she wants without the complications of puberty.

    While I certainly agree that children change as they grow, some things are fundamental– like identity. Some children are much more advanced than others: this is a flippant analogy but— in 5th grade, not all of us thought the opposite sex (or even the same sex) was yucky.

    Before casting judgement or even support, I implore you all to do further research.

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids/

  • Pilot

    It is not making your statements more compelling or cogent to keep asking, “Do you get it now?”. You may be laboring under the extreme delusion that you have more grey matter than me; and perhaps I am to blame for that since in the spirit of on candor and fair play, I acknowledged some valid points you made. You seem to have taken that concession, and now you’re running with it. Regardless, the repeating of this line is not doing anything to win me over to your point of view.

    So, your comparison of the teeenage boy and the seven year-old: I don’t see how that proves your point as you are the one that made the comparison. As far as I’m concerned, there is no comparison, because the idea is ludricous.

    Moving on, you ended with, “It just breaks my heart every time someone kills themselves because people wouldn’t let them be who they are, but especially children and teens.”

    This really begs the question, “How does anyone know what this boy is at this point?” He’s too young and his personality/psyche is still “plastic and malleable”, his two lesbian mommies are just guessing themselves, and so forth. How do anyone know whether he’s going to be heterosexual and want his penis and his male hormones, or be bisexual and want his penis and his male hormones, or be homosexual and want his penis and his male hormones, or be a transsexual and want his penis and his male hormones, or be a transsexual and NOT want his penis and his male hormones? Who knows?

    But his parents have made the decision to not give him his male hormones on schedule, and getting those male hormones on schedule could have an effect on what choice he makes later in terms of what he wants to be.

    There is something very disquieting about the way this is playing out IMO. It certainly doesn’t feel right, and in fact, it feels creepy and wrong to me. I feel for the kid, and I feel for the parents, but I do not agree with the parents’ course of action.

    And I suppose that no amount of cajoling or prodding from you or anyone else is going to move me from that point of view.

    And with that in mind, I suppose it’s time for you and I to end our dialogue on this, and stop monopolizing this discussion.

    Enjoyed the discouse…

  • Pilot

    Ha!

    “Enjoyed the discourse” ( a fat-fingered error)

  • LN

    @Swirl… OMG! That’s EXACTLY what I was thinking!! This situation is controversial and sensitive enough, why the HELL would you publish it in a national newspaper!!

    Something about this couple’s parenting skills is just… off…

  • I got sense!

    @Pilot

    I’m not trying to make you agree with me, win you over or anything else. Like I already said, regardless of what you or I think a decision has already been made by Tammy and her parents and that decision will not be swayed by comments on a blog from strangers. If I offended you I do apologize as that was never my intent but apparently you are offended. I’m not sure why as this is not a contest and nothing said here is going to change anything in this world. This conversation is not that serious. It’s just comments on a blog *for me*. Actions speak louder than words so that is where I focus most of my energy but I digress….

    YOU were the one to bring up the comparison of the fathers and son with steroids scenario FIRST. What I’ve been saying since my first response to you was that the two could not be compared because they were so different. I’m glad you see that now because that’s not what you initially typed. Here is the post I’m referring to where you CLEARLY were the one who brought this scenario into the conversation:

    Pilot
    SEPTEMBER 30, 2011 AT 10:07 AM
    Hmmm, I’m not one of those people that think homsexuals or lesbians choose to be that way, and I think this is child abuse. The parents (through some doctor) are pumping lots of extra hormones into their kid. How is that not physical abuse?

    If you had a heterosexual man giving his heterosexual son anabolic steroids and human growth hormone to make him more manly and better in sports (which is also more manly to his way of thinking), you would be the first to scream, “That isn’t right!” And I’d be right behind you, saying that father needs to go to jail.

    But, somehow, it’s okay for these lesbians to give their son female hormones to make him more female? When he’s legally still a child?

    I don’t know the sexuality of Tammy and neither does her parents but Tammy does know and whether people can or will accept that is another question. Sexuality is not “plastic and malleable”. This has been proven over and over again, a great example will be with the fact that two straight parents CAN produce gay, lesbian, transgender kids and vice versa. You are what you are, in my opinion, I don’t know why I’m heterosexual or why I don’t feel like I am a boy trapped in a girl’s body. I just am the way I am. :-)

    I’m not trying move you from your point of view by any means. This is a blog for exchanging thoughts and ideas. That’s all I’m doing. I’m also not monopolizing this discussion as many other people have been commenting and sharing their thoughts and opinions. I too have enjoyed the conversation and will continue to express mine freely. I hope to converse with you again.

  • http://none Kit

    I can’t say this doesn’t concern me. I think anyone can develop these kinds of issues if they have a predisposition and are exposed to the right environmental conditions (like being raised by 2 homosexual mothers). I also think things like the chemicals and hormones in foods (esp. meats) contribute towards gender and sexual identity issues, as well as a host of other factors.
    I don’t doubt that homosexual parents want the best for their children, but I think like any other pairing of guardians, they can influence the development of the children they are raising.

  • cordelearts

    ‎”he was allowed to dress like a girl, wearing bras, headbands, and the like. ”

    –> See this is the problem, why is a boy wearing a bra? I mean little girls don’t even wear bras til they have breast.

    This is worse as those beauty pageant moms, well twice as worse but same mentality.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ashley-Sykes/1065177536 Ashley Sykes

    um…. how does an 11 year old boy know hes supposed to have a vagina? how does he even know what a vagina looks like???

    also i wonder what would happen if there was a black person who felt like they were in the wrong race would they have to go through the same thing transsexuals go throough. does that exist??

