Recently I read Tayari Jones’ beautiful novel Silver Sparrow. In it, Jones weaves a story of two half sisters—one legitimate, the other deemed illegitimate—and their complicated relationship. Their father, a hardworking businessman, married both of their mothers and loves each child—and presumably their mothers—equally. Even though he can’t really be seen in public with his second family, or else risk being found out, he creates a bond and a strong sense of commitment to each of his households.

Reading the book—and watching people fall in love with someone other than their mate—got to me thinking.

Can people really love two people at once?

While I understand love is limitless and you can easily love more than one child, parent, relative, or friend at a time, can you really, truly be in love with two people concurrently?

What say you Clutchettes and Gents? Is it possible to love two people—equally—at the same time?

Let’s talk about it! 

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  • grandgryph

    lol, aren’t we supposed to love everyone?

    i’d say certainly yes. love isn’t an `exhaustible resource’ – neither need it be `exclusive’. that being said, you don’t have to have sex with everyone that you love.

    as for the poly-amorous thing? not exactly easy. but of course, much more common than people let on. it can be rewarding if the right personalities are involved, a reeking mess if there is jealousy or one-up manship involved.

  • African Mami

    YES it is possible!!!!!!!!!!!! It is unexplainable how it can be so, but it is! There is no need as to why one should choose one over the other. Have them both!!!! I think in the mountains of TIBET polyandry is welcomed and not looked down upon. Considering moving there…at least they accommodate madness!

  • Alexandra

    You can love two different people, but I don’t think equally. I’ve been in a situation like this also, but it was all in my head. I loved one more than the other, even though I felt like I loved both. When it comes to family & friends, yes of course. You can love your mothers and fathers or siblings just as much as the other. But with people you are romantically interested in, I don’t think so. No matter how much you love both, I fell like one will be loved more than the other.

  • Nire

    Wow that’s heavy. I don’t know. There is always the possibility.

  • I think it is not only possible, but also very normal to love more than one person at a time. You love your parents, children, friends and romantic partner(s) all at once, yes? You just show that love in different ways to each of them. You can even be in a relationship with someone and love them deeply and still love someone else. You don’t always have to act on your feelings…and sometimes feelings are irrational.