Yes, we know you’ve been waiting (some of you all night), but it’s all led up to this.

Since early last year, Issa Rae and the cast of the hit web series The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl have been keeping viewers talking and laughing about J’s awkward antics. From her boss from hell, to her awkward love triangle, we’ve been there for every single ABG moment.

The previous episode ended on a cliffhanger, and we can’t wait to see how it all unfolds.

After having both of her crushes finally step up,  J must choose between Fred and White J. Although fans have taken sides and have argued about who they think J should choose, it’s all come down to this: The Decision.

Watch the season finale of Awkward Black Girl.

What do you think? Did J make the right choice? 

*Want to see another season of Awkward Black Girl? DONATE!

  • YeahRight2011


  • Cocoa Report

    I love this show!

  • AOA

    Pure hilarity!!!! Great final episode!!!

  • BeautyIAM

    Loved, loved, loved, loved, and loved it!!!

    Leslie was just too much in this episode. LOL. And the Donald Glover seen…White J thinking Danny Glover and Donald Glover were related…I died. Haha.

    And what a cute awkward kiss.

    I can’t wait for the next season.

  • kim

    Hilarious!!!! I cannot wait til next season. I loved how awkward that scene was between J, White J, and Donald Glover.

    “Your family is so talented”, “I loved Lethal Weapon”. iDied.

    I love this show!

  • Dee Rene

    To see the growth of this series from start to finish is truly amazing. Great job.

  • Vertigo Schtick

    DONALD GLOVER. AHHH. *fangirlpuddieofmush* Ahaha, and white Jay thought Danny Glover was his father….

    I feel like Season 2 is going to be a parody of the issue that was brought up by CFC last month :/ *sigh*

  • Hiphopmommie

    I love it :)

  • kidole

    I got a little teary-eyed when she broke the news to fred & his little puppy dog face.

  • Kat

    this episode was well worth the wait. I loved every aspect of it and applaud the whole ABG team, including Issa Rae, for their vision, creativity & talent in putting this out. W must support this, by donating to their kick starter campaign..Again & again..

  • Mabinty

    Yesssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She made the right choice!

  • me

    soooo glad she picked white jay!!!

  • fufuandoreos

    It’s NOT a mistake that this upload was pushed until Friday the 13th! Makes this series even more epic. This is definitely the season for the Black Female Artist (and one that won’t end!) ISSA, you did it! Finale? PERFECT. Here’s to Season 2.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    black girl hooks up with white boy and everybody is happy? this is some sick stuff. the black women of today are so throughly brainwashed that they don’t even know who their oppressor is. that is really sad. this sister is a useful idiot.

  • complexity

    Although I am #teamtheguythatdidn’tgetpicked (in case you scroll on accident), you just want people to be happy and if she is, that’s cool. DG, YES! Can’t wait for next season. I like that the show has blossomed into this and I know that it will keep on blossoming.

  • Candy 1

    Really enjoyed this episode! I didn’t want her to get with White Jay, but oh well. Great ending to the season.

  • akosua

    James, I curious if you have the same sentiments for black males?

  • purplekeychain

    OMG I am actually kind of in shock.

    YES she made the right choice!

    This episode was perfect. Especially the final scene. I am SO GLAD that Issa went back to form in the. There wasn’t a lot of “awkwardness” in the later episodes, and they kind of let me down. This one gave me hope again!


  • purplekeychain

    “The black women of today are so throughly brainwashed that they don’t even know who their oppressor is. ”

    Hahahhhahahah! I love disgruntled men. So predictable…

  • purplekeychain

    Another reply that disappeared into cyberspace. This website, I swear…

    Anyway, I LOVED this episode. Jay totally made the right choice. And I’m so glad that she finally went back to form and made the show “awkward” again. The later episodes were kind of disappointing, but it looks like Season 2 is going to be on the right track! YAY!

  • BeautyIAM

    I normally ignore your all of your comments James, but let me say this.

    Its men like YOU who are the oppressors. Men like you who think you have to audacity to tell women like me who we should or should not be with. Its men like you have the nerve to think that you can tell me who I should love or want to be with. James, I get that you came from a time when racism was much more overt and a time when Black people had no say. But you need to wake up before you die. Having this mentality of White people being the only oppressor gets you nowhere.

    Do you know who the real oppressor is James? IGNORANCE.

    I’ll just go back to ignoring you.

  • HoneyDew


  • modern lady

    It lived up to the hype-unlike “The Game”.

  • Alexandra

    Haha that bathroom rap was hilarious. Her date at the sushi restaurant was so awkward; I like that she continued the theme & never dropped it. I hope next season is the same.

