Boys, Stop
Howdy. Before I get into this mini-rant, I want to again put it out there that I do not hate men. I love them, in fact. Especially my father, my brother, my homeboys, my boo, the many men who I may not know super well, but have connected with or encountered in some professional or personal way and hold in high esteem. Mos Def. Idris Elba. Drake (when his skin is tan and his hair is long). Men are awesome. Go men! Whoop.
*Serious face*
However, I have gotten my absolute fill of some of the venom and nastiness that I hear, read and observe from SOME men on a fairly regular basis. Thus, I am humbly requesting that those offenders out there cease and desist all conversations regarding the following:
Celebrity Prenuptual Agreements: It’s more likely than not that you will die without seeing $60 mil in your bank account. So while you may think that whichever NBA player is a damn fool for getting married to the girl he met at Hooters three months after their first date, you really don’t need to get all worked up when it’s announced that he didn’t make her sign a prenup. Instead of ranting about what you would do if you had his money, consider thinking of these agreements in terms of how they fit in to your actual life. Might you make Tasha sign something saying that she promises not to take half of your $36k a year salary and $100k in student loan debt? Perhaps. You never know, she might really come for your collection of 6 pairs of Jordans in a nasty breakup, so it’s something to consider. But those millions on millions that you don’t have? Probably shouldn’t get so mad about those. Nobody’s gonna take your complete House Party VHS tape collection, promise.
Famous Men Women Love: Mychal’s piece about his girl’s obsession with Idris Elba was cute and he managed to ‘complain’ without really revealing some sort of contempt. But man, let me tell you, I have had ENOUGH of men who can’t suffer a woman complimenting a handsome man without identifying seven reasons why he ain’t all that, would never want us or is probably suffering from some sort of unheard of, incurable STD. Yes, we may point out that Cassie’s remaining hair is part-weave or that you are too old to perv on Vanessa Simmons, but we don’t go as hard as the men do with this sort of hating. Please stop calling every man we like gay, telling us that they ‘like White women anyway,’ that they are actually 5’2″ in real life…we don’t actually think we’re gonna run off with The Rock, so can we enjoy him in peace? The same dudes who go to town on our Andre 3000 lust are out here saying things like, “Serena Williams can get it.” As if you’re the prize and you’re blessing her. LOL, son. L-O-L.
Feminism: I’d never say that there aren’t reasonable criticisms of feminist ideologies, feminist movements and feminists…I’d just say that they rarely come from heterosexual men who haven’t seen a (insert word that I’d never actually say on this site, but I’m thinking it) since they came out of their mother’s. Romantic frustration and ill-advised entitlement don’t make you an expert on gender studies, so can you have read a bit more about feminism than, say, an article on RudeDudes.com that explains how bitches are taking over the world before you make us suffer through a 3000 word comment-essay about how pro-women movements are destroying the Black community? Thanks. Put that argument about how the ‘real’ issue being absentee fathers is women who keep their kids away from their desperate, loving dads in the vertical file while you’re at it, because its not as common as your blinding hatred of women would have you think. This all goes double for Black men, who would probably be ashamed if they realized how painfully similar their “takedowns” of women’s issues sound to those of racist White folks denouncing the struggles of Colored people.
“Hoes”: We womenfolk have gotten pretty tired of certain men telling us that those of us who aren’t virgins, wear skirts above the knee, and use tampons are on the loose side. We don’t see you pulling the puritanical act when policing your own peens, so feel free to join the rest of us here in 2011. Besides, I’d imagine that lowered expectations for sexual partners is probably helping you far more than it hurts you. If we were all out here waiting for Prince Charming to unlock our chastity belts, y’all dudes would never get laid. Get a gratitude journal and pay homage, kiddo.
Unreasonable Physical Standards: It’s one thing to have preferences or certain assets that you appreciate. But, err…if you are a man with a DD-cup, you probably should bite your tongue before hollering about how some size 6 girl needs to tone up her tummy. It’s not cool for the brother with a 6-pack to rip a woman for being “too small” or “too big,” but it sounds even more foolish coming from someone who wouldn’t recognize the gym if it fell in his lap while he watched “Entourage” and ate a second medium pizza. Most of women aren’t going to have 36-24-40 bodies, just as few of you have D’Angelo cuts on a 6’5 frame and a package that would require extra postage. Deal with it. Oh, and if your mom was the last one who called you “cute”? Yeah, you should probably tread really lightly before hollering about who’s a dime and who isn’t. Newsflash: looks matter to us, too. And so does personality. Do you really want to lose both contests?
That’s not so hard, right? Let these hangups go and you’ll be 75% less likely to be the human equivalent of a yeast infection. And you may have more girl friends. Or girlfriends. Or both. Can’t beat that!
You are bitter!
