Ironically, one of the most ignorant posts I’ve read in recent weeks appeared on a blog that goes by the name of “Very Smart Brothas.”

In an astoundingly insensitive article, aptly titled Rape Responsibility — And The Fine Line Between Victim-Blaming and Common Sense”, The Champ, a blogger on the site, decided to tackle the subject of rape and why women, in fact, do hold some responsibility for sexual assaults against their person.

He found his inspiration from a post written by writer Zerlina Maxwell for Ebony.com titled, “Stop Telling Women How to Not Get Raped.”

In Maxwell’s article, she brilliantly states why society’s misdirected venom towards “unladylike” women is endangering potential victims:

“Our community, much like society-at-large, needs a paradigm shift as it relates to our sexual assault prevention efforts.  For so long all of our energy has been directed at women, teaching them to be more “ladylike” and to not be “promiscuous” to not drink too much or to not wear a skirt. Newsflash: men don’t decide to become rapists because they spot a woman dressed like a video vixen or because a girl has been sexually assertive.”

Even though The Champ agrees that statistics revealing that 1 in 5 women will become victims of a completed or attempted rape in their lifetime are horrific, he draws the line at agreeing that men, and men alone, are responsible for women being violated, stating that women should employ a modicum of common sense when dealing with their baser male counterparts:

“Why can’t both genders be educated on how to act responsibility around each other? What’s stopping us from steadfastly instilling “No always means no!” in the minds of all men and boys and educating women how not to put themselves in certain situations? Of course men shouldn’t attempt to have sex with a woman who’s too drunk to say no, but what’s wrong with reminding women that if you’re 5’1 and 110 pounds, it’s probably not the best idea to take eight shots of Patron while on the first, second, or thirteenth date? Yes, sober women definitely get raped too, but being sober and aware does decrease the likelihood that harm may come your way, and that’s true for each gender.

“It seems as if the considerable push back again victim-blaming has pushed all the way past prudence and levelheadedness, making anyone who suggests that “women can actually be taught how to behave too” insensitive or a “rape enabler.” And, while the sentiment in Maxwell’s article suggests that victim-blaming is dangerous, I think it’s even more dangerous to neglect to remind young women that, while it’s never their fault if they happen to get sexually assaulted, they shouldn’t thumb their noses to common sense either.”

And this is where the waters get treacherous.

  • sunshyne84

    I don’t see it so much as victim blaming, but a reminder not to put yourself in potentially dangerous situations. Like how I take my trash out in the day time instead of at night. Men shouldn’t rape women, but we can’t tell a rapist from every other man so we have to use common sense and take precautions.

  • http://thedaughterofafrika.blogspot.com/ African Mami

    OHHHHHHHHH MI GOSH!!!!!!! *I STAND IN APPPLLLLLLLAUSEEEEE*** Ms. Savali, this is the one article you’ve written I have amened throughout the post! My God! You speak so articulately. There was victim blaming on Deelish’s story, and the comments on there were super crazy. I and a few other Clutchettes were involved in a back and forth as to why-the VICTIM is not to blame! I also saw the same article you mention on VSB, and I did not comment for I did not know whether to cry or shoot somebody!

    This is what I’m talking about! Thank you for articulating this so well.

  • http://thedaughterofafrika.blogspot.com/ African Mami

    my dear, tell that statement to the many countless women in the Congo-who have been raped, and not because they were in potentially dangerous situations. No, but they still end up being blamed.

    How about that girl like you and me, going about her business in her a skirt and a regular ol blouse-waylaid from home and raped. and still gets blamed

    My point is, victim shaming and blaming is very much part of our society-human ie. I’ve read rape cases in which yahoo commentors have torn the victim into shreds-even when they don’t have the full details. It’s even worse in our community.

    God helps us. Ms.Savali, again I salute your English….coz lawwd knows if you and I were to get into a competition, I would loose, coz I would only write one word. Motherfuggers!

  • Miss September

    I somewhat agree with the previous comment, but on the other hand it is a double edge sword. Just because a woman is alone with a man or even invited him to touch/pleasure her it does not give the excuse for him to rape her. NO MEANS NO ….yes we as women need use more discretion but that does not justify a man taking something that you did consent to give him no matter the circumstance. I think that women need to be more supportive of women who have been victims, to let them know that they did not warrant being taken advantage of .It is strength in numbers. If we rallied more around victims, I think men would practice more self control. They are not animals in a jungle, jeez the way some women excuse this type of behavior is deplorable …smh its really sad…..

  • Miss September

    * previous comment direct to @sunshyne84

Read previous post:
Close