    Great Season Finale, Issa! Even though I can’t get over the Halloween diss, I think she made the right choice too. I hope next season is all about their adventures being an awkward couple.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    ignorance is not knowing about the system of white supremacy that operates in present day society.

    white men are the oppressor. white people set up and operate the system of white supremacy and they benefit from it daily. why do you think it is that white people have the most and black people have the least? do you think black people are lazy and incompetent? do you really believe that white people are so superior that they deserve to run everything and own everything? who should benefit from the riches that come out of africa today? who owns those diamonds? do you even think about it?

    if you have even the slightest awareness of white privilege and how it benefits white people today, how it sets them ahead of us you would think twice before disrespecting a brother who is trying to call it to your attention. i am not talking about the past. i am talking about what is going on right now, right here. the white man is screwing you literally and now you want to screw him figuratively?

    have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?

    peace sisters, yall need t wake up in here.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    @akosua : any black person who is aware of what is going on will have no interest in mating with a non black person…..IMO the very fact that one can look at a white with desire indicates a lack of awareness and a mental illness.

    you ever hear of a jewess dating a nazi? a Palestinian dating an Israeli?
    people do not typically date their oppressors.

    the fact that we do lets me know that the brainwashing is complete.

  • Gigi Young

    LOLOL! I was dying throughout the entire episode. Glad that now that J has chosen her man, they’re going back to hilarious stuff in the office.


  • modern lady

    Get your underwear outta your ass, James. I think you underestimate Black women by assuming we can’t decipher the difference between harmless satire and real life.

    Maybe you’re the one whose brainwashed into believing the worst about your ‘sistas’.

  • QON

    Upset she didnt pick Fred. Fred looked so gorgeous in this episode but its nice to see that she is happy with her decision. So now what do we have to look forward too? Kids? LOL.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    there is no such thing as harmless media…..

  • Name

    HIlarious!!! Love it, love it, love it!!
    BTW, am i the only black person who thought that Donald and Danny GLover were realted? LOL

  • sunshyne84

    I’m so upset. Why J why?!!!

  • grace

    This show has definitely grown. I hope the show’s creator reads the comments.

    1) I was surprised that there was 3 commercial breaks. She is really stepping it up in terms of quality production.

    2) Honestly, I was #TeamFred at the beginning, but because the show was so well scripted, I did not care at all who she ended up with, I just loved the entire show. I’ve grown attached to each of the characters for various reasons. It’s things like this that make me want to try screenwriting one day. “I GET YOU.” somehow I loved that MORE than saying “I love you.”

    3) I really love the acting. I actually felt the disconnect between Fred and Jay versus the connection I felt between Jay and White Jay. And the touch of comedy during the confrontation scene! LOVED IT! Again, great screenwriting.

    4) I LOVE that fact that you brought back AMIR! And, love the WAY you brought him back. I saw what you did there *wink.* Cute way to hit back at the critics.

    5) Random stuff: Um, bosslady, what? That lady was always a hilarious question mark, untouchable ratchedness, and a walking hot mess. I think it is interesting that she is leaving, because her “vacation” let us see that she was not as essential to the show, though absolutely hilarious. Oh, well, new characters will come in. SO many questions! Cece! NO! Will Fred get with Nina to get back at Jay? What is with White Jay’s ex? What does the new whispering policy mean for Darius’ job security? And what will everyone’s view of an interracial relationship mean for the future of their relationship?

    To sum up, F**K what everyone else says. Awkward Black Girls are not politically correct, perfect, and they will not please everyone. But…that’s why….I GET IT.

  • fuchsia

    Yeah, she made the right choice. I like how she is with White Jay. After Halloween I thought White Jay was playing games and should be kicked to the curb, but he kept it real. Lucky for him he didn’t jump into another relationship the next day.

  • akosua

    James you did not answer my question.

  • Srenda


    You sir are the “Debbie Downer” of Clutch. Do you ever have anything positive to say? You need to relax. I mean, you just called Issa Rae, an actress, writer, director, producer, let alone a woman who could be your grandaughter, “a useful idiot” because a character she is playing on a show that she created and has offered to us freely for our entertainment chooses to date a white guy that she likes. You are the one being disrespectul. This knowledge of self you are talking about, who taught you that knowledge, black Jesus? Elijah Mohammed? And did you really just say, “Jewess?” Of course Jay’s choice isn’t independent from the politics and is certainly worth discussing too. I mean, okay, why did she choose the white guy? But the vitriol, sir, does nothing but harm yourself. We celebrate Dr. King’s Birthday on Monday what would he say to all this about a world he could only dream of? What would Malcolm X say whose views shifted at the end of his life after he came back from Mecca where he worshipped alongside white Arab men? Open your heart to these teachings, these examples, go past the anger. I have that anger, too, but we have to transcend it. What this sista did with this show is phenomenal. Malcolm X, Dr. King, Rosa Parks, Sojourner Truth, etc (okay maybe not Marcus Garvey, lol) would be very proud of her.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    @Srenda : are you stating that even though white people oppress us we cannot be angry? how sick is that. whites can do all the dirt that they currently do and we smile and kiss them? as we kiss them and love them they are stealing our wealth.

