Laurie Ann Martinez is a psychologist for the California Department of Corrections and apparently also certifiably mad. In an effort to convince her husband that they needed to move to a safer neighborhood, Martinez went through elaborate lengths to fake her own rape. What do you do when you need an imaginary rapist? That’s right, blame it on a random black guy!

Blaming an imaginary black male intruder for her imaginary rape is not all that original, but I’m specifically impressed and disturbed by how far Martinez went with this fake rape thing. First she “robbed” her own house by taking a bunch of electronics over to a girlfriend’s place (you see, rapists also steal things). Next, Martinez cut her lip with a safety pin, ripped her own clothes, rubbed sandpaper across her knuckles to make it look like there was a struggle, and had that same girlfriend put on some boxing gloves and punch her in the face a few times. She even urinated on herself to make it look like she’d passed out and lost control of her bladder, as if those two things go hand in hand.

Martinez, at this point only guilty of extreme stupidity and the failure to communicate effectively in her marriage, called 911. When the police arrived she burst into tears and said that she found “a male black adult” in her kitchen, but when she tried to run away the scary black man grabbed her and hit her until she passed out. She then made use of her pee-pee pants by adding that she woke up with her pants and underwear pulled down to her ankles and therefore had probably been raped.

The Sacramento Police Department spent hundreds of hours working on this case, and undoubtedly pulling over dozens of men who resembled this “male black adult,” so Martinez and her boxing gloved-girlfriend are now facing conspiracy charges for this whole charade. Each woman could serve up to three years in prison.

As if this story is not crazy enough, the reason Laurie Ann Martinez did all of this was to convince her husband that their Sacramento neighborhood is not safe. Martinez and her husband filed divorce papers six weeks after the incident, but for future reference, if you are married to a man who will not consider moving unless you are raped in your own home, then you need to get a divorce. And whatever you do, please don’t blame a random black guy for any of it. That schtick is so tired.

Read the criminal complaint here.

  • The Comment

    I would expect a psych major to be a little more creative when making up stories about rape.

  • SAA

    haha hilar!

  • CD86

    While she wasn’t smart about faking her rape, she was, however, smart in that she knew how to play on the prejudices of Americans towards certain ethnic groups.

  • LurkerG

    How dreadful. And stupid. And yes, to resort to such a pass to keep your husband from divorcing you? SMH! Don’t these crazies watch CSI and L&A? Did she honestly think the police wouldn’t figure her/it out?

  • Reason

    She was cynical not, apparently, smart. Most crimes involving a victim are INTRAracial. So interracial crimes automatically become high profile which lends to more scrunity. Ask Tawan Brawley; the Duke Lacrosse accuser; the McCain campaign volunteer who carved a backwards “B” into her face; the Seattle woman who gave herself an acid facial; Susan Smith; DSK’s accuser; and the real-life runaway bride, etc.

  • Penny

    If she were really smart, she should have just had sex with an actual black guy and then accuse him of rape. That’s usually how it’s done with the most success.

  • Penny

    She probably didn’t think they’d ever suspect a thing, especially in a society that puts more value on a white woman’s word than on a black man’s life.

  • Jen

    Haha, what a fatass.

  • Jen

    LMAO @ Penny.

    Good one;)

  • Ginger

    Ugly on the inside and out.

  • Joan

    Hell…all she really had to do was get a black man inside her house.

  • CD86

    *I didn’t mean smart in the literal sense.

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    That maybe why she selected a black guy. It is well known when it comes to white women, they cannot tell the difference. Anyone will do.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    prison? please!

  • Misty_Moonsilver

    I’m willing to bet that neighborhood is gonna be wayyyy safer then prison. Stupid Woman.

  • I got sense!

    @ Reason
    Exactly! Most people believe that black men are just running rampant raping defenseless, pure white women left and right but a simple glance at the bureau of justice statistics on rape shows that by a WIDE margin, white women are raped by white men the majority of the time. But the smear campaign on black americans, in this case black men, has many people still believing the hype. Damn shame. I hope she really gets raped in prison. Then she will know not to play around with such a serious issue. So many women are sexually assaulted everyday. How dare she play with that?

