She went from having a hit blog, to landing a book deal and now Tracy McMillan’s single camera comedy, “Why You’re Not Married,” was picked up by ABC, according to Dreamworks will produce the show along with ABC Studios. The comedy explores the current state of modern American love — especially the dynamic between the millions of attractive chicks between the ages of 25 and 45 who want to be married… and the men who seemingly refuse to commit to them.

McMillan is known for her series credits on “Mad Men” and “The United States of Tara.” “Why You’re Not Married,” originated from a blog post McMillan did in February where she stated the reasons why women were still single. These reasons included:

1) You’re a Bitch
2) You’re Shallow

3) You’re a Slut
4) You’re a Liar
5) You’re Selfish
6) You’re Not Good Enough.

It became an instant viral hit (no surprise there) and caught the interest of book publisher Random House. Why You’re Not Married…Yet: How To Stop Acting Like a Bitch And Start Getting Hitched will be released on May 29, 2012.

  • Maat

    I really thought her February blog post was right on point. I hope the show is a success.

  • YelloKat

    This woman clearly has issues, just like most people who make it their business to tell women why we’re not “good enough” to have a successful relationship. It’s a bunch of best-selling crap that reinforces women’s low self-esteem and encourages us to contort ourselves so Mr. Joe Blow can bestow the almighty diamond ring on our finger-as if that necessarily means anything these days.

  • Pseudonym

    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.


    (Or maybe I can…write some crazy bs that’s inflammatory enough to piss people off and get attention so I can be picked up by publishers and tv networks to get paid for it. That seems to be the “thing” these days…)

  • Perverted Alchemist

    Not to throw rocks at the throne, but remember what happened the last time a novelist by the name of McMillan was giving out relationship advice? We all saw how that one turned out…

  • B

    The woman is a misguided, sexist moron. Women like her keep us all down. Can we move on to people worthy of attention on this blog?

  • Ty Renee Pinckney

    I’m so sick of relationship books and these so call “experts”. No one has all the answers and this is merely subjective dribble … Not scientific research.

  • Isis

    I had no idea she was white

  • Iris_Eben

    Haha good point.

  • sugahoney

    Are you speaking on Terry? When has she ever given out relationship advice?

  • B

    @sugahoney: She (Terry) hasn’t given relationship advice, to my knowledge. You can’t take her novels as “advice” because they are novels (which means they are FICTION). I have no idea what Perverted Alchemist or Iris_Eben are talking about. Do you guys have links to something where Terry is giving relationship advice? (I’m honestly curious…cause I’d be ready to laugh with you if Terry had the nerve to give relationship advice) Otherwise it is not even fair to compare Terry McMillan, a brilliant novelist (minus How Stella Got Her Groove Back), to a piece of trash opportunist like Tracy McMillan.

  • PGS

    Yeah. No.

    she’s not white, she’s just light skinned and/or biracial.

  • Trudy

    Female chauvinist pigs who I call patriarchicks is what her views make her appear to be. Those who support negative attitudes that men have about women in hopes of being held at a higher regard than other women by these same men who are patriarchal misogynists are kinda pathetic. Of course such nonsense will be rewarded with money and acclaim. Anything to denigrate a political minority always is, even if done by a member of such minority.They stand out because of their shallow views on women that reinforce sexism and because it makes them feel unique. In the same way (though through a different socio-political lens) that Herman Cain stands out, so does she. Not interested in the show or her views. I yawn at its sheer behavioral and social predictability.

  • Perverted Alchemist

    @ B- Will do…give me time and I’ll look for it.

  • Alexandra

    She’s catering to a specific audience; the insecure & the know it all.
    She’s just joining the media in playing with the “women/single” stories. I can’t.

  • damidwif


  • damidwif

    how about these reasons that you’re not married (and they are talking about hetero marriage):

    1. you really dont want to be but you’re putting on a front d/t societal pressures
    2. he’s gay
    3. you’re a lesbian
    4. he can’t make you cum
    5. he doesn’t cook or do any other helpful shit
    6. he’s already married and polygamy isn’t legal
    7. he wants to be a rapper
    8. he’s stll fucking his babymama and lying to your face about it
    9. his car/job/friends are more important than you’ll ever be
    10. because no one loves you more than you

  • jenn

    No one watch this. Not even for the morbid curiosity fix. just dont

  • Joan

    I thought her writing was satirical?