  • nini

    Did the two women think about their son wants to look like them, most boys want to look like their father and be like their father and unless one of the parents had a sex change there is ome feminine in both ladies behavoir and looks

  • Chica

    As a 17 year old girl who’s about 4 years removed from puberty, yes it’s a jarring time for EVERYONE. But I can only imagine how mortified I’d be if I felt like a guy and all of a sudden I’m getting boobs. It has to be ten times worse for transsexuals. This is one of those cases when unless you are a transsexual, you really don’t know what it feels like. It’s like when white folks tell me that the experiences I’ve had with racism are all in my head. They don’t know what it means to be black, so their ability to pass judgement on my true feelings is limited. Same thing goes for the ability of people like us (who are thankfully ok with how they were born) judging others going through a gender identity crisis.

  • Chica

    Thank you! So many people are taking this article, that really didn’t go into depth about Tammy’s situation, at face value.

  • ghosttown

    girl you know they would…if it was actually possible i know alot of people who would…remember on tyra when those ladies wanted lighter skin and they told them they had like 80% chance of dying or they would be stuck repeatedly with 40 needles at once or it cost 40grand and they was tryna mortage they house…if it was possible, it would happened..TRUST

  • PhDiva

    He is only surpressing puberty at this point….Did everyone miss this part of the article. He is not getting a sex change at 11 years old? I can sympathize with his parents esp. given the high incidence of suicide among ppl with gender identity disorder. I don’t really think his parents lesbianism has anything to to with this. I think they are trying to do the best they can given the situation. Hormone therapy can be stopped and reversed and I think it is wise to give him time to sort this all of emotionally and psychologically.

    That said, I wouldn’t necessarily allow my child to wear female gender specific clothing either…He can wear neutral colors like greens or even yellows but bras? That’s like a full fledged endorsement of the transition without making sure he is exposed to being a boy while taking these hormones.

    I think it is easy to pass judgement on these parents because this is so foreign to us. But as a parent, wouldn’t you do whatever it takes to keep your child alive and emotionally well?

  • http://guulo.wordpress.com/ Guulo

    This is such a complex issue, quite fascinating although so very tragic. I feel for those kids and see why indeed the biggest battles we ever have as human beings are the battles within us.

    @But as a parent, wouldn’t you do whatever it takes to keep your child alive and emotionally well?

    I think this is a great question and I don’t think anyone really doubts these parents love their child. What people are questioning are the methods. I am not a parent, but indeed I think every parent would do whatever it takes to help their child live the best possible life, but surly there is another way here? A lot of kids have emotional problems and self-esteem issues, probably not as intense as the ones dealing with gender issues, but surly there is another way than taking these drastic measures? I’d be interested to know what they have tried before coming to this decision. Or is it simply letting the child’s feelings to be happy lead the way to the decision, this is how it comes across to me and if that is the case then it begs many questions.

    I certaintly don’t know this family, but just from the short video these quotes from the mom’s stood out for me.

    One of the mom says: “I think you look like a girl, I think you are a girl.”

    I can’t help but wonder are the mother’s reinforcing this idea into the child’s head? Afterall this is a child, an 11 year old, therefore highly impressionable.

    And this: “Tammy leads the way, she is the one we listen to. We have to allow Tammy lead the way, because we are not transgender. And I don’t necessarily think we completely understand it.”

    Fair enough that they don’t understand it, but does it mean Tammy does? I can’t help but think why would a parent let an 11 year old’s feelings lead the way on a complex, mindboggling, life altering decision such as this?

    All in all, a highly complicated situation that one could only wish to never be in!

  • African Mami

    @ mw,

    Guilty as charged, will read more on the issue…thanks for providing a link.

  • Rukyoftheyear

    Whatever she or he is…i’m just trying to figure out why she (he) has breast at 11 years old…I didn’t get mine until I was 13…maybe I was a later bloomer or something…lol.

  • LemonNLime

    I truly feel for this child and her family. I can’t imagine feeling like I was born in the wrong body.

    If my son came to me with this crisis in identity at the age of 2 or 3 I would take note of it and continue to pay attention. If at 7 the issue of self mutilation came up, that would NOT fly. I would explain that, no I can’t imagine what you are going through but you are still a CHILD and feel this way today but you may feel another way tomorrow. I would try to explain the fact that he is still growing and developing and if at 18 he wants to undergo surgery he will be an adult and can do so. I would encourage him to express him himself, talk openly with me, and continue to self reflect and reevaluate his identity, if he chooses to live as a girl I would try to be open to it, if there are issues in school even just little ones, I would hope he told me because I would unleash a typhoon of holy hell on the people messing with my child…no joke, but I can’t support surgery and hormone treats on a child.

  • S.

    Wouldn’t it have just been easier to give him more male hormones? O_o

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Madelyn-Mills/509505818 Madelyn Mills

    It’s like half the people commenting didn’t even read the full article.

    This article is completely misleading. This child is not going about a “sex change”. The parents are simply BLOCKING hormones for a few years so that the child can be sure of the options and make a choice. This is ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than actually applying a male or female sex hormone and pushing the child through a “sex change”.

    This post is very poorly written, sensationalistic, and inaccurate. Most children start puberty around age 11, so they are already stalling this child’s puberty for an extra 5 or more years so the child can be sure.

