Chrissy Lampkin Jim Jones FianceWatching Chrissy Lampkin on VH1’s Love and Hip Hop still lamenting over the fact that her lover, rapper Jim Jones, still hasn’t embraced the idea of making an honest woman out of her by putting a “ring on it” makes one wonder about the relevance of marriage in these present times.

Living in an age where the divorce rate is steadily rising, it’s hard to be totally sold on the idea that walking down the aisle and making your union official is necessary in order to enjoy the comforts and security of a long term relationship. Some argue that when children are involved in the equation, sealing the deal prevents them from being tagged as illegitimate. But then, you have children of divorce who are suffering the repercussions of having their “perfect” family torn apart forcing them to accept the disjointed version they didn’t sign up for. Is that a better scenario than if their parents were perfectly content enjoying the benefits of a family unit and a sound partnership without the pressure of marital duties?

Of course it feels good to be betrothed to the man/woman of your dreams, if for nothing else, the very idea that you were picked as that perfect compliment to another person is quite flattering and massages the ego quite a bit. But the actual work involved in keeping such a union healthy and stable can be challenging, not to mention the thought of being absolutely faithful to one person for the rest of your days can pose a bit of a problem as the years go by and you find yourself in sticky situations.

I think the people who are brave enough to identify themselves early as non-marriage material should be respected and not judged or ridiculed. Its time to finally accept the fact that the institution of marriage is fast becoming an outdated concept that more and more of us are unsuccessfully implementing. If you are happily together with your love and the confidence and trust level is at an all time high, do you really have to dive into the marital pool and turn into a jealous, insecure, and confused better half overnight?

If you feel go for it, and if you don’t stay happy!

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  • overseashoneybee

    Why should he marry her? Homeboy is livin’ well with no commitment … no obligation and after 11 years he doesn’t really seem motivated to do anything differently.

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  • iknowitall

    That photo of Chrissy has been photo-shopped to death. They didn’t line it up very well in between her fingers. Why can’t she accept her full figure as in is the norm.

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  • Tami

    I think if you realize that you are not marriage material, that you can’t be faithful, don’t want to sacrifice for your beloved, then no, you should definitely not get married. But marriage is a good thing even in this day & age. I am divorced, but when I was with my husband, the sacrifices i made for him, such as helping him when he was down required some sort of give & take. Because we lived together, after several years I told him he has to marry me. When he wanted to know why, since every thing was already good between us, I said because I sacrifice for you by cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, helping you, and although you are here for me, assisting me, I need just a little more. I want you to commit to me totally, yes, I need that piece of paper telling me that you would sacrifice some of your freedom for me…And he did…We got married. After a couple of years we got divorced, but the one thing I can say is that he loved me enough to marry me…and I would do it again.

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  • Pilot

    I have to tell you, this reminds me of those situations in urban schools where 70% of the students were not meeting the minimum standards for their particular grade.

    You would think the logical solution would be to have the students and administration work harder to achieve the standards. But what actually happened, over and over, was that the school or the school district just simply lowered the standards. The press release always read that “The school district officials felt that the previous definitions of success were outdated, and needed to be re-defined to keep pace with a changing world.” They re-defined success. Downward.

    Now here we have people saying, “Marriage is too hard. It’s hard being mongamous, it’s hard commiting to someone, it’s hard to get along with someone, it’s hard to stick around and support your children. So, maybe we should just reconsider what marriage is, maybe we should re-define it, because it seems to be outdated.”

    So, is the push here to re-define the requirements of marriage downward, so that more people can call their relationship a “marriage”, and therefore feel good about whatever kind of relationship they’re in?

    Because, to me, that seems to be what the author of this post is hinting at.

    Or is it to assure people that whatever baby-mama or baby-daddy relationship they’re in is “every bit as good” as a legal marriage?

    Because, as others have pointed out, society as a whole, and this country’s legal system, are not in accordance with that point of view. And, if that is the author’s point of view, respectfully, I would have to say that such a view is both naive and delusional.

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    • SAA

      that is a terrific analogy and is so appropriate for this situation and many others.

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    • Trini

      Yup!!!

      So sad but so true. That ish is quickly becoming an epidemic almost everywhere you look.

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    • Natasha

      +1

      No, +100

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    • Carla

      I think the author’s intent is to offer assurance and balm to people that whatever loosely-defined, half-baked relationship they’re in is just as good and worthy as marriage. They should be proud of it, she’s saying.

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  • http://Facebook Olympia Sherron

    why in 2011 are women still surprised when a man who they have been giving all of the “for husband only” benefits (living together, having sex, cooking, cleaning, having his kids, etc.) to does NOT marry them?

    Jim Jones is already getting from Chrissy everything that most men want from a woman without giving her marriage so he has NO reason to marry her, as in no incentive or motivation

    thats common sense ladies

    STOP treating a man like he is your husband when he is not your husband

    only the man who marries you deserves all of those great benefits not some random boyfriend who you have let waste years and years of your precious time

    its sad when a woman doesn’t value herself enough to have standards and requirements in a relaitonship

    i know my worth

    i am one woman who will not let any man download the software for free, you have to buy it to enjoy it, no cheap freebies here all in the name of “love”

    a man who really does love a woman will be more than happy to marry her and legally commit to her for life in front of the world and he will be proud to call you his WIFE not his babymama or live-in roommate

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    • Melu

      Amen!

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