With a hit film, new album and a baby in tow, it’s easy to imagine that life for Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton is full of excitement, and a fair share of stress. The release of his 5th album, Love After War, demonstrates that Robin continues to draw from his 18-year old relationship with Paula to compose some of his most compelling work. In a recent interview with Essence, Thicke spoke pretty candidly about Paula’s impact on his life, and the impact he seeks to make on Paula – in the bedroom. He shared his thoughts on being a part of an interracial family, and explains why White men may not be the ideal “fall-back” for Black women (who’ve had enuff).

When asked If someone saw him whispering in Paula’s ear, what would he most likely be saying: ‘I can’t wait to get you home and love you up for two to three hours.’ I like to try to get her into double-digit orgasms as much as possible. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when I’ve got my mojo and my swag, it happens. Every few months it’s just like bam — repeated. Repeated! I like her to just be going crazy in the bedroom.


On Paula’s sexiest quality, the singer admitted: It’s her intelligence and her strength. I’ve never met a stronger person who stands by their will and their moral values. She is such an amazing human being. Ever since I met her and we were 16 years old and she was the president of the Black student union and I was just a silly White boy who didn’t understand or have compassion.

I had no animosity, but I just didn’t understand the Black experience in America and how different it is — and most White people can’t. You can’t understand it until you are with somebody every day and you have a child that you know is Black, you then understand that, wow, what a different experience Black people and in particular Black women have to go through.

I have a song on my new album called, “I Don’t Know How It Feels to Be You,” and she and I were in the middle of an argument and she said, “Robin, no matter how hard you try, or how compassionate you are, you’ll never know what it’s like to be a Black woman.” So I got up and I wrote this song in five minutes. The lyrics are: “I don’t know how it feels to by you, though I try my best to understand what you’re going through, I don’t know how it feels to be you. I can’t walk in your shoes. But, I’m trying baby. You know how much I love you.”


On making influential music & his aversion to White women: It’s actually the best thing. It’s nice if you can make someone drop it like it’s hot, or pop a bottle. But we’re always dropping it and popping it. What I realize about the difference between me and my peers — you know, Chris Brown and Drizzy Drake and all my musical peers — is that they haven’t been with the same woman for 18 years and I’ve been with a Black woman for 18 years. I’ve never dated a White woman. Don’t want to. I’ve never been on a date with a White woman. When you have that relationship and that means the most to you — you know I can’t live without that woman, she is my muse, my best friend, and my creative partner. I didn’t have a great relationship with my mom and she didn’t have a great relationship with her dad and we became that for each other. She’s my mama and I’m her daddy. I even call her mama and she calls me daddy. We are that to each other.


Regarding Black Men, Robin was asked: The media often tells Black women that they’re better off dating White guys. What’s your response to that? I think that’s ridiculous. There are so many good Black men out there that are hardworking, decent, and handsome, you know? To start that rumor is as bad as starting any other negative rumor. There are great Black men out there. There are only a few good White men — trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey. I only have three White friends. I’ve got 20 Black male friends, who are all good men who take good care of their wives, and good care of their children. I know amazing Black men. Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love.


  • QON

    “There are great Black men out there. There are only a few good White men — trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey. I only have three White friends.”

    This is going to set the Rainbuea mammies off.

  • http://nocturneadagio.blogspot.com LainaLain

    I had no idea they’d been together for that long…

  • Clnmike

    This article made me throw up a little in my mouth.

  • Nadell

    That’s a HOT couple! Issue #1: the generalizations folks make about a group of people baffles me…
    “There are great Black men out there”—-yes siree Bob there are.
    “There are only a few good White men — trust me” — mmkay. Robin, you are a White man.

  • QON

    LOL so true Mike. The questions were absurd the answers were absurd. I feel dirty after having read it.

  • lisa

    MWA-HA-HA! Amen.

  • Mimi

    HAHA!!! It is a tad bit sappy. Plus, I can NEVER call my man “daddy” and he knows better than to call me “mommy”. UGH!!!! I HATE THAT!!!!! I know that some couples think it’s cute or hot, but every time I hear a couple saying it, it just makes my stomach turn! UGH!!!!!