    I don’t doubt that the child knows exactly what gender they are. I’ve always known what gender I was and it was never in question for me. But I agree with the parents and doctors that it’s a good idea to block puberty for a few more years to allow the child time to be sure what path is right for them.

  • sweetpisces

    Oh Lord what is this world coming to?

  • Pietra

    Thank you!!! I was disturbed with some of the answers, seems that people only bother to read the title of the article… Not to mention that thanks to this article, poorly written by the way, some readers of the blog will use this to reinforce their objections with gay couples adopting.

  • Kaydee-P

    Tammy has not had surgery yet. When she is of the age to decide, she will. Kudos to her parents…A lot of people will dredge up some hateful argument based in this story why same-sex parents shouldn’t adopt. They will say they are forcing Tammy into an alternative, devious lifestyle, that they are making her a poster child, all sorts of terrible things. But I’d bet the house that those same people would never say the same thing about the parents who send their child to a camp to “pray the gay away”- or even the parents who push their children into sports and programs and other lifestyle choices at the same age.

    Children are far more intuitive than we’d like to believe. If my two year old child expressed in anyway that they felt so deeply out of place, I would believe them without a doubt and do all I could as a parent to protect them and not oppress them. It’s a shame that there are probably kids with parents on threads like these who wouldn’t do the same.

  • http://@clnmike Clnmike

    People running around here talking about the article is misleading and the kid is not getting a sex change operation so we should all relax need to stop. It doesn’t matter if the kid is getting a sex change or not. An 11 year old boy says he is a girl and threatens to mutilate himself about it, is given drugs to halt his puberty to see if he still wants to be a girl. Despite the fact that going through puberty should be a part of the process if your the type to even think an 11 year old should make a life altering choices like that. The decision process of the adults around this kid, which I find blatantly irresponsible, is what is being questioned.

  • isolde

    @Madelyn

    Co-sign. Most of these comments are disgustingly ignorant, but sadly, I’m not at all surprised. If this were Jezebel, not only would the subject matter in the article been handled better, but the response would have been completely different, in part because most of the commenters would have actually read the source article before commenting. “Why does an 11 year old even know what a vagina is?” Give me a fcuking break!

  • isolde

    Why do you feel like you have so much insight on the raising of transgender children? If Tammy is so distraught over having pre-pubescent male sex characteristics that she wants to self mutilate, what in the hell would make you think that going through puberty would alleviate those problems? Yes, having a bigger penis and facial hair is going to make Tammy feel so much better. This is decision that Tammy’s parents have deemed the best case scenario for the time being, and they and their physician (who also condones the treatment) know a hell of a lot more about this diagnosis than you. So where do you get off calling them irresponsible?

    It’s like none of you have ever heard of “Princess Boy” or seen an episode of Oprah or 20/20, with trans children who are well aware of their conditions at young ages. There’s nothing uncommon about Tammy’s desire to transition at her age. It’s not some phase that they grow out of when they reach adulthood. Transfolk don’t wake up when they’re 18 and decide that they’re in the wrong bodies. They’ve known all along, but many/most don’t get to transition until they are self sufficient because they’re parents won’t allow it.

  • http://@clnmike Clnmike

    No, who are you to think this is how you should raise kids? What part of, an 11 year child, do you not understand? You don’t give children, who change their mind like the weather, an option on changing their natural biology because their uncomfortable with the sex there given. He wants to change up he can wait till turns eighteen like every other kid has to wait for before they get to make adult choices for far less decisions than this. That’s when they have accumulated enough experience to make an independent informed decision, an experience that includes puberty which consists of a lot more than having a “bigger penis and facial hair”. Heaven forbid the kid actually changes his mind and likes being a boy. That’s why the kid’s parents are irresponsible, there not looking at both sides of the coin. They heard girl and ran with it.
    As for “Princess Boy” if it the article I’m thinking of there is a hell of a difference between a little boy who likes to dress up as a girl and one who has his puberty put on pause to be a girl. That holds no weight here. 18 is the magic number, you want to switch up do it after you’ve gained some life experience.

  • isolde

    I guess you missed the part where I said that you’re not a physician or any kind of professional with experience in treating transgender children. It’s ok though. I’m sure that makes you more qualified to determine the proper treatment than Tammy’s parents or her doctors. If you bothered to read the source article, you would’ve seen that the protocol when treating those with this condition is to start transitioning them as soon as the diagnosis is made, not at some arbitrary age when you decide it’s appropriate. It makes no sense to apply your brand of cis-gender logic to a transgender child. And again, reading is fundamental. Tammy’s parents aren’t making any permanent, irreversible “life altering” decisions for her if they’re merely delaying Tammy’s puberty for a few years so they can further weigh their options.

  • http://@clnmike Clnmike

    Yeah reading is fundamental but apparently comprehension and critically thinking are not. There were a whole lot of standard medical procedures used in the past to treat people including lobotomy, leeches, electro therapy, forced sterilisation, and a drug for everything under the sun. You don’t have be a medical doctor to have common sense. Common sense would have told you that stopping a child from going through puberty for a “few years” while every child around them moves on so that they can “weigh their options” with out the benefit of allowing the child the experience of transition into a young adult boy is stacking the deck. But that’s OK though ignorance is bliss.

  • damidwif

    Yes @LW. i would like to say i’m shocked by the comment section in general, but having read the comments on this site for months, i’d be lying.

