Ironically, one of the most ignorant posts I’ve read in recent weeks appeared on a blog that goes by the name of “Very Smart Brothas.”

In an astoundingly insensitive article, aptly titled Rape Responsibility — And The Fine Line Between Victim-Blaming and Common Sense”, The Champ, a blogger on the site, decided to tackle the subject of rape and why women, in fact, do hold some responsibility for sexual assaults against their person.

He found his inspiration from a post written by writer Zerlina Maxwell for Ebony.com titled, “Stop Telling Women How to Not Get Raped.”

In Maxwell’s article, she brilliantly states why society’s misdirected venom towards “unladylike” women is endangering potential victims:

“Our community, much like society-at-large, needs a paradigm shift as it relates to our sexual assault prevention efforts.  For so long all of our energy has been directed at women, teaching them to be more “ladylike” and to not be “promiscuous” to not drink too much or to not wear a skirt. Newsflash: men don’t decide to become rapists because they spot a woman dressed like a video vixen or because a girl has been sexually assertive.”

Even though The Champ agrees that statistics revealing that 1 in 5 women will become victims of a completed or attempted rape in their lifetime are horrific, he draws the line at agreeing that men, and men alone, are responsible for women being violated, stating that women should employ a modicum of common sense when dealing with their baser male counterparts:

“Why can’t both genders be educated on how to act responsibility around each other? What’s stopping us from steadfastly instilling “No always means no!” in the minds of all men and boys and educating women how not to put themselves in certain situations? Of course men shouldn’t attempt to have sex with a woman who’s too drunk to say no, but what’s wrong with reminding women that if you’re 5’1 and 110 pounds, it’s probably not the best idea to take eight shots of Patron while on the first, second, or thirteenth date? Yes, sober women definitely get raped too, but being sober and aware does decrease the likelihood that harm may come your way, and that’s true for each gender.

“It seems as if the considerable push back again victim-blaming has pushed all the way past prudence and levelheadedness, making anyone who suggests that “women can actually be taught how to behave too” insensitive or a “rape enabler.” And, while the sentiment in Maxwell’s article suggests that victim-blaming is dangerous, I think it’s even more dangerous to neglect to remind young women that, while it’s never their fault if they happen to get sexually assaulted, they shouldn’t thumb their noses to common sense either.”

And this is where the waters get treacherous.

  • peaches

    You are accusing SUNSHYNE84 of, “Excus(ing) this type of behavior…),” when she did no such thing.

    Basically your comment is similar to hers. SUNSHYNE84 stated that, “(This is a)reminder not to put yourself in potentially dangerous situations.” She also stated, “Men shouldn’t rape women, but we can’t tell a rapist from every other man so we have to use common sense and take precautions,”

    You sated the same thing, “Yes we as women need use more discretion but that does not justify a man taking something that you did consent to give him no matter the circumstance.”

    What is the difference between your statement and SUNSHYNE84?

  • peaches

    @ Socially

    I get what you are saying. I think we have to speak to both men and women to get a better understading of how we can eliminate rape (or shall I say reduce rape). I think date rape is the most common. And being a woman I know that most of us do take precaution when out with men. So clearly this precaution doesnt prevent rape. Im sure the rape numbers are MUCH MORE higher than what’s reported because often women blame themselves and dont report it.
    As a woman I know it’s my right to say no at any time during sex. I have used that right and have been successful each and every time. Men have respected my wishes in the mist of extreme sexual arousal and I am so greatful that they did not use this power that you mentioned to rape me. But I dont think I will continue do certain sexual actions simple because I have heard too many stories of rape victims. Therefore, I’d rather use their experiences in an effort to prevent rape happening to me.

  • bob

    Yo people take shit that does not belong to them. People steal when they are deprived of something or want something they can not have. That is life and human nature you will not change it. you have to use your common sense in situations if you walk through a group of horny drunk guys naked , you are probably going to get your ass grabbed. If I went to a prison and walked through the showers bending over to get some soap, without protection some dude is probably going to stick his penis up my behind. This what some people do they take what does not belong to them, the act is disgusting and it is wrong but their are alot of crimes that are wrong but people still commit them. you can protect yourself from these bad people by using common sense. or you can think that you are living in a paradise where nobody will rape you and if they do its just their fault. Women are not dumb take responsibility for your actions if you did something stupid to put yourself in the situation to be raped you have some responsibility in not protecting yourself. if I left the keys in my benz with the door open and the car still running in front of the projects , and when I came back it was gone, the person who stole it was wrong, but I must admit what I did was very stupid.

  • Tonton Michel

    The problem I have with this victim blaming and accountability argument is that both sides take it to extremes. No one deserves to be raped regardless of the circumstances. But telling women to take precautions is not victim blaming. Saying rape victims provoked the rape from men is as ridiculous as running around acting like all men know better or care to know better. There are criminals walking among men and to pretend otherwise is putting your self at risk.

  • baabaa

    As I woman, I agree. There is a difference between blaming and taking precaution.

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