  • Makia

    wow…this article took me to my naughty place…lol…what an amazing and sexy man! i’ve always loved him and had an appreciation for him, but wow…this puts him into a whole new perspective for me.

  • BigDickDave

    Damn he sounds self-hating. He just dissed his own people.

  • Clnmike

    Actually you can make the argument that he is self hating for real, he is no different than black men who say they prefer only white woman. On top of that he is admitting to having a fetish for black women, which would make me question his judgement. How would you know if he loves her for her or if he loves her for her skin? Kind of pathetic.

  • Pilot

    Creeped me out a little, there’s something weird going on there that rings false. It feels like he’s pandering to his black audience and the black readers of “Essence” when he makes those statements. But maybe I’m just way too cynical, IDK.

  • wtf!

    Wow, it takes a white man to tell black women that there are good brothers out there. We are in more trouble than I thought.

  • QON

    Same! He was a bit patronizing when talking about race and black men. He doesnt have to love all black folks. Lord knows back folks dont. Just love your wife, family, and friends and you will be ok.

  • Freebee33

    I don’t think you’re being too cynical. I feel like he is trying to sell records by basically saying things that he thinks his audience would want to hear…

    I like Robin, but sometimes I do think he tries too hard.

  • joeclyde

    LOL. Right before X-Mas too. They are burning their posters, and breaking his CDs as we speak.

    It is amazing. How the thought of there being good Black men. Makes these women skin crawl.

    Thanks Robin. Your Black Male Pass card is in the male. Get ready for the backlash.

  • Perverted Alchemist

    Maybe it’s just me, but reading this article on Robin Thicke screams “fetish alert!!!!”…

    Also, I can’t help but to notice the irony in this article in reference to his fanbase- more on that later…

  • apple

    why does it have be a fetish, i mean he married/been with her for 18 years not just banged a bunch of black chicks and threw them away for the hell of it.. cant it be a strong preference?

  • sandrine

    It’s not a fetish unless he says this to rollingstone mag or the new York times. Otherwise he’s countting on lonely and desperate black women to be moved because “somebody” loves them

  • Jess

    I think he should have said “Good luck in finding a Black man who understands your journey (or even cares too)”.

    Too many Black men are busy trying to prove to the world that they DON’T cherish Black women, and pretend like they are not part of the Black experience that Thicke thinks they care to understand. Sorry, but true.

  • Jess

    “wow, what a different experience Black people and in particular Black women have to go through.”

    Gee, it’s pretty sad that a white guy seems to get this better than so many “post-racial” Black men do. I mean while James Earl Jones is teaching young Black boys and teens that his ‘Black-grandma-who-lived-during-slavery-and-lynching-in-mississippi’ was the “most racist person he knows” , we have a white man who gets it for Black women. Pretty sad turn of affairs.

  • Buttafleye

    Uhhh, can somebody tell me what a Rainbeau Mammy is supposed to be? I;ll probably regret asking once I learn the answer, lol.

  • @me

    I totally agree with the comments that Robin is laying it on a little too thick with this interview. Also I don’t really think he should be putting his bedroom business out there like that. Paula is his wife, not his hoe!

  • Alexandra

    Wow too much shared info & not really necessary especially the magazine he was interviewed by. And yes he threw Whites under the bus (on purpose too) lmao!
    This Essence issue will sell, eh?

  • joeclyde

    I believe it is easier to defend your gender. Because you have no interest in dating them. So why wouldn’t Black men be cool around Robin or other men. Equally, why wouldn’t Black women be cool around other women.

    But when you add the prospects of dating the opposite gender. Then all of the baggage comes out, and you have two unrecognizable people. Trying not to get hurt.

  • QON


    Ah girrrrrrllll! I love calling my man, daddy. Absolutely love it. Its sexy, its a bit freaky its a bit taboo. Its a lot of things. Now you got me thinking. Shame on you.

  • QON


    A “rainbeau mammy” is a black woman who promotes inter racially dating to black women at the expense of black men, i.e. date a white man because black men aint shit.

    Im teasing though.

  • Simon

    Too much shared information, although, his answers yell fetish. Paula is his wife. That said.

    Just how different is black women’s experience in America, than Black people, and black men?

    Post racialism is but another sellout scheme.