  • damidwif

    “It’s like when white folks tell me that the experiences I’ve had with racism are all in my head. ”

    yep

  • damidwif

    “While I certainly agree that children change as they grow, some things are fundamental– like identity. Some children are much more advanced than others: this is a flippant analogy but— in 5th grade, not all of us thought the opposite sex (or even the same sex) was yucky.”

    what does shock me in the comment section is people apparently having no knowledge of, or vehemently ignoring, the physiological, mental, and emotional maturity that an 11 year old may have. May. Parents, in general, have the best judgement about their child’s maturity. Not outsiders, not even psychologist. 11 year olds have sex, get pregnant, have abortions, babies. Come on now! Do you all have children? Have you worked with children, especially as a teacher?

  • isolde

    “Common sense would have told you that stopping a child from going through puberty for a “few years” while every child around them moves on so that they can “weigh their options” with out the benefit of allowing the child the experience of transition into a young adult boy is stacking the deck.”

    _______________________________________________________________

    Says you, but what experience do you have with treating transgender children. Oh, that’s right, NONE. Yet, you know what is and is the responsible course of action? Ok, whatever. Tammy does not identify as a boy. Get it? Tammy is a girl, trapped inside a boy’s body. She’s not going to wake up after have gone through puberty and change her mind. Given her state, maturing into an adult male will likely exacerbate her suicidal and self mutilating tendencies, not give her some sort of profound insight into being male. You’re only demonstrating how shallow your understanding of Tammy’s condition is. You and your supposed common sense logic do not trump those with actual expertise and experience raising trans kids.

  • Tami

    I would not let an 11 year old boy dress as a female. As a mother, I just couldn’t do it. Now, when he got a lot older and was able to decide for himself what he really wanted to be, then I would have to support him. I think its something wrong when parents give into every single whim a child has. He is just too young for the parents to allow such things.

  • http://@clnmike Clnmike

    “Says you, but what experience do you have with treating transgender children.”

    What experience does anybody have with transgender kids? I tell you what I do have experience in is kids period. Enough to know not to trust the judgment of a child and halt their puberty. Given a chance kids will identify with anything that peeks their interest, that why you ride it out till they become adults. GET IT? You don’t know this kid to say what there going to wake up to but either way waiting for he/her to hit 18 while going through puberty won’t stop a chane if that’s what she is, that drugs for that too.

    ” Given her state, maturing into an adult male will likely exacerbate her suicidal and self mutilating tendencies,”

    Since you like calling into question some ones “experience” with these matters. Really Doctor? You’ve drawn out this information from your years of research working in the field have you? Because of course your studies have found that children who identify as the opposite sex will first kill themselves or mutilate themselves as there first option. Not because they live in a society that rejects them for what they are and makes them feel less than human for it, no its because there not given the drugs they need to change over. Yes I see the “logic” in you research. Will just ignore all the transgenders who made it to adulthood in one piece before making the transition, raised by there inexperienced parents. Yup, that’s the ticket.

  • isolde

    “What experience does anybody have with transgender kids?”
    Obviously Tammy’s parents, the parents of thousands of other transgender youth, and the physicians and medical professionals that treat them have experience with transgender kids. And you claim to have common sense. Anymore stabs to your credibility you care to posit?
    ____________________________________________________________________

    “Because of course your studies have found that children who identify as the opposite sex will first kill themselves or mutilate themselves as there first option.”
    ____________________________________________________________________

    WTF? Read the damn source article, already! Tammy already threatened to cut her penis off age 7. So, yes, she’s already considered self mutilation and God knows what else.

    __________________________________________________________________
    “Since you like calling into question some ones “experience” with these matters. Really Doctor? You’ve drawn out this information from your years of research working in the field have you?”
    ____________________________________________________________________

    I never claimed to be a doctor. Based on what Tammy’s mothers are saying in the source article, the testimony of Tammy’s desire to self mutilate, and the statistics about half of transgender youth committing suicide before age 20, it isn’t too much of a stretch to reason that one of the reasons why they’re delaying her puberty has to do with the fear of what becoming an adult male might do to Tammy psychologically, given her gender identity disorder. And apparently suicide isn’t out of the realm of possibility, if she’s already threatened to cut her penis off. Unlike you, I’m not ignorant or arrogant enough to assume that I’m better equipped to know more than the parents and medical professionals treating a child with a condition that I’ve only read about or seen through secondhand sources. With questions like, “ what experience does anybody have with transgender kids,” common sense would dictate that Tammy’s parents are far better informed and knowledgeable about Tammy’s condition than you. “MW” already posted a link to another article on the first page of comments, giving more information about the condition, so why don’t you try reading that before you stick your foot further down your throat.

  • sli

    How is THIS article misleading? It basically says the same thing as THE SOURCE article. The author just cut out the extra fluff to make her article shorter. The main points are still there. The title of the source article is:

    “The little boy who [STARTED] a sex change aged eight because he (and his lesbian parents) knew he always wanted to be a girl: Parents say it’s better for Thomas to have sex change before he is adult”

    The title of this article is:

    “From Tommy to Tammy: Sex Change Already [IN PROGRESS] for 11 Year Old Boy”

    What’s the difference between “started” and “in progress?” When you find out, let me know. You all are acting a little extra with your comments about this article being inaccurate and sensationalistic. I think most of us can read and very well, thank you. Now if you don’t like some of our comments because maybe you don’t agree with them, fine, but don’t act like you’re privy to some additional important information simply because you read the source article. The fact of the matter is this: most people believe that the parents are being irresponsible by allowing a CHILD to dictate what he wants done to his body. That’s it.