    MLK was about economic justice. i marched with him and was there in DC for that speech. i think i know a little about the man. he died fighting for economic justice.
    have you all forgotten? the system of white supremacy denies black people economic justice. how can any black person who has knowledge of the situation want a white lover? how can you date the one who is raping your people?

    who you will date is a political statement.

  • Srenda

    Anger about white supremacy is absolutely warranted but love, the true unconditional kind, the kind that’s not always easy to get to, is not race-specific at all. We have every reason to be angry but it only makes us ill and live unpleasant lives to stay stuck in that anger. I’ve lost too many people I love to that rage, anger and depression. I’ve even almost lost myself a time or two. This anger also makes us hurt each other because at times we do feel powerless, and in many instances we are. Loving white people whether in the bedroom or from afar does not mean to forget, though many of us may try to. Sexual attraction and love are complicated things. We can be drawn to people because they are the “other” or they happen to be someone we just fell in love with despite what society says. It happens all the time. And the anger, though much of it is righteous, at the end of the day is not the antidote to white supremacy. Economic justice is also not the antidote to white supremacy. Black nationalism is also not the antidote to white supremacy. And I am certainly not suggesting that interracial dating is either. They are only temporary band-aids, to greater, deeper problems with not just the black community but the world community and how divided and at odds we are and how much we are all still affected by the past. Greater healing is required which means we have to go behind that anger to the pain then past the pain to greater hope and clarity about what really matters here. Not easy. And I am not saying this as someone who has gotten there it is a struggle everyday to not wake up pissed off at what I have to deal with and push through every day as a black woman but I owe it to myself and to my ancestors who had far, far more to deal with to try to wake up happy and hopeful and determined to live a decent, healthy life.

  • Srenda

    @jamesfrmphilly oops, didn’t mean to post this here. The comment above was a response to your earlier response to me.

    Anyway, Congratulations, Issa! Your show is amazing!

  • Girl

    I would take you seriously if it wasnt a wellknown fact that you go MIA when it comes to discussions regarding black men salivating over white women.

  • girlformerlyknownasgrace

    and in other news, the price of tea in China today is $3.75/lb.

    just trying to lighten the mood a little. But seriously, didn’t MLK cheat on his wife? How then are women liberated if they are expected to stand by their men, when their men don’t stand by them at home? Many times, our black men expect us to fight for racial equality, that they neglect us black women when it comes to gender equality. And women (including black women) make less than men. Who will fight for our economic oppression? What about the black man’s inherent privilege in the job market by virtue of the fact that he is male?

    But I recognize that feeling that you have, jamesfrmphilly. It is that same feeling I unconsciously get when I see black men with white/lighter skin women. On a personal level, I recognize that love is love and ignores history to some extent. On a collective level, it makes me wonder how black men view darker skinned women aesthetically as a whole. But their relationships are not my problem and I know how to separate my personal issues from the collective.

    And by the way, yes, there are stories, plenty of them, of jews dating Nazis (some happy endings, some not), Israelis dating Palestians etc. Remember the movie Hotel Rwanda? Hutus woman and Tutsis man (or vice versa, I dont recall) and based on a true story.

    The main difference is these people have deconstructed racial, ethnic or national boundaries on a personal level, whereas the people around them could not deconstruct. Your statements reinforce the social construct that dating preferences should be judged by the color of their skin rather than character. If MLK fought for black kids to go to school side by side with white kids, would he be so opposed to the same kids dating white kids later on?

  • Pearsrevealed


  • Pearsrevealed

    Confession…I had never seen or heard of Donald Glover. Just went to Google Prep and YouTube University to get a quick education. Rarely watch network tv. Prefer his stand up comedy. Just don’t like today’s rap.

  • QON


    How old are you? When was the last time anyone asked you to fight for racial equality. Girl get off it. Black PEOPLE have given up on that fight a long time ago.

    We already know why women make less than men. Men have qaulifications that pay more and they work longer hours.

    Also black men dont have an advantage in the job market. Wasnt it black women highlighting the fact that black women are more employable and preferred by employers than black men? Black women have used that fact as a stick to beat black men with. How are you changing the script now?

    When speaking to James you must understand that he is an older black man and he grew up in a time far far different from the one you and I have grown up in because I am going to assume you are under 30. That is where his experiences come from not from the manufactured greivances of todays black people.

    Please stop using words like oppression. You dont live in Saudi Arabia.

