No. It’s not just another trivializing probe into the complex love lives of African American women. The question of what Black women truly think about love and marriage is actually a call for participants by writer/intellectual, Tami Winfrey Harris. As so eloquently written in her blog WhatTamiSaid, Harris is working on a project that contrasts

“the authentic experiences of African American women with the tragic common narrative about black women and marriage–a narrative that narrows lives, turns black female successes into failures and unfairly burdens us alone with responsibility for the success of black male/female relationships, black families and the black community.”

Tami hopes her findings will result in a published book. “The way our society talks about black women and marriage–from the daily paper to the pulpit to movies and self-help books–is flawed, sexist and damaging. When black women tell their own stories, a more thoughtful truth emerges.” Rather than trying to scrub away the flaws, Tami Winfrey Harris seeks to paint a more genuine, compassionate picture.

To that end, this sista would like to interview other sistas of all ages, backgrounds, geographic locations and experiences. Harris wants to highlight “the lives of women often erased in discussions of the Black marriage rate,” such as married women, divorced women, women who don’t wish to marry, lesbian women, women in interracial relationships.

“Beyond the ABC specials, ‘think like a man’ romantic advice tomes and panic-inducing women’s magazine articles, exist the real stories of black women—too often told from another perspective and voice. Everyone is talking about Black women and marriage. I want to talk back.”

Interested? Know anyone who might be? Head on over to Tami’s blog to lean more about the study and how one can participate.

11 Comments

  1. DundrMffln

    Me personally, I used to be married, so I do not desire marriage nor children at this time in my life. However black women collectively would like to be married with a family.

    Like most women do…

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  2. A true solution to our group’s love and marriage woes will never emerge until we stop pointing the finger at each other and focus on our lack of power. This will be the key deciding factor on whether we fix the ills of our community of languish for another few decades trying to figure out what the problem is. Sorry but, “c’mon, SUN!” If our relationships worked the way we needed them to, then our community wouldn’t submit to control by any outside force. Unfortunately, our relationships are in the current state that they are in because we lack the POWER to change them. When we fix our power differential we’ll fix the ills of our community.

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