  • damidwif

    @Sli you could also qualify your “most people” argument with: most people on this site, or most people who take the time to comment on this site, or this article, because well, i’d stand to guess that “most people” have hetero and cis privilege. it doesn’t mean that what they are saying is right. its just an opinion that is held, in light of their experiences, ignorance or a combination of both.

  • au napptural

    This child needs therapy. It never ceases to amaze me how in every other area parents are parents- they won’t let their child stay up too late or have candy for dinner, but when it’s gender or sexuality then the child knows best. To me the kid saying he wanted to be a girl at 2 is about as relevant as him saying he wanted to be a dinosaur. Who knows what was in his childish mind? Maybe he saw the girls getting more candy, maybe he liked the colors they wore, who knows. The point is, this situation is getting press and attention b/c it is gender-based. To me, the child hasn’t even gone through puberty yet, so how could this child know he wanted to be girl? The hormones that really seperate men and women haven’t come into play, aside from private areas there isn’t much separating pre-pubescent girls and boys.

    It’s amazing this is a conversation, but that’s how things are now. I imagine soon people will be getting rid of everything they don’t like about themselves. I like what someone said about black children asking to become white. Maybe that’ll be on the table, since everything else is. Why do we only teach our children to love themselves in certain ways? If it’s skin color they dislike, we teach self-acceptance, if it’s gender, people talk reassignment. To me, God makes no mistakes. You were born who you were meant to be, so love that entire self, body and soul.

    I do think the parents being lesbians played a huge role. Adults are looking for confirmation their lifestyle is right in children. Sadly, they’ll encourage children in those paths for their own peace of mind. Yes, I know being gay and transgendered aren’t the same, but the LGBT movement tends to bootstrap. As in, if you acccept homosexuality as a given, then you get transgenderism with it. In this way, the child’s statements bolster the legitimacy of his parents lifestyle. Truth is stranger than fiction for sure. SMH

  • sli

    damidwif wrote: “…its just an opinion that is held…”

    @damidwif: That’s my OVERALL point. Everyone is giving their opinion on the question posed, which is:

    “is it wrong for parents to allow children with gender identity issues to take the journey towards reassignment?”

    Most people responding (to this article) are stating that it is wrong for these parents to allow their child to take that journey at such a young age. I’m not implying that most of us are right. There are no right or wrong answers, only OPINIONS, and my problem is this: our opinions are being called IGNORANT supposedly based on our limited understanding of the subject matter and/or lack of reading skills. I think I can safely say that most of us read and understood the article fairly well. All I want to know is how does one become an ALL KNOWING EXPERT on the subject simply because they read an additional article, an article that is basically the same as this one? Now, if you want to disagree with our stance, then do that. We’ll just have to agree to disagree, but don’t insult people. You’re not any more knowledgeable of the subject than we are.

  • Timcampi

    I’m pretty sure a child knows what sort of sexuality and gender they prefer. That’s why most people who are homosexual discover they are so at an early age. The only reason why people would have a problem with this is because they ARE HETEROSEXUAL/NOT TRANSGENDERED. You’ve never had to question your sexuality because society caters to you! This is a big UH DUH moment. Christ, some of these answers are exactly what drove some of my queer identified friends towards suicide, drugs or depression. No child decides for kicks that they want to be of the opposite gender. And his opinion is not going to change as he gets older. Kids are not the retarded incapable little sh*ts adults always try to paint them as. My god this is annoying.

    And let me not start on the LIES AND SENSATIONALISM in this article. It’s freaking annoying how neutrality and respect is a GIVEN on any other site but minority media. I am appalled. I agree with @isolde. Jezebel readers are often more informed, if not more thoughtful about these issues. Just don’t bother writing about queer issues if you’re not going to handle it correctly. I’m pretty sure they don’t need anymore a-holes making cases for them/against them.

  • Timcampi

    “The only reason why people would have a problem with this is because they ARE HETEROSEXUAL/NOT TRANSGENDERED. You’ve never had to question your sexuality because society caters to you! ”

    I’m going to clarify this statement. Because someone will say something stupid.

    Elaboration:

    Much like a heterosexed white man is unable to care about race, sexuality or gender issues because he NEVER HAS TO FACE THEM. People who belong to Hetero-normative societies and follow the prevailing sexuality (heterosexual, duh) will never have to question WHY they are heterosexual or like the opposite gender. We are not all afforded that luxury. It’s like someone saying to a child, “Racism and your depression over your discriminated status doesn’t exist because you’re too young to understand it. Why not come back after you hit puberty and we’ll see if you feel the same way.” A child KNOWS when something is amiss. That’s why we have so many commenters on this site who react SOLELY on what happened to them when they were younger. Try and prove me wrong.

    Are. You. Sh*tting me? Why is this so hard to understand? I’m really not getting it guys.

    Anyway end rant. You can tell this issue is close to my heart.

  • damidwif

    the only things “being lesbians” played a role in are:

    1. lesbians typically plan to have a child, thus the reason why
    2. studies are showing that children do better in lesbian households, because of mutual support in child-rearing, and
    3. the frankness and closeness that is involved in being a parent in a society that is homophobic…

    the parents don’t ENCOURAGE the child to be LGBTQI, they ACCEPT and validate the children’s expressions and decisions with love….unconditional love that many hetero families don’t have because of beliefs (about sexuality, religion, partnership)

    Who gets peace of mind knowing that their child is a self-harmer? And who gets peace of mind knowing the sheer hatred their child will face in light of their decisions regarding sexuality?