  • chanela

    thank you for not posting spoilers! i think there should be a disclaimer next time for people NOT to scroll down before they see the video cause bitches be spoilin!!! lol

    so rude!

    i bet these are the same people who watch a movie with you and that they’ve seen before and you haven’t, and decide to recite all the lines to the movie and say ” oh this is the part where the main character dies!!!!” UGHH

  • jamesfrmphilly

    @girl “I would take you seriously if it wasnt a wellknown fact that you go MIA when it comes to discussions regarding black men salivating over white women”

    any black man with a white woman is just as big a fool as a sister with a white man.
    it does not make sense to love those who are oppressing and exploiting you and your people. every white benefits from white privilege and white supremacy. for some black to then fall in love with them is a mental illness. it is known as stockholm syndrome.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    righteous anger is healthy and liberating. to love those who are harming you and your people is a mental illness known as masochism.

    we are not animals controlled by our gonads and mating with anything that crosses our path. we are gods and our minds control our reality. i will date a white woman when they release their hold on Africa’s riches and pay reparations to black Americans.

    who you love is a political decision.

  • Socially Maladjusted


    “On a personal level, I recognize that love is love and ignores history to some extent”

    “The main difference is these people have deconstructed racial, ethnic or national boundaries”


    powerful arguments that hadn’t occurred to me in those terms.


    they would be more convincing if not for the fact that interacial dating among blacks in america seems to be driven NOT by the deconstruction of race and class barriers but by an acute awareness of the consequences of race and class for blacks, and thus the desire to escape those consequences by assimilating into whiteness.

    In other words, they don’t date white because they only see people not colour, they date white because they see what white people have and want it

    and see what black people don’t have and want no part of it.

    For them, priviledge and power are synonymous with whiteness.

    On my more positive days I like to think – it’s not whites that they want but what whites have and believe the only way to get that is by “becoming” white through intermarriage.
    Well I suppose that may be the right path for some – and good riddance as far as I’m concerned.

    Personally, I just want back what whites have taken from me and the people I come from.

  • Socially Maladjusted


    “On a personal level, I recognize that love is love and ignores history to some extent”

    “The main difference is these people have deconstructed racial, ethnic or national boundaries”


    powerful arguments that hadn’t occurred to me in those terms.


    they would be more convincing if not for the fact that interacial dating among blacks in america seems to be driven NOT by the deconstruction of race and class barriers but by an acute awareness of the consequences of race and class for blacks, thus the desire to escape those consequences by assimilating into whiteness.

    In other words, they don’t date white because they only see people not colour, they date white because they see what white people have and want it

    and see what black people don’t have and want no part of it.

    For them, priviledge and power are synonymous with whiteness.

    On my more positive days I like to think – it’s not whites that they want but what whites have and believe the only way to get that is by “becoming” white through intermarriage.

    Well I suppose that may be the right path for some – and good riddance as far as I’m concerned.

    Personally, I just want back what whites have taken from me and the people I come from.

  • Socially Maladjusted


    With you 100%

  • Srenda

    @jamesfrmphilly okay gonna tie it back into the topic: so White Jay is harming Jay then? I don’t think they’ve even had sex yet. By your logic, White Jay has personally got a hold on Africa’s riches and needs to pay reparations to black Americans. Or it’s more what he, as a white man in general represents: rapist and pillager.

    You mentioned Nazi’s in an earlier example: wouldn’t what your saying only apply if that person is still a Nazi? Of course, I can agree with you if a Jewish person decides to sleep with someone who is a Nazi. But the person they are considering dating might be the descendant of a Nazi, though not a Nazi themselves.

    So what I’m saying is although White Jay surely benefits from being a white male in a white supremacist society first by being born into one and then whatever he might have picked up and colluded with along the way does it not at all mean that he could be someone who might be at least somewhat open to learning and growing. Are you that hopeless about all white people? Is it not possible that some of them can take a stand against white supremacy themselves and change at least to some degree? Are they all evil to you?

    Your Stockholm Syndrome point is an interesting one, but doesn’t hold up as well when you make sweeping generalizations. If their were scenes in ABG where White Jay was calling Jay an n-word b-word and beating her and clearly indicating to her that he thought she was inferior based on her race, and maybe he also was a member of the Fox News Team, etc, etc, and she still wanted to be with him and make mullato babies with him then I would agree with you 100% that she probably has something like Stockholm Syndrome.

    You say we are Gods? Can’t that be described as mental illness, too? Like Delusions of Grandeur? Megalomania?

    These judgements you make are knee-jerk responses to interracial relationships in general. And interracial relationships can always be interpreted politically, whether or not they are inherently political is debatable.

    Don’t know if you have any children but if you did and one of your children fell in love with a white person and wanted to be with them marry them and even have babies, (your grandbabies) with them would you disown your child if you couldn’t convince them otherwise?

    “i will date a white woman when they release their hold on Africa’s riches and pay reparations to black Americans.”

    Ok, of course your choice, but how does a white woman release her hold on Africa’s riches and go about paying reparations to Black Americans. What if she’s poor herself and doesn’t even know she’s got a hold on Africa’s riches? You see generalizing doesn’t leave much room for nuance. How many white women personally have a hold on Africa’s riches? What does that mean exactly?