  • bee

    well it’s a bit different because black women experience both sexism and racism.

  • QON


    Black men experience sexism too. Lets not act like his gender hasnt been considered a threat and therefore proscribed for most of American history. His race, combined with his gender, and the demonization of both was sexist. Yes, as men, they do have some advantages but they also have disadvantages too. We often hear that employers prefer black women over black men. Is that not sexist against black men when the only difference between black men and black women is gender?

  • LemonNLime

    Like some others said this interview creeped me out and made me want to throw up a bit. All I have to say is if a black man was saying the same things, people would all be yelling about how he’s a self hating idiot. He is either very self hating OR pandering to his target audience …none of which is attractive.

  • MarloweOverShakespeare

    Shoot! Did you read the Clutch piece on Paula Patton’s interview?

    My sentiments exactly.

  • jane

    It usually takes a Caucasian to acknowledge/like/state/justify or verify something that we have known all along to accept it as truth.

  • AustralianGirl

    Looks like he’s just given Paula one of those ‘double-digit orgasms’…. how else to explain her flushed cheeks and massive grin?


  • isola

    I am a bit confused. Will and Jada would always talk about their bedroom antics and no one seemed to find it disturbing. Based on the title of this article you pretty much know what you are going to read about.

  • ItsComedic…

    Coming from the black male mammy himself, right QON?

  • ItsComedic…

    Interesting how you call out the ‘rainbeaux mammies’ but here you are sukking the meat off black men’s members.

    How does that taste, Queenie?

    Hope you gargle afterwards ;)

  • YoYoMa


  • sli


    It’s NOT cute. The only image that comes to my mind when I say daddy–is MY DADDY! Ewwww…

  • andrea

    Im pretty sure he was just joking.

  • Clnmike

    Preference is a fetish especially if your excluding your own.

  • B

    True. Very true.

  • AustralianGirl


  • https://twitter.com/#!/TheKMichel K. Michel

    I’d always liked Robin Thicke before (and after) this interview, and he strikes me as somebody who’s at the prime of his life and knows it. This makes him an extremely lucky man. Plus, he’s married to Paula Patton. After a while, almost any mortal man would lose his composure and let his ego loose. He’s proud of his marriage. After decades with the same woman, he still finds his wife attractive and probably moreso now… who wouldn’t be a little cocky?

    As for all of this “defending Black men” business, most of us don’t really need it and I’m sure Robin Thicke knows this. Many of the people who show nothing but negativity toward Black men aren’t worth the cardboard soapboxes they’re standing on.

  • msbklyn

    Dmn! He is Gorgeous. MMM MMM MMM. (Yeah I know he said some thing that got under ppl skin… but I’m crushing right know)

  • Chnyere

    ummm I would have to agree with Jess and QON please tell me there is a name for black men who do the same cause there are A LOT MORE of them

    no OFFENSE

  • YoYoMa

    Glad you saw the humor, AussyGirl :)

  • YoYoMa

    “This is going to set the Rainbuea mammies off.”

    How so exactly?

    Essence is a magazine geared towards black women, especially the sort that are fiercely loyal to black males and the preservation of the black community. And regardless of that, black women are his fanbase. White people don’t know he who is from a can of paint.

    Of course he’s gonna pander to the Nuttin’ButaBruh crowd. If he said the complete opposite, all hayle would’ve broke loose for lettin’ that white man talk reckless in a black magazine article.

    If anything, it pandered to those black women still holding out for that magical, elusive, and mystical Black Kang.


  • QON

    What did I tell yall? Like clock-work.

  • ItsComedic…

    Awwww, what wrong, QON?

    Looks like them rainbeau (learn to spell, thanks) mammies seem to be alright after all.

    Now YOUR mammy azz on the other hand…

  • joeclyde

    It is a sad testament. To the White Daddy Syndrome in the Black Community. It would be hilarious. If all it took for this “Black Gender War” to die down. Is a White man. Sad indeed.

  • Timcampi


    I agree.

  • Kaydee-P

    He definitely could’ve left the whole “I’ve never dated white women and I have three white friends” part at home, but yeah. I’m okay with this.

  • Adrienne

    Robin, if Paula ever let’s you loose, do like Prince said and call me. Jokes (sort of) aside, he’s a taking care of his wife and child like any good man (of any color) ought to. Why all the hate?