  • sandra

    i liked this article…im so sick of women looking to men as to the reason they are single..there are plenty men willing to fall in love…look inward and see what you are really presenting yourself as to the dating world.

  • African Mami


    #7 (I’ve met such a dude. 40 and still trying to make it as a rapper. COTTAMN!, might I add he was fugly too?! and no his name did not start with a J and end with a Z)

  • Val

    I just hope they keep Black woman out of this nonsense.

  • Isis

    Lol ok. Looks like a white woman to me. *shrugs*

  • whilome

    You are amazing!

  • whilome

    I hope it’s satire! Good grief.

  • whilome

    Okay y’all,

    I clicked on the blog post and read it. Every derogatory term, like “shallow” or “slut” was clarified in the paragraph following it, softened and explained.

    For instance, You’re not good enough was followed by “know that you ARE good enough as you are” or something to that effect.

    But, whateva…the entire premise of the post was suspect because getting hitched is the easiest thing to do.

    Ask Kim Kardashian or Jennifer Lopez or even, yep, Tracy McMillan (chick has been married THREE times!). Taking advice on getting married from McMillan is like getting family planning lessons from the Octomom. No ma’am.

  • Mimi

    I met a dude in his 40′s trying to be a rapper too!!! LOL!! I never want to crush anyone’s dream, but if you’re unemployed, in your 40′s, has three kids by three different women, lives in Cincinnati (which is not a hotbed of musical activity) and you’re still waiting for Puffy to listen to your demo, you might want to try growing up.

  • Mimi

    AGREED!!!!! Look, once you reach a certain age, there is going to be no “changing” just to get a man. My man accepts me for who I am and I accept him for who he is. There will be no “changing”. This is who I am, either love it, or leave it alone.

  • African Mami

    @ Mimi,

    You ain’t crushing nobody’s dream right thurrrrr….he has an entire village to feed six mouths! A J.O.B. is his dream

  • Doree

    Perhaps you could read her original blog post or at least the repost on huffington post:

    It was actually quite good. I’m a young married woman, and I would send it to a lot of my girlfriends.

    Peace and (love).

  • OhLawd

    People usually get really defensive when they are asked to look at themselves and judge how they got to where they are good and bad. It takes a brave person to acknowlege one’s flaws and an even braver person to say, yup I am the reason I am where I am good, bad, or indifferent.

  • Alicia

    Yes! Taking relationship advice from the woman with three failed marriages is like using your own foot as the target to learn to shoot a gun: you may hit it, but you won’t be happy.

    Also, I can almost get behind the 2-6 because they are about changing habits and world-views in order to attract a good man. She never said having a long list of sexual partners, for instance, means no man will ever marry you, just that you have to be more discerning when you decide to start thinking about settling down. But being a bitch? If being a hyper-political activist with a passion for a wide range of important social issues makes me a bitch, well then, I’m proud of it. And the man I marry will have to be too, because that is a huge part of who I am and I would not be happy if I had to give up my work with feminist, sex-positive, LGBTQ organizations because my supposed anger turns guys off.

  • I think people should read McMillians blog post – Why You’re Not Married

    One thing she mentions in her article/blog post which I think is a really good read is that if you look for a man with character, then you will find a man who is willing to commit to you…and I honestly can say that’s the truth from my experience. Sometimes we focus too much on looks and superfical things that we dismiss men that would be willing to commit but we rather be shallow in our choosing. I also believe just from talking to men that they just cant deal with abrasive and bitchy attitudes…you simply can’t be a bitch…I think the point of why she wrote the article was that she never had problems getting married because she had some of the qualities that men were seeking and she was able to disern who so many women are probably single. I really think people should read the article…there’s some truth in there. All my girlfriends read it and understood what she was trying to say.

  • LaNeshe

    The real issue is that there is obviously a market of women ASKING “why can’t I get married?” If there weren’t people asking, there wouldn’t be people profiting off giving answers.