    Geez

  • Timcampi

    @au napptural

    Did you not read the part that says they have two older sons who are both straight and have children?

  • Nina

    If I could “like” this, I would. Couldn’t agree more!

  • Nina

    “It’s freaking annoying how neutrality and respect is a GIVEN on any other site but minority media.”

    Oh, well see, I’m a minority, a black woman, and I agree with everything you said. But what is this “…any other site but minority media”? So, now everyone who comments and/or authors on minority media sites are incompetent? This is why society will never change. You’re advocating for this child’s rights to choose who they want to be & promote self-awareness while all the while spewing ignorance your damn self? Does that make sense to you?

  • isolde

    ” It’s freaking annoying how neutrality and respect is a GIVEN on any other site but minority media.”

    @Timcampi

    You know, it’s not just Jezebel. I just said that because it was the first site that came to mind. I was just thinking about this. There are minority run sites that are respectful. I used to read that “Womanist Musings” site (it’s been a while, so I have to check it out again), and the owner, (Renee, I think her name is) had this black, transwoman blogger, “Trans-griot (?)” discuss trans issues. She would be perfect to do some 101 or speak on these issues for Clutch.

  • Annie

    It’s pretty amazing to think that many people are not reading this article. First off, this child has been vocal about their wants and needs and I don’t think it’s anyone place to cast judgement on these parents for letting their child take the time to decide of they are ready to experience adulthood as a gender they do not feel they are. Second, if we took the time to listen to our children and help guide them through decisions, this wouldn’t seem so foreign to some of you. Children know what they want and sometimes have a better sense of what is right of them. Third, I’d hope that an 11 year old knew what genital’s looked like. Why are we not educating kids about their bodies?
    Finally, at the end of the day, it’s Tammy’s decision.

  • Timcampi

    @Nina

    You’re right. I’m hypocritical and I apologize for it. But I have yet to be proven wrong. I never said the writers/authors were incompetent. That’s far from what I’m saying. More like, why is it so hard to understand discrimination against others when you belong to a heavily discriminated group. Hence I said minority.

    Also, minority doesn’t only mean race. It applies to feminism and sexuality as well. Contrary to popular belief, many gays and lesbians don’t believe transgendered and asexual identities are a real thing. This wasn’t the only article I read today about this.

    Again, I apologize for my hypocrisy but I’m not taking back what I said.

  • Trini

    My thoughts exactly! I cant even begin to fathom….no words!

  • Cece

    Many of the comments about this article are quite disturbing. I work with transgendered youth and adults. I hear on a regular basis stories of young people who have attempted to commit suicide because no one takes them seriously when they state that they are ‘in the wrong body’. Stories of them being relentlessly bullied, tortured, afraid to go to school. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for Tammy’s parents to make this decision and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. For those who feel that Tammy’s gender identity issues stem from her parents being lesbians, from hormones in food or from a morally corrupt society, you should take the time to hear from those who suffer with this issue.

  • Taylor Hodges

    From what I could glean from this article, the appropriate gender pronouns for Tammy are female pronouns. Please be so kind as to edit this article so that Tammy is no longer referred to as “he” but as she. By using male pronouns instead of the appropriate female ones, it is implied that Tammy cannot truly be female until she undergoes hormone therapy or has gender reassignment surgery. Gender is complex in that one does not need to be female bodied to be female identified, thus those who identify as female should be addressed as female, and vice versa.

    I would also like to applaud Tammy’s parents for taking her thoughts and feelings seriously. It is rare that trans youth have support systems like Tammy does. Tammy, you are very lucky to have such wonderful parents :)

  • http://carloschapa.wordpress.com/ Carlos Cristiano

    These lesbian have admitted before that they wanted to have a girl (I read that in another article), not a boy, that must be a decisive force for this young boy to be accepted in their family — he wanted to be accepted by his mothers — so he wanted to mutilate himself when he was seven years old. Their mothers obviously had a very negative effect on this little boy, who as an orphan wanted to be accepted and loved. This is a clear reason why lesbians and gay couples should not be allowed to adopt children. They are not fit as parents. It’s not the way God created us. It’s immoral and totally against nature. I hope they will take away this little boy from this “family”. They are ruining his life. He just wanted to be what this sick lesbian couple wanted him to be. Very sad story.

  • Joe Krahn

    Trying to “blame” the girls gender identity on the parents is very misguided. Gay boys don’t become straight because they have straight parents, even with a tough macho father. They just become depressed. Experience with thousands of transgender people have shown that people who identify as transgender at a young age know the truth. She is just very lucky to have an environment where she can become herself.

    Just for the sake of argument: Even if she became female because of the parents, how is that ruining her life?? Are you saying that being female is inferior to being male? It is far worse for a macho father to try to force an effeminate male to become masculine, but that happens all the time.