  • Adrienne


  • WhiteWoman

    What an ARROGANT A$$****! I’m white and I’m telling you, that this black wannabe, is def marketing his WHITE @ss off to the black community! I’m outraged & would love to make a cinnamon twist out of his scrawny WHITE neck! Who does he think he is and who is he trying to fool?

    “when he has his ‘swag’ on” and “double-digit orgasms as much as possible” … Like for real? Is this white creep some sort of demigod in the bedroom? F*** me! If so, Viagra better get some of what he’s got. *rolls eyes*

    If you believe the rubbish of this skinny white bonehead, you get what you deserve! “I’ve never dated a White woman. Don’t want to. I’ve never been on a date with a White woman.” Now tell me.. why would he make a statement like that, if not for marketing? His mother is as white as Casper, blonde hair and all! (as is his white Canadian father) By that statement, he may as well’ve just chucked his mom in the dumpster! I mean he could have said it, LESS the… “Don’t want to” part. Talk about trying to gain “brownie” points!!!!!!!!

    He states, “To start that rumor is as bad as starting any other negative rumor.” and then proceeds to run his gob on by saying “There are only a few good White men — trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey.” Did he not just say… “To start that rumor is as bad as starting any other negative rumor” and then proceed to run down white men??

    BELIEVE ME…His last name is THICK(E) for a reason!!!!!!!

    And if he was all so “black” and have such few white friends (again stating this with a loud tone of disdain), then how in God’s name would he know if there were only “a few good white men and how few understand your journey” ? *shakes head in frustration*

    Then he finishes off with, “You have to give love to get love” like he’s some sort of Einstein by even stating this well know fact! He sure as Jesus isn’t giving/showing any “love” to the white community is he?

    You know what? I never thought in a trillion years, Canadian, ALAN THICKE and GLORIA LORING could produce such a piece of insufferable, disrespectful and EGOTISTICAL WHITE trash. 18yrs or not. He is pathetic!

    I feel I can air what I feel, as I am white, my first cousins are bi-racial and would be as mortified as I am by what I just read.

    One last question. Why is this cracker, EVEN making distinctions between Black and White people? In the end .. We’re ALL human beings… black or white!


  • http://www.realityunscripted.com RealityUnscripted.com

    I think the interview as a tad extra, but I luv the luv he has for his wife.

  • Jess

    calm down hon. you. are. trippin’. don’t get mad because one of yours said that he doesn’t like you. we hear crap like this all the time form whites and our own and dont go all ballistic like you…but then, maybe we should..

  • WhiteWoman

    No No Jess.. you misinterpreted what I was ranting about. (except the trippin part.. that’s true!) What I was saying was, he’s a whitey trying to be all black for marketing. I couldn’t give a rats puckered arse about the ‘creep’ in general..he’s just obnoxious. I was also saying that in this day and age, there is no need to be segregating people by there skin color, and this is what THICK(E) between the ears was/is doing. PS.. we also hear crap about us from all races. But.. it doesn’t make it right or ok.

  • lacorsetiere

    Can we clone him?

  • Ebony82

    I’m sorry but I definitely think that Robin Thicke over did it by stating how there are not enough good white men (maybe he said it as a joke of some sort, maybe he was drunk or maybe both). I am married to a white man and was not flattered AT ALL by his statements. I TOTALLY believe he said it for “brownie” points because a lot of black people like his music, myself included. He went to the extreme: EVERYBODY does not need to know that you have never dated or been attracted to white women! It sounds as if he’s saying it to discourage black women from dating white men, which is ironic being that he is married to a “black” woman. That’s so absurd to say that. I would definitely give him a pop upside the head for that one. He should not have felt the need to reject his race to gain points with another one.

  • Ebony82

    Yes! Let’s clone with without the ridiculousness!

