QOTD: Are You Okay With Your Man Going to the Strip Club?

by Danielle Pointdujour

In a few months my friend is getting married to one of the greatest guys out there.  Of course with the planning of the wedding comes the planning of the bachelor and bachelorette parties.  Now while my friend wants to have strippers at her bachelorette party (P.S. I HATE male strippers and will shank any friend of mine that ever gets me one for an occasion) she has absolutely forbidden her guy from going to a strip club or having strippers of any kind at his party.  From her own mouth she has said that her fiancé hasn’t given her any reason to think that he would do anything stupid, her mistrust is for the women who she feels will try to seduce him.  My question to her of course was who says the male strippers won’t try to do the same thing?  And if your man is truly the type of guy you think he is, these chicks could p-pop on a handstand in his lap while squirting Ace of Spades and diamonds out their va jay-jays and he would still be faithful to you.  A man who is truly strong in his commitment and beliefs is not going to drop and forget them in one night.

I could care less about my guy going to the strip club, it’s entertainment and even I enjoy a trip to Sin City every now and then so I can’t knock him for it.  As long as he’s not blowing every dime he makes at the club or cheating, I don’t see the problem.  Men can meet women to cheat with any and everywhere.  I’m more concerned about the woman he sees on his 7:45am train every morning or the woman who makes his breakfast at the Dunkin Donuts than the stripper he sees every once in awhile.  These are women he truly has access to and if he was going to cheat it’s more likely to be with them.  Besides, if in my heart I believe my man would leave what he has at home for the stripper at the club, then maybe he’s not the man I want in the first place.

Is it okay for your man to go to the strip club?  Would you go with him?

  • OSHH

    I would prefer a God fearing man that doesn;t go to such establishments for entertainment, not because of thinking he is going to cheat but because he simply is living above that sort of thing.

    Now if it were a bachelors party, I’m not going to tell the best man how to plan such an event but knowing the kind og man I wish to marry he would not be fazed by skrippers,LOL in the least.

  • PJ

    I wouldn’t bother me. If a man is a cheater, it doesn’t take a strip club to influence him to mess up. He’ll do it regardless and vice versa.

  • iQgraphics

    yup

  • Kai

    I’m the type that would end up going to the strip club with a man. Strip clubs are entertaining

  • d_nicegirl

    Me too. They usually have good DJs and some are even BYOB. What else can you ask for?

  • Mimi

    To the author, no offense to your friend, but this marriage is already starting off wrong and they aren’t even married! What’s up with the double-standard? Why is it okay for her but not for him? Personally, I wouldn’t care if my man went to one (even though he finds the thought morally repulsive), but if he didn’t, it wouldn’t bother me. I don’t like male strippers so he doesn’t have to worry about me going to see any and vice versa. But if that’s your thing, and you trust your partner, I don’t see what the big deal is.

  • Alexandra

    I think I would…

  • Freebee33

    Say that!

  • Shan

    Nope not at all….it doesn’t matter where he works up his appetite as long as he eats at home. I also trust him and as long as he isn’t a regular I’m cool (friend is getting married sure, one of the homies turns 30 cool, celebrating a professional milestone cool_…but every friday for the past year So not cool! I’ve also been to a few as well, even with him once…Finally, my man is extra frugal lol thus going to the strip club isn’t usually his thing.

  • Shan

    should read doesn’t bother me…Nope not at all

  • http://thedaughterofafrika.blogspot.com/ African Mami

    so long as the strip club is not based out in Africa or Amsterdam, sure do your thang brotherman! especially NOT Africa. HELLLLLLLL NO! DIVORCE ME!

  • Jane

    yes, please go and get out of my space.

  • binks

    Hell no, if he wants to give up his money and make it rain than let me grab my heels I could find better use for the money….I feel like we are letting to many things slide for a sake of a relationship what’s next…”no honey your cheat day is only Mondays…” no just no I get if it was a bachelor’s party or a dude night’s out once in awhile but regularly nope

  • OSHH

    Yep, and your comment reminds me of the standards post from yesterday.

  • CaliDreaming86

    Well, I don’t have a man, so I cannot accurately answer this question.

    I’ve been to a strip club – It wasn’t all that great.

  • MySister’sKeeper

    I don’t get it. Why are African strip clubs worse than the rest?

  • jrmint

    It’s not a problem for me, I’ve been to the strip club with guys I was dating and my friends and i go all the time. But we live in California and the strip clubs out here are nowhere near the down south ones. We have $2 tuesday all drinks are $2 and thirsty thursday where all drinks are $5 so you can imagine that on these days its poppin for men and women!!

  • Blue

    Some of you women sound so dumb. You are okay with him waisting his money on strippers? Do what you have to do at home & he wont need to look at anyone else.

  • The Taker (yeah I rep them GIANTS)

    Been to one, had alot of fun. If he wants to go, thats his business. The way I see it, he’ll f*ck up regardless if he visits a strip club or not. I am SOOOO FREAKING TIRED of women always wanting to put the blame on other women if their man so happens to screw up. I say the young man should go to the strip club with his friends and have a grand time. Be safe, be careful and be mindful, and everything should be smooth sailing. He is a GROWN ass man that im sure is capable (hopefully) of making his own decisions. I hope he reconsiders.

  • Tim

    “…her mistrust is for the women who she feels will try to seduce him.”

    That’s a completely ridiculous thing to think. Strippers are not prostitutes. Those are completely different jobs.

    If you were to talk with women who work as strippers, you’d find that most of them tolerate their customers and that’s as far as their feelings go. Hell, a good number of dancers will tell you that they are repulsed by many of their customers.

    A stripper’s job is to sell or suggest a fantasy. NOT to deliver on it. Y’all REALLY need to understand that. So much of your anxiety is just a waste of energy.

  • HowApropos

    You sound like the dumb one for thinking everyone needs to think like you.

  • ToriGoGo

    I just had to add my two cents. I won’t lie, I have gone to strip clubs with my man. Nothing wrong with getting some drinks and going out with some friends and watch some girl shaking her goodies for the money. I do however draw the line at the money because she will not partake in mine. My man/husbands money is my money and I won’t have him sliding my money down her gstring to pay her light bill when I have to pay mines too.

  • Nicole

    Yes! Matter a fact I would go with my man. My girl friends and I actually go to female strip clubs sometimes and the strippers love that a couple straight females are there instead of a bunch of thirsty men for a change. I’ve even bought my man a lap dance before.

    Im confident in my relationship I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. Other then the strip club thing were actually very “normal” couple… we don’t have weird fetish sex or threesomes or anything like that.

  • Please Excuse Me

    I’m not comfortable with my man going to strip clubs and am so glad that he is not into that.

  • Tumaini

    Amen.

  • http://thedaughterofafrika.blogspot.com/ African Mami

    Strip clubs are the same as whorehouses, back home. There are no rules and regulations. Women are NOT respected, they are not viewed as just simply that, strippers for entertainment, but rather are seen as prostitutes with no morals. Morevor they are breeding grounds for HIV/AIDS…no thanks!

  • Miss September

    I have no issue with my man , going to the strip clubs . I would accompany him as well , but if he wanted to go with his boys ; I would trust him.

  • fuchsia

    Yes and Yes! I would be happier about my man going to the strip club than to a regular dance club, because there are guidelines, hands off policies and he actually has to have money to spend in order to have a good time with either me or his friends. Once his allotted stack is depleted it’s time to bounce. I would have a problem if it were all the time, but occasionally is quite alright. I have gone to strip clubs both with my man and my friends and we always have a good time. I’m from Cali too btw, currently residing in Oregon, so it may be a little different from other strip clubs around the country.

  • chanela

    HELL TO THE NAW!!!! to me that is sooo disrespectful. i don’t care how “insecure” i sounds but its hella disrespectful. what the hell are you married for if you wanna have some random chick rub her naked body all over you and get you hard? wtf? i don’t understand how these see nothing wrong with it. i know most of the women on this site wanna act like they’re “progressive” for going to a strip club with their man. but there is nothing cute or progressive about some random bitch feeling all on him. SMH

    i’ve also never understood people having strippers before their wedding. they say ” last day of being single” but ummm…. were you single the last 3 years we were in a comitted relationship? NO so why act like you’re single now? ugh people confuse me.

  • chanela

    .”it doesn’t matter where he works up his appetite as long as he eats at home” i’ve heard stooge women say this before.. you mean to tell me that you have NO PROBLEM with some random naked bitch rubbing herself and her cooch all over him and getting him aroused…. as long as he is having sex with you after? you have no problem with your man not finding you attractive and therefore going to SOMEONE ELSE to arouse him…. and then he relieves the sexual tension on you?….. wow are these women pretty much calling themselves sperm dumpsters?

  • http://youtu.be/WWA9kQ6oeMA natural.is.me

    I’m not over the moon about my man going to the strip club but I trust him enough to know he loves me. I already told him you looking at a woman’s butt don’t be mad if I’m looking too! lol. I’d rather go with him but it’s really not on my list of top ten things I want either of us to do. But as for the friend in the story why can she have strippers and her man can’t? That’s why I don’t think these parties make sense. I’d rather do a joint party and have a night at the casino, bowling, house party or at a club and make it celebration where I know 1) we all had a good time together with lasting memories, 2) nobody is tempted by anything extra and 3) there’s no doubt about anyone’s behavior

  • Cantarah

    No. I also expect him not to disrespect me by blatantly checking out other women when I’m with him. I’m not dumb, I know he does it but I don’t need to know about it or see it. In return I don’t do or say things about or with other men that I know would make him uncomfortable. Every couple has different lines, there’s nothing wrong with that.

  • OSHH

    LOL, but it is disrespectful esp for married folk to do it. I do think trying to be open minded and progressive can sabatoge morals and values. It isn’t an issue of insecurity but of respect and also being careful of what you consume as entertainment, the wrong things can corrupt.

  • Blue

    THANK YOU!!!! These women are probably so scared to lose their men, they are willing to lower the standards & let their men do whatever it is they want. As long as they man comes back home, their satisfied. Then to go with him to the strip club. C’mon do you REALLY thinks he wants his girl tagging along?

  • apple

    I can’t help think of the bachelor party in The Player’s Club

  • Whatever

    Pretty Much! Plus the male stripper issue is a double standard. If she’s gonna have some sweaty dude all up in her face and twisting her into all types of positions why can’t he go to the strip club?

  • Appletree

    I love the strip club! I’d prefer a man that did as well. Strippers are the last people on earth that you have to worry about your man cheating on you with. They might flirt with him then and there but that’s simply for his money. They would also flirt with a guy that looked like Austin Powers of his money is right. And if my guy chooses to spend his money there, who am I to tell him no? As long as the bills are paid, why does it matter.

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