  • http://@clnmike Clnmike

    Man, all that to move? That is one dangerous woman.

  • LainaLain

    Where the hell did she want to move to that she had to do all that to get there?

  •!/KMichelPress K. Michel

    I found it ironic that the reason for her desire to move was how dangerous Sacramento allegedly was, yet she had to fake being the victim of a crime in the first place. It easy to see that this lady has entitlement issues. Plus, she works in Correction? Haha!

    Good looking out, Thembi… I like this writer.

  • HuesofHoney

    What’s disturbing is she was a psychologist for the department of corrections.

    I guess she could have found that black guy to sleep with..(that Penny mention) to really make this crime look real at work. Some black guy was spared from going back to prison.

  • Russ

    Women lie about rape far more often then the PC-police and feminists would like you to know. I treat EVERY rape accusation and even CONVICTION with extreme scrutiny.

  • T. Rene

    She should get just as much time as the “rapist” would have received.

  • Unnecessary Apostrophes galore!

    Won’t prevent black males from parading women who look like her around town,and rubbing it in your faces.Very little sympathy from me.

  • Kim

    LOL! So true.

  • NY’s Finest

    Messed up, but so very true.

  • Screwface 1011

    move along folks….nothing to see hear except white folk being white folk. Now, you negroes who love chasing these beast….see?

  • Screwface 1011

    Sista, you never have to worry about REAL Black men doing any such thing.

  • GorgeousSmileLove

    I’m sure the cops knew she was lying because what man would risk his life and freedom by raping a big, unsightly, sloppy, nasty white beast??? Who??? NOBODY!!! If this woman were actually young and attractive she might have had a better chance of pulling this crap. Put this evil b*tch in an insane asylum for the rest of her life.

  • BleuMorpho

    You sure that’s a woman?! GROSS!

  • Nia Assata

    The sad reality is that it is still common place to blame black man for the wrong in society. I could care less about her level of intelligence. I am more concerned with Black Men still be the focus when people are looking for villians .. Men of all ethnic backgrounds rape. This mimics the historical and present reality of how people see our men.

  • Cynrhia

    I am currently living in Cheyenne Wyoming and from NYC, and from what I have seen in this place, most of these types of crimes are committed by Whites. From child molestation, to rape to underage sex with minors. I think that people who judge Blacks and Hispanics fail to see the same within their own cultures, in history most of the worst crimes against humans have been by the hands of White males and females. It is not us drowning our children and blaming on a black man, it is not us murdering our wives and dumping the bodies in the woods.

  • secret ninja

    thank you!!!!!!

  • African Mami

    I’m praying for all the brothers out there!!! Sistah’s lets hold hands and kumbaya for our dear brothers, some of these white/brown chicks are TRIFLING!

  • oknow

    yeah she deserves jail.. why couldn’t she say a white man.. wtf?! not that it makes it right but she putting men’s lives in danger because of her lies..

  • KingJason

    She deserves more than three years in jail at least 5-10 because someone’s life could have been ruined.

  • purplekeychain

    I’m not even commenting on this post. I’m commenting on the downright misogyny in the comments. SERIOUSLY, FOLKS – fat women and ugly women are NEVER in danger of rape or other forms of sexual violence?

    What the actual f=ck?

  • Pingback: Woman Fakes Rape to Get New House | Today's Impulse

  • L. Raquel Peterson – Sexy Focused Ambitious

    She needs to up-slapped

Latest Stories

Maya Rudolph Scores Her Own Variety Show! Janelle Monae, Craig Robinson & Raphael Saadiq to Appear


Dating Don’ts: Love In The Age Of Instagram


New Study: Young Women View Incidents of Sexual Assault as Normal


Pew Center: Only a Quarter of Americans Consider Pres. Obama ‘Black’

Read previous post:
Jennifer Aniston Named Sexiest Woman of All Time?
Polyamory: Safer Sex for Non-monogamists