  • arlette

    i liked him so very much until i read this. eww creapy or what?
    “you can’t understand it until you are with somebody every day and you have a child that you know is Black.” firstly you will NEVER understand the black experience unless you are black, secondly your kid is 3/4 white in my books that is a white baby. he should tell his woman next time she tells him he doesnt understand how it feels like to be a black women he should tell her she also will never understand it either. this is the most patronising interview ever, who ever is fooled by this is stupid. he is just a self hating whhite guy, who needs to get over himself. imagine if this was a black man saying all this sh#t, imagine how stupid it would sound? cant stand his wife either i remember reading an interview from her and she was sayin she wished her kid would look more black, well sorry to burst your bubble but you would have to be black to have a black baby.

  • WhiteWoman

    Ebony and Arlette… I’d comment on everything you both said, but all of your statements are well put and bang on! His wife wished their child looked more black? Shame on her.. she should be thanking God the baby is healthy period. What’s with these two? Trying to sound all ‘superior’ and ‘heroic’ because they are a inter-racial couple. NEWSFLASH!! => http://listverse.com/2011/01/25/10-fascinating-interracial-marriages-in-history/ it’s been going on for years!!

  • http://www.jorisocentric.blogspot.com Joke

    I really love Robin Thicke but he just made the dumbest comments ever. If tables were turned and a black man married to a white woman said those things. I’m sure people would have field day with that. He just sounds ignorant, maybe trying to please a certain group of society? That’s not going to win him fans, that’s for sure!

  • Jen

    This was sooo stupid.

    First of all, Paula is not black. Nor does she even look black, really.

    Second of all, this whole interview sounds like a kiss-ass to the black market. I mean it’s a little sad, really. Robin should let the emotive strength of his music stand on its known. No need to talk about how “dumb” white people and particularly “boys” are. And how he has no interest in white women in particular. Yes, you love your wife. YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE! That’s fantastic. Talk about the longevity of your marriage to this woman, not the longevity of your marriage to this black (not really black) woman!

  • Geena Romano,NYC Staten Island

    Jen, paul is not white hun,she is mixed, and she is a BLACK Woman.
    Robin is a cutie pie,the white girl goin off on him above omg chill. it is not really that a serious JMHO.

    and again paul lovely self is a sistah.
    is black. bi-racially BLACK PAULA, is, just like me and my family.

    see my pix on facebook geena romano,from staten island ny i am mix black gorgeous
    mom in her seventies.as my father italian all sicilian still married 54 years! strong. and in lov, just as i see robin cute self. very talented robin thick and paul being married much longer.

    i am happy for them! lol Even if he should have maybe not said well i do not like or
    i m not into dating ,or”i’ve NEVER”date a white woman wow”i mean ok that is to each their own,but it is after all freedom of speech,so i support his comment even if obtuse

    and again we are all HUMAN will all BLEED SAME IF KUT,and i m hatin the “hate”on this
    great singer, smooth EXTREME-in love wit his black and bi-racial lovely wife,and kid
    leave him off.

    life too short to stress out over it.

    WHITE MEN OR BLACK let them switch on WHO TO DATE LOL we all goin to one day
    leave earth,hence life is way too short to be soundin the way some commentary is here
    sounding… ENJOY your wife,or fiancee girlfriend any racial bkgd. i preferably have date
    Sicilian like me,and few black no biggie,it is really again who i m prefer,and click wit.
    and god speed to us all.

    from geena romano

  • rosie

    “What’s with these two? Trying to sound all ‘superior’ and ‘heroic’ because they are a inter-racial couple”

    wow and god bless you whitewoman for coming here and exposing this to us.

  • WhiteWoman

    I was offended by this interview. It really wasn’t my intent to offend anyone, other than the “THICK(E)’s”. Cheers.

  • Jen

    But seriously though, who told this guy that what black people want is a self-hating white man? Newsflash, Robin: THAT’S NOT WHAT BLACK PEOPLE WANT. Black people want white men to be comfortable with who they are as white men, and just not hate/be racist towards black people. Examples: David Bowie, Brad Pitt.

    He overstepped the line.

  • AustralianGirl

    I’d love Robin to give me one of those ‘double-digit orgasms’….

  • WhiteWoman

    BRAVA JEN! Well said.

  • S. wilson

    Get a life! The fact that you left a name like white woman in short is pathetic. I’m bi-racial and I see nothing wrong with his comments. The fact is that he is happy. I loved reading the piece. Maybe if you spent less time judging, you could be happy too ;)

  • S. wilson

    Well said!

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