  • Srenda


    I hear what you are saying but their are plenty of interracial relationships occurring between poor blacks and whites, too, but you also make a good point. But is it always so simple though the reasons why people get together? Or more specifically the reasons why a black person and a white person would get together. Personally, I think it’s messy. It’s a hodgepodge of reasons. Some of it could be based on unconscious, even conscious white supremacy, mixed in with genuine love, among other things. It’s just part of our human experience. It’s complex.

    Obama, as we know is bi-racial, so what? No matter what conscious or unconscious racially motivated reasons his parents had in getting together, is Obama somehow tainted by their union? His Black African Father abandoned him and he was loved and cared for by his not very wealthy at all white Mom. Obama still went on to marry a black woman. So again all of it is complicated.

  • modern lady

    Maybe you need to encourage your brothers to stop drinking the Kool-Aid regarding interracial dating. I mean, every weekend most brothers are at home rooting on brothers who can’t seemed to be bothered to date a black woman.

    And I never said media was harmless-but people, especially the beautiful sistas that read “the Clutch” are smart enough to see something and NOT internalize or emulate that behavior if we don’t want to.

    Instead of arguing over something that’s pretty pointless-why don’t you try complimenting or uplifting Black women for a change. And you guys call US angry *rolls eyes*.

  • modern lady

    I can’t wait for the next episode-I noticed they didn’t say when the next episode would be debuting.

  • modern lady

    My bad, this was the season finale.

  • YeahRight2011


    ‘Non-white’ doesn’t translate into “friends of African Americans”. Before we start giving non-whites racial handicaps we better figure out how they’re presence affects us and what they’ve done to contribute to white supremacy and privilege.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    is it your mission to absolve all white people of responsibility? by logically letting all current white people off the hook what you are really doing is rationalizing that YOU do not have to fight. after all, if there are no bad white folk out there you can just sleep in without guilt.

    i say that black people are god people. i gain this knowledge from kamitic spirituality as taught by RA UN NEFER AMEN in his book “the metu neter” (the word of GOD). our grandeur is not a delusion, our oppression is an illusion. we keep ourselves fast asleep and get angry at anyone who tries to shake us awake. i say, wake up black people.

    lets look at diamond. right now black people are paying jews for diamond. how do jews come to “own” diamond that comes from the ground of Africa? why don’t the black africans own it? that is only one example. white people are stealing our wealth and we are loving them? wake up black people, please.

    lets take it closer to home. how come “red tails” could not get financed? the white man himself said it was because the film had no white heroes. but it is a true story. the tuskegee airmen are real black heroes. wake up black people.

    i don’t care how cute and cuddly any white person presents. i know that the greatest trick the devil ever did is to convince people that he does not exist. all white people benefit from white privilege and white supremacy. denial is just their way of having it both ways. they benefit but remain blissfully unaware. wake up black people.

    who you will date is a political decision.

  • Srenda

    @jamesfrmphilly Alright James, not absolving anyone of anything. Are you sure you’re not just a little brainwashed by some of your over the top Black Nationalistic views? You want to be angry all the time and judgemental that’s your business.You want to believe that what you believe or what Ra Un Nefer Amen teaches you to believe if it makes you happy and feel good about yourself, that’s your business, too. Right now, I’m going to celebrate Issa’s accomplishment over lunch with my cuddly white boyfriend. He’s a handsome devil, too.

  • grace

    Yeah, for myself, I am not sure that I have or ever will resolve these types of issues or questions. It may change due to experiences, people I meet, the things I see. It is easy to argue these things on a forum but real life, I don’t know that love can be rationalized in perfectly clear-cut terms. Therefore I honestly don’t have a concrete answer to the issues you bring up.

  • joy

    @Qon; Do you ever have any other opinions other than siding with men. If you really are a women you would definitely be considered a female Male supremacist (ironic?). Every comment of yours always highlight the flaws of women and how much women do the men wrong. Your husband must really love you as you appear very subordinate and in your place. Its really funny how you pick up for jamesfrmphilly who disagrees with interracial dating even though a couple articles back you were arguing against women commenters who also questioned interracial relationships. So where do you stand? Or is your position always the man’s position????


  • apple

    White jay was the better choice not because he’s white but because he was just a better match and consistent from the beginning . He didnt brush her off and wait until she liked someone else to take interest.It felt right and not forced. Whether jay was white or not he was the better choice

  • Socially Maladjusted


    well I guess other people’s dating preferences are none of my business, but what pains me is the infighting that seems to accompany interacial dating.

    People can’t just date interacially and leave it at that, (which is were we seem to be getting to in the UK). In America people turn IR dating into a crusade against their own kind.

    so sad.

    We blacks used to be at the forefront of grass roots political struggle for social justice. It used to about ending racism, jobs, decent housing, equal opportunity – now it’s only about which sex can outdo the other in dating interacially.