  • sugahoney

    @B, thats what I thought. I’ve read all of her books, loved them for the most part, but I definitely don’t remember her ever giving out relationship, dating, or marriage advice. She is a novelist, not a counselor. If a person can’t read fiction without applying it to their real life, then they need to step up your critical thinking skills.

  • Coco Cream

    The responses on here are indicative of one of the biggest ignored problems facing black women. The nasty truth is black women (yes you) are some of the MOST difficult people in the world to constructively criticize. Black women have deemed themselves off limits to anyone telling them the truth about themselves. Although this isn’t a put down, most black women will receive it that way, but a major contributing factor to so many single sisters single is so many of you (not all) have horrible attitudes.

    Sister tend to be angry, argumentative, attitudinal, overweight, disrespectful, prudish or two sexually loose, rely too much on artificial hair, have hood mentalities, have multiple fathers to multiple children, have a kid period, have become bitter and feel you have a right to your attitude at the expense of whom ever is within a 2 foot radius, and lack the humility to be constructively criticized. Most men don’t tell you about your bad attitude because they are afraid of the nasty attitudinal backlash that is soon to follow. Ladies, it’s gross and unGodly.

    As much as you would like to call brothers “weak” who have realized that they don’t have to put up with the emotional abuse of angry sisters, at some point yall HAVE TO OWN your negative attitudes and realize that putting all of your dating woes on brothers is irresponsible and regressive in you fulfilling your goals to be successfully wed (if that is indeed your goal).

    Also, most of you have never EVER even humbled yourself to even ask a man what it takes to be considered wife material. Remember, a man determines if you are wife material, not you (because if it were up to you, you would probably be married). Often times you are your own worst enemy ladies and many of you are too arrogant, stuck up, and down right unintelligent to even realize it. I read somewhere if a sister can tell dude to pull up his pants because it is unsightly and repulsive, then a brother should be able to tell a sister that her negative, attitudinal, bitter, sour, I can’t do no wrong attitude is just as unsightly and repulsive. Men do not have to put up with it, and we aren’t anymore….. Smarten up ladies……. Brothers still love you and want to marry you, but you must humble yourselves.

    One Love

  • The Tip

    Here’s another reason why a lot of you sisters are not being wifed up as told by J.J Smith

    “Black Men Don’t See Many of the Qualities That They So Much Admire in Their Mothers and Grandmothers: To say it’s just a shortage of black men is only a small part of the problem, but as Black women we have to re-evaluate who we are and who we’ve become today. Black men don’t see the strong, quiet strength of their mothers and grandmothers; neither the homemaking/cooking skills either. In my book Why I Love Men, I have a section called “Never Underestimate the Relationship Between a Man and His Mother” that discusses this further. A wise woman understands the precious bond between a man and his mother. You’re not going to change it nor would you want to. A mother is very proud of her son, especially if he’s a good man. His mother values him. His mom and grandmother has loved him unconditionally all his life, and well, you, not so long. If you want a smooth relationship with a Black man, be sure you understand WHY he loves his mom so much and it will help you build a stronger relationship with him. And, if you don’t know why he admires and loves his mom so much, ask him. In fact, a huge red flag for me is when a guy doesn’t have any relationship with his mother, and she is still living. Or if he speaks to his mother in a disrespectful or harsh manner, he will likely treat you the same way. “

  • The Tip

    Here is one more quote from J.J. Smith. She pretty much states it better than I can………

    Look at the “Woman in the Mirror”: If you look at the way the media portrays this issue, it seems like the obvious question is “what’s wrong with the Black men and why aren’t they available for Black women?” but we can’t entirely blame Black men and we shouldn’t let Black women off the hook either. Earlier I said that a “datable” Black man is one that is not behind bars, gay, or with other races. But women should also ask themselves are they “datable” or better yet, do they know what makes a woman “datable” to a man? It’s easy to pass blame onto Black men, but for me, I believe in taking personal accountability for my challenges in life. In my 20s I had horrible dating experiences and attracted men that were all wrong for me. So, I decided to get off my butt and make some changes to my “exterior” and “interior” to attract the type of men that I desired. I realized that it’s our EXTERIOR that gets a man’s attention (smile, look, personality, non-bitchy attitude, confidence and overall attractiveness) and our INTERIOR (our love for God, family, friends, being honest, supportive, respectful, emotionally stable, goal-oriented) that keeps a man coming back for more. As a single, successful black woman, I went from 0 dates to many dates by making some changes to my “exterior” AND “interior” to meet, date and marry quality black men. In my book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, I describe the 8 steps of my beauty transformation (with before and after pics) that allowed to maximize my physical features without cosmetic surgery.