  • http://carloschapa.wordpress.com/ Carlos Cristiano

    Joe Krahn, I never even implied in the most slightly way or manner that males are superior to females. Please don’t try to misquote me implicitly. Males and females are equal, thus even with gender orientation problems they are equal. Besides, I was not talking about natural males or females; I’m talking about those who go against their own nature and (for X reasons) decide that they want to change their genders. If God wanted males to become females or vice versa, He would have made us bisexual creatures. Clearly, this is not the point. It’s been reported that this lesbian couple in particular wanted to have a girl (that’s something not all newspapers chose to add), plus the fact that they themselves have gender identity and/or sexual orientation issues leads to the reasonable conclusion that this boy just wanted to be accepted/loved by their mothers. Moreover, studies that have followed sex-reassignment treatments on young kids have concluded, for instance, that only 12% of boys by the age of 20 continue to want to change genders. This studied was conducted by Dr. Kenneth Zucker, head of the Gender Identity Service in the Child, Youth, and Family Program and professor at the University of Toronto. I am a father myself, and if I’d give my son everything he wanted, I’d be broke. My son (who only two years ago was also 11), is always making me conflicting demands. In general too, kids can be manipulated very easily. In many ways, they try to imitate what they parents are, and in this case if their own parents have “issues” (that is issues that only 20 years ago would have been labeled by virtually all medical experts as “mental or psychiatric issues”), then you can reasonably expect that their kids will also have some issues themselves. Having said this, I am not saying that gays and homosexuals should be discriminated or persecuted or done anything wrong. They are human beings just like me or you, but they clearly have issues. According to studies, homosexuals and gays are about 50% more likely than their heterosexual counterparts to suffer from depression and abuse drugs. In this case, the problem is with his parents, not only with the child himself. Their parents need spiritual counseling themselves. Like I said, just about 20 years ago, virtually any doctor would have also recommended psychiatric treatment, but this world is changing, and so our ever-changing ethical values are also changing medicine and even our own Christian churches (many of which have also changed, modified, altered their interpretation of what the Bible really teaches about homosexual behavior). Our own ethics and attitudes, as a human civilization, changes all the time, over the centuries. Please don’t be surprised or alarmed that the way our world goes, twenty years from now it will probably be also “acceptable” for human beings to have sex relations with machines or even robots. We are not very far from that already.

  • Joe Krahn

    Carlos,
    Perhaps my post was a bit too argumentative, and we both are mainly concerned about the child’s well being. Based on everything I know, the child is very fortunate. All of the transgender people that I know personally knew their gender identity at a young age, and regret not transitioning sooner. Most of them had parents that encouraged living as their genetic gender, which never works, and suicide is not uncommon. However, it is also possible that you are correct that the parents have had too much influence. We cannot know the truth based on a short article.

    My point about the mach father was not to imply you are that sort of person, but that it is equally tragic for a male-to-female transgender child to be forced into being a boy as it is for a standard boy to become female. They are leaving the possibility for her to revert back to a male as she matures. Fortunately, it is very easy to masculinize a person with testosterone, but very hard to undo the effects of testosterone.

  • Jessica H

    I actually know someone who is currently going through gender reassignment. He has straight parents (mother/father), still together. He isn’t homosexual. He was very depressed for a long time, tried to kill himself, until he finally had the money for his surgeries. Now he is VERY happy ever since he started his surgeries.

    Now, I feel like it shouldn’t matter what people did back in the day to people who are “different”. Yes, the world does change.

    You are going to act upon what God finds “wrong” or “evil” and judge that person. But isn’t it in the bible that one should treat others how you would like to be treated? Not only that but you should respect others because God loves them. The Bible says, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10). He chooses to make people in his image but it is us that have to overcome the obstacles that he lays out in front of us. Even if we choose an “unholy” path, God will still forsaken and love us because we are his children.
    You shouldn’t judge and harm people because of what they believe, how they truly feel, or who they are inside or out. You’re suppose to love them, you don’t have to accept it. You are suppose to respect their desire to be a good person, give them a chance to be a good person.

  • http://carloschapa.wordpress.com/ Carlos Cristiano

    Joe I respectfully disagree with one statement of yours. This boy is not being “forced” to being a boy. He’s a boy.

    Jessica, I don’t know about your acquaintance, but here we are talking a couple of women of questionable ethics, who together are planning to eventually MUTILATE or cut the sexual organ of this little boy, only 11 years old, eventually making an IRREVERSIBLE change on him (not to themselves), and they are the LOVING parents while I, myself, who don’t do anything but to write my views only, whose only “sin” is to question this very whole bizarre act, am I the one who is doing the HARM?

    So now I am the EVIL one and these two women the LOVING ones?

  • Andrea

    I found this story terribly disturbing. If we looked at the probability of a young boy being a transexual, added in the probability of two lesbians randomly adopting a child who was a transexually, it could never happen. Mathmatically,i t has to be nurture over nature on this one. Makes me really question whether these women even tried to introduce strong male figures into the boys life. Makes one question both the appropriateness of adoption by same sex couples and the ‘born this way’ argument.

  • http://twitter.com/MadonnaP Madonna

    “This is a clear reason why lesbians and gay couples should not be allowed to adopt children. They are not fit as parents” …if you’d properly read the article, you would have seen that these parents already raised 2 sons prior to adopting Tommy. They even have grandchildren. So blaming them for a child wanting a gender change seems ridiculous and saying they are unfit when they’ve already proved twice that they could raise boys. If they wanted a girl, they could have adopted a female child, so that theory is also silly. None of us know these people, but it seems that they have the child’s best interest in mind. They don’t understand it, so it’s clear that they didn’t want this to happen to their son.

  • http://twitter.com/MadonnaP Madonna

    Thank you so much for the informed comment.

  • Joe Krahn

    There are thousands of lesbian couples in the United States, and the odds of being transgender is easily 1/1000. Statistically, it would be VERY unlikely for there not to be lesbian couples with transgender children in the USA.

