Hi, my name is Danielle and I have amazing sex!  I can also fake an orgasm like nobody’s business.

The other day while out with the girls we recounted hilarious stories about our personal faking it experiences.  It really got me to thinking about my own experiences with faking it and how many men to this day never knew it was all an act.  Just thinking about it reminded me of one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, the panting, the moaning, the arched back, the trembling left leg and perfectly timed thigh squeezes that some of them thought was the result of an amazing display of sexual prowess…not!

It’s been quite a while since I’ve had to fake an orgasm and I can’t say that I miss those days.  I didn’t fake all the time and not with every man.  When I did fake it, it wasn’t always because the man was bad in bed.  Sometimes I’m just sleepy or still pissed off about some mess you said earlier and only having sex with you so I can sleep a bit better.  Sometimes it’s just enough already and I want you off of me before you screw the skin off Miss Kitty.  Other times….you just suck.  Whatever the reason, I want to know how is it that men can’t tell when women are faking it?!

Now if the sex is happening between two people who just met and aren’t emotionally connected in some way then I get why a man wouldn’t notice.  He’s not focusing on pleasing her as much as he is focusing on getting off.  But for couples that have been together for awhile I think he should know.  He should have been paying attention to his woman enough to really know her body and how it works.  He should be able to feel her rise in temperature and changes in breathing; he should be able to tell if he is satisfying his woman.  I mean come on, if a chick goes from low moans to speaking in tongues in a matter of seconds and you haven’t changed your stroke in any way or barely have the head in…chances are fellas you’ve got a faker.

I found a nice article over on Askmen.com  that gives men a few signals to watch out so they will know whether or not that Mariah note their lady just hit topped off a dramatic climax or was just dramatic.  Here a few of the signs to pass on to the man in your life…if you don’t want to keep faking that is.

Vaginal Muscle Spasms.  This really should be the most obvious sign.  Women usually can’t control the fast paced contractions of their walls during an orgasm so if he doesn’t feel a kung-fu grip on little man while she’s hootin’ and hollerin’ guess what?….It’s fake, fake, fake!

Red Lips. This is one I never knew about, but then again I can’t see myself during an orgasm.

Sensitive Clitoris. This one for sure is true.  The “love button” is generally extremely sensitive after an orgasm and needs time to recoup.  This doesn’t mean the woman will end the session right after an orgasm, but she will definitely try to slow down the pace a bit so she can build up for the next one.

The moral of the story is this, sex is a mutually beneficial act and should be treated as such.  Men need to take their time and get to know what makes their partner squirm so that there is no need for us to fake it and ladies we also need to start opening up more about what it is that pleases us.  Falsely shaking legs and lying to these men is what has them walking around with these over-inflated King Mandingo egos in the first place.  It’s time to stop faking good sex and start having good sex…who’s with me!

So have any of you faked an orgasm before?  Why do you fake and how often?

 

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  • theflagrant1

    I never fake the real thing, though.

  • Shirley

    I faked it. Twice with the same boyfriend. And then I told him anyway because I felt guilty, so I shouldn’t have even bothered with the faking it. It just never did really click for us sexually. He was selfish in bed and his whole attitude was, “This is what I do, and if you can get yours while I’m doing my thing, great. If you can’t, then maybe next time, sorry.”

    Oh well. That’s why he’s an ex.

    • Brooklynhello

      I don’t blame you for getting rid of that sucker lol

  • Brooklynhello

    I can’t fake it. As much as it hurts a mans’ ego, they can learn from it to perform better the next time. Some men just don’t care. I once had a guy who was the perfect length and width, but could never last long enough for me to get mine. It was also followed by an excuse like “this is new and it was great” “give me an hour and we’ll do it again” “It’s been a while so I couldn’t hold it” and blah blah blah…after a couple of attempts I gave up.

  • YES. I definitely have faked. It’s not something I do to make the guy feel better but sometimes you just want it to be over and you know you’re not going to get there. I have not done that for a long time but It’s easier to make myself get there on my own. There have been times when I’ve directed someone how to get me there and it has worked. I’ve usually only faked when I’m really not in the mood. Otherwise, I say about 98% of the time I don’t fake, that expressionless face is a dead giveaway that I’m not feeling it and the issues is usually worked through and corrected.
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