  • whilome

    The fact that you think there is a “truth about [black women]” tells me everything I need to know about you.

    Peace and blessings.

  • damidwif

    so, uh, he can marry his mom. in the mean time…

  • damidwif

    oh yes, dear brother, help me to humble myself so that you may honor me with your presence

  • mary mary

    the funniest thing about coco cream’s comment is that it is arrogant and full of hate and then ends, “one love”. made me chuckle. coco cream i hope you have someone to release your anger to. I am a black woman and it seems that you have more attitude and anger than you assume i do…

    peace, love and soul.

  • Coco Cream

    Ladies please accept my apology if I have come off sounding angry and bitter because that is certainly not the spirit from which I come. As a man who “walks his talk” I humble myself to you and apologize for my tone. But am I upset with many of our sisters for the issues that I have outlined…Yes. Am I disappointed with the lack of accountability amongst black women for those issues…..Absolutely. But I ask that you grant me the same courtesy in understanding my anger , frustration and seeming hostility towards you when dealing with this issue that you ask brothers to grant you when you present us with the stank attitude that many of you have. I know 99% of you were not born with nasty attitudes that so many of you have. And I know that many of you will hope that a Good-Brother (ie: your Ideal Man) will recognize and understand that the rough acidic exterior that many of you adorn is simply a faux coat of protection that you have developed over the years resulting from all of the hurt inflicted upon you by society and black men. I am sure none of you would endorse turning a good brother off due to a hardened faux exterior. ……. But sadly many of you do.

    I do not hate, or abhor my beautiful sisters. Please don’t get it twisted because I am not that angry misogynistic brother. But I am that brother that is not afraid to hold you accountable by holding that mirror up to you and force you to deal with your own dysfunctional behavior in spite of your unwillingness to do so. Ladies you will simply have to WOman-up and deal with it. If you continue to ignore it and or minimize it and cling to the attitude of “if you can’t deal with me and who I am, then tough”, your plight is only going to get worse. In addition, it also makes you an ultimate hypocrite because many of you have wishes and hopes that require brothers to change their dysfunctional ways.

    Also another point, I endorse interracial dating because love should not be boxed in by one’s race, but not only do black men dislike many of your nasty hardened calcified attitudes, but so do men of all races. Don’t seek refuge in another race to protect your bad disposition. Don’t look to another man of another race to fix what is wrong with you. But let’s keep it real, in order to fix, address, repair, and renovate your flaws and dysfunctions ladies, first you have to be mature, godly, and woman enough to admit that you even have problems to fix. Put yourself in a man’s shoes for a second…. How many of you ladies can list five issues that today’s (black) women have that contributes to keeping many of you single…… and here is the key, WITHOUT including men as part of that problem? If you have trouble making this list, then you my dear are a problem.

    Once Love…… For Real ;-)

  • The Tip

    Typical ignorant classless response. Answer this damidwif, If a woman who was raised by a good father who treated her like a Princess is allowed to wish for a man who “treats me like my father did”….. then please tell me why can’t a man expect a woman to treat him as good as his mother and or grandmother did? ………….

    It’s ignorant responses like the one left by damidwif that makes so many black women look like certified bad options for marriage. Girlfriend and booty buddy…….. YES. Wife and mother to my children……. N to the O with hell on top.

    Yall sister have to do better……

  • damidwif

    im not sure you realize that the role of a wife/partner and a mother/ grandmother is different. and since it seems that you dont, and i suppose you represent all black men, then it’s obvious what the problem is. and as far as i know, a wife needs to be good enough to fuck, too. as far as the homemaking is concerned, i have kids that i already mother. i dont need another. so get in where you fit in. oooooh, im sorry i make all black women look like bad options for marriage…being that i already cook, clean, converse, think, and fuck pretty well. my problem? i dont want to get married. so maybe you better check up on someone else and try to bash them.

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