On the beauty scale JZ is about 3-4, however with the amount of money that he has, he gets himself a 10+ woman. Now, do you believe a woman of about 3-4 on the beauty scale who is as rich as JZ can get a partner 10+ like JZ?
Whatever you think unreasonable beauty standard is, most people and I match a man’s financial standard with a woman’s beauty. Therefore, as long as men have money, we can the fattest and the ugliest, we’re still worth the best looking ladies.
# Occupy humor
What makes Beyonce a 10+ woman? Why do people even use numbers to rate people?
wow are you that unashamedly retarded or are you one of those people that hasn’t looked in a mirror lately.
Case in point? Tommy Motolla, LMAO!!!!
While I do agree, right or wrong, men and women’s desirabilty is often based on differing factors – I need you to refer back to point # 1. MOST OF YOU ARE NOT JAY-Z!
The vast majority of men will not have the kind of money that puts their physical flaws in soft focus. All that is being said is if you LOOK like Jay -Z and pull in 30K a year, stop demanding every woman look like Beyonce!
What Mo said. ;)
As African Mami said, #occupyhumor. Sans bitterness and with a side of reading comp. I’m an attractive woman with a significant other. I’m good in regards to my personal life. Yet, the lack of reason some folks bothers me. Hence, this lighthearted post with some serious charges thrown in there. If you really think it’s cool that you can be an out of shape jerk with nothing going for him but his wealth and still be “worth” a beautiful woman, that’s pretty sad. “Worth” is not about looks or money, but an entire package and even a man who looks like Idris or has Jay’s money is not entitled to a beautiful woman! I never thought Jay-Z was unattractive but sure, he’s no model by most standards. He’s talented, has personality and confidence for days and yes, he’s beyond successful. But when you have a dude who doesn’t match him on ANY of those levels, as someone else mentioned, talking about women not being “fine” enough…then there is a little problem, no? It’s all about bringing good things to the table and when you don’t bring much, you should hold your judgement when you feel someone else doesn’t have enough.
It’s really unfortunate that we can’t have any fun on Clutch without the Bitter Bro Brigade showing up, but alas, no one is surprised that you’re here.
-JL
@Mo: Concur, concur, and CONCUR!
Good one Mo!
Lol @ the “Bitter Bro Brigade”
“Now, do you believe a woman of about 3-4 on the beauty scale who is as rich as JZ can get a partner 10+ like JZ?”
Yessssss! Men are “golddiggers” too.
Bitter? Haha! You sure? If you got to know her, you’d come to realize that Jamilah’s one of the coolest women on the net. I wouldn’t have even addressed this comment if it wasn’t for that.
But since I’m here…
Stanley, there’s no need to go on a tangent. A dude has zero credibility when he talks about a girl’s obesity, and he wears a bigger bra size than she does. I think we (as rational human beings) can agree with that.
I don’t even get how money entered the conversation to be honest. Broke dudes always talk about money… #boysstop.
I don’t think you know what the word “bitter” means, dear.
Also, for all you know, Bey is richer than Jay.
@O’Phylia
Beyonce makes 24 million more than Jay-Z. She made 87 million last year while he raked in 63 million.
you must clearly be one of the men mentioned rocking a DD bra & belly like buddha. put the pizza down and hit the damn gym. contrary to many men’s belief… we women like to be able to count your abs and not your multiple stomachs.
good day.
Something must be right in my comment. I can’t believe 15 people reply to it.
@ Stanley,
If that boosts your ego….sure! Nice spin on it.
@Stanley: “Therefore, as long as men have money, we can the fattest and the ugliest, we’re still worth the best looking ladies.”
Ok stan my man, you just keep on believing that little fantasy if it makes you feel better.
NO, SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG WITH YOUR COMMENT, WHICH IS THE REAL REASON SO MANY PEOPLE REPLIED.
Boy, stop wearing those cornrows or braids in your hair when you are 21+ years old!
Boy, stop thinking that because you find a woman attractive, she should change the way she dresses or wears her hair to what YOU like!
Boy, stop thinking that because you cut a woman off while walking, nearly knocking her out of the way to open the door for her that you are now owed a date or conversation!
Boy, stop thinking that because you have on a new pair of Jordans and leather jacket you are ‘doing something’!
“Boy, stop wearing those cornrows or braids in your hair when you are 21+ years old!”
21? 21? My husband and I saw a dude had to be in this early 30s and this sucka had braids and beads. BEADS!!!! WE WAS ROLLING!
@I got sense!: Braids with beads? Really? Lmfao
That’s why I said 21+. But yea, I’ve seen men with breads and braids too.
“We womenfolk have gotten pretty tired of certain men telling us that those of us who aren’t virgins, wear skirts above the knee, and use tampons are on the loose side.”
-definitely choked on my oatmeal hahaha women who use tampons are hoes now?!?! never heard that one lol. nice read and happy Friday!