A few months ago I declared my lack of interest in older guys. Among other things, they’re not necessarily mature, they tend to rock out of style fashions, and they sometimes have kids who are old enough to be the one you’re getting your romance on with. And that’s what brings me to the topic of this post.
I dated a guy whose son was completely of age. He had tattoos, muscles, and a girlfriend who he’d often mention with admiration. But when he’d occasionally ask “What should I do, Miss Thembi?” about whatever twenty-one-year-old problem he was dealing with in his relationship with her, I couldn’t do much but shrug my shoulders and tell him to let go and let God. Part of my reason for doing so was that it was none of my business, but the other reason was that part of me wanted to say “Boo, you need a real woman.” Namely my over thirty self.
I’ve long since put that tenderoni out of my mind, but ever since I heard that Jennifer Lopez is dating a dancer who is 18 years her junior — and is proud of it — I’ve been wondering what it is that attracts us to younger men. While J-Lo’s relationship in particular has been called a rebound boy-toy adventure, she is not the only woman to have found romance with a guy from another generation. The Daily Beast spotlighted stars over ninety and mentioned that Celeste Hohn, who performed with Bette Davis in 1950’s All About Eve, has been married to a man FORTY years her junior since 2004. Forty years? That kind of difference goes beyond the “cougar” thing to a whole new level.
Just like I experienced six reasons not to date older men, I can come up with a few not to go younger: younger guys aren’t established in their lives or careers, don’t have much money for wining and dining, aren’t as experienced in the bedroom, probably don’t share my interests, don’t know how to handle a mature relationship, and might be caught up in the dreadful sagging skinny jeans fad. But not only does eliminating both older and younger guys leave you stuck with a slim sliver of prospects, it might not make sense. I haven’t experienced dating a younger guy firsthand so I’m not quite sure…what are the pros and cons of dating a younger man?
Do you or would you date a younger man? How much younger is too young?