You’ve had the absolutely worst week ever.
Your boss has been giving you a hard time at work, and while zooming down the freeway so you don’t have to hear his mouth, you get a speeding ticket trying to make it to work on time. Oh, and your man hasn’t been acting right. And just to put a cherry on top, your hot water at home is off.
But, it’s finally Friday and that means it’s pay day! All that you want to do is meet up with your girls, go out wearing something sexy, and pop bottles until the sun comes up. Sounds like a great way to work off the worries of this past week, right?
When your girls meet up at your place to get ready and pre-game a bit before the main festivities kick off, your homegirl, who we’ll just refer to as Lynn, asks if she can borrow that really cute ring you got a few weeks ago. Sure, not a problem. You think it will look really good with her dress. Then, she asks to borrow your favorite necklace and your absolute favorite pair of suede pumps (which you bought at full retail price and you only wear on special occasions). Initially apprehensive, you shrug it off and agree to let her borrow your shoes. Although she is known for “borrowing” clothes for an “extended” period of time, you’ll just make sure that she gives them back that night.
While the pre-gaming is going on, Lynn pulls you aside and gives you a sad story about her cat or bird dying and how she’s going to need a couple hundred bucks just until next week. You have absolutely no idea what that cat or bird story has to do with her needing money, but she has the most hopeless look in her eyes so you agree to let her borrow the money, even though you remembered that she still owes you from a few weeks ago. But hey, she’s your friend, right? If you won’t have each other’s backs, then who will?
This “Lynn” that I’m referring to is much like the Lynn we all know and love from the Girlfriends television series. While she is a great person, friend, and woman with a huge heart, she is also a great big mooch!
Some of you may have your very own Lynn in your circle of friends. You may have known her for years, grew up with her, and she’s become a real sister to you. She’s been there for you through the hard times and has helped you get over so many life obstacles. Matter of fact, you’re not sure you would even be where you are today without her support and friendship. So, you feel like you owe her.
Which is just beautiful, but it’s also just dumb.
While Lynn may be your ace boon, you are her friend, not her personal ATM machine. You’re not her personal stylist or her chauffeur. You are her friend. And there comes a point when you are going to have to draw the line somewhere, or else she’ll milk this “friendship” for all that it’s worth. And you’ll be standing there as hopeless as a penny with a hole in it.
I know that I may be coming off a bit harsh, but it is reality. If you constantly come to your friend’s rescue and bail her out of regular life problems, it doesn’t help her in the long run. Truth be told, you’re an enabler. She sees you as a safety net that will always be there to catch her whenever she falls, so she doesn’t have to take life seriously or work hard to achieve the things that she has.
I know you love her, and you only want to help, so here is the best thing that you can do for your Lynn: Cut her off. Financially.
Stop spending your hard earned money on someone who may not even really appreciate it. She needs to realize that it is time for her to grow up and take responsibility for herself, just like the rest of the grown-ups in the world. It may be hard at first, but you’re doing the right thing and she’ll thank you in the long run.
It is time to close down Lynn’s personal bank. Oh, and don’t forget to get your shoes back!