    I don’t think that’s an accident.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    that would explain why you have the views that you express.
    the real issue with IR for black people is they can only do it by blinding themselves.
    anything tat you cannot do with your eyes wide open is wrong for you.
    that stockholm syndrome is a mess.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    are you sad because you cannot date IR without somebody calling you out?

  • jamesfrmphilly

    i prefer the missionary position

  • jamesfrmphilly

    @modern lady : IMO i am standing up for black women by pointing out that they are far to magnificent to be laying down with white dogs

  • Pearsrevealed

    @ Srenda…Hilarious!!!! Also I love your name. Is it just your online handle or did your mom give you that name?

  • MommieDearest

    Meh. Not surprised she picked White J. I believe it was planned that way from the beginning, because let’s face it, her dating a white man adds to the drama, intrigue and “awkwardness’ of the show. Also, I’m sure that Issa keeps up with the sites that promote her show and at least skims the comments from her viewers. She saw that the majority of her audience was riding White J’s bandwagon, so she did the expedient thing by letting the character J pick him.

  • EssDot323

    I was torn between Fred and White Jay. White Jay gets her but Fred understood her too. She already had something going with White Jay so of course he understood her.

    I love Cici and Jay’s friendship but I’m always on a paper chase so I’d probably head to New Mexico for the promotion and pay increase.

    I’m still shocked by how good looking A is. So lean and fit *SIGHS* :-D

  • DT

    @jamesfromphilly, I think your comments are misguided for a few reasons, many of which have been articulated already so I’ll just focus on one. You may be right to say that our love interests and therefore our decisions about that love have political implications. I agree. However, your sentiment suggests that the only type of real or relevant power is directed from white to black people. It would be foolish for me to argue that blacks are not oppressed by the tyranny of white supremacy. We are. However, if we apply your logic to ALL types of oppression, arguing that “loving those who harm you and your people is masochism,” we can see its flaws pretty clearly. I’m a woman who loves men. Men, being the inhabitants of very real, very potent male privilege oppress and harm me and the women around me daily (even despite their sometimes good intentions). Each day, I am faced with the threat of sexual violence, of men who expect and pressure me to look and behave a certain way. I encounter men who underestimate my intelligence and who exercise the power to keep me from the opportunities that I have worked for and deserve. Does this mean that I should only date women? I take it from your comment that you, a man who dates women, would quickly answer no. YOU alone are not responsible for women’s oppression, correct? Should I blame you for being born into a society that gives you the power to oppress women, even despite all of your effort not to. Should a lower or working-class person NEVER consider dating someone from a more affluent background? Surely the privileged rich are oppressing the poor.

    I say all of this to demonstrate that we have to become more skilled at seeing individual people as existing within a political context but not always being perfect embodiments of that context. I am a straight black woman committed to the struggles and well-being of LGBT people. And while I expect those people to be honest with me when it comes to homophobia, heterosexism and the straight privilege that show me daily advantages, it would be hurtful and simply wrong for them to only see me as an oppressor. Because despite the many forms of privilege I benefit from, I am doing my best to disrupt the bigoted patterns that continue to disadvantage the people that I love.

    Seeing white J only as an oppressor is not holding whites accountable in a productive manner. What it does is conceptually strip them of the possibility to change. If we, as black people, are entitled to a world where we are seen as people with our own individual flaws, aspirations and backgrounds that do not represent the entire race, we must understand that everyone deserves that opportunity.

  • girlformerlyknownasgrace

    *cue the sigh* I dropped off this because I am not too interested in continuing a discussion with people I am not sure will ever agree with me. I actually prefer, and know I will end up marrying, a black man (but not because of politics, I really do find black men more physically attractive). But I have biracial friends. Am I going to tell my best friend that her parents were stupid for copulating? And that her existence was the result of a perverse act? Actually that sounds quite sick to me. And I have black friends of both genders who date people of all races. Am I going to tell them they are stupid for dating white people? Would I decide not to attend someone’s wedding or be a bridesmaid over race? Is that something I would be willing to lose a friendship over? I think not.

  • bk chick

    Amen! very good point and very well articulated

  • Cherish

    I was so squirmy while watching the episode. J made a wise decision in picking White J. Fred did not pay attention to her until the last minute. When she thought that dating Fred was great, it wasn’t satisfying. I am glad that she picked White J. Lesson of the day: pick someone who was there from the beginning. The one who has accepted the quirks and wholesomeness of her person.

  • Suburban Soulgirl

    I wasn’t impressed with either Fred or White Jay, as they are both profoundly flawed. But I’m not gonna lie, White Jay was the better of the two choices…It seemed that Fred was only chasing after J for competition’s sake.