    Straight couples are afraid of gender diversity, so most of them don’t want it to be in the public media. This couple is courageous to stand up for what they think is right, but it clearly gives many people a bad impression of same-sex couples. We just need more straight couples to be open about their transgender children. Unfortunately, most of them fear public opinion, and find transgenderism harder to deal with than having a homosexual child.

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  • Aaron

    In the Qur’an in explicitly states that it is forbidden for men to dress/immitate women, and vice versa! ALLAH (subhanah wa ta’la) will judge these people for flagrantly breaking His laws! There is a reason ALLAH (subhanah wa ta’la) created “Tammy” as a boy! If HE wanted “Tammy” to be a girl, he would have created “her” as such! Time to wake up people!!!

  • James Fowler

    Wow is all I can say about this. Im in total agreement with Carlos on this one. I don’t have anything against gays or lesbians but its crazy to me that people are trying to justify what these two women are doing. The boy is 11yrs old again 11yrs old he is a child and he is obviously seeking acceptance by his lesbian mothers who has stated that they really wanted a girl. Now none of us know the circumstances around them adopting this boy however in response to Madonna and her statement about these women previously raising two kids and having grandchildren. Nothing was said to imply that these kids have heterosexual relationships and biological children. If they are homosexual and adopted kids as these women have adopted them then that doesn’t say anything credible about these two women. All I know is that if the state can come in and remove a child from his parents home because he is ridiculously overweight to the point its a health concern. Then I see no reason why the state shouldn’t remove this boy from this house because at the age of 7 if the boy threatens to mutilate himself because obviously there is some pressure for him to be a girl and the parents don’t seek out proper medical help then that’s willful neglect and they shouldn’t be able to maintain custody of that boy. If ten years from now Tommy wants to be Tammy then so be it but at the age of 11. Tommy can’t sign a lease to an apt, apply for a car loan, or even get a cell phone by himself because the law states that a child at this age isn’t mature enough to enter into a legal agreement so how the hell is mature enough to want to undergo a sex change operation. These women need their head examined as well as that dam doctor and the boy simply needs to be removed from the home. I again have nothing against gays and lesbians but I don’t think they should have the ability to adopt children. Because had Tommy been adopted by a single woman or a single man or even a heterosexual couple I can guarantee this wouldn’t be an issue. SMH.

  • Joe Krahn

    Many of the people commenting have not bothered to read the article carefully. There is NO SEX CHANGE operation at age 11, and no mutilation. She is getting hormones to DELAY PUBERTY. The approach is intentionally designed to make the change non-permanent. She can still go back to being a boy and have no long-term physical effects. However, feminization after being exposed to testosterone is much more difficult.

  • Marie Bridgeforth

    I feel that what they are doing to this little boy is wrong. Kids tend (not in all cases) to do what they see their parents doing. He wanted to be a girl because he’s being raised by 2 women. He sees them interacting with eachother the way a man and woman should interact. He’s confused. I beleive that if he was meant to be a female God(Jesus Christ) would have created him female. God makes not mistakes. I feel that being gay/lesbian is wrong and is sinful against God. I also feel that it is no more sinful than fornication between men and women, lying, gossip, theft, and not having faith in God. SIN IS SIN!!!! God didnt intend for people to be gay/lesbian. He destroyed whole cities because of this. He speaks about homosexuality in Romans. Homosexuality brings forth death. Everything that God created he gave the ability to produce and continue to bring forth life. Homosexuality stops the process of bringing forth life. It is unfruitful,unproductive and against God’s plan for Life. This boy is adopted. So on top of being abandoned by his real parents he has to struggle to fit in where he already feels he doesnt belong. So he conforms to what he sees, to blend in. If these 2 women dont get their life right with God they will suffer hells torment and will lead this little boy with them. Now Im not judging, thats not my place, but the bible promises that people who does not live but God’s commands they will have their turn in the lake of fire. Its just a fact not my judgement.

  • DRACULA

    SOME FUTURE EVENT THEY WILL REGRET THEIR ACTIONS YOU KEEP SCREWING WITH YAHWH CREATION HE HAS THE ANSWER EVERY TIME THIS CHILD WILL IN SOME FUTURE EVENT WILL REGRET WHAT HE ALLOWED AND THEN HE WILL RETALIATE AGAINST THESE TROLLS WHO THINK THEY ARE NORMAL DEFYING GODS WILL THERE ARE CURSES TO IT AND BOY WILL HE HAVE THE LAST LAUGH WHEN THEY ARE IN HELL FOR THIS INSANITY AGAINST NATURES GOD

  • Seb

    welcome to CA. this is just terrible. I would not allow lesbians and gays taking kids. I’m sure normal humans wouldn’t like their kids taken by sick ‘families’ just because of terrible law. politics just wanted to increase their % so allowed that shit. it is not natural. let them live together, do whatever they want to themselves, but not to others and especially kids. They could not be called family. And this kid could have a lot of issues after such treatment, and also psychological problems (hopefully not). he doesn’t see what is to be a man, since has no father. and now tell me that kids from homo-families are growing normal.

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  • Sean

    Read the bible.its an abomination to be gay.what can a gay couple teach this lil boy,nothin.every boy needs a male figure in thier life,and two women in this lil boys life is only .it going to confuse him.in his mind,this is all right,when its not.i have to go with carlos.he’s trying to fit in and I also believe gay couples should not be aloud to adopt for these exact reasons.

  • Matt

    HEY GUESS WHAT! ITS 2013 GAY IS OK AND YOU ARE PATHETIC BIGGOTS GET A LIFE

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