Live Life Loud

Monday Nov 21, 2011 – by Luvvie Ajayi

Life is short.

We only have one life to live.

Both of these phrases are as cliché as they are true. No matter how often we’ve all heard them, we have to acknowledge that they’re worth noting. For me, they serve as reminders that I have to live life fearlessly and live it loud.

Basing ALL of life’s decisions on fear will leave you out of living a full life. I’ve had to learn this and it’s worth repeating. Fear exists to keep us from doing dangerous things. It can be helpful. Fear is what keeps us from jumping off a cliff with no parachute. But besides that, it can really be what keeps us from doing what we want to do, and what our heart tells us. Fear can be a crutch and we lean on it way too much as an excuse for not pursuing our dreams.

I’d hate to wake up at the age of 70, realizing that I’ve never done anything I truly wanted to do because I was scared. And only later finding out that there was nothing for me to fear in the first place. This fear of the “what if” drives me to want to live big. I can’t live life scared of my own shadow otherwise I’d never leave the house. This is why from now on, I’m choosing to live life loud. There’s no joy in living life meek. Yes, I want have a comfortable life, but the most memorable experiences don’t come out of sitting on my couch watching life go by.

Besides, “Oh well” is better than “What if?” any day of the week. I can’t remember where I first heard that but I keep that little tidbit close to me because I don’t want to have regrets. I’ve seen this question posed over and over again:

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

Simply? I’d LIVE. In every way.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you have to go bungee jumping to live life loud. But live loud by pushing past your comfort zone. Do something that frightens you a bit. Do something that takes a pep talk in your head. Live life loud by walking into a room and realizing you belong there like everyone else.

In the past, and sometimes even now, I’ve let fear dictate some of my decisions. But these days I’m trying to shed that. I won’t let myself be painted into a tiny circle on this big Earth because I’m afraid to step out of my comfort zone. If I let fear dictate everything around me, some of the GREATEST people I know would be strangers, and that’d be unfortunate. If fear were my main driving factor, I’d never have started my own nonprofit at 25. Fear would have also stopped me from pursuing freelance writing.

I’m going to challenge myself to do something fearless more often. This way, I know I’m living life loud.

So Clutchettes, what would you do if you knew you could’t fail?

Sha_Ri_ta says:

November 21, 2011 at 1:25 am

I have this hunger for learning but a terrible fear of failing. So, I would definitely go back to school AND FINISH.

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African Mami says:

November 21, 2011 at 2:17 am

This is about living without caring, just living and letting life be….Well, I ain’t even fronting I would do the following, most of them are real stoooooooooopid but I’d still do them. Here is just but a sample.

1.)Temporarily marry Prince Harry and divorce him just so I could piss off the Queen Mother and bring her off her high horse. She irrrrrks me!!!!!! Do she greet black people without them gloves?!!! Oh she irrrrks me.

2.) Permanently marry Idris Elba and run off to Gambia, where thirsty chicks cannot find him…if they happen to track us, move together to Somalia I know for sure they can’t handle the heat there.

3.) Relocate to Nigeria to be with my crush and hope that he is not scared (oh shit…this has to happen before Harry and Elba)

4.) Schedule a one time appointment with Dalai Lama to discuss a project that I have in mind. His holiness is the only answer to this project.

5.) Embark on a life long journey of travel and activism (advocating the rights of girls and women in Africa-the most marginalized group in society)!

Miranda says:

November 22, 2011 at 1:27 pm

LOL, you’re funny. All of them you can do, but I know you were kidding on the first two LOL. The last two absolutely, do it, pursue
African Mami says:

November 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm

@ Miranda,

I swear to the heavens if it is a possibility I would do #1. I ain’t even kidding on that one!!! I’ve always wanted to piss off the Queen Mother especially because she never liked Princess Diana and orchestrated her death! Yes she did!

