Can the Relationship Survive If He’s Not Sexing You Right?

He hits your spot every single time, from every single angle and stares you dead in the eyes while doing it. It felt like all of your chakras came out of your body and did an African tribal dance in mid air. It was a completely otherworldly experience. Your body was still shaking, even after he pulled out. Yep, he hit your ‘bottom. That oh so sweet abyss, where no man has ever ventured. Now you’re all wide open, and truth be told, he can give less than a damn about you. But it’s too late, because now you’re walking around strung out and acting plum crazy over this man. Your recent erratic behavior is painfully obvious to your friends and family. Everyone notices the change but YOU! Yep girl, you got a whiff of that crack dick, and their ain’t no common cure for it! One hit is too many and a 100 times ain’t enough. You wollow in this illicit exchange for a while, but have an epiphany one day that you are more than a semen receptacle and just like that, after years of trying to wean yourself off, you successfully shake free of your addictive habit to realize there is a greater love that exist for you in this world from a much more deserved partner.

Time moves along, and you’re a certified grown woman now, and you got that jones to want to settle down and be serious. You have your eyes open for a man that is husband and good father material, when alas the man of your grown woman dreams magically appears into your life, and sweeps you off your feet. He is smart, good looking loves your dirty drawls and would clean them if you ask. Loves the Lord, and even reads his Bible. But the sad fact of the matter is, he can’t take you to the places that Mr. Crack Dick did sexually. Problematic much?

It’s a sad but true fact that sometimes the man that loves you doesn’t want or know how to fuck you. He views you in a different light. He touches you delicately, because you are his angel. When truly you are dying on the inside to be picked up, put on a wall, or otherwise forced to take it with his hand is over your mouth (Don’t blush, you know that it’s true.). Unfortunately, the sex is lackluster—your partner is a one trick pony so to speak. Communication is vital, but as Teairra Marie sings, “Do I gotta tell a n—a how to touch me.?”

This is a legitimate question. Does telling your man how to put it on you take the excitement out of it? For most of us the answer to that question would be emphatically, YES! More importantly, would the lack of your sexual fulfillment spill over into other parts of your relationship? Invariably, yes. There is a certain level of docility, call it subservience if you will that we women project when a man is f’ing our brains out, right? Without that key ingredient in the bedroom, does the base in your new ‘good’ man’s voice register quite the same during a heated argument?

We know that good sex and spectacular orgasms release endorphins and bring about overall feelings of happiness. Are you more cranky when your man is not giving it to you in the ways that you desire? Don’t lie. Be honest with yourself. Can a relationship between a lackluster lover, really stand the test of time? Is there a fine medium between Mr. Crack Dick and the man of your dreams, or are the two mutually exclusive? Will this new relationship survive, if your man possesses most everything you desire, except for that ‘good good?’