After the Grammys, Chris Brown Tells Haters: ‘F**k Off!’ But Should They?

Leelee says:

@ Jo-Anne.
Men should control their tempers? Just men? I have a few issues with this argument. Scenario: I go through my boyfriend’s phone. When I do this I discover that my boyfriend has slept with my best friend, my cousin and my sister. I’m furious so when he gets out the shower I decided to gather every dish and lamp in the house and throw them at him repeatedly. A busted lip here, a few broken teeth there. In the midst of my fury, my boyfriend decides to lose his temper as well and comes at me. But what do you know, I am all out of plates and lamps. There’s no reason for him to keep coming at me; but he does. By the time he’s done I have a black eye and a few fractures. He didn’t have to do that. He could have restrained me or called the cops. He was wrong. I do believe that, but I also believe that I was not a victim. I was a perpetrator just as wrong, if not more, as he is. I am helping to bring this feeling into my home. If my children see this I am just as accountable as he is. It seems accountability is nonexistent in today’s society. I think this is part of the problem as well. Granted, I don’t think most relationship abuse occurs in this form, but to discount it just because omen are weaker is wrong. Women are more resourceful than that. Our fists don’t work as well on men so we use other utilities. I guess my perspective on abuse is different because I saw a different form of it. I once saw my former aunt break a plate over my uncle’s head when she thought he was cheating, which he was. Got him by surprise when his back was turned and busted his head open. I fell into the wall and stayed that way for a few seconds. Just as she threw his phone at his bleeding head and raised another plate my uncle backhanded her and told me to call the police. When they got there my uncle was the only one who got arrested. (This could be due to the fact that we live in a small, predominately white town and his ex wife was in fact white. Nothing ever happened to her and my cousins were left living with a mom who they constantly saw slapping, kneeing, scratching and biting their step dad of the moment. My cousin grew up thinking that it was ok to hit, slap, and punch whatever guy she is dating when they were arguing. At least until her first semester in college. Her and her boyfriend were outside of a movie theater and she supposedly saw him checking out another girl. She slapped him a good one. Fortunately, it was in front of a cop. She got arrested and now has to go to court appointed anger management. I’m glad she’s getting the help she needs. I think that if we start acknowledging the seemingly smaller and more common incidents of violence. We could get somewhere with these discussions. When you see a woman slap a man, throw items, dangerous or not dangerous, or even pick up a bat or crow bar to batter a man’s car, there should be no “You go girl!” moments. THAT is domestic violence. The same goes for when a woman tries to walk away from a conversation and the man grabs her arm a little too hard to keep her there against her will. Or a man using his body to physically back you into a corner or against the wall to have you cower. These acts escalate. The next time Christmas comes around and you find yourself watching This Christmas(a movie ironically starring Chris Brown), and you get to the part where Regina King has finally had enough of Laz Alonzo’s character and decides to get revenge by pouring baby oil on the floor, which makes him fall, and whipping him with a belt, remember the message you’re sending to your kids as they see you shout “Get him girl!”. And these last statements are not directed specifically towards you Jo-Anne, just in general.

Socially Maladjusted says:

bobdobolina

“sounds like you’re working through some personal demons here, maybe? Good luck with that, just be careful how much of it you project onto “black women.”

chuckles

nuff said – on that.

I like how you pointed out that it’s unwise to cherry pick the which trangressions you allow celebrities to rehabilitate, and how that kind of selective vengefulness could easily be applied to persecute and exclude anyone in the public eye whose deeds or mere presence in the celebrity pantheon, are irksome to those with some axe to grind.

Very perceptive

and canny.

With that said, for myself, I’d like to see the entire celebrity class swept away, just another class of of unworthy parasites who prey and look down on the working man and woman in my book.

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