I wouldn’t mind being his wife though…like for the absolute wrong reasons that cannot be revealed….

girl how about the third?! Kinda psychotic right?! no…

Appletree says:

November 21, 2011 at 3:50 am

Fear and Pride hold me back way to often. I’m starting to learn that they go hand and hand. I need to let ego go, be free, and live. In a dream world I would pick up my bags and travel the world while I’m still young. Just explore and learn about new things and culture. Discover myself and figure what it is I want.

However, my bank account wont allow for that. For now, I need to face my fears that are reachable. Like my fear of love. My ego/fear to make myself look vulnerable messed me up with him before. I refuse to let that happen again.

My fear to fail to has me hesitant with my career path. I’m starting to understand that it doesn’t matter if I succeed instantly. It’s more about my destination to success. Some people’s path may seem more clear than mine. I need to stop being scared and realizing it is okay.

It’s never too late/ too early for New Year’s resolutions. Letting fear go is one of mine. This article really hit me. I loved it!!

Tami says:

November 21, 2011 at 8:58 am

I have a fear of loving…After being dedicated & thinking the men I loved, loved me, & getting hurt, I protect heart fiercely…But now, at my ripe age of 49, I have decided to travel, even if I have to do it alone. I plan to take a trip every year…One of my fears is traveling alone. Lots of times, my friends mismanage their money & can’t do the things I do. So, I decided I can’t let others hold me back…I shall pursue on my own & see how it feels.

Hiphopmommie says:

November 21, 2011 at 11:56 am

I would pursue my Ph.d.which I am planing to do anyway, but I would do it much sooner. I would be guaranteed the capability to pay off those student loans :)
I think we should all ask our selves this question and go for it.

I was just presented with this same questions at a women’s leadership conference that I attended and I presented about ” what are you willing to fight for”.

Love yourself *India Arie voice*

Amber R. says:

November 21, 2011 at 12:23 pm

I fear so much; it’s sad. I can list for days all my insecurities and it would take over the entire comment section! I guess, if I had to pin-point my major fear it would be: attention. Attention has always equated to conflict and abuse but I’m almost 25 and it’s time to live out loud.

chanela says:

November 21, 2011 at 7:49 pm

” Fear is what keeps us from jumping off a cliff with no parachute” no! that would be common sense.lol

Live Life Every Day says:

November 21, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Great post, Luvvie!

This is something that we all need to realize. Life is too short to waste any of it and we shouldn’t let fear, or anything in general, stop us from being truly happy. There is so much out there that goes unnoticed and unexperienced, simply because of fear. We each have the power to be truly happy and we need to recognize that!

And if I knew I couldn’t fail, I would do exactly what I’m doing right now! Start my own business with the ambitious goal of inspiring the world! I will not fail!

Thanks for the inspiring post!

Miranda says:

November 22, 2011 at 1:31 pm

good article, thank you. Sometimes I feel certain person in my life wants to instill that fear in me. Sometimes I want to do stuff, and not really like crazy things, just things I want to do and this person always comes up with something that might happen and I have to tell, I’ve let this person stop me from doing stuff, but from now on I won’t. I will explain that perhaps what that person perceives as been cautious is really fear of failing or rejection etc.

Tweed12 says:

November 22, 2011 at 3:22 pm

It’s not exactly FEAR that has held me back from success, but those threatened by my credentials. My life’s problems have consisted of a constant struggle to fight my adversaries while trying to achieve set goals in the process. When you have camaraderie- along with the determination to succeed- you will have success. These threats can turn one fearful. You are tired of the drama and just decide to drop everything for the sake of avoiding it. However, by doing so you have held yourself back from your dreams. My advice is find people who ACTUALLY want to see you succeed and you’ll shine. No example of this is greater than the best friend relationship between Oprah and Gayle.

Tweed12 says:

November 22, 2011 at 3:38 pm

I must add that this was a hard lesson for me to learn. I thought I could do everything on my own. I wanted to do everything on my own, but you can only reside within a hostile environment for so long.