  • gryph

    there’s a lot of “black women should marry white men” propaganda in the media generally – and concentrated in standford.

    first there’s ralph e. bank’s book: “is marriage for white people”.

    then, there this independent web series from (jo)-issa rae (diop) which centralizes a white male love interest “white j” – almost literally her other half.

    her co-star in the series, and fellow standford alum, is apparently shopping a screen-play called “is marriage for white people?”. it is a very odd recurring theme which disturbing positions white people as solution to partly manufactured problems. that in itself is a problem.

    i personally don’t have much of a problem with inter-racial unions. but it is odd that for so many “inter-racial” means – always and only – “white”. i do have a problem with black people putting white folks on pedestals (i.e. creating a narrative in which the white choice is the sincere uncomplicated choise) or using “blackness” to invest in “whiteness”.

    also, while i don’t have evidence for it yet, i’m thinking marriage policy and promotion policy has something to do with this cluster of representations. and even if not, the centralising of whiteness – and the black vs. white dynamic – of each of these works illustrates just how white supremacy shapes our perceptions, desires and interests.

    i’m disappointed that diop would take the approach that she did, but then, if she didn’t i’m not sure that the series would have been as popular with the demographic that it is. and that’s sort of sad.

  • Srenda

    @Pearsrevealed Thanks about my name! And nope it’s just my online name. Yours is really nice, too. When I first saw it I thought it said, “Pearlsrevealed.”

  • Pearlsrevealed

    OPPS. I just noticed the “L” got deleted. Don’t know when that happened. It is pearLs. LOL

  • Socially Maladjusted


    “I am faced with the threat of sexual violence, of men

    of dysfunctional men

    so please don’t impute the pathological inclinations in some people onto all men. Rape is not male trait any more than infanticide is a female trait. It’s one of the many acts of violation that people of both sexes commit against other people.

    We can all rattle off a littany of violent acts that threaten harm to us, but only those who want to make political capital out of sexualizing a crime would resort to demonising the entire half of the human population as a threat to the other half.

    “who expect and pressure me to look and behave a certain way.”

    I suggest you take this up with other women – seems to me that most of the “pressure” to look a certain way is exerted on women by other women.

    But yes – men, (like women), have aesthetic preferences that reflect a generic idealized version of woman – so what? They’re just preferences that most men happily compromise when choosing a mate.


    Furthermore let’s not pretend that peformance pressure only goes one way, if women claim to be sexually objectified then men can equally claim to be – objectified as success objects.

    The average non-super successful male is almost invisible to most women. Indeed, at best, he seems to be a nuisance to them, at worst he is portrayed as posing -

    “the threat of sexual violence to women”

    Well that kind of anti-male hostility creates a oppressive social environment for men, which many lash out against in the ways we’ve become all too familiar with.

    White men should also be outraged by such an indiscriminate slur on all masculinity, because it has consequnece in the form of ever draconian measures to control the male population.

    Many of them are – and all this BLACK MAN can say is -

    bout time.

    “who exercise the power to keep me from the opportunities that I have worked for and deserve.”

    Well I’m going to avoid the obvious rebuttal to this by not stating which men (in this society) are best placed to deny you opportunity. Clue – it’s probably, mostly not black men.

    “encounter men who underestimate my intelligence”

    Or maybe they’re just switching communication style to suit a male/female dynamic. You assume the difference is due a lesser regard for your intelligence.

    Not necessarily –

    it goes against custom to come at a woman with a – hey fool come here, this this and this. You gotta be all – Sandra could you pop (your scrumptious lil self) over for a second, I’d like go over this this and this with you –

    (actually, I’d just like to go over you.)

    the brackets are the bits you’re thinking but can’t say.

    oops – sexual threat alarm.



    kiss teet

  • Socially Maladjusted


    let’s deal with the nonsense argument that says black women could equally decline black men because they have also oppressed black women.

    I’m going to rebut it in – in one sentence.


    Taking this foolish argument to its illogical conclusion -

    men and women should have no dealings with each other at all since all men are oppressors of all women.

    White women should not date white men and black women even less so, since white men have oppressed them both by sex and race.


    too funny.

    If go with the lie that black men have oppressed black women, how does that serve as argument for forgiving the oppression of white men – to extent that only black men are indicted for oppressing black women, while white men are now held up as the better of “two” evils option for black women?

    How come other women don’t seem to view their men folk with such contempt as to forfiet their entire history together. “sexist oppression” and all, for the sake f uckin men from a culture that has brutally oppressed them for centuries?

    Somebody’s gone crazy round here.

    Carry on

  • purplekeychain

    I just had to come back and say that Patty is my favorite character and I’m so glad that she’s back!

  • EssDot323

    Socially Maladjusted:

    You’ve completely missed the point in DT’s comment that was directed at jamesfrmphilly. Read his comment, then read hers, and then things should be cleared up for you.

  • Socially Maladjusted


    I deliberately chose not to address her post as a whole because it contained too many fallacies, accusations, and slanders against too many people to be allowed to pass without a point by point refutation.

    I didn’t miss anything –

    I dimissed it all.

  • EssDot323

    Socially Maladjusted:

    So you dismissed her personal experiences because you don’t like them?

  • Uncontainable Spirit

    Still Team Fred!

  • M-


    I would surmise the following comment was stated within a generalized context, and not to be taken literally:

    “We already know why women make less than men. Men have qaulifications (qualifications) that pay more and they work longer hours”…

    However, if your intent was to present this statement as fact, rather than vague opinion, I would have to disagree with you. While to an extent, common beliefs associated with gender wage gaps have included assertions such as the one you proposed. Unfortunately, extensive research have concluded this reason is not necessarily the case, but rather a typical defense masking an underline, almost insidious motive instead.

    As I’m sure you are aware, industry jobs traditionally held by men (i.e. manufacturing, engineering, agriculture) required certain skill sets and time commitment. In turn, wages were aligned respective to specific criteria, such as position or market conditions. Conversely, women on average were not afforded comparable prospects due to limited educational or socio-economic reasons. As such, opportunities to acquire similar position (and possible wage) levels with men were excluded. That is until recently (spanning the course of 30 years), where women have been able to attain competencies necessary to rival these once male-dominated arenas.

    However, this achievement does not translate into equal compensation for women due to emerging reasons identified by researchers (i.e. being “mommy tracked”, lack of promotions/sponsors, poor negotiation strategies, or sex discrimination), which validate actual causes for wage disparities. Women have keen abilities and pending the role, work just as many hours as men. Thus, the notion of “qualifications and longer hours” on surface may appear to be the culprit, do realize this is not the case. Rather, the wage disparity is a result of historical and social conditions that have impeded women (and to some degree men) to undermine equitable compensation for performance and financial well-being.

    P.S. Listed below are references that examine conditions associated with gender wage disparities and strategies for effective negotiation. Hope this information can provide relevant insight to those interested!


    Babcock, L., & Achiever, S. (2007). Women don’t ask. New York, NY: Bantam Dell.

    Carter, J. F. (2007). Double outsiders: How women of color can succeed in corporate America. Indianapolis, IN: JIST Works.

    Stanny, B. (2004). Secrets of six-figure women. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers.$$01685.aspx

  • gryph

    …and that just about closes the discussion on that issue…permanently.

    qon. i beg you. go somewhere to stitch your head back on.

    m- hey…hey there…WHEN i say something to offend you, please do remember i once said nice things about you.

    okay thank you and good night.

  • M-


    LOL, I will definitely keep that in mind WHEN you do! Have a great one in the meantime…;-)

  • Socially Maladjusted

    I’m no interacialism crusader but if one of the criteria for choosing mates is that they are not from a class that has historically oppressed us. then the only black/white IRs that can be approved are those between black men and white women.

    Black men have not oppressed white women and white women, atlhough accomplices to it, haven’t been the driving force in black men’s oppression.

    So if we are to sanction interacial relationships by the quality of being oppression free then the black man/white woman combo should be the IRs that cause the least amount of discomfort.

    Indeed since white women continue to be subordinated by white men (apparently) and black men (exempting black men like me) continue to be subordinated by white males – the only people in this society who truly come together as equals, absent of the normal male/female superior/inferior gender dynamics, are black men and white women.

    In white male on white female relationships the woman is unequal to the male by sex, in white male on black female relationships the women is “unequal” to the white male on two counts – by race and sex.

    In short, black men and white women have more in common, oppression wise and equality wise, than black women have with white men -

    making for the possibility of a much improved male/female relationship template. Black men and white women are better placed to see past what girlformerlyknownasgrace refers to as the social constructs of race and class, and overcome those barriers because they meet on a more equal footing.

    In contrast, black women chasing the “interacial dream” approach it from the opposite direction. For them for them it’s a recognition of the inequalities of race and even more disturbingly, a conviction that the white supremacist order is the natural order, and thus a desire to date//breed/marry into the white race to access white privilege, power and

    “white beauty”(?)

    White people live beautiful lives because “they’re pretty” – right?


    smh – sigh

    This is longstanding strategy among black women. In fact while we’re on a roll here – let’s also remember that both black men and white women had to suffer in silence while black women and white men gorged themselves on interacial lust.

    Awkward black girls chasing white dick aint nothing new.

    Diasporan blacks didn’t come to be all the colours of the rainbow on black men fucking white women.

    Personally, I’m willing to let that particular slavery bygone – be gone, since we made it out of slavery, albeit severely damaged as we can see from cultural dysfunctions like the idealization of whiteness depicted in Awkward Black Girl.

    But no one is going label this black man an oppressor of black women and leave out all the other parts of the oppression story.

    I say to interacialist black women, be very careful about the can of worms you risk opening up by banging the interacial drum and invoking a false tale of black male oppression to justify it..

    You might piss of white boy because of all the shit we’ll bring up that he’d rather forget.

    Go your merry interacial way and shut up.

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