We get it from our mommas, and that goes for more than just the junk in our trunks.  For most of us, all we know about life and womanhood comes from our mothers or another important woman in our lives.  As with most of our lessons, when it comes to love a huge part of what we know and live comes from what our mothers modeled for us.  How they handled the ins and outs of love shaped how many of us approach our own love lives.  From love tips like “Don’t buy a man shoes or he’ll wear those same shoes when he walks out of your life,” or “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” they tried their best to prepare us for the road ahead.  But what about our fathers?

We know love from a woman’s perspective, but for me personally, it would’ve been nice to hear what love is like from a man’s point of view.  I would love to hear the tips my grandfather gave my dad about women, did he hear the shoes tip too?  What has he learned is the way to a woman’s heart?  Just based on observation I learned that my father is a hopeless romantic, never letting love get the best of him no matter how hard he falls.  Like father, like daughter.   But still I wonder what tips my father could’ve given about love in my youthful days that could’ve saved me from learning those heartbreaking lessons.  Not saying his insight would’ve changed some of my decisions, but maybe it would’ve helped me view love with different eyes.

Did your father teach you about love? 

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  • Randomchick

    Nothing. Nothing at all. Not one thing. Ever. He just provided & that was it. My mom didn’t either for that matter. From her & my grandmother it was “don’t ever get pregnant or I’ll beat you so you can’t have it. My grandfather told me in a nutshell pretty much that “nigg*z aint sh*t” lol Oh & don’t be a whore. *shrugs* Then by the age of 16 my grandmother told me, “Wait til you’re married, keep em’ closed, don’t go to bed with them, cause they wont repsect you”. So I was ALL over the place & went through a lot & had to learn some hard lessons on my own.

    • Same here. Saw my sister get pregnant at 18, and the most my dad offered was, “You know not to do that, right?” Other than that, he was just a money source to me. I dared to get sick ONE time, and my mom asked if I was pregnant. My grandma was always STRONGLY against me and my sisters have boyfriends.

      My parents and my grandma have been through it with love and relationships. I knew it then, and I know it even more now. My grandma had my mom at 17 and wasn’t allowed to marry my grandfather. My mom was married once before and has been through step kids, cheating and illegitimate children. My father… a mess full of secrets.

      I know love doesn’t always lead to children, but obviously they went through it with relationships. They really could’ve passed down a lot of wisdom and saved me some trouble.

      And sometimes I wonder if I even would’ve listened.

  • brown

    my dad talked to me a lot about love, what it should and shouldn’t be, who it should and shouldn’t be with, and I’ve found a great guy partly because of his advice, but I wish he’d taught me not to shut down emotionally when things in the relationship get hard. incidentally, it’s exactly what he does, and it’s exactly what i do, and it doesn’t do any good to anyone to do that. i’m learning (on my own) that communication is a HUGE part of a successful relationship.

  • Crystal

    My Daddy taught me a lot about love & relationships through action, word, and knowledge. I can remember asking about sex at 13 and he bought me a book on all the technical aspects of the deed…lol. I laugh at it now but it was his way. He also took me on dates to show me how I was suppose to be treated as a lady by guys I would date later in life. In our talks, in which we still have today at 28, he talks about some of his mistakes and the lessons he learned in dating, love, and relationships. Two things he always stresses is open communication about everything in a relationship/marriage, especially about sex and money, and mutual respect for your partner in order to strive for a mutual goal or bond. I believe the most important thing he ever told me was “men are simple and say exactly what they mean. It is up to you to actually listen & take heed.” Oh yeah and that men may not express it often in word, but they NEED us. My dad is my best friend. Love that guy.

    • Jaslene

      Aww so sweet.

  • sweetpea

    My dad talked to me once when I was about 13 or so. I was a little embarrassed having dad talk to me about boys, so I regret not paying closer attention. But Im pretty sure he didnt tell me what I could have used hearing: that men will use you to try to get what they want, they will tell you they love you and that you